Chapter Twenty nine


Dave awoke suddenly pulled from his dreams by Callan moaning out loud.

“No please, don't please, David David.”

He reached over to her trying to put his arms around her as she tossed and turned muttering incoherently, trying hard to listen to the random snatches, trying to work out what she was dreaming about.

“Don't die on me please, don't you dare, don't.. don't”

“Sweetheart I'm here.”

“Dave, stay there, I can't get to you. Dave Dave no..don't ..” suddenly she screamed and her eyes flew open her body paralised for a few seconds.

“Baby I'm here” he soothed now slipping his arms around her trembling body and pulling her to him “I'm here, I've got you, I've got you.”

“Dave?”

“Yes I'm here”

She looked up to see his face and burst into huge sobs “Y..y..you're not d..d..dead?”

“No I'm here baby I've got you, you were dreaming again...It's okay it's okay”

“Dave it was horrible” she began through her tears “You were dying and I couldn't get to you, I could see you lying there but I couldn't reach you...I could see you weren't breathing and there was all this blood and I couldn't see where it was coming from.”

Dave froze for a few seconds as his mind flashed back, how did she know “Shush Calli it was a dream that's all, it wasn't real I'm not going anywhere.” Gently he began rocking her sinking his lips into her hair and inhaling her scent, “I'm here, you're okay.”

“I thought it was real, I could feel every movement” she began sobbing again.

“Tell me about it” he said gently as she calmed

“We were in some room, I don't know where... you'd tied me up... we'd been drinking and taking stuff I don't know what, you'd taken pills too I think, you we're holding stuff for me and I was smoking it.”

“Baby you know I'd never force you to do anything” Dave began feeling himself getting upset.

“I know you wouldn't and you didn't, we were both using, you weren't making me.... then.. then I saw you take something... I watched you as you....” she stopped and turned her head away “Sorry you don't need to hear this you don't need to be reminded.”

“No Callan tell me, I think it's part of your past manifesting itself, you've had a dreams like this before haven't you?.”

“How do you know?”

“The night I told you about my addictions, remember when I stopped over?”

She looked up and nodded

“You dreamed then, you dreamed of someone dying.”

“Did I?”

“Yes sweetheart, something happened to you didn't it baby?” He took a deep breath and looked at her “Callan did you use to be an addict too?”

“No” she answered softly “I've used yes but I wasn't an addict.”

“When?” he asked gently “Recently?”

“No not for a couple of years now” suddenly she panicked and reached out and took his hand “Dave it's not going to change anything between us is it? I mean I know I've taken stuff but I'm not using now I swear, I'm clean now.”

“Shush it's okay” he soothed "I believe you, I know you're not using,” he placed his fingers under her chin and pulled her face up to look at him “Baby I'd be able to tell and I can see you're not, I'm just wondering why someone like you would start.”

“Just experimenting at first I guess” she answered in a low voice “Just some coke now and again, weed, stuff like that”

“Not every day then?”

“No maybe a few times a week, Dave are things going to change?”

“No baby everythings staying exactly the same as it is now.” He said trying to reassure her “What about the Heroin sweetheart when did you start taking that” he asked softly suddenly unsure of where the words came from

“How do you know I'd taken that?, did Jus tell you.”

“Nobody told me darling I just knew somehow, so you took that too, yes?.”

“Just a few times and only...”

“Only what baby” he pushed gently sensing she was near to letting go

“Only cause I wanted to see how it would be to die like that.” suddenly she broke down and sobbed hard against his chest.

“Shush shush.. I've got you, you're safe,” He held her until she began to calm again wondering whether to push her that final bit more. “Tell me why “ he whispered “Why would you want to do that.”

“Because of Jamie...”

“Who's Jamie sweetheart?”

“He was my best friend and it killed him.” she managed between sobs

“What killed him?”

“Heroin, he overdosed on heroin....I... I....” she stopped as the tears became harder again

“Tell me about him baby.”

“No” she looked up at him her eyes wet from tears “No I can't.”

“Baby if you tried maybe it'd help you.”

“No not now, one day Dave but right now it's too painful..”

“Ok when you're ready, until then we'll take it at your own pace right.”

“Okay” She whispered “Will you hold me please David?”

“Of course I will sweetheart I won't let you go again tonight.”

“Thank you.” Slowly she turned onto her side facing away from him and David felt her hot tears falling onto his arm tracing a path down over his skin soaking the pillow beneath her. Unsure what to say to her he just held her stroking her back and neck gently with one hand as he buried his lips into her hair, murmuring softly trying to soothe her until eventually she finally cried herself to sleep. Satisfied that she was now aslep peacefully Dave kissed her shoulder gently before closing his own eyes.



Dave hurriedly grabbed the alarm as the beeper went off and switched it to the radio setting so it wouldn't disturb her too much, after the dreams and talking he wanted her to get as much rest as possible before she had to wake up.

Slipping his arms around as she began to stir he buried his lips into her hair the way he loved doing and just lay looking down and inhaling her scent at her as she settled again, lying watching her for awhile he suddenly became aware that he was softly singing the lyrics to the song on the radio to her, somehow the words seeming just right as he noticed a small smile on her lips as she slept.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

Spoiler! :

For some reason everytime I thought of this chapter this song came on the radio

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing

“Sweetheart?” he asked as she turned to face him opening her eyes and a slow smile appearing on her lips as she saw him looking down at her, "Are you okay?"

“Mmm yes” she whispered before her face began to cloud over as she remembered “Dave about last night?”

“Shush don't think about it, it's okay nothing has changed” he soothed sensing what was wrong,

“But.. but.. can you really still be around me?”

“Of course I can, you don't use anymore do you?”

“No, I'm never going down that path again, I know how easily it is to get sucked in, for it to be the only thing in your life, I've seen that happen, I know how it feels to watch someone be destroyed by it, I'm just scared David scared you'll think differently of me now that you know.”

“Sweetheart I don't, I'm glad you've told me, I kind of knew something was there somehow. If anything it'll bring us closer, you and me we understand each other, we've both been through it, we know how the other one feels, but look at us we're both out the other side, we both came through.”

“Honestly so nothing will change?”

“Honestly Calli I swear, these last few days have been the happiest I've had for a long time and it's you who has made them like that.” He gently placed his lips against hers. “Thank you baby.”

“Thank you for what?”

“Showing me that's it's okay to do this all again, I've fuc...stuffed up every relationship I've had somehow, the last thing I was expecting was to find someone that made me feel like this again, someone I wanted to be with."

"I make you feel like that?" she asked

"Yes baby you do."


 

Part 2

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