IX.

I’m still sitting on the couch – Dave’s head resting in my lap. Andy left the living room a little while ago – recognizing it would be best.
My fingers wander through his hair.
„I simply couldn’t stand the thought of him touching you. Drove me mad!“ He fixes my eyes again. „But you experienced yourself – good god, I can’t express how ashamed I feel now.“
„You can be an extremely passionate man – and in general I like that a lot.“
„I didn’t mean to scare you! Shite, I wish I took a bloody cold shower before coming here!“
He breathes softly against my right hand, caressing him.
„And I didn’t plan it – I mean, seeing you again. I thought I would get away with it – as usual.“
„Yeah, I thought so too, after you sent me to the guestroom that night. Was pretty obvious to me it’s just a one night stand – and I could have left it at that as you were so very nice and polite.“
„You have no idea how hard that was – letting you go after the bath – your skin so wet and soft. I had to tell me to switch back to ‚business as usual’ mode.“
„And now things are getting complicated. Last thing I want is to affect your family, I think I already made that clear that evening.“
„Yeah, you did and I told you it’s my responsibility. It still is – and I still want you so much!“
I close my eyes for a moment to let his words sink in.

„Dave – never, never ever try to take advantage of me again! If you’re really into playing out another of my fantasies – just ask me! It’s a matter of trust. You can’t expect me to live my novel kinda one to one! That’s why it’s called ‚fantasies’ – as in real life often there is no reasonable way to live that sort of emotions. And you should know that!“
He moves a little closer with his body now – very cautious.
„So why did you trust me with that lavender thing then?“
„Cause when I saw the box I knew nothing bad would be going to happen – and you very bluntly told me you wanted to try that scene with me. As easy as that! I’m only scared when you really lose control over yourself and your emotions – really scares the shit out off me if I don’t know what you’re after!“
He cups my face in his hands now.
„Would you give me another chance?“
„Dave – I’m hurt. It will take a while.“ I see the pain flickering in his eyes again. „But if it helps – I’m willing to think about it – seriously. And don’t you stalk me with whom of your pals I might have a fling! Next it might be Christian or Mart! Though I should give Andy his chance first – he already suffered enough.“
My sarcasm is back, a good sign. He recognizes that as well.
„I deserve no better, I know.“ His expression lightens up now. „But YOU deserve better. So if you have to get laid by Andy – so be it. But leave Chris or Mart out of it – or, hell – John! He still has that certain look in his eyes!“
„David, I don’t sleep around. And I don’t know why I should change that attitude. I’m still in awe you got me that bleeding easily. Gosh, now if that’s not another stroke for your already inflated ego!“
I pinch him into his cheek. He starts laughing loud but stops all of a sudden.
„You know, I’m really not much different to John who tried to have you in that elevator. And now I know how he must have felt in that moment – shite!“ He shakes his head in disbelief.
„And he still wants you for some business, he told me. You better stay away from him for a while.“
„Yes, he sent me a text message as well.“ I put a strand of hair back behind my left ear. „So I better stay away from you both for some time.“
There it is again – that begging look of his.
„Come on, that’s really not necessary – I mean we’re all grown up.“
Now I have to laugh out loud.
„Grown up – I should check that term in my dictionary again. Last time the meaning was slightly different opposed to my experiences.“ I still snicker. „You better start growing up fast, David Gahan! Or at least give that personality of yours more space.“
„You, you...!“
„Yes? I know I can be a naughty kid – and I suppose we all are kinda big kids still – yet it doesn’t work like this all the time – life’s a bitch, you know.“
„So can I tell John he just can fuck off?“
„Beware! Tell him I’m in for serious business – otherwise I will send him Fletch. You know how he is when he’s furious. I was pleasantly surprised about his recent outburst.“
Dave sighs. Then he gets up from the couch.
„OK – I will tell him. What shall I tell that David Gahan when I find him?“ He winks at me.
„Tell him to be patient and give him a kiss from me.“
„I shall kiss a guy?! NO way!“ Then he looks at me again with that boyish expression.
„So, damm – gimme that kiss that I can hand it over in case.“
I softly plant a kiss onto his forehead.
„Ah, come on – you can do better, pretty please!“
I lock my eyes with his and rest my forehead against his. I feel his arms gingerly closing around me.
„Please, angel!“, he whispers.

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