17: Relight My Fire – Part 2

Evening, night and morning had passed before the werewolf stirred, waking to having the human right next to him still. Stiles was sprawled out like a starfish, mouth a little open, snoring softly with some drool leaking out. Still very deeply asleep. If Stiles had been up before, Derek hadn't noticed. Stiffly he got up to have a repeat of yesterday where he took care of business in the bathroom and attempted to shake off some of the stiffness in his body. Listening closely for sounds, he turned on the shower and got rid of the bandages to inspect himself. Stomach was healing well, the skin had stopped looking so puffy and red. The leg though...

He made a face, the wound was going to need some cleaning out with all the infection in it, good thing he was about to take a shower. The next fifteen minutes Derek cleaned out the scratches until fresh blood was flowing before he cleaned the rest of him. Dutifully because he was mindful of Stiles, he applied bandages again after pulling on some clean underwear to make his way to the kitchen.

Food was needed, or more... ordering in was needed. The fridge didn't have anything that didn't require a lengthy time of cooking and no, Poptarts didn't count as food. All of the pamphlets for takeout were pinned on the fridge with magnets. He went for the one getting their strength up, the steak house. Derek ordered them a ton of food so they could put the rest in the fridge, promising extra money if they were willing to bring it all the way up to the loft with the elevator.

Coma sleeping through more than twelve hours was good for Stiles too. He only started stirring when it subconsciously registered in him that the source of the warmth was gone from next to him. He cracked one eye half-way open as he pulled his cover over him, cocooning in again and just let his mind slowly wake up while listening to the sounds in the loft. Derek taking his time in the shower (at this point he might have drifted off for a few minutes). Then moving around in the kitchen and finally talking on the phone to order food. And hopefully making coffee?

Stiles wasn't sure about that last part as he was lying there, only the top of his messy head and closed eyes sticking out from the warm cocoon. He was still so unwilling to move while his mind was slowly starting to work.

It was nice to sleep on Derek's side and his body felt less weary so some more healing had definitely happened from that closeness and the rest. Now the emissary carefully tugged at the bonds to focus on how Derek was feeling. That tension was still there between them, though maybe not as intense like before they fainted into sleep. And they had a lot to do today after eating. Not one part of Stiles wanted to do any of that. Especially not the soul-searching and quarreling part with Derek with all the self-blaming going around again.

His phone chimed on the nightstand, but he was too lazy to move a muscle to check it. Maybe his dad – and damn, he made him worry again. Or Jordan or Chris checking in. He didn't care. Nah, just a few more minutes to ignore everything in the world in the safety and warmth of his cover.

Derek could tell Stiles was awake because the breathing had changed, but besides some movement in the bed, he didn't hear the human get up. He was probably trying to get his body in gear after the many hours of sleep. There was that little checking up through their bonds. Stiles didn't realize that the alpha always felt the little pulls because it was a shift in energy. For Derek the bonds between them made him aware of the other constantly, also because of his chemo signals, and he was used to having pack bonds. It came easier, in a few years Stiles was going to be able to monitor Derek as easily as breathing.

The food was ordered so he made coffee, because it didn't matter what time of the day it was, they both needed their coffee to start it. And although he was pretty sure Stiles would emerge when he'd smell the coffee wafting through the loft, of course the Hale wasn't going to wait for that. Instead he switched out the pot for a mug, letting it fill before placing the pot back and added the needed sugar and milk.

The mug was brought to Stiles, letting the scent of it trickle into the bedroom as he put it on the nightstand.

"I got you your coffee. And food should be here in about thirty minutes. You look better." Stiles looked like a fuzzy cat with his hair standing up on all ends thanks to his tossing and turning.

"You look better too," he blinked up at Derek and wiggled around a bit like a burrito to be able to sit up with the cover still around him. He allowed only one hand out of the warmth to grab the mug and close it towards his mouth, inhaling the lovely scent deeply, even moaning a bit. "You're a life-saver. Thanks for the coffee," he added then took a sip, just enjoying the taste explode on his tongue and wash away most of his morning breath.

"Can't lure my mate out of bed without it." It was lightly teased since usually it was the other way around with Stiles being a morning person and Derek the resident grump needing his coffee before his brain was willing to work. But since he himself felt a little groggy too with the long sleeping they had done, coffee had seemed like a sure way for the both of them to look less bleary eyed. Stiles certainly needed some help with that. Sadly Derek forgot his own mug so he was going to have to wait a bit longer.

Stiles managed to smile behind his mug from that clearly exaggerated statement, because yes, it was usually the other way around. Although he loved some sleep-grumpy morning Derek for himself. Today was different, though.

After another sip, the sleepy cat looked at Derek over the brim of his mug. "What did you order?" he asked, examining his mate. He did look more healed and better and the fresh scent of a shower was lingering around him, so Stiles assumed his mate changed the bandages too. "How's the leg wound? Still infected?" There was worry in his voice. He didn't like it that the infection lasted this long. Maybe they should try a stronger potion and balm next.

"I got us steaks, fries, salads, mac and cheese, bread rolls... I think some more but honestly I was barely awake. Rattled off all I think of that would help us heal."

"I see even half-asleep you managed to instinctively order quite a few useful foods for us. I could eat some," he added after a moment or two of examining how he felt about food. Frankly, it'd be good for both of them and not just for the healing but also to replenish their strength.

Even if they both weren't hungry, they were going to eat because their bodies needed the fuel but Derek knew he'd eat, his stomach was empty and very interested in food. It was why he had ordered curly fries. There was no way the human was going to say no to his favorite food, they were his kryptonite.

Also steaks and meat in general were a good source for blood loss. Fries were carbs and salt, salad was for the vitamins and pasta helped load up on carbs as well. And since Stiles hadn't been that hungry yesterday thanks to Derek's insides on the outside, he didn't think the talk of wounds would be beneficial right now. The question was a little more detailed, harder to avoid answering because Derek was good at ducking an answer without lying about it. "I cleaned it out and put fresh bandages on, it's fine. And if you insist on taking a look, we'll do that after the food."

The Mexican food had been cleared out, probably Chris' doing since they hadn't put it in the fridge and no doubt had gone bad. Oh, that reminded Derek that he needed to send the work crew a notice that they could take a few days off, paid. To keep them safe, and give Derek time to make sure all of his blood was gone. Like the massive pool outside.

Drinking some more coffee, Stiles hummed. "Yeah, I might want to take a look later. I don't like that infection. And how are the stitches? Do you usually take them out or let them dissolve?" he asked curiously. It was a question he somehow always forgot to ask during the years.

"Oh, the stitches are fine. I only put the bandage on it because of the food. I'll pull them out this evening so the rest can heal too. Werewolf healing tends to heal around foreign objects with time and these won't dissolve." Werewolves were rarely able to go to hospitals due to the fact they weren't human at all. So most stitches came from thread ordered online.

Reaching out for his phone after Stiles finished his coffee in a couple of big gulps, he checked the message he had received. "Tyr's asking how we are since he heard what had happened from dad. And asks if he can help somehow or come over. I think he should once we ate and got ourselves together a bit. To clear the air with him. But... promise me you won't attack him. All we know is that they presumably fucked in the woods. It doesn't mean he knows much more about that asshole alpha..." Stiles glimpsed up at Derek with the cell still in his hand.

"It means he fucked a strange werewolf and didn't tell us there was one. I don't care what else he knows, that is already enough," Derek growled not amused, though it wasn't directed at Stiles. The fact his mate had to ask him not to attack the beta was telling even though that hadn't been on his mind. The stupid beta had a lot to learn and it was a big mistake yes, but Derek had dealt with much worse. To be fair, he had punished his betas in the past so...

"He can come over later, and you should let your dad check in." They were lucky the sheriff hadn't shown up yet with the way he must be worrying about his son who had been attacked. "After food, and after your shower." The human needed one badly.

"Well, I think you should care about what else he knows about this alpha because it could give us some leads to find out who the hell he is and who is backing him," Stiles shrugged, obviously being the voice of reason in this case, because yeah, they didn't even know the name of the alpha and had practically nothing to start digging up stuff about him. If they get lucky, he'll ping on some kind of a database.

Obviously Derek cared what else Tyr knew but the sleeping with a strange wolf without letting them know was enough to lose trust. It wasn't that he wasn't going to ask Tyr anything, but he was too tired to even correct Stiles on it. Whatever the beta knew about the alpha, they'd hear it when he was here. It’s hard to make a decision based on what an enemy told them so he didn't want to think about it too much, he'd have an angry opinion.

"Even a name would be useful. Otherwise yes, I don't like it either that he had failed to mention that to us as a candidate wanting to win our trust and a position in our pack," Stiles said while quickly typing an answer to the beta to come over in a few hours then put his phone back on the nightstand.

Stiles sighed, nodding. "Yeah, I should at least call dad and let him come over if he insists..." He knew how worried the sheriff could get over his only son, but there was no surprise there. He was a good dad, after all. And Stiles felt a bit sorry that he was blessed (or cursed?) with a son like him instead of an average one who wouldn't put grey in his hair faster than necessary.

"I should try to strengthen the wards too. Maybe put up a few new ones as well. I'll see how I'll be magic-wise for that," he glimpsed to the side, gathering his strength and willingness to take that shower. And for once not asking Derek outraged if he stunk or something.

The 'angry' doorbell rang, Beth had named it that because the sound was shrill and loud, signaling there was somebody downstairs. "Saved by the bell. You up for eating at the table or should I bring some here?"

"Table's fine..." Stiles mumbled.

Come to think of it, where the hell was Derek’s wallet? And he should probably wear more than his underwear so he was quick to wrestle into some sweatpants while looking around for his wallet. The clothes he had worn during the attack were ruined and probably in the trash but where had Chris put his wallet? Sighing, he gave up on looking for it, there was always some money at the loft so he used the 'emergency' stash from the little jar on a side table near the door.

Which was good timing since the 'nice' doorbell rang, the one installed outside the metal loft door to encourage people not to walk in like they owned the place.

"Hi. Delivery for Hale?" the young man stammered, caught off-guard from being greeted by a half-naked man. They really should get used to it.

"Thanks for bringing it up, I had a little accident so..." Derek motioned to himself, unknowingly only bringing more attention to his torso and making the guy blush even more as his eyes roamed.

"I can take it inside for you, it's really no problem," the hopeful man tried as Derek glanced at the ticket on top of the boxes to see how much he owed and adding a royal extra for bringing it up.

"That's okay," Derek handed over the money and took the boxes and bags of food. Yeah, he really had ordered half-awake. Closing the door before the man could say more, the oblivious alpha took it all to the kitchen.

Meanwhile Stiles got out of the bed, switching the cover around him to a thinner but warm blanket and wrapped it around himself like a tent. He just glimpsed at the furiously blushing delivery boy and rolled his eyes as he shuffled towards the kitchen.

"He totally had the hots for you," the druid grumbled half-pouting, half-amused. "Wallet's on your nightstand," he informed Derek as if reading his mind earlier. He walked to the coffeemaker and poured another mug for himself before settling on his usual chair, helping Derek pack out all the food.

Until a plate and utensils appeared in front of him, he cradled his mug and took small sips from his coffee, drinking in the sight and trying to decide which food he was in the mood for.

"What? The kid?" Derek dismissed the notion of the delivery guy having the hots for him because all those kinds of attractions were nothing but lust at first sight. Come to think of it, he had probably offered to come inside to get into his pants. As if Derek was such an easy lay. Not even if he had been single would he ever accept such blatant offers. Besides, he had eyes only for the crazy blanket burrito in front of him at the table. He had grabbed plates and utensils as Stiles unpacked the last of all the food.

"You do love and care for me..." the human burrito sighed in a slightly better mood when he spotted the curly fries and stake, his stomach making an excited grumbling sound. Okay, yeah, he was going to be able to eat, it seemed. Putting the mug down, he shrugged out of the blanket enough to reach for the food and put it on his plate before digging in.

As expected, the sight of the curly fries made Stiles feel a whole lot better, making the Hale smile. Yeah, he knew his guy and what he liked. "Don't sound so surprised. I know your likes." Derek opened his Styrofoam box with a steak in it, normal fries added for his and of course mayonnaise because ever since he had gone to Europe, he had developed a liking for dipping his fries into it. First the meat though, medium for him, well-done for Stiles. The meat was tender and had the right amount of pinking to it, so he hummed content when he got the first bite in his mouth.

"Yeah, the kid. You know, I know that you are blissfully oblivious to flirting from other men and women, but dude, you just don't have any idea how many times it happens. And how often I didn't throw a jealousy fit or got allll territorial," Stiles shrugged with a tiny smile. Still half-amused and half-annoyed by that. "Not that it's your fault that you are one hot piece of a man... MY man..." Stiles huffed and stuffed his mouth with some fries, moaning because they were perfect. Yes, his man knew his likes very much. In all meaning. Not just the curly fries and well-done steak.

Derek knew how to flirt, knew how to get the attention needed but when it came to being flirted with... Yeah, Derek was too used to ignore it, give them one inch and they'd try to take it all. He smelled it on them, the attraction, if they were aroused enough but that first moment, the build up? Not something he was looking for, especially not now. The Hale had all he needed with Stiles, so his attention for others wasn't as honed in as Stiles' was. "Get all jealous and territorial if you want, I don't care about them." And the thought of having a mate get all possessive wasn't something he was against. "I'll probably drag you off for sex if you do get that way." As if that warning wasn't just extra motivation.

Derek got a lot of attention yeah, he knew a lot of people saw his looks and his body and stopped to think beyond the beauty. As if his skin mattered only. The problem was that they were more forward than the ones Stiles attracted. Except for the latest alpha. Most were shy teen girls or shy boys, younger crowds who saw Stiles’ beauty and cuteness and energetic personality and were more careful to approach. With Derek they often felt like they had to do extra to attract the seemingly all alpha male, resulting in the hands on approach and the attention that he actually hated.

"Oh, I know..." Stiles grinned, a tiny bit better from that statement of being dragged off to have sex. Of course, he knew how being possessive affected his mate. Hell, he had already benefited from it once or twice before. And Stiles loved how keen Derek was to bottom for him in such cases. It always added some extra to the sex during those occasions – for both of them.

The younger man could spot someone flirting with him, sure. But not always either. Besides, he rarely was interested before the whole bonding thing happened. Sure, he was experienced sexually, but he rarely invested into such 'relationships' emotionally. He usually just went for having fun with the other. But of course Derek had changed all of that for him. Even before they were together. Stiles often wondered if it was his pining for Derek that had stopped him from getting too involved in his former flings. Probably.

The more he shoveled into his mouth, the hungrier he felt so Stiles knew it was going to take a while until both of them ate their fill. Which was good, because their bodies needed the sustenance.

Derek wasn't just hungry, he was starving and his intestines had already worked when he woke up so his body was back in business as usual. Which meant food. "How are you feeling? Besides groggy from coma sleeping."

"Besides that... a bit dizzy and down," Stiles answered with his cheek bulging from the food and shrugged again. There was no reason to try to hide something Derek would feel through their connection. "But also a bit better from the sleep and balancing. The magic is already building up, though. I can feel it. In a couple of days we'll have to balance again," he said, making sure to stick his gaze to the steak he was cutting with maybe a bit more force than necessary.

The topic of magic came up again, and he knew Stiles wanted to be careful with him and it was starting to become an issue. "I will get used to it again, so whatever you need. The spell you did asked a lot from you so it might be building up a lot for now."

Popping another bite of meat into his mouth, Stiles used that and chewing as an excuse not to answer right away. Even if they both knew that he could talk with his mouth full too. Yes, magic was a touchy subject right now and Stiles was quite lost in how to approach it without pushing or triggering his pair.

"Yeah... after such a massive magic use, a surge is probably going to come sooner rather than later," he sighed while munching on a curly fry, his whiskey-colored eyes (yeah, now he concentrated more on keeping them that color) glimpsing up at Derek.

Oh great, a freaking surge. That wasn't something the Hale was too happy with happening, but maybe if they didn't let the magic build up too much and balanced more often, they could avoid it. With the way Stiles looked like a kicked puppy, he doubted it was going to work in their favor but they could try. They were going to try.

Cutting a piece of his steak, he chewed while thinking on it, spearing a fry on his fork because he was one of those strange people who liked to use a fork on fries. "If the surge happens while we're having sex, it might be less of a freak out for me." Sex between them was always good, it would keep his mind busy with pleasure and it might even rewire the brain to start connecting good things to Stiles' magic. The question was more if they had the time for it to take it that slow. Stiles was going to need to be at his best and they couldn't afford Derek letting himself be lured into another attack.

There was never enough time. For anything.

This surviving had been fine when there hadn't been a family, a pack, a mate. Now it was starting to wear on Derek’s nerves, the way they had so little time to do anything... normal. Go watch a movie, have dinner, visit stupid theme parks and annoying markets filled with people. Things a couple would do together. Almost angrily he stabbed at his food, emptying the box of fries and steak without even realizing it until his fork hit nothing. And he was still hungry! Riffling through it all, he discovered a box filled with spaghetti and meatballs. So he got some of that, leaving half for Stiles.

For a while Stiles silently watched his mate get lost in his food and emotions. He felt the lingering annoyance and near anger, thinking that it was because of needing to deal with a possible surge and more balancing and all of a sudden the food in the druid's mouth lost its taste and turned into ash. He struggled to swallow it down then rather drank some water to keep it all down too.

"Yeah, that might help..." Stiles mumbled, his shoulders hunching a bit more forward, knife and fork in hand but he was just staring at his nearly empty plate. "Though I can't exactly control when it happens..." he said barely audible. He wanted to drop the utensils and pull the blanket back over his shoulders to hide in that warm cocoon again. He knew it was stupid. That it wouldn't protect him from anything, really. Or do any good to kinda pull back and close into himself, but he was already kinda doing that.

Derek didn't understand the feelings from Stiles, the complete turnaround when they had been managing so well for now. "I know. And maybe it would be better if it's soon so you'll have more strength. I can't train myself to get stronger in the short time we have and I'm not very useful when it comes to a magical alpha." All Derek could help to do, if it was needed, was to slow the alpha down enough to buy his mate some time. And to buy him time and give him more, Derek was going to need to be brimming with magic so it could be used.

"We might have to... build up our tolerance for it." It seemed to be the best plan of defense even though it was pretty much the scariest solution to have to handle. But he was not going to let them be killed, or worse, let Stiles be reduced to a life with somebody else he didn't pick, simply because his alpha was too scared to man up and help his mate. Derek wasn't going to be the one to be the hero in this, Stiles was. And his job was to make sure the human was as ready for it as possible.

Maybe that was why Stiles was feeling worse, the idea of forcing Derek into it. Even though it was the choice of the alpha. "Stiles, if our roles were reversed, you'd do it for me too."

Looking up to that with a deep sadness in Stiles' eyes, he sighed bitterly. "That's true. I would. But you fear me right now. I'm not sure I can see us do any building up the tolerance for it when even the mention of magic makes you cringe and flinch. I should've never dabbled in this shit..." he grumbled, finally putting his knife and fork down and leaning back in his chair to stare out of the window, lost in thoughts, cool hands back under the blanket. He felt cold and kinda detached from everything, especially himself.

Which was very much not like Stiles, who usually was the first to come up with a plan to save a situation or the town itself. Now his mind was numb and blank.

"I should go take a shower and get ready for Tyr's arrival," he said after a while, not looking away from the window. But he didn't move just yet. He had to collect his strength first. Of which he felt drained, even with the balancing they did earlier.

"I'm fine, I can deal with magic. I knew what you were when we started this. This is a setback but not a permanent one." Derek wanted to ask for time, for Stiles to not give up on them because of this problem but the human was so depressed and... cold. And asking for more time would only put more guilt on those struggling shoulders. Maybe he should find a way to block this stupid fear so they could get on with their lives. Stiles didn't deserve this. He knew someone who was good at messing with minds, she'd be able to remove it permanently. "We can... we can do a ritual later and I'll prove it to you."

Throwing a worried look at Stiles, Derek started cleaning up the food. At least they both had eaten, even though the human hadn't even finished his. It was better than nothing. "If you're too tired, you can get some more rest and I can talk to Tyr." They were close but they both felt like miles away and he didn't know how to fix this. The more Derek tried, the worse it seemed to get, which was par for the course when it came to him. That’s why he preferred not to talk much since it rarely solved anything.

"I can take you to the bedroom if you need some help." He didn't dare to touch the Spark without asking since everything in his behavior said 'do not touch'.

Stiles sighed again. He appreciated Derek trying, he really did. "Yeah, maybe later..." he half-agreed to the ritual, but he didn't really believe that was going to happen. Instead he got up with the blanket around him and stepped to Derek to press a soft kiss to his cheek. "It's okay. I'll be fine. You finish putting the stuff into the fridge and I take a warm shower," he whispered. "I want to be there during the talk with Tyr. I can rest afterwards," he shrugged. Because yes, it was better if he was there. The two of them might get more information out of the wolf than Derek alone. Stiles wasn't sure his pair wasn't going to snap at the other wolf. Not because he was a bad alpha, but because this situation hit too close to home for him with that other alpha's comments and actions and clearly targeting Stiles.

With that, the young man shuffled out of the kitchen, holding the blanket around his body a bit tighter. He hated to feel so lethargic, but couldn't help it. Not yet. After the talk with Tyr, he wasn't going to rest, he already knew. He had a lot of research and work ahead for sure to see if his idea might work or not to put an end to all this.

Nothing about this seemed okay or fine, but since Derek was very good at being the same way, he watched Stiles shuffle over to the bathroom. His head throbbed, which was usually a sign of a trigger moment but he pushed it away, angry at himself for being so weak. If he could have handled being in Hell better, then none of this would even be an issue and Stiles wouldn't be so distant out of fear of triggering Derek's fear. And fear was a lack of courage to face his problems. It was messing everything up, everything.

Quietly the Hale cleaned up the table, putting all the food in the fridge, and poured himself a mug of coffee. He took it over to the windows to stare out, seeing it was raining. Great, it matched their moods and it would wash away the blood outside. He felt numb, impotent, a failure. Life wasn't easy, he knew that all too well and he wasn't going to ever give up. But sometimes it felt like each time he tried to stand up, he'd be kicked down or maybe the problem was that he never really got up anymore and was just crawling his way through life.

Peter had always called him weak, but Derek had never agreed to it. Maybe he should.

Next part

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