Chapter 19


Despite his new discoveries his mind was still so blurry, he wasn't able to gather his thoughts properly. With one hand he caressed Isa's face and said:

“ I want to go home Isa. I know you know me all too well, probably you know where I live. Take me home, please!
Isa, help me - I know who I am, what I do, but where I live and who is there worrying about me is still confused - and this Carla I dream of is still a complete mystery. You who know so much about me it seems, you have to help me fill in the gaps if you really care about me! "

Isa looked into Dave's eyes and felt tears welling up in her own. This beautiful man was desperate for her help, but if she gave him what he wanted, she would lose him immediately ! She decided to offer him a deal.

" You can't travel yet - but when you are fit enough I'll take you back to New York, to your wife and daughter and stepson.
Until then, promise me to stay here, where you are safe, because the papers are full of your pictures and you will be spotted and hounded by paparzzi the minute you enter a public place. "

" Really ? People are looking for me? " Dave sat up and his eyes were wide with interest.

" Do you want to see the newspapers? " Isa brought her laptop over and placed it on Dave's lap. She typed in the titles of several well-known French newspapers, and showed him articles featuring the stroy of his disappearance, photos of him, and other shots of a woman in dark glasses, trying to move away from the flashes of the photographers.

" Is this ...? " Dave murmured...

" Yes, Dave, this is Jen - your wife. Do you want to see a better picture of her? " Isa's heart was breaking - here she was helping Dave recover his memory, preparing him to go back to his life with his family. It hurt like hell!

Dave said he'd like to see any photos Isa could find, so she showed him his whole family - where he lived in New York - his favourite shops, pictures of himself in his favourite clothes - Dave seemed unmoved by it all, except for the shots of his two children - Jack and Stella Rose.

This information was all filed away in Isa's computer, and Dave was impressed at her collection of photos. He seemed indifferent to the shots of Jen, passing quickly on to other shots, and Isa was intrigued by this.

" The Doctor is coming back tomorrow - we can ask then when you'll be well enough to travel, OK? "

" But I could call them now - there must be a way to find my home number ... " Dave took her hands in his, and implored her with his eyes.

" How ? I can't think how without alerting the press ..." Isa thought hard.

" You must be quite a fan to have all this information at your fingertips, not to mention all the group stuff around your flat - how did you get interested in Depeche Mode? "

“ Ever since 1991, when my mum let me pick out a CD as a present, and I chose "Violator", Depeche and especially you meant very much to me, but back then I was just an average fan .. Then, a couple of years ago, my life changed in a very hard way, when my mum was diagnosed with cancer.

"Your music and Depeche, became so much more than I could ever have imagined. It was the music, the Devotee being, the fact that you were here right on this planet, making your music, and me being able to listen to it, that kept me going during this period of enormous stress and suffering. It became my personal therapy, something to run to when things got rough, in my so far carefree life. I smiled sometimes, cried my eyes out on other times,but your voice was always there, keeping me company, no questions asked.

"Last year, in August, my mum died, after a hard struggle. She was tired of fighting, and wanted rest, finally. She had come to a point where there was no return possible. I just kept escaping to your voice for support. Ah, David, I want to thank you for all the wonderful music you have been giving us all these years, and hope you will do the same for a long, long time to come.

"You have given me support in the most difficult period of my life, you brought me and my friend Mau together, and that is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. You mean so much to me, not only as a singer, but also as a person, you have such a wonderful personality, and it hurts me when people don't seem to get that. Somehow, it must hurt you too .. But for me, everything you do, all the music you make, whether it's with the Mode or on your own, will be good and wonderful.

"Of course, there will always be songs I like better than others, but you haven't disappointed me so far, so - what I'm trying to say is ... Dave, I love you... “

Dave was just sitting there as Isa poured out all she had to say, not being able to say a single word himself.
He was stunned. He knew that something like this was coming but wasn't aware of the intensity of Isabelle's feelings for him.
He was moved, looked at her, saw tears in her eyes and he couldn't help give her a long, heartfelt hug.
And Isa put her head on his shoulders and cried hot tears into his neck.
He wanted to console her, to make her feel good and kissed her again.
And this time Isa kissed him back with a desperate passion, a kiss fit for someone dying.
And her hot kiss awoke a heat in him, his body reacting quickly as he felt desire sweeping over him.

" Isabelle - can I call you Belle ? - I had no idea -" Dave murmured into her neck. He lay down on the bed and pulled her to him - they stroked each others' hair and just gazed into each others' eyes, before Dave said…

" I want to ... Belle ... do you know what I want to do? " his voice was full of passion. She guessed straight away.

" But - your wounds - don't you think ... "

" We just have to go easy - that's all - but I want to do this - I need you now - I want you Belle - Isabelle... " he was nuzzling into her neck again while his hands massaged her back.

He found the lower edge of her soft thin sweater and felt under it with both his hands, caressing the soft skin of her back,
making her sigh with bliss - just this slight touch was heaven for her...

She in turn found the front of his shirt and started to slowly unbutton it, they were looking into each others' eyes now - each could see the desire of the other, but even knowing that what they wanted was so near, neither of them seemed to want to rush this - as if they knew it would be just this once, and every moment had to be savoured.

Dave started whispering again. Isa caught the words "soft" and "skin" but nothing else, so she decided to guess the rest.
She was smiling, secretly enjoying the feeling of her nipples hardening, as the sweater brushed against her braless breasts.

Isa was shaking in her anticipation and because she was scared - she was going to make love with her hero, with her love for the first and probably for the last time ever. She was losing the last thin thread tying her to this world, she was in a dream like state.
Dave kissed her lips more fiercely and he moaned into her mouth when he felt her hands on his zip.

"You want me to take this off ? " she asked, already pulling her sweater upwards –

"Yes" he hissed - so I can kiss you here " he said suddenly cupping her breasts through the sweater ..
She gasped at his touch but it didn't stop her from finishing what she had started, and Dave sighed when his jeans were open as the pressure inside them had been mounting...

So the sweater came off and Dave was immediately greeted by the sight of Isa's beautiful firm white breasts - no bra to get in the way- " oh my - " he stopped to swallow noisily " Belle - you are so gorgeous - come here " and he took both her breasts in his hands, pushing them upwards, seeing how she liked this, before moving in for the kiss he had promised her.

Isa's head was thrown back, inviting Dave to taste the skin on her neck, but he quickly moved his chain of light kisses down towards her right nipple which he took into his mouth to savour with his tongue. Isa was dying to continue exploring Dave's jeans, but this sensation, this fire he'd started in her just by kissing her, was preventing her from moving - she melted into the feeling.

Dave's hot desire was going to consume her, there was a burning fire in his kisses, in his touch. He was the fire of life himself, that was one of the reasons Belle loved him. All his bestial, animalistic, atavistic male energy was pouring out of him, the instinctive mating reflexes found in animals. At his side she felt at home, alive. Dave pinned her to the sheets with his hands gripping hers tightly and was nibbling, licking, kissing his way from her nipples downward, toward Isa's jeans.

He undid the buttons and pulled them down just enough to see no underwear here either - "MMM - can I go visit your secret garden, madame? " he smiled knowing what her answer would be, but waited for it all the same ...

“ Serve yourself, David”, Isa’s whisper was barely hearable, she wanted him so much, Oh God, and when his palm, his long fingers started exploring her wet folds, it caused her to whimper. The sounds she gave turned Dave on even more and now he didn’t want to hesitate any more, he was more than ready to make her his.

He looked at her lying under him for just a moment, kneeling over her, before he finished taking off his jeans himself, then hers. He spread her knees with his hands, then slid them up her thighs as he lowered himself onto her - their bodies were touching all the way down, and Dave resumed his kissing trail, her mouth, her neck, her breasts, her stomach and then suddenly his tongue was inside her. And she let a cry escape from her lips, as he began to gently nibble her - he was giving her such exquisite pleasure that she couldn't breathe, speak, focus, she felt more animal than human at that point, in another world completely, and it was only when Dave stopped because he thought he'd hurt her, that she returned to the present world.

" Isabelle - do you want me ? " Dave's eyes were burning - asked like this, his question could elicit only one answer.

" Yes Dave, you have no idea - I've dreamed of this - of you - of this moment - just before you enter me - that look in your eyes - I was right - God - your eyes really are burning into me .... now make this real ! Love me! "

So Dave entered her gently, moving inside her a little further at each thrust with slow, precise movements until he was sure she was comfortable, then he took her legs and raised them so that he could go deeper into her - all the way into her - with
a raw power that had her crying out his name. Isa wanted this moment to never end, but could feel her body betraying her, her muscles were tensing and she knew she was about to come.

" Dave - let me see you - while I come - Oh sweet Jesus ! " and she could fight it no longer - she looked into his eyes as her body shuddered, telling him all he needed to know - driving him harder towards his own pleasure, which came soon after, and
had him groaning like a wounded savage beast - his eyes were still locked on hers.

As he thrust those last few times to send his love juice shooting into her, feeling her still deliciously tight around him.
He was overcome by the powerful feelings this girl had stirred in him - and it showed in his eyes. Isa had recovered now from her orgasm and wanted to know what he was thinking...he replied honestly that he wondered how she felt about him now ...

“ Don't ask questions like these, I still love you, period. I’ve loved you for so long, I wouldn't know how to stop - it's like you're a part of me even though I know I can never be a part of you .. What else is on your mind David? Your eyes are sparkling, filled with emotions, come on, spill them out for me! “

“ I am just really moved by your care and devotion to me - you are a beautiful person and a talented lovemaker - how does it make you feel to hear that? ”

Isa stroked Dave's face, as they were lying there, and felt herself choking with emotion as she said " Have you ever wished for something so hard that it hurts? Something you know you'll never have? How do you think I felt when I almost fell over you bleeding to death in that park?

"It was like you'd been sent to me - I could have walked away or been too scared of catching something from your blood to touch you, but I had to help you - it was my destiny - that moment was always going to happen - it's why I got delayed at my meeting -I was swearing and furious when I got to the park, but I realise now that if
I’d left on time I would have arrived too early in the park. Don't you see?

"But now I know that my part is over - I've done what I was supposed to do and now I have to... " she had to say it even if
it broke her heart " help you go back to your life - your loved ones. ” She held out just long enough and then collapsed into tears.

" Belle - listen to me - you never thought this would happen and then it did - and now we have this moment forever - our special memory! I’ve lost count of the brief encounters I've had, and you'll think I'm just saying this 'cos you're here with me now, but what we just did - it was way beyond any of those superficial one-offs... You gave me all of yourself - you bared your soul to me - and I’ll always remember you for that.

"I can't imagine what it must be like to hunger for someone the way some of my fans do - it upsets me that it makes them sad rather than happy. I hate the idea that they will never get what they want - but what can I do ? Other than sing for them and meet a few when I do promotional stuff ... " He was wiping Isa's tears away as he spoke, and noticed she had calmed down now.

" Dave, let's not talk any more - there's another of my wishes that it would be so easy for you to grant - would you mind ? "

“ What's that, Belle ? "

"I often dream of waking up in your arms .... " she looked at him shyly - how could he refuse her? So they settled into a position which kept her out of contact with his wounds and sore ribs, with Isa lying next to him, snuggled into his right side, their arms and legs entwined. And very soon they were fast.... asleep!



Meanwhile, back in Paris, Carla was locked in her apartment, seeing no-one other that Véro and Justin, who kept a constant vigil by her side. They were afraid for her - had never seen her so distraught.

The police had done all they could to find witnesses to what had happened in the park, and had come up with two people who said the same thing: a group of loud hooligan types, some of them skinheads, had been seen laughing and kicking something or someone - but neither of these people had felt brave enough to approach the scene. One had passed a young woman going in the direction of the incident, and gave a description of her ...

A full week passed - no phone calls, no news of Dave - his photos were in the papers, Carla had been told but refused to look, There was the hypothesis that he'd been kidnapped, but this idea had quickly fallen apart when no ransom demand was made.

Carla could do nothing but sip hot drinks and sit huddled on her sofa during the day, in complete silence. She felt so cold and nothing seemed to be able to warm her thoroughly - even though the days were bright and warm, she barely noticed whether it was day or night.

She only spoke in reply to her friends, and even then her voice was a ghostly whisper. Her love - her life - was gone... she was a shell, a husk, a drifting shadow - she could muster no hope at all, even when the description of the young woman and her Belgian registered car came to her via the police.

Véro tried to keep Carla interested in food - forcing her to drink hot soup and making her little toasted snacks - but not much was eaten. Something would have to be done for her, she and Justin agreed, so they arranged for a grief counsellor to visit.
When the intercom sounded, Carla looked suspicious - she had sensed that something had been planned by her so-called friends...

The woman came in - smiled at Carla and announced who she was. Véro held her breath.

Carla's eyes grew black with rage - through clenched teeth she hissed at the woman and her two friends ...

" Are you trying to drive me crazy? How dare you try to make me think that - that - " and the words just would not come.

" I can't say it because it's not true! He's out there somewhere and all you can do ... all you have thought of is this??? " she gestured with contempt to the highly embarrassed woman who Justin rapidly escorted from the flat. Carla broke down on her sofa and sobbed loudly into Véro's arms.”

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