Bright lights and black holes
By Useless-girl

I have to write out the last few days' happenings from my system, or else I'll explode...

After coming home from Szeged on Monday, the next day I headed to Tatabánya, where we were preparing at Edó's place for the long-awaited Placebo concert. This meant going through Edó's wardrobe and painting a banner :D First we wanted to make a T-shirt with the text "Brian, be our nancy boy" (which was my idea), but we couldn't do that, so around Tuesday midnight I started to draw the outlines of the text - of course I ruined the first version XD But the second one turned out well and Edó helped me with the painting part. I didn't know where my mind was by then and a good example for that was that first we started painting the wrong version and after that I used the wrong color XD But after this little mistake we were ready with it within an hour or so and we carefully put it down and let it dry.

Next morning at 7 am my "I know" ringtone woke me up on the red IKEA couch, which I fell in love with. XD After having breakfast and getting ready we were soon on our way to Budapest, thanks to Valics, who took us to the train station. As we neared to Pest, waves of excitement came over me time after time, but I calmed down a bit when we got to the Papp László Sports Arena - our old friend - and saw that around 2 pm just 8-10 fans - mainly from abroad - were there. We killed time with chatting, sunbathing or listening to music. This didn't change too much for the next few hours. Slowly the fans showed up and Lola and Angie arrived too. After some waiting, shots and search for a toilet we filtered in to the gates. Angie and Lola decided to try the other gate. A guy told us that they'll open them just around 7 pm, so slowly the tension and excitement could be felt on everyone more and more. Luckily, there weren't too many people and when we could finally get through the gates and the checkpoints, we started running (down on stairs, passing other people, as if our lives depended on it). Once I nearly got lost, but then I found the right way and in the moment I spotted Edó and Angie in the first row, I ran to them. I couldn't believe it! We were in the first row!!! (Well okay, let's say that I was between the first and second row, cuz I was holding the cordon with my left hand and I was a bit sideways.)

After we could breathe again, we let the excitement wash over us, thinking that we'll see the guys from this close. After finding our places and ignoring some not-so-nice girls from Slovakia, the supporting act (EZ Basic) started their half an hour show. Every friend of mine - including me - liked their music very much and they won "the best supporting act of the year" award from us! :)

And finally after another 30 minutes of packing the lights went out around 9 pm and the intro has started. The picture of the well-known eclipse on the "Battle for the sun" album cover showed up on the projectors, and we forgot that until that moment we couldn't feel our tired legs and the few thousand people who showed up that night yelled in union...

We were still after the supporting act when we had the chance to see the back of the set list and we could figure out that the guys'll start with "Nancy boy" - we REALLY badly wanted this with Edó, so our kinky little banner was ready on the cordon! :P (And some guy in front of the stage stopped and took a picture of it, too XD)

Edó, Angie and me after the concert

So my pulse was very high when first Steve, Stef and the session musicians came on stage and soon Brian joined them too. Well, I don't want to gush too much, but it was unbelievable to see him from this close. His presence nearly swept me away! I knew that it'll be like this, but it still finished me totally! At the very beginning we could get a dirty move from him as he slowly stroked along Stef's chest and tummy while Stef was playing on his guitar... Uhm, maybe I don't have to tell that we screamed like mad... XD

To tell the truth, for me the whole concert "converged" from the rave I've got into in the first few minutes. But don't get me wrong, it was good! This way the performance I could see was whole for me. I jumped and enjoyed myself when I could move from the pressure of the crowd. :P But despite this, I try to pick out the most important moments for me.

"Battle for the sun". As soon as it started, I've got goose bumps all over and the screaming and jumping went on... It was the first time when I could hear how solid the fans’ chanting was - I love such moments! And Edó even noticed that during singing Brian waved towards four young VIP chicks, who decided to stay in front of the stage after taking some photos at the beginning of the concert. So he sent someone to send the chicks out. :D This was a really sympathetic move from him - and not the last one for that night :P (Later, for example he put a guy in his place with "cutting his neck" when he tried to get into the first row between two girls - or at least Edó said that it happened because of this.)

For me the next catharsis was "Special needs". That song has a special place in my heart, so it was a big gift for me that I could finally hear it live! It was beautiful, but of course I was on emotional overload again, so I couldn't cry - like I usually couldn't do that on DM concerts either. The next song, "Breathe underwater" was a superb choice again, because that's my fav song from "Battle for the sun". Before starting the song, Brian drew the attention on the different banners in the first row (e.g. one greeted the band in Hungary and he noted that he knows which country he was in XD) - huh huh huh, somehow he didn't read out loud our banner XDDDDD The song itself was awesome, of course, and it seemed that I forgot to take my meds, because I was raging like mad after we looked at each other with Angie (this is one of her favs from the actual album as well). My favorite part was when we chanted the word "break" louder and more and more desperately with Brian!

After "Bright lights", which is one of my biggest favs, came the amazing "Meds". The beginning was the slow Angkor Wat version (uhm... I think on this video I can hear myself, cuz I can remember that when I recognized the song, my scream/rattle was quite loud XD) and this beautiful version suddenly turned into a frantic rage. It was such a big-big-big rush for me!!!

"Teenage Angst". For me this version was new, because lately I didn't see too much live videos from Placebo. I think this was one of the songs where they made a lot of changes in the sounds. But I really liked this taut, marching-like rhythm and Edó shares this opinion with me. :)

During the "All apologies" Nirvana cover I closed my eyes when I heard Brian say something like "for a lost friend". Well yes... But next to this it evoked some nicer memories in me too back from high school, when I used to listen to Nirvana a lot. I think, I should search for their albums again... :) After this came "Song to say goodbye", which totally finished me off again! I always cry on the official video and this is one of my biggest favs from "Meds". Not to mention that a kind friend of mine comes into my mind every time I listen to it - sadly we'd lost him with the family at the beginning of this summer. It was truly amazing to see it live! I think this was the song where Brian's guitar strap split or unclasped and it was cute as he pulled up the guitar and went on with playing on it like this. :) 

"The Bitter End". It's very popular (and usually I like less popular songs), but this is a big favorite of mine. By this song, the crowd went crazy around me, everyone was jumping - including me :P - and I wasn't surprised at all! I screamed the lyrics as loud as I could and I really-really enjoyed it!

Here came the encore and we just screamed and chanted "Pla-ce-bo", clapping. Soon they came back on stage to perform a new favorite, "Trigger happy hands" - hearing this everyone went wild! First I couldn't sing at all, just let the power and meaning of the song pierce through me, cutting into me. This song is sharp like a knife and Brian's tongue was sharp as well as he performed it in his own style, challenging the VIPs to move as well. (Another gesture which everyone liked down there in that heat :P) For me this was the most aggressive song on the concert and this was nearly the one, which swept me away the most!

"Post blue". Yes, a big fav from "Meds" as well. (BTW, it seems that slowly "Meds" will be my fav album. :D They have been battling with "Battle for the sun" for this title, but in the last few months I've got addicted to "Meds" again... :P) So by this song I thought on Lola, because I know that this is her biggest favorite. Did I mention how much I love it when Brian says "fuck"? And he uses this word quite frequently XD This is why I said to the others that his head is full with "fucks" XDDDD  (I know someone else who’s the same! XD) And of course it really pushed Edó and me over the edge when he gently touched himself during this song... Huh huh huh :P

After I came around a bit from the shock my other personal fav has already started: "Infra-red". I have some nice memories thanks to this song too and a picture flashed in front of my eyes during the "Cuz I can see in the dark" line as my friend Peet and I are dancing in a Depeche Mode party at dawn, back in 2006. The mood by this song was awesome as well! Everyone shouted the lyrics as loud as it was possible, cuz we could already feel that we were closing on to the end of the show. I think this was the song where by the "...watch you fall" part with an artistic move Brian let his guitar pick fall down. (A girl who came to the after party with us got that pick from a security guy and she told this to us in between sobs. :D She was cute!)

And finally the last song, "Taste in men" came. This is my fav from "Black Market Music" and by the way I like its video the most. :P Of course we were jumping here like mad as well. And the song speaks to itself... Because I didn't know the set list - I wanted it to be a surprise and it changes nearly every time anyway - I realized that this was the last song just when everyone on stage came forth, bowed and said goodbye. Well of course we screamed and clapped for minutes.... 

On the whole I have to say that the show was beyond my expectations and something happened that I wouldn't have thought: this concert reached the level by me where no one has ever been, just my absolute favorite band Depeche Mode. The concert overwhelmed me emotionally more than I can say - it filled me up with energy and murdered me in the same time. I really loved it that the stage was at the left side of the arena and that "just" a few thousand fans were there. Somehow this way I felt the band much closer to me. :) Brian and the others looked amazing and gave a professional and perfect show. (Not to mention Brian's very strong presence and the burning look of his eyes!)

Luckily because I had a great view onto the stage, I didn't miss the smaller spontaneous moves and expressions either. Brian looked and came to us a lot - a few times we locked eyes as well - which just gave me more to this amazing experience. Stef was really sweet when he came and towered over us with his guitar and when he went back to his place and he and Brian looked at each other. :) I really liked the background projections, too. Especially during the "Intro" and "Breathe underwater". I just wanted to hug and squeeze the life out of Steve, cuz he was so cute and enthusiastic! :D I cannot really talk about the sound, cuz we were very close to the speakers, but I think it was good. I remember that my skin broke out in goose bumps in the moment Stef started playing on his bass for the first time...

After we could finally come around we collected our stuff and slowly managed to get out from the arena - and we were surprised that the stairs we had to run down (it was less than one minute! XD) was this long. But it's not a big wonder in this mental state. :P Outside on the cool air - of course we were sweaty like hell - we could finally take a deep breath and slowly we found each other. We took some pictures after calming down a bit. Soon with Dóri (she got Brian's guitar pick) and the others we were on our way. We said goodbye to Lola by the metro station and with some difficulties we got on the 1st tram. After 3 stops we waved to Angie too, who went home as well. So the three of us followed a bunch of people dressed in the right amount of black, hoping that they were on their way to the after party in Dürer garden. And we were right XD There were quite a lot of people when we arrived. After buying a life-saving beer (which disappeared within 5 minutes, thanks to my dehydration XD) we found some girls who were there outside the arena before the concert and we sat down to them. We made friends with them quite quickly and while better and better videos were shown on the projector (totally in front of me! :P), we went into deep conversations why this or that Placebo song or video is good and it turned out that one of the girls read my Placebo fanfictions XD

After party in Dürer garden

Then Judy, the official photographer, showed up and quickly started taking photos of us after we told her how the concert was. :D I like that woman too! :D Of course after drinking enough amount of beer (for more "serious" drinks the place was a bit too expensive) we danced and we bumped into each other with that German boy and girl, whom I've talked to before the concert. The guy was a big DM fan as well and I really beautifully explained to him why "Sounds of the universe" and Dave's solo projects are awesome XD Well, I spent the rest of the evening mainly with them, talking in English and Dóri joined us too. Some parts are a bit cloudy, but I know that I really, really enjoyed the after party as well - even if the rain threatened us with pouring down on us. (But luckily this didn't happen.)

Around 4 in the morning they kicked us out from the place (what a shame!), we called a taxi with Edó and went to the Keleti station, which was still closed. But we were okay with that, because in our half-drunk state we started analyzing Brian and the show again and how many emotions this evening stirred up in us. We went on with this conversation inside the train station too, where I ate a hamburger, cuz I was very hungry even before the show. :) After spending at least 2 hours there with Edó, waiting for a bloody train for her (she had none!), I took the metro, listening to Placebo of course, and went to the Nyugati station. After a cigarette I was soon on my way home. Luckily when I started to fall asleep, an acquaintance sat down to me and we talked until our stop. This way I could get off on the right place - once or twice I nearly missed it after wild parties XD

So I don't really know what to say at the end of my report. I'm still not able to go outside and be around other people after this night. Yesterday, after waking up from a few hours of sleep, I started sobbing heavily on "I know". Well, this shows that I enjoyed the concert as much as I always do on Depeche Mode concerts - because until now only DM could send me into this state of mind.
This evening meant much, much more to me than anyone could know!
And I'm still processing it...
Since then I'm listening only to them and I think this won't change for days now!

I have to thank to Placebo, to my friends and to the kind new acquaintances for this wonderful night! It was more than awesome!

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Useless-girl
16-17/09/2010

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