Chapter Eleven

A few mornings later Callan walked into the lounge of the apartment she shared yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Hey geek you look awful.”

“Well thanks a lot Nathan you don't look so hot yourself.” she laughed

“You pulled another all nighter?”

Yawning again she nodded “Yeah but at least it's finished now.”

“You look exhausted sit down and I'll make you some coffee.”

“Thanks” she smiled gratefully following him through to the kitchen “So how are you anyway I haven't seen you for days.”

“And who's fault is that? you're hardly here anymore.”

“I know but you know I can't study here very well.” she gestured around the unusually silent apartment "Although I could get used to it being like this you know.”

“What? Just the two of us living together on our own.” he teased.

“God no, could you imagine what a disaster that would be, I meant the peace and quiet, the tidiness.”

“Yeah the other guys can be a bit intense sometimes can't they?” Nathan agreed. “So make the most of it Calsie babes another 4 days and they'll be back” he went over and turned her round to face the door “ and you're supposed to be sitting down remember so go sit.”

“Mm that sounds a good idea”

“Something wrong hon” he frowned as he watched her wince as she rubbed at her wrist and lower arm.

“Yeah it really hurts again, I guess I've overdone it working.”

“Here let me see” gently he took her arm and massaged it for her “Did you rest it every now and again like I said to.”

“I was going to but I really got into the paper and I wanted to get it finished.”

“And so you didn't... Calsie” he shook his head smiling at her “You're impossible do you know that? I'll get you some painkillers.” He went over to the far cupboard and pulled out a packet of ibuprofen “Here take these then go and sit down ok.”

“Yeah yeah Dr Nathe I'll just get my water” she opened the door and reached into the almost empty fridge and grabbed a bottle “and I'll be on my way,”


“I thought you'd finished?” Nathan asked a couple of minutes later seeing her with her laptop as he set her coffee beside her

“I have I'm just checking my emails.”

“Calsie!”

“It's ok look I'm using my left hand instead"

“Ok, I'm making pancakes do you want some?”

“Homemade or microwave.”

“Nathans homemade specials and I've even bought you blueberries for yours ”

“fresh?”

“Calsie would I ever buy you tinned?”

“In that case how can I resist, yes please.”

smiling as she listened to Nathan crashing around in the kitchen she closed her thinking about the craziness of the last few days since meeting Dave, she still couldn't understand why someone with a life like his would want to hang out with someone like her, but she had to admit she really enjoyed being around him.

“Here you are Geek?” Nathan paused and smiled as he saw that Callan had fallen asleep with her laptop still open on her lap. Placing the plate down on the table he gently took the laptop from her and looked at the two photos on the open screen, there was something vaguely familiar about the guy she was standing looking up at. See I told you you'd look good together, think about it, Claudine was the message underneath. Surprised by the stab of jealousy he felt at seeing her with someone, shrugging it off he quickly logged out of her account and shut it down before taking it back to her bedroom and putting it on charge for her, pulling her duvet from her bed he went back through to the lounge and covered her with it making sure she was comfortable and kissing her lightly on the head before picking up her plate and taking her pancakes back to the kitchen and placing them in the oven keep warm for later.


“Hey geek.” Nathan smiled looking up from one of the sketches he was working on as he heard her stir on the sofa “Feel better?”

“Mmm a little “she yawned and stretched shifting position on the sofa. “ Sorry I must have dozed off, did I sleep long?”

“About 3 hours or so.”

“What time is it?”

“Just coming up to ten, Do you want your pancakes I kept them warm for you”

“You did?” she smiled realising how hungry she actually was “Please and I'll promise not to fall asleep before I've eaten them this time.”

“Ok I'll get them oh and you might want to check your texts, your phones been going off all morning" he picked her phone off the side table and glanced at the screen before tossing it at her, “Whoever Dave is he must have it bad he's texted you 6 times already”


Quickly she flicked through them the first two from Dave wishing her good morning as usual and asking her if she was she coming over that morning. Two more from Rosie sent with Dave's phone during the school run she presumed one to good morning and the other that she'd got a test and would Callan wish her luck, the next a follow up to Claudine's email asking her if she'd come to an answer yet and would she like to come to the photo shoot that afternoon anyway regardless of her decision, and another from Dave jokingly asking her if she was awake yet seeing as she'd ignored his other messages, she was just opening the final one when Nathan came back in with her pancakes,

“So this Dave is he the reason we don't see you anymore?” he laughed looking over her shoulder and trying to read the text.

“Nosey” she chuckled shooing him away and taking the plate from him before pressing the open key on the phone.

“So is it, what does he say?”

“Nothing much" she answered scanning the text "just asking me if I want to go and see him at the photo shoot he's doing this afternoon.”

"Oh a model is he?”

“No a musician actually.” she looked at his expression “And no before you ask he's not my boyfriend.”

“Why not?”

“Because he's not looking for anyone at the moment he's just going through a divorce a the moment.”

“So was it that guy you we're with in the email.”

“You read my emails?”

“Calsie you know I'd never do that” Nathan looked at her hurt “Your laptop was open I saw them when I took it from you that's all, you must know I'd never do anything like that.”

“I know I'm sorry Nathe and I apologise for saying that, I know you wouldn't, I guess I'm tired and a bit off that's all.” she looked over at him “Sorry forgive me?”

“Of course geek so was that him?”

“yes that's the guy.”

“So come on then details now”

“There's nothing to tell he's 46 like I said getting divorced has 3 children...”

“Not those details silly I mean name and have I heard of his band do I know his stuff?.”

“Nathe” she shook her head and laughed “His names Dave he's in some band called Depeche Mode but he does solo stuff as well, his last album was called hourglass, not that I've heard any of it.”

“Dave what?” Nathan eyed her closely thinking hard

“Dave Gahan why?”

“Of course, I knew I recognised him from somewhere in those photos, my sister bought his album last year and I remember seeing a couple of interviews in the press for it.”

“Perhaps she can bring it with her next time she visits” Callan smiled. She checked her watch as she finished the last mouthful of pancakes.” Mmm they were absolutely gorgeous Nath. Thank you.” she got up of the sofa and kissed him on the cheek “You get the job of making breakfast every morning” she chuckled “Right I'm going for a shower I'll see you in a few minutes.”

“Why don't you use the bath in my bathroom instead? The heat will help your arm.”

“Could I? It's so long since I've actually had a bath.”

“Ha explains what the smell is then.”

“Idiot” she giggled throwing a cushion at him “Seriously though could I really use your bath? .”

“I said so didn't I? Go on”

“Thanks”

“Ok hon” he smiled back picking up his laptop

40 minutes later Callan came out of Nathans room and went back to her own, she sat down at her desk, lying next to her ipod was a note.

Hey geek seeing as you haven't heard any of your boyfriends stuff I've downloaded it for you, call it an early birthday present. It's all set up and ready to go just hit play.

Enjoy.

Nathe xx

Laughing softly to herself at his note she plugged her ipod into it's dock and pressed play, she recognised the first song from when she'd watched the little bit of video the previous week. Switching on her laptop she logged in to msn and almost immediately a window popped up

Jus...
Hey gorgeous... where have you been?

Cal...
Justine...muh how are you?

Jus...
Good, wondering where you were

Cal...
busy, had a paper to finish

Jus..
bummer

Cal...
I know tell me about it

Jus...
Hows New York then still loving being there?

Cal...
Amazing, you wouldn't believe it so many bridges to see

Jus...
ok ok don't go off on one lol and how's the gorgeous Nathan ?

Cal...
ok I guess I haven't seen much of him the past week or so

Jus..
oh yeah why?

Cal...
Busy studying

Jus...
Cal even you don't study that hard anyway you live together don't ?

Cal...
Erm no not exactly

Jus..
you know what I mean

Jus..
so why haven't you seen him?


Cal...
told you been busy studying

Jus..
Don't lie I can tell when you're lying even when I can't see you

Jus...
what's his name?

Callan laughed knowing where it was heading

Cal...
who's name?

Jus...
The guy who keeping you out of Nathes way

Cal...
I'm not seeing anyone

Jus...
liar

Cal...
I'm not Justine honest

she watched as the cursor blinked and could almost see Justine's face as she was thinking about her reply

Jus...
Mmm there's a guy involved though right?

Cal...
Maybe.....

Jus...
Calli just fucking tell me am I right?

Cal...
Yeah ok I met this guy

Jus...
I knew it I knew it.

Cal...
Don't get over excited it's nothing like that we're just friends ok

Jus..
why is he ugly or something?


Cal...
JUSTINE you can't go around saying things like that

Jus...
oh balls if he's good looking why aren't you fucking him senseless then?

Cal...
because he's not looking for anyone at the moment and I'm not like you and feel the need to shag anything with a pulse

Jus...
oh he's gay then

Cal...
JUS callan shook her head, you are impossible.

Cal...
No he's not gay, we're just friends that's all he's going through a divorce so he doesn't want to start all that dating stuff again.

Jus...
Mmm so he's been married then, any kids?

Cal...
Yes three, two boys and a girl

Jus...
whhooo he's been busy then, age?

Cal...
What the kids?

Jus...
No his duh brain, why the fuck would I want their ages?

Cal...
46

Jus...
fucking hell girl you're kidding me right? He's ancient

Cal...
No he's not and anyway he certainly doesn't look his age

Jus...
ok occupation?

Cal...
Musician

Jus
No way? Famous?

Cal...
I think so

Jus.
Calli how can you think so, he either is or he isn't?

Cal...
Well I don't really know his stuff but I know he's been in a band for years, but I don't remember hearing them.

Jus...
Ok name then maybe I've heard of him


Cal...
Dave Gahan

she looked the track listing whilst waiting for a reply, singing softly to the chorus of kingdom

Cal...
Jus you still there?

Cal...
Jus?

Jus..
Yeah I'm just laughing my ass off over your joke

Cal...
what joke?

Jus...
That your friend is in Dave Gahan

Cal...
He is

Jus...
Calli like I'm going to fall for that one.

Cal...
But he is

Jus...
yeah right and you're going to tell me Alan Wilder is staying with him

Cal...
Why would your gorgeous Alan be staying with him?

Jus...
Because he was in Depeche Mode with him that's why

Cal...
oh right

Jus...
So stop winding me up, Callan Victoria Lilly Grace Matthews

Cal...
Justine I promise you I'm not, you know I never lie.

Jus...
Prove it then

Cal...
How

Jus...
send me a photo of the two of you

Cal...
But that wouldn't prove anything other than I've met him would it?

Jus...
Haha I knew it, I knew you were lying

Cal...
I'm not hang on I'll send you something

Callan opened her email file and saved the photographs of her and Dave to her picture folder and then opened the file in messenger

Cal...
Justine accept it

Jus...
Ok is this the proof then? lol

Cal...
just open it you'll see


She watched as the transferring data bar counted down

Jus...
holy fuck.... that is him


Jus...
that is not just some fan photo is it?


Cal...
Uh huh

Cal...
I told you so, now do you believe me?

Jus...
“He touching you, his hands are on your shoulders what was he saying to you.?”

Cal...
“He was just asking if I was ok I think, I'm not quite sure

Jus...
How can you not be sure? I'd die if Alan or Dave touched me like that, hell even if they passed me in the street I'd probably faint.

Cal...
You! Never, you'd be more likely to snog his face off and pull him to the nearest restroom

Jus
True you know me too well

Cal...
So how come you never told me Alan was in DM before?

Jus...
Cause I don't like DM lol and you wouldn't know who they are anyway

Cal...
Ok got me there hey you should see all the Mom's at his daughters dance school throwing themselves at him,he's such a flirt.

Jus...
Make you jealous does it?

Cal...
“No, I mean yeah he's good looking and all that but I don't fancy him or anything, he's just a sweet guy who's fun to be around

Jus...
and you're really just friends nothing more?

Cal...
Strictly friends, we met in a diner of all places, I ended up taking him on a trip to the Empire State and it kind of went from there.

Jus...
And you're not sleeping with him?

Cal...
JUS I told you no it's not like that between us.

Jus...
Ok. I just needed to know how deep you're in with him that's all.

Callan frowned as a couple of minutes passed without Justine replying

Cal...
Jus?

Jus...
Give me a minute honey

Cal...
ok

Jus...
Calli don't go anywhere ok

Cal...
ok

Jus...
How much do you know about him?

Cal...
What do you mean?

Jus...
I mean his personal life

Cal...
Everything I think, I've been to his apartment I've met Rosie and Jimmy, I've been to the studio we've talked about stuff

Jus...
What about his past?

Cal...
Well we've spoken a little bit about him being in DM

Jus...
Anything else

Cal...
Like what?

Jus...
His problems in the past

Cal...
Oh you mean his drinking, yeah he's told me about it, we were both honest about that the day we met, he knows about the problem I have” Callan paused and rubbed the amethyst around her neck between her fingers “ Dave's helping me with it..”

Jus...
ok and the other stuff?

Cal...
I'm doing fine Jus don't worry I haven't had a drink since before well you know last time, it's hard but I'm doing really well.

Jus...
Calli honey that's good and I'm really proud of you, I'm just worried about you that's all but I didn't mean you I meant Dave.

Cal...
I don't understand what do you mean?

Jus...
I mean Dave what else did he tell you about what happened to him apart from the drinking.

Cal...
Just how much it pretty much destroyed his life and his relationship with his older son,

Jus...
Anything else

Cal...
We talked about when he was younger and he was always in trouble with the police

Justine looked at the screen then at the photo on her desk of her and Callan taken at Heathrow the day she left for New York, "I'm sorry baby but you need to know” she whispered taking a deep breath she typed a few words and hit send.

Jus...
Baby I hate telling you this and please don't hate me for it, but Dave's an ex junkie.

Cal...
No he's not

Jus...
Calli honey he is


Jus...
Calli you there still?

Cal...
No you've got it wrong there's no way he is, you haven't seen him or met him, he isn't a junkie

Jus...
Not now he isn't but a few years ago he was

Cal...
No you've got it wrong somehow, yeah he was an alcoholic I told you already he told me about it

Jus...
Calli how long have we been friends?

Cal...
I dunno since we were four or five I guess

Jus...
When have I ever lied to you?

Cal...
Never...

Jus...
Honey I love you and I'd never do anything to hurt you but I think you need to watch this.

Justine posted a link,

Cal...
What are you sending me?

Jus...
Just watch it paste it into your browser coz it'll take too long to send it to you.

Cal...
Ok

Callan pasted the url and watched as a youtube video opened. Shocked by Dave's appearance, skinny and long haired, goatee beard and tattooed, she studied his behaviour yes he was drunk but she couldn't see that he was using anything.... she closed the window after a few minutes and clicked back into messenger

Jus...
Did you watch it?

Cal...
Yes, he was drunk maybe but I don't see anything to say that he was high.

Jus...
Calli he was, let me find some press stuff.

After a couple of minutes another couple of addresses appeared

Jus...
Read these.

Callan loaded them and read the reports

Jus..
Did you read them?... her screen flashed as she clicked back in

Cal...
Yes, but they're not proof, Dave's already told me how he had trouble with the press and how they used to twist everything.

Jus...
Calli please

Cal...
No Jus he wouldn't hide anything like this from me I know he wouldn't, you haven't spent time with him, it's not true, I know it isn't, it's just some rumour the press started.

Justine looked at her watch and swore under her breath

Jus...
Calli honey I have to go, I've got a class, I know you don't believe me but there is no reason I would lie to you, I have a couple more links just look at them and don't dismiss what you read, I'll ring you when I get out this afternoon ok.

Cal...
Yeah ok Jus

Jus...
Love you

Cal...
yeah love you too

Callan sat looking at the screen for a few minutes, she knew that Justine would never lie to her but at the same time she couldn't believe that the stuff she'd read about Dave was true, surely she'd know if he used to be like that. She thought hard back to their conversation in the diner, what was it Dave had said something about how the press twisted and sensationalised stuff to get reader interest? That must have been what they'd done, dave would have told her if it was true anyway.

Reaching over to her ipod she turned it off before getting up and walking over to Anna's old battered CD/cassette player and hitting play. The hissing off the cassette compared to the quality of her ipod was somehow comforting as the first track from Anna's old compilation tape filled her room.

I'll have a shower
And then phone my brother up
Within the hour
I'll smash another cup
Please don't start saying that
Or I'll start believing you
If I start believing you
I'll know that this party fears two

Copyright MacKenzie/Rankine

"Anna what would you do?" She whispered to herself closing her eyes and picturing Anna's face in her mind.

“Calsie” she jumped at the sound of her name and the knock at the door “What, oh come in Nathe”

“Dave's on the phone for you.”

“Uh” she turned and looked up and saw Nathan standing behind her holding out her mobile

“You left it in the lounge.”

“Oh right.” she forced a smiled and took the phone from him

Are you ok?” he whispered “you look upset.”

“I'm fine,” she lied “Just missing home.”

“OK you know where I am if you want me”

“Thanks Nathe, Hi Dave”

“Hi stranger you ignoring me? You haven't answered my texts”

“Sorry I was going to and then I went on msn and got talking to Justine”

“Oh right I understand girly talk eh?”

“Something like that. So how are you?”

“Good, fancy coming and watching me do some work?”

“Oh the photoshoot.”

“Yeah so I wondered if you wanted to come and watch me make silly faces at he camera.”

“Sounds fun ok then” she answered needing to see him after the conversation she'd had with Justine

“Ok it's at.”

“It's ok I've already got the address.”

“You have?”

“Yeah Claudine emailed me this morning.”

“Claudine?”

“Yeah she..” she stopped suddenly not wanting Dave to know that Claudine had asked her to model with him “ erm she thought I might be interested that's all.”

“Ok then so I'll see you in a bit then.”

“Yeah I'll just get changed and I'll be over”

“Ok hon see you later.”

“Yeah see you later Dave”

Flipping her phone shut she looked at the screen at the news item she'd already read and then clicked back to msn refusing to believe that he'd ever been that way..

Quickly she typed back a message


Cal..
I still think you're wrong Jus, I just can't believe he was like that once, I'd know if he was.....

Next chapter

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