In the Dead of Night [Mart/Dave, SLASH, NC-17, dark, romance]
Useless-girl 2010.09.06. 18:58
My entry to the "Martin 49th birthday" contest on the MYM forum...
Note: This is my entry to the “Martin’s 49th birthday” contest on MYM.
Category: NC-17 / Slash / romance / dark (“The Wet Dream” contest category)
Characters: Martin L. Gore and Dave Gahan
Recommended song: Depeche Mode – In your room (album version)
In the Dead of Night
Those long bony fingers are sliding on my body again. I have to close my eyes and sigh when goose bumps appear on my skin from the delicate touches. Every inch of my skin is screaming for getting his attention. It’s Heaven on Earth. My dark-haired lover does miracles with me. I just need his touch to feel myself in another world. In the world of raw passion, instincts – without the shackles that bound us into this material world.
I cry out as those soft swollen lips close around my throbbing hardness. That deep throat… Oh god, I have to grab the sheet from the feeling. I’m getting close so fuckin’ quickly it hurts! I’m listening to the little sucking noises coming from below as I lay on the creased linen. They drive me even crazier for you. You definitely have some skills in this field…
You move faster and I pant louder…
You prepare your mouth and ask me to give you your reward that you were working for… And I cannot deny it from you. I look into your dark, glowing eyes and cry out loud as I come between your adored lips…
...
I wake with a start. I’m confused about my whereabouts. I’m sweaty all over, the bed sheet sticks to my body and the next thing I realize is that my still throbbing cock released onto my tummy. I sigh and look around. No one is around, just the soft summer breeze moves the light curtains.
Oh god, what a hell of a dream! I shake my head and reach for a tissue to clear myself. For a moment I can smell your beloved scent and feel your wet tongue on my body, but as I open my eyes, the trick is over. The feeling fades and I’m left alone again.
You’re gone. I know it. I don’t have to check the other rooms. I just simply can’t feel your presence. You used me again, but I don’t mind. I’m grateful for every morsel of your attention. You’re gorgeous, David. And I don’t think I’d be able to live for long without your touches. Maybe I’ll see things from a different angle in the future, but now all I have is you. Even if this confuses me. I cannot really handle the situation, but I need you. More than air.
I lay back for a few more minutes in the half-light and watch the lamps of a passing car causing strange shadows on the walls. Of course you’re on my mind. Where are you now? Why did you run off without a word? Did I say something wrong? Or you just need your next fix? Yes, I know you’re using. I can see it in your eyes and the way you act is telltale. But I cannot say a word. I’m no better either…
Maybe it was really me. I know that you’re so fuckin’ sensitive. You want this to work between us. We’ve been together again for a while. It seems we’re too bound together to live without each other. I cannot say what’s this feeling inside me, but deep in my core I know that I’m right. We belong together, but I still can’t fully accept this. You’d give up everything to live with me. Your second marriage with Theresa, for example. And many other things. But I’m not sure I want this. You confuse me. I see how badly you need my love. But I simply can’t open up as easily as you do. You’re more like a lovesick crazy cat. Or woman. You rely on your feelings and sometimes act without thinking. I’m a more rational type. I can see the consequences, I can see where this relationship between us can lead. And I’m scared. Yes. I never told you this, but I’m so fuckin’ scared that something’ll come up. That I’ll screw it up. I so want to let all of my fears go and give myself to you completely, but trust is a fragile thing, David. And you know that very well. We’ve seen this before. I don’t think I’d survive those horrible times again… when you played with me and left me there bleeding from dozens of wounds. My heart and soul still have those scars. Maybe time can heal them, but the mind won’t forget. I think I’m a masochist for letting you back in my life. Do you think we’re addicted to each other? I think we are.
I sigh and crawl off the bed. I need a drink. After a few minutes I sit down naked to the piano and open a bottle of wine or something. I don’t really care. This is the last bottle which has survived my last ‘private party’. I can feel it coming… the mood… that special mood I need to get in when I write those songs for you… I know you know which ones were written for you and about our relationship. I can tell it even from the way you sing them on stage. Your voice gets different. Richer, you put more emotion into the lines and your whole body seems to shake in the attempt to perform them perfectly. And you do that. Even if you’re not sure about it and you shyly note after the show that you could have done it better… they’re always perfect for me. I love you, David. Even if I don’t say it out loud so often. You know me. I hope you does. I want you to accept my nature, to have more patience with me. I know you’re like fire and I’m like ice and when we’re together the steam converge into sweat on our perfectly moving shaking bodies… Oh god, I need you to be here with me on this dead hour when just the crickets can be heard. I want you to be on my side. I know you would want the same, but you’re not here…
I put down the bottle and listen inwards. Some nice melody comes into my head and I grab the empty sheet music and a pen. It’s as if I am in a trance. The paper drinks in the black ink thirstily and I just write and write the music notes. I don’t think, just work and the next time I look up, there are papers lying around me. They are full of my notes. A complete song. A next hit. I can feel it. I can already hear the additional instruments and the singing fans in my head. I glimpse down on the sheets and extend my hands to touch the piano’s keys, softly. First I’m a bit unsure how to do this, but then I let my doubts go and just flow with the music. It builds up slowly and I have to sing… I just open my mouth and the words just roll off my lips. They burn themselves into me, and I know I’ll never forget them. This song is like a love act as it builds up, as takes more emotions into it, as it gets so dark and sweaty and… desperate from the delicate tension…
Yes, this is it. Another song for you, my love. And you’ll sing it on the next album. I want this there. I’m closing to its end, my fingers are sliding on the pale piano keys, which are lit only by a single candle. I can hear the sky rumbling outside. Soon it’ll pour with rain. But I don’t care – it just gives to the emotional landslide I’m having inside. My soul shakes into it as the well-known sounds of my piano cut into the half-light. I can feel your presence. You’re always in me and sometimes I feel like my soul would disappear completely if I gave in to you…
The cooler breeze brings your scent to me. I can nearly feel your skin on mine… As I play the closing of the song, my emotions wash over me. My eyes are burning, but I don’t want to let more tears fall tonight. Not now. Not this time…
Suddenly I know that you’re back. I turn around and I see you standing in the door. Your black leather jacket and hair is soaking wet from the rain and you’re just staring at me with your dangerously shining black eyes. I can never be really sure what they’ll give me: pain or pleasure. Or both. The look on your face makes my heart jump. You look like a cat dragged in from the rain and you’re beautiful. I don’t know how long have you been standing there, but I don’t really care.
“Martin…” you say only this word with so much emotion that I feel blessed again.
The stormy wind which enters the room with a sudden rush picks up a paper from the floor and it lands in front of your muddy boots. You lean down and pick it up. I can see the light flicker in your eyes as you read the first lines…
“In your room
Where time stands still…”
And we freeze into the moment. Together.
By: Useless-girl
06/09/2010
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Oh god oh god oh god!! Ifound it! I remember i\\\'ve read this story a couple of years ago and loved it! Somehow i did lost a track of it, but believe me i\\\'m SOOOO glad i\\\'ve got a chance to read it again.
I like how you described what happens in Martin\\\'s head, his motivations and thoughts. I think it\\\'s very close to what really was on his mind, you\\\'ve catched his nature here very well!
Thank you for this fic! :D
Thank you for your feedback and I'm happy you managed to find the story after such a long time! Hope you'll read some further interesting fanfictions on the site :)
Usi