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Chapter 19

But Dave didn’t care in which condition Mart was, he was on his side – as he had been in the last few years, trying to support him. He took out two clean towels from a drawer and wet them before kneeling behind his mate. He put his hand gently on Mart’s back, waiting for the convulsive strain to ease up in him. When Mart gave out everything he had in his stomach, Dave carefully wiped off the blood from his face and lips then put the other clean towel onto his forehead, because he felt how warm it was from the alcohol and the strain. Finally he nuzzled up to him, embracing him from the back, as if he never wanted letting him go.

After flushing the toilet and his face felt a bit refreshed too from the now so soft touches, he let out a long sigh and rested his head on his forearm, sitting back on his heels as he was still kneeling in front of the ‘porcelain throne’, Dave nuzzled to his back. He tried to calm down his breathing and cleared his throat a few times because of the memory of the bitter taste. He felt himself dirty, broken and worn-out. He just wanted to clean his teeth, take a painkiller after a nice shower and slide under the cover with Dave so he could hide from the world and himself.

He lifted his head and stroked along the warm forearm, which was embracing him. With this he signaled Dave to let him go. His first aim was the toothbrush and the toothpaste to try and ease the disgust he felt towards himself. His head – despite the throbbing – got clearer now that he emptied the contents of his stomach. He carefully stood up, pushing the silent singer’s hand gently away – slightly squeezing it before letting it go – and he shuffled to the washbasin. When he was in front of it full in the nude, he didn’t look up at his face just reached for the toothbrush and paste and started washing his teeth with nearly maniac moves to get rid off the bitter taste in his mouth – which maybe wasn’t mostly the aftertaste of the vomiting but of the hopeless situation.

Dave remained sitting on the cold tiles. His mind knew that he should go now, but he wasn’t able to move, he was just drinking in Martin’s sight as if this was the first time he saw him since a long time ago.

He forced himself to stop washing his teeth. As he wiped his mouth with a towel, the wound on it opened again. As a red blood drop landed on the white porcelain he thought it was time to face himself… He slowly lifted his head and couldn’t stop a hiss from the sight. He’ll need a lot of make up to cover this…

“I’m sorry” the singer said “I was simply insanely mad at you.”

Mart just sighed and shook his head, showing him that he understands then he reached for some disinfectant just to flinch from the burning it caused in his wounds. But that pain was nothing compared the one he felt lately.

“Hm… at least you didn’t break my nose” his mouth curled up in a bitter smile, but he was careful not to let his wound open on it again. A bad black-eye was already visible under one of his eyes – the skin already swelling up – and he fixed his brow with two small plasters. A few purple bruises showed up on his cheekbones, swollen nose and chin, just like on his neck and shoulders, where Dave’s ring hurt his skin.

The singer stood up and joined Mart’s reflection in the mirror as he stepped behind him. He couldn’t stop himself, he had to stroke the naked butt. He terribly missed the warmth of his skin, their soft lovemakings, the feral sex, or just lying next to Mart, felling asleep together and waking up next to him.

The owner of the messy blonde hair closed his eyes for a moment as his whole body shivered from the delicate touch. He lifted his sad green eyes on Dave through the mirror. He nearly died too from being stuck in this situation and from the fact that they can’t move on.

“I… miss you… so much…” Dave faltered out with a whisper and from the inside pain he had to squeeze his eyes shut.

Mart swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat stayed.

“If… if I could make a deal… with anyone to stay with you… I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment… you know it, don’t you?” Mart whispered, watching him through the mirror as Dave leant closer to him.

This sentence hit him hard and he had to pull Curly close to him, burying his face into his neck. He wasn’t far from getting weak again, letting the tears fall again. But he didn’t want to cry. It would be a useless thing to do. Martin slowly took his face between his hands and looked into the nearly begging eyes. He had no heart to deny himself from Dave… and he wouldn’t be able to do so anyway. He carefully leant to the slightly open mouth, panting onto Dave’s lips before giving him a wobbly short kiss. Dave needed just this to get lost. He started kissing the man in front of him with mad passion, suppressed lust and pain, as if he was afraid of dying in the moment when they separate them again.

Martin’s whole naked body shook from the kiss and his skin broke out in goose bumps. He wanted this for so long! He could feel it such a long time ago! He greedily drank in Dave and everything his being could give him. Nothing else mattered for him now, just the man standing in front of him and his hungry lips and tongue. He felt that the hole in his heart finally got something to eat and from this his chained other self was purring coaxingly in the back of his mind. But now he didn’t care. He just concentrated on Dave and the long, longing and hungry kiss.

It was as if Dave woke up from a long and tiring dream, that he was alive and whole again, capable for everything. His hands wandered on Mart greedily – they wanted to discover every part of him again – because they could finally touch the admired body again. The singer wasn’t able to feel anything else than his burning love, which exploded inside of him after the long suppression. He could pull away from his lips just after long minutes to look into the piercing green eyes, wishing desperately not to leave him again.

The light-green eyes’ owner shook from this look. He just wanted to give himself to Dave, letting him do whatever he wanted to do to him. He knew that he wasn’t allowed, but still… He just couldn’t throw him out of his room now. But both of them knew that if they gave in to their desires and burning love, that won’t last forever. He cleared his throat.

“This night? Just ours?” he panted unsure and from his words it became clear that he meant that they had just this night left. Their last night together.

The asked man nearly died from knowing this, but nodded. It was already much more than he dared to expect. Before Dave could lean forward again to kiss him, Mart put his hand on his chest to stop him.

“Wait… first I want to wash them down… so I can be just yours… completely…” he whispered quietly.

Dave just nodded then turned away and walked out of the bathroom to melt into the darkness one more time, where he not long ago was stalking Martin to draw his blood in his anger. It was strange, but he felt a bit nervous. So many things had happened… they lived through so much pain… he was scared that they’ll get hurt again and that this will hurt even more than the first time.

Martin stepped under the shower without saying anything. For a few minutes he just let the water wash his stinging body and gave out a long sigh as he tried to get rid off the lump in his throat, which barely let him breathe. The pressure in his chest eased up just a little bit, but his stomach flipped as it came into his mind that maybe they were preparing for their last encounter. From this thought he hastily started scrubbing himself so he could be with Dave sooner – he didn’t want to waste any valuable minutes. After a little time he headed for the door nearly fully dried and refreshed. Now he didn’t bother putting on any clothes – it would have been useless anyway.

Dave was staring out of the window, watching the night-time city. The faint light which got into the room was enough to softly give out the outlines of the thin body. The brunette man was clearly lost in thoughts, he was just looking through the glass, but didn’t even see the streets and the rarely passing cars or the few loafing souls who were still out there.

Martin stopped quietly in the door and just watched the man with folded arms for a few minutes. The well-known warmth filled his heart. He always felt it when he looked at him – and if he let this feeling prevail over him. He stepped inaudibly to the room, letting the bathroom’s door open. The light seeped into the bedroom from behind his back, making a soft half-light in the room. He knew that Dave heard him approaching, but he didn’t mind. He glimpsed at the bed – the sheets had been changed. It was waiting for them. As he stepped next to Dave, he turned him towards him and caressed his face with a faint smile. He loved him so much! He started unbuttoning the bloody, simple dark shirt without a word. He felt himself as if they were preparing a devout ritual. Their last sacrifice on the altar of love?

Dave’s muscles tensed as he let Mart do so. Though his mind wanted more and more, he pulled himself back, didn’t let his desires go yet, which had been tied up for a long time and now they were tugging on their shackles madly. He slid his slightly shaking hand onto Martin’s face just to feel the warmth of his skin.

His love closed his eyes for a moment from the soft touch and he didn’t care that it hurt from the bruises. Nothing else mattered to him just being with Dave, just feeling him… He finished unbuttoning the shirt and he stroked it down immediately from its owner. Now he didn’t see how thin he became, he saw just the beauty of the revealed chest. He ran his fingertips gently around the dark tattoos, as if he wanted to burn them even more into his brain. Then he ran his fingers down on Dave’s side, the line of his pelvis, until they reached the buckle of his belt and they undid it. During all this he didn’t let the singer’s gaze go.

Dave got lost in the green eyes completely. His hands slid down onto the delicate neck then further down onto his chest to feel the heart beating under his palm.

“It’s beating just for you…” Mart whispered barely audible, getting rid off all of his inhibitions, doubts and chains, in the same way he stroked down the last piece of cloth from Dave. They were standing there naked. Both physically and spiritually. The air was smoldering between and around them from the warmth of the love they felt for each other, which they released for a last time.

“It’s match too. You took it away, but I gave it to you willingly” he answered with star-like shining in his eyes “But…” he went silent for a moment “I die without my heart” his gaze became begging, lost, like someone’s who was left alone in the dark.

“Oh god… David!” he exclaimed, swallowing his tears back and without thinking he hugged him tightly, burying his face into the fragrant neck. He couldn’t take it! He just couldn’t take it!

Dave embraced Mart’s back and pressed his body to his, as if he never wanted to let him go. And he never wanted to do so. Ever. Mart didn’t want to make things harder for Dave, so he didn’t tell him the lengthy confession about how much he loved him and no matter what’ll happen, this won’t change. Maybe once he’ll write a song about it and will send it to him. But now he could just falter out – moved by his emotions – that “I’ll love you until my last breath…” and before his love could say anything, he pressed his lips against Dave’s.

Dave returned the soft kisses again, his long fingers wandered on his blonde mate’s body as slowly – next to love – the lust started awakening inside of him too. Mart reached for Dave more greedily as his hunger grew. He nuzzled under Dave’s touches with his shaking body and he didn’t break their kiss while one of his hands slid down from Dave’s stomach to his groin, starting caressing him tenderly. Dave growled from the touch as the stimulus shot through his body. His fingers dug into the blonde curls as he started to want more. Martin moaned into the kiss faintly then he pulled away from Dave’s mouth and slowly kissed and bit along his neck and chest, until he was kneeling in front of him. He wanted to taste him immediately! And he did it – so wholeheartedly as if he was doing it for the first time.

Dave moaned onto the ceiling then not moving his head he said: “You haunted me in my dreams…”

“Tell me about it…” he asked quietly after sliding him out of his mouth for a moment then he sensually licked along one of his balls and started sucking on it, getting lost in his job.

“I often re-dreamed our encounters or that we are still happy…” another moan escaped him “Waking up was the worst! I was looking for you, but you weren’t there.”

“As you weren’t there for me either…” he whispered and straightened up with sad eyes, knowing that after this night he won’t be there ever again. He stroked Dave’s shoulder then looked into his eyes, whispering onto his lips: “I want to give myself to you.”

Dave claimed another kiss for himself while they started stepping towards the bed then he simply pushed Martin down on it, pulling away from him, and kneeled down in front of the sitting man, taking his already rock-hard member greedily between his lips. It was a divine feeling, he missed this taste on his tongue!

He propped himself on his elbows and moaned upwards then looked down at the man between his tights again, who was sucking on him. He could have never thought that things would turn out this way. He thought that Dave will fulfill his demand right away, but he wasn’t complaining. His heart sped up and he groaned and groaned again and again.

Dave busied himself with the throbbing hardness in his mouth, but he wanted to feel his nearly ex-lover around him, so he propped himself on Mart’s thighs and straightened up to steal a few more kisses from him. He put his hands onto his shoulders and pushed him down onto the sheets. In the very minute the blonde man laid flat, Dave crawled over him and pampered his chest and neck, going upwards to his ear and whispered into it: “I want you… Turn around!”

He obeyed without a word and got on all fours. He couldn’t believe how different the situation was than an hour before when Dave wanted to beat him to death… Now he rather wanted to fuck him to death…

First Dave kissed his shoulder and neck, went on along his spine where he bit the sensitive skin then he returned to his neck and carefully started penetrating into the tight and missed hotness. Martin whined from the sweet pain and the wild pleasure he felt.

“Oh god… how I missed you from inside of me!!”

The man didn’t answer – the feeling that he can be finally free blew his mind off – finally he can satisfy his hungry body and soul, finally he can shake his chains off, even if just for one night. He took a deep breath then started his sweet attack.

Martin gave out a throaty groan with every push, sinking deeper and deeper into the sea of pleasures. The burning fire flooded his body and salty sweat drops started to form on his warm skin. He loved the feeling beyond words as Dave filled him completely, as he was holding his waist and moaned behind him. His nails dug into the mattress from the pleasure he felt and he bent a bit forward to give better access to his love. He had to take a glimpse over his shoulder to see his reaction.

Dave grabbed the opportunity like a hungry predator would go for its prey. He sped up and moaned loudly as his fingers dug into the skin of Mart’s waist. His lover watched him, his face flushed, and to intensify Dave’s pleasure, he started playing on him with his inner muscles, forgetting his own desires. In exchange suddenly Dave reached forward and grabbed Mart’s cock, which was still wet from his previous sucking. He squeezed him firmly and started pumping it.

The man under him cried out loud. He went nuts for this man! He would have given up his soul for him! And now he was grateful for the attention Dave paid on him. After a few moves he couldn’t hold it back: he exploded onto his love’s hand and the sheet, knowing well that the contracting of his muscles forced Dave to stop.

“I’m… I’m sorry!” he faltered out panting.

But Dave just laughed and went on until his constant moaning ended up in a big one and his body tensed as he let his pain go, nearly forgetting completely forgetting it. Mart gave out a long growl-like moan from the feeling of the hot fluids inside his body. He was still panting as he let Dave slide out and collapse on him. He loved the weight of his body on himself. Dave’s lips found the soft neck and shoulders again as he showered them with his kisses. He loved Mart so much! His mate was breathing confidently under him, looking at the pillow next to him, but he didn’t really see it, he was just drinking in the warmth of Dave’s sweaty body, his touches and his presence. He could have died in that moment.

After a little while Dave rolled next to Mart and nestled himself between the toned arms. Mart hugged him tightly. Now everything seemed so good and simple. As if everything was alright and nothing bad would threat them, as if they could be together forever. Martin wanted to give himself completely to this feeling, forgetting the worry and the pain he felt. He wanted to believe this fake safety.

“You won’t kick me out until morning, will you?” Dave asked with a smile, but it was clear from his eyes that he was afraid that maybe Mart will push him away, knowing that they aren’t one anymore.

“Not for all the money in the world” he looked deep into the singer’s eyes, caressing his face with his fingertips.

Dave put his head back onto the warm chest “I don’t want to go away from here - ever.”

“I don’t want to let you go – ever.”

Dave smiled then felt his eyelids getting heavier. He used up a lot of his energies during this night – especially emotionally. He still tried to fight with the sandman, but finally gave up.

“I won’t let you rest for too long…” he whispered onto Dave’s forehead and kissed it then he leant his chin against the top of the singer’s head, pulling him even closer, and letting two silvery tear drops run into the dark hair.

---

He hasn’t slept at all. He wasn’t able. Since Jen had parted them he had trouble with sleeping anyway. It seemed that it came just when he knocked himself out with the booze or his actual one-night-stands wore him out to death. He wasn’t sleepy now, just a nice tiredness and calmness fell onto his exhausted body. Although Dave was sleeping on his chest like a little boy, finally he could breathe freely. And he wanted to take and store as many deep breaths as possible, because he knew – he felt it – that he’ll have to keep body and soul together with these in his oncoming dark years, when he’ll sit alone in a room, writing dozens of songs for his long lost and robbed love, who’ll be far away from him by that time.

But now he didn’t want to let these dark thoughts flood his mind. Now he wanted to enjoy the night and being with Dave until he can. Maybe a little bit more than an hour had passed since the exhausted man fell asleep on him. Mart suspected that since a long time this was the first time when he could sleep calmly, letting his heartbeats leading Dave on the path of his dreams. He knew that Dave wasn’t a good sleeper – he couldn’t sleep for more than two or three hours, just in case he was very tired. But even then he woke with a start, chased by his nightmares. This was like this since long-long years. His monsters were sometimes still chasing him in his dreams. But he said that when he was with Martin, these troubled dreams came rarely. Mart really wanted to let him rest, but he couldn’t wait anymore. The longer he watched the sleeping beauty on his chest, the more the sight enchanted him and felt the growing desire inside. He couldn’t get enough of him. And he won’t ever.

He started gently caressing Dave’s sensitive spine with his fingertips then ran them on every single muscle, drawing the complicated swirling lines of his back-tattoo from his mind. With his other hand he dug into the dark – somewhere already grey – hair, just to start to tickle the sensitive skin behind his ear with feather-light touches. Dave growled, moved a bit, but he didn’t wake up from his sweet dream. Now Mart began to use his nails on his lover’s back, which was warm from the sleep, digging them deeper and deeper into the soft skin with every move. If he was able to do it, he would have scratched the nice-shaped hard butt too, but in this position he could reach down just to the sensible waist.

Dave slowly opened his eyes and yawned before turning to Mart with a smile “What a wake up…” he murmured.

“You don’t like it?” he smiled down at him.

“I didn’t say that!” he laughed “I love it when you’re pampering me.”

“It’s mutual…” he noted on his unusually deep tone and went on with the tender scratches on Dave’s waist. In the bathroom’s light Mart’s eyes turned suddenly darker. “I hope you don’t mind that I woke you up, thanks to my desire…” he added and his sentence sounded like a question and a statement in the same time. He felt as his groin started getting hot even just from looking into the lazily shining eyes.

“No, not at all. What do you plan with me?” a pervert and dark smile appeared on Dave’s face.

“Maybe it won’t be a surprise if I say that I’ll make you mine… In the way you like it too… Passionately… without borders… completely giving myself to my pleasures… Hm… what do you say? Do you want me to fuck you like this?” he switched to dirty talk at the end.

“Yes!” the green eyes sparkled.

“Then turn onto your stomach next to me, my sweet!” came the playful, but dirtily dark demand.

Dave did what he was told and laid flat on his tummy there. Martin let his eyes wander on the naked and tattooed body with pleasure. He kneeled next to Dave and ran his index-finger very slowly along the perfect skin, barely touching it. He already knew that he’ll drive his lover crazy and will give such pleasures to him, which he’ll never forget, which he can take with himself wherever he’ll go in the future. In the next moment he was already over Dave, and he comfortable sat down onto the singer’s thighs to start his refined torture. He let his hands go up on Dave’s back with a satisfied smile and began giving a little massage to the slightly tense shoulders.

Dave growled contentedly. This little pampering felt so good to him, because lately no one attended to him. As a turn Mart dug his nails into the flushed skin and scratched along the singer’s back. Mart knew how much the singer liked pain during sex. Dave arched his back to feel the pain more intensely. Suddenly his torturer leant forward and bit his shoulder hard, just to repeat it a bit lower right away. Dave couldn’t suppress his yell, but he didn’t mind – he wanted more, he wanted everything from Mart.

The blonde man finished off his back methodically, just to lick into the bite marks or kiss the line of his spine. Without any warning he let his rapidly hardening cock glide between Dave’s buttocks, but hearing the longing moan he pulled away and moving down he bit into the taut ass hard. He knew that this’ll leave a mark and this contented him.

Dave’s yell ended up in a laugh. In his impatience he started to move. Mart grinned, but to stop Dave’s laugh he opened the singer’s legs slightly apart and stroked along his testicles, just to find his piercing right away – pulling on it warningly. The man under him tamed down immediately, but under the surface his emotions were still swirling.

His torturer licked the edge of his mouth contentedly, just to lean down and start licking the previously stroked area. To season the pampering, a few times he suddenly bit into the sensitive inner thighs then dug his tongue back into the ring, turning on his love even more. Dave couldn’t stop his deep growl-like moans as he grabbed the sheet and his back tensed. This blonde man drove him crazy!

Mart got lost more and more in pampering him and slowly he started losing his connection with the outside world too. With a soft smack he let one of Dave’s balls go, which he was sucking on then straightened up, stroking along his thighs, commanding him on a husky tone: “Kneel up… Now!”

Dave propped himself on his shaking hands and slowly got on all fours. He let his head dangle deep and waited Mart to go on with closed eyes. But his lover didn’t move. Martin sat back onto his heels, feasting his eyes with Dave’s exposed body in front of him, moving his hand on his own cock. He just wanted to jump on him right now, but he wanted to torture the singer a bit more, who peeked at him over his shoulder. He could see the slight confusion on his face.

“Turn back and wait!” he barked, moving just with his hand as he smacked Dave’s butt, hitting him willingly on his bite mark.

The brunette hissed, but returned to his former position. He was waiting as he was told.

Next chapter

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