Chapter 12

A whole month passed and my life became more and more easy. I started painting, visited all the museums I could think of and  for my birthday I got a little dog from David. I gave him the name: Fluffy.
He was a little Golden Retriever, one of my fav bried. He discovered the whole flat for himself. After a few days he wasn't shy anymore. He was overactive and wanted always to play. I nearly melted from him time after time.
It was still unbelivabe that I could live here with them. That this is my new life. I was really happy and couldn't wait for our child's birth! Today I had an appointment with my doctor who was a really nice man. But I didn't tell  Dave that I'd go, and today... today was the big day! They'd tell me that it'd be a boy or a little girl! I wanted to keep it in secret until evening when I planned to prepare a nice dinner with candlelight. Dave wasn't here the all day, 'cause he needed to organize some stuff around his new solo album, so I'd have enough time, he'll come home late.

The day passed and I was really excited while I prepared dinner. I organized everything. There were some candles with their cozy light, I put some beautiful music on, and got into a nice black dress. Now I couldn't hide my tummy, but I liked it how it was growing day by day! I felt the baby's presence more and more, and it was a fantastic feeling!
So I finished the dinner with a smile on my face which grew wilder as I heard the key in the lock. I went to the living room where he already took off his shoes and smelled the fragrant air.

- Anything to celebrate honey? - he asked.
- Yes Dave.
- What? I hope I haven't forgotten  something?
- No, no, come Dave, sit down, the dinner is ready - and I put the dish on to the table.
- You are beautiful in this dress have I told ya? It suits for a mum-to-be. Your tummy is so nice round in it, he laughed, and he put his hand onto my tummy. - How's the little one inside?
I felt this is the right time.

- She is alright. Her development is going well. She is alright..
- SHE? What??? We'll have a girl??? - he smiled with the biggest smile I ever saw on his face.
- Yes, love, Stella'll have a little sister! - I smiled back with a radiant look.

- Oh dear, my dear ones - he sighed and put his face on my stomach. And as if his daughter wanted to greet his father, she kicked a big, her movements became visible for us.
- Oh she is moving! -  he said almost without a word and with awe in his voice. - OMG! I'll have another little star! - he said with a radiant smile. His voice reflected disbelief and joy. He stroked my tummy. It seemed that he didn't want to let us sit down. I was just smiling at him.
- It's rather still a strange feeling that she moves. Amazing, that she is really inside me. A little life which we'll love with our whole heart for the rest of her life! - I added and stroked Dave's hand on me. He gave a big kiss on my belly again and stood up.

- Natalie, my love - he whispered softly -, come here, please.

I stepped to him and he embraced me into his arms. We were standing there for a long time, listening to each other's breath and having our little daughter between the two of us.

- Let's eat, dear. The dinner is getting cold - I said silently still with a smile on my face.
- OK, but please sit next to me, not opposite. I can't let you two go - he stroked my face as his other hand was still on my tummy.

The meat and the veggies wasn't exactly cold, but we ate it that way. And after it I brought in the struddel I baked for this special event.
After dinner we just layed on to the bed and were talking about sweet nothings until the late night hours.

At night I woke up once, seeing Dave awake, but he didn't realize it, 'cause he was stroking my naked tummy and was speaking and singing quietly down there. I smiled and listened to him.
- "Before last night my heart was grey, Like my country is today, Big kaleidoscope I see, A thousand people gaze at me, To break the ice I start to sing, About a cell called everything, A cell so big a word like small, Is suitable to say it all, Is the fighting over? I lost track..."
It wasn't a simple lullaby as I thought first, but it touched me, while he continued...
- "Like a wave it all comes back, Same kaleidoscope I see, Someone standing next to me, It's hard to do, it's hard to try, Hard to stop wondering why, Do I keep filing every case, When the answer's on your face, You can't see her but you do..." The song he sang on his low voice made my eyes wet.

It was sad and beautiful at the same time. At the end he slowed a bit and stroked my tummy again.
- "Music is transparent too, So join me, sing with all your might, Hallelujah, praise tonight, Far away and long ago, Wintertime meant feeling low, Now every single star looks bright, God was in my bed last night..."

For my surpirse our daughter moved once after he finished the song. My body wrung together a bit from the feeling. He noticed the little one's movement. He smiled and gave a kis on my skin.

I slept back with his image singing softly to our child, thinking he was alone, revealing his innermost self burnt into my mind.

- You know, I was thinking about something - I said to him next morning when we're up for a while still laying in bed in his protecting arms.
- What about? - he stroked my upper arm with his fingertips drawing little circles on my skin.
- Because of her coming I thought that we must furnish a room for her. We should start it, don't ya think?
- Yep, you've right.
- But I know that you've many work to do now that your album is just around the corner. So I thought, I could do it alone. It's not a problem to go shops and orther and buy things for her. What's your opinion, love?

- Very well, she deserves the best. Only, I have a suggestion. Before you venture out shopping I order some catalogue of the biggest ones, like Mothercare and you can look at them and choose. when you have some ideas what is it you want I can take you there. Look, Nat, I don't want you walking all alone. If you want to go out I order Darren to come for you or me myself would take you. Is that okay? You are still a stranger here, maybe you would get lost, people would hear your, oh sweet accent and would take an advantage of you. I want to protect you if you let me doing so.

- Alright Dave, you know this city. I trust in you - I played with my fingers on his bare chest. - I still have an accent? - I smiled.
- Yep, and I like it. It's so sweet... - he stroked my back too - Reminds me that who you are, where you came from and what you've left for me.

- Teach me Dave, teach me. I want to speak just like you.

- I'm not the best of teachers, never liked any formal stuff.
- But you are already my teacher! I learned a lot from the songs you and Martin sang.

- Really? That's good to hear.
- I think each and every fan of yours from abroad can learn English with you - I shrugged my shoulders. - I find that good. You know languages are strange things. I find it intresting that one can learn and use more languages. Anyway I'm a bit sorry sometimes that we have different sources of words. And something  just came into my mind. I think we should teach our little star both languages. English and Hungarian. She could use them both. Don't ya think?

- Yeah, good idea. I like your language so much. Sounds so exotic to my ears. There are many sounds in it I can't even pronounciate.
- Oh, sure you can. I teach you. Repeat it after me: SZE-RET-LEK.
He tried it and for the third time he managed someting like sounded a bit like the original word. We laughed our ass off, so cute he was!
- What does it mean, baby? Tell me!
- It means: I LOVE YOU.
- You! Now, listen to me: SZERETLEK? SZERETLEK. Is it any better now?
I looked at him and answered him silently: - It is just perfect my dearest David.

He smiled at me and bent to my lips. Our kisses were full of tenderness. I loved it when he did it this way. So moving. And the memory that he said "I love you" in my language warmed my heart.

- Hey, Natty, I know another one, just look! Kö-szö-nöm. And I know what it means! It means Thank You!
- Dave, nice try! Listen and repeat after me: kö-szö-nöm.
And he did. He said "thank you" in my language.
- You can do it very well. Why didn't you learn foreign languages? You have the ability.
He storked my waist before he answered:
- Ability? Maybe, but I don't think so. But definietly for lack of patience to sit there for hours and learning grammar and stuff.

- And you're not like that.
- No, I'm not - he smiled and stroked my face and kissed me again - But you know, I could lay by you side for hours, motionless just to hear your and our baby's heart beating.
- And to sing her a song...
- Oh, so ya heard it last night - he stroked now my round tummy.

- Yes David and it moved me to tears. You see, months past by and I still don't believe this could have been happened to me. That you...you came along and...unbeliavable, that YOU love me!
- You still make me stand on a piedestal as a demigod, right? You must understand Nat that I am just a man among the billions.
- My man, Dave, you are mine - I cried out and laughed at him happily.

- Yes, all yours. And you're all mine with our little one - he said and started to kiss me - I can feel your warm love in every touch of yours. I love it. I love you. Really. So don't worry.
- I'm not worried - I replied as I hugged him.
After a few minutes and many kisses I said:
- And there's another thing  we should talk about.
- What, luv?
- What'll our little daughter's name?

- Well, I don't really have any ideas.

- Pfff... Dave, don't say that there isn't a name which you would like! - I smiled and put his hand back on my belly.
- Ehmm... no, I really don't know. I don't mind. I'll like the name you'll choose.
- Alright then. Here are some of the winners. I like for example Isabelle, Catherine, or Mia or Emma. But I like Lillian, Leah, Clair and Katie, too.
- Huh you were thinking about this lately.
- Yep, I had time while I was painting - I smiled - Tell me what are those you prefer? We can shorten the list and decide the exact name later.

- Natalie, the Mia is sooo nice! I want her to be named: Mia Sylvia Gahan. What do you think my love?

- Great name! I like it very much! - I smiled - So from now on, dear, we'll call you Mia Sylvia Gahan. In shorter form: Mia - I said to our daughter while I stroked my skin softly. - What do ya think?
At that moment she kicked another big one, which uprooted a big sigh from me.

- Oh yeah, she is restless like her father - he nodded to me - Oh the little wild one!
- I'm so curious how she would look like.
- She would be beautiful and kind like you, he sighed while he was kissing my belly all around.

- But she'll have your beautiful eyes! - my fingers went into his hair.
- Why? - he looked up - You don't like your eyes?
- Not really, they are so simple... so... grey - I sighed.
- It's silly, dear! I love your eyes, cuz I can read your warm emotions from them! So don't be silly.
- But... - I sighed but he started to tickle me a bit and I was laughing loud.
- Nooo, Dave! You'll kill me! And Mia'll kick my kidneys down! - I shouted with a smile on my face.
- No, no, she is a good little girl, she listens to her daddy, isn't she? - and he sticked his mouth to my tummy - Is someone inside there? - he asked - Do you let your father tickle your mother, honey? Kick one if you do!
And she kicked again, but not just once.
- Oh my God! This hurts, darling! - I said smiling - You awakened your daughter, Dave! - I put my hands on Dave's moving hands, but he continued it, and she continued her movements, too. It was a strange feeling, and I wondered how this little beeing can have so much energy at such a young age.

In the sixth month when my tummy grew fast we had made a 4dimension Ultra sound pictures and we could see her delicate features for the first time. She was already a diva, she was smiling when the photo was made and sucked her thumb. David could stare that pic for hours at length. He framed it and put it on the wall in our bedroom opposite the bed, so he always was able to glance at her.

While Dave was working on his solo album, I ordered stuffs for Mia's room, and went shopping   with Dave's bodyguard.
My love's kids came to us week after week. Rosie shouldn't choose yet. But Dave had  to go to the court sometimes. After  this, he was always on the floor, and I tried to cheer him up.
Today he was working in the studio again. I was painting a picture which was ordered from a rich man, when the doorbell rang.
It surprised me, cuz I haven't expected anyone today. I  opened the door and looked at the person arriving in utter disbelief.
- Jennifer?
- Ah, so you recognize me. Good - and she put a smile on her face - Hello, I just brought some paper for Dave to sign.
- Oh, please do come in, I am Natalie.
- Well, yes, I know, saw your photo, Jimmy showed it to me some time ago.

I smiled a bit cautiously and invited her in.
- Can I bring something to drink?
- Yes, an orange juice, if it's not a problem.
- Of course not. Sit down, please.
I went to the kitchen. It was strange for me that Dave's ex was here.
- Here you are.
- Thanks.
I looked at her.
- There's something else that you want to talk about. Am I right?
- Actually, yes.
- Please, go on...

- Well, it is the kids. I am glad they like you. But I would like to ask what are your plans after your baby will be born.
- In what ways?
- Well, it's Rosie - she said -, that maybe, maybe she wants to live at your place. Will you be able to love her as your own?
- I love her, Jennifer. I love her already. And my answer is yes. But of course I never would be able replacing you.
She tried to smile, but didn't succeed, she didn't burst out crying, she was at the brink of it, there were tears in her eyes. She sat there in silence. It was an ackward and uncomfortable situation for the both of us. She broke the silence.
- Dave doesn't know I came here and I would be grateful if this would stay in this way.
- Sure, if you want it like that.
- I can make him sign the papers at another time. I wanted to see you with my own eyes - she said and her face was gloomy when her glance fell on to my round and rather big tummy which held the child of her almost ex-husband. I saw that she was really immensly sad. Her life fell apart and here was I with this kid inside me and I was younger and it seemed more lucky or blessed.
- If Rosie comes to live with you - and I was grateful she didn't said, at her daddy, but meant the two of us, Dave and me - take care of her. She is very sensitive, like her father.

- Don't worry, I'll take care of her if she choose us - I smiled a bit to calm her. But in my heart I realized, that this woman'll brake down if she'll lose her one and only daughter. I had to close my eyes not to let her see my tears in them. This grabbed my heart and Mia did a move too. I could felt Jen's sorrow so intensly,  cuz I'll be a mother soon, too.
I was so sorry, that she must stand these hardships.
- Okay. Now it's better if I go away, before Dave arrives - and she stood up. I did the same and followed here to the door.
- Jen! - I said when she was about to leave standing in the open door.
- Yes? - she turned back with a sad face.
- I'm so sorry! - I hugged her suddenly.

She stood there frozen, but then she responded the hug. -You really are as nice and brave as Dave told me - she said simply.
- Jennifer, we don't want to take Rosie away from you!
- I know, I know. But, the truth is, Dave was damn right again, I was away from home so much, you surely know I am writting plots and quite often travels to the place the film is made. Rosie is her daddy's girl, we all know that. He cared so much… And Jimmy is still so very sad, though he sees Dave visiting us regularly. But what has happened happened, we can't help it, can we? Goodbye Natalie and take care of them.
- I promise I will. Goodbye Jennifer.

And she went away so suddenly as she came. One hell of a strong woman. Greek tragedies came to my mind I saw in theatre, she behaved like a bereaving Greek woman. Well, she was Greek indeed.

I was still under the sock of her appearance wen Dave came home and found me on the coach sitting and watching the two glasses on the table.
- What's up, luv? - she bent to me and gave a kiss on my lips while he stroked my tummy.
- Nothing. I was just thinking.
- About what? - he sat down next to me after he took her jacket off.
- Nothing special. Just about Mia's room - I hated lies.
- Aha. And who was here?
- What? - I looked at him.
- There are two glasses on the table.

I was in distress, I promised Jen not to tell him she was here.
- So, who was here, you are not cheating on me, do you? - he asked smiling.
- David I am six month pregnant with your child inside me! - I answered.
- It was a stupid joke, sorry. So.
- Dave, I can't lie to you or to anyone else by that matter. Someone was here, but I promised not to tell ya.
- It's okay honey, I met her in front of the building.
- Ah, you did?

- Yes.
- And what did she said?
- That she wanted me to sign some papers. Exactly those - he pointed on the table next to the maindoor.
- Aha, alright.
- She wanted to see you two, right? - he asked gently.
- Yep.
- How did she act?
- She was nice.. She didn't pointed a knife to my troath, don't worry.
He smiled.
- Jen acted normal, but she was really sad. I think she accepted that she can't get you back. That's all - I couldn't tell him my worries about Rosie. But sooner or later I should.  I was afraid that he would think that I don't want the little blond one here.
- Yes, she is sad, like I am sad too - he admitted - Not easy losing her, even if I'll get some great reward at the end - he put his hands to my belly and stroked it gently.

- Dave, when must Rosie choose? - I asked calmly and watched as his hands stopped on me. I felt the warmth from his hands. Mia moved once.

- There would be the final decision at the court at the 23th of August and then she must tell there whom she wants to live with.
- In two weeks time.
- Yes. Are you sure, you would be love her as our own kid?
- David, yes, and this is the second time today I answer like this.
- So, that was the reason!
- She said, that probably Rosie..
- I know, Jen and Rosie told me. Natalie, she has chosen me to live with. She would state it in front of the supreme court too. But I alrady know her choice. It's me, I mean us.

I couldn't really rejoice in his happiness. Of course I was happy cuz he was happy. But I remained sad watching my tummy and his hands on it.
I was thinking about Jen. She knows it, but how'll she get over it after Rosie'll left her current home to move here? I was sad, angry because of this complicated situation, and tired of it all.
- What's what bothers you?
- Nothing - I said and rather nested myself on to his warm chest. - Just be with me - I added while a teardrop fell on his shirt.
- But there is something I see!
- David, Jen broke my heart. She was sooo desperate and hurt. And I didn't want to hurt her! No way! And her daughter, Dave she would collapse, if......Her world is colliding into pieces. I'm so sorry..
- There is someone beside her who cares for her, his name is Robert.

- You mean, they are a couple? - I asked with a surprised tone in my voice.

- Yes, they are - he answered simply - Every coin has two sides, ain't I right? Don't cry! She would survive, I would survive. It would be okay.
- But if you had seen what I saw!
- Believe me, I did.

- Alright then - I nodded and put my head back on his chest to hear his heartbeat.

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