Chapter-XVIII.

                               The next day reached us at Taman Lot, a forgotten realm far away of civilisation of any kind. The only building here besides our bungalow was a seaside temple. At the shore where the Ho river flows into the ocean there were a few huts of local fishermen and their sampans. No one was around us. Just the two of us. It wasn't any like this since our New Zealendian adventure. Just the two of us. Oh, how much I enjoyed it. He was mine for a time, just mine.

The island of Java was breathtaking. It isn't any wonder that it's called the garden of the world. Not only because its coconut palms, bananas, bamboos, banian, mango, cocoa, santal, ebony and different kind of other trees with full of fantastic orchideas on their top,  the majestic lotuses on the river but also because of the fauna which was as diverse as its flora. The people, also.  So many different kind of people with different ethnicity, religion and varnas. Buddhists, mohamedans, christians, all live together in this lush, colorfoul jewel of an island.

The ancient buildings, like our temple were also so magnificient. It was plain artistic. Ancient forms, perfect curves of slim women on the reliefs who looked like angels, they were apsaras, angelic dancers of heaven. Their movements are harmonic and airy, still somehow realistic. We've seen women on the streets of Jogjakarta carrying their children on their hips or huge dishes on their heads and they moved exactly with the same grace like their XI.th. Centurian counterparts.

The main reason I wanted to come to this paradise was Borobudur which is a ninth century Buddhist Mahayana monument in the centre of the island, only  four miles  away from us. The next day Dave took me there. We went by a jeep which he drove. No one else around us just we two. I could embrace the whole world as free and happy I was. My mind and spirit could roar and his, too. He knew how I felt as a fellow art lover, he had such a great taste in art. We were driving through the jungle. This was the first time I'd been to one. Only it was totally different from the image I had in my mind.

It wasn't that romantic at all. No huge, shadowy trees with roaring tigers in the bush.

The trees were not high, they were almost small and very dense. If you were not on the road you were not able to take a step inside into it without a machete. It was dense because of the lians  and creepers which were so abundant here. They  were literally suffocating the trees, preventing them from growing. It was still a strange feeling travel through this wilderness with not one living soul around.The road we took was a little godforgotten, abandoned, dusty road with potholes here and there. Dave had to drive very cautiously if he hadn't wanted to change tyre in 42degrees Celsius in dense humidity. We were all wet, because of our sweat and because of the humid air. The mosqitos and other bugs were buzzing around us, though we bought professional trekking clothes for the tropics and we had applied bug repellent on us, still they greatly disturbed us. We were also afraid of tropical diseases. We didn't dare to step into lakes and streams in fear of bilhariasis, which is an ugly disease caused by a worm species. There were pathogen viruses, amoebas, bacteria and worms lurking around us. It certainly had its charm for me as me being a microbiologist, but Dave was freaked out because of them. We didn't had the usual shots in lack of time before our departure, so now we should have taken some meds to prevent certain diseases.

                              It didn't take too much time to reach our destination. Here it was, Borobudur, with all its oriental charm. It was located on an elevated area between two twin volcanoes. Borobudur's stupas overlooking a huge, shadowy mountain of Java, for centuries it has been deserted. Borobudur was built as a single large stupa (  which is a shrine of Buddha or a sign of devotion), and when viewed from above takes the form of a giant tantric Buddhist Mandala( which is a model of the universe)

It is simultaneously representing the Buddhist cosmology and the nature of mind. The three monument's division symbolises three stages of mental preparation towards the ultimate goal, enlightment and entering Nirvana.

I try to describe how majestic it was. Not that I could, but I try my best.

The monument itself comprises six square platforms topped by three circular platforms, and is decorated with 2,672 relief panels and 504 Buddha statues. A main dome is located at the centre of the top platform. It is surrounded by seventy-two perforated stupas each containing one sitting Buddha statue.

The monument is both a shrine to the lord Buddha and a place for Buddhist pilgrimage. The journey for pilgrims, like we were , or I can speak only in my name, I was, began at the base of the monument and followed a path circumambulating the monument while ascending to the top through the three levels of Buddhist cosmology, namely Kamadhatu or the world of desire, our world ( god, how true it was!), Rupadhatu, or the world of forms and Arupadhatu, the world of formless. This one is the closest to Nirvana, there is no forms in this paralel world only faint remains of weak feelings.

Our path guided us through a system of stairways and corridors with 1,460 narrative relief panels on the walls.

The reliefs aim to show us and make us understand the law of Karma,Karmavibhangga

The 160 hidden panels do not form a continous story, but each panel provides one complete illustration of cause and effect. There are depictions of blameworthy activities, from gossip to murder, with their corresponding punishments. There are also praiseworthy activities, that include charity and pilgrimage to sanctuaries, and their subsequent rewards. The pains of hell and pleasure of heaven are also illustrated.

There are scenes of daily life, complete with full panorama of Samsara, which is the opposite of Nirvana, Samsara is our very world of desires. Being in it means an endless cycle of birth, suffering and death. We should seek a way out and that is the following and practising of Buddhism.

I hope, I was sound in my explanation. Maybe too profound. But these are the triggers which keep me moving. David listened my little blurbs immersed in his own thoughts.

He sat down in front of reliefs and watched them thoroughly. He took out a notebook and a pencil from his backpack and started to sketch them. While he was drawing I tried a conversation with the csaukidar, the guard who took care of the place. He spoke some English, I didn't spoke any Malayan, but my incomplete Sanskrit knowledge as a kind of lingua franca for Buddhism all around the world, like the latin was for Christianity did the trick. We were in deep conversation when David approached us. He sat down onto the floor and started to draw again. This time me and the chaukidar. Later he gave me this drawing framed, it's still one of my precious treasures.

The sun started to descend and it did it very fast as we were near the Equator so we had to leave if we wanted to reach our bungalow before the night fell.

I thanked the old Malayan's kindness with some money, which he was reluctant to accept. He said it was a nice experiment to talk about lord Buddha's teaching with a western woman. And this is ain't nothing because the official religion is the Islam here, which forbids even to talk to women not belong  to his family.

At last I told him, that this money is for the education of his grandchildren and this way he took it and thanked it again and again. What a kind and gentle soul he was.

                                   We arrived to our house late in the night, because we stopped on the road in the middle of the jungle. When reached a bigger stream we saw eyes shining in the dark. David wanted to see  what it was. He stopped the engine and we sat in quiet in the dark. Suddenly, after hesitating for a time three Asian Golden Cats  stepped out from the shadows, a mother and her two cubs and went to the water to drink. We were mesmerised. I hardly saw Dave's face, but as much I saw from that it was the face of a big game hunter. His expression became alert and tense from extreme attention. If I could draw I would have made a sketch. He was THE MALE. He waited as they drank and walked back to the jungle and only then he started the engine. He didn't say a word but I could see how impressed he was.

He was too quiet all day long, some thoughts must had disturbed him. I didn't know if he wanted to tell them. Or was it that he had so much to see today?

When in the bungalow again we had a quick shower to wash the dust off. I put the dinner on the table, grilled fish and fruits when he entered the dining room, only a sarong was tied around his slim waist. His dark hair was dripping and he looked very hungry. Something atavistic was in him, I was never tired of adoring him.

He sat down and started wolfing down the fish and crab chunks having some mango, papaya, kumquat and red banana salad with it. I also prepared boilt basmati rice and a mango chutney. I sat down close to him, so close I could snuggle up to him. I just wanted to feel him. He felt the warmth and touch of my  body and put one hand around me, he was eating with the other. I was playing with a piece of crab I wasn't able to concentrate on my meal. I wanted to stop time. I wanted to forget everybody and everything but him. He ate everything which was on the table and wasn't on my plate. He looked satisfied.

                                        Why don't you eat baby? Ain't you hungry? Can I have it if you don't wanna it? Baby, say something!

I was smiling  at him and pushed my plate in front of him, he was grinning.

                                      Come on, if you don't wanna eat I feed you then. Here, take it, and he put a piece of juicy mango into my mouth with his two fingers. I swallowed the mango, but he still held his fingers in my mouth. I knew what he wanted, playing lovers' game that night. I wasn't against it, I seemingly always wanted him, something beautiful was  happening inside for me, something sensual, it was full of fire and mystery. I never had enough of him. No matter it was day or night I wanted him. No matter it was in the bungalow, under a coconut palm, in the sand or in the water I wanted him badly. He made me craving for him, I was so addicted to him I couldn't do anything but stand at the shore and staring the water when he went swimming. I waited him back. He was a daring swimmer, no matter how high was the tide or the wind made huge vawes he went swimming. He swam great distances and I was trembling in fear of loosing him.

Now I saw him swimming with broad strokes of his hands toward the beach, toward me. Only some torches lit him and the beach in front of our bungalow in the total darkness of the tropical night. His eyes had a fierce fire when he reached me, he embraced me as wet as he was, maybe it was to cool me down. Inside me such a flame was burning which couldn't be extinguished by any kind of water, with anything at all. The more it was tried the hotter it blazed.  You recognise flame when you are fire yourself. Dangerous, the way he leaved me wanting more. He was dangerous that's why I wanted him for. He was all tame outside, but inside, oh god, a predator.

                               Where do you want it, baby, he whispered to my ears and I was sure he didn't meant a game of cards. Well, unless  Russian roulette  of a kind would be involved.

                                Anywhere. Here and there. Everywhere.

                                Come with me, let's walk, and he took me by the hand and took me for a ride on the sandy beach. The stars were shining bright, everything was alright tonight. Even the stars looked brighter tonight, nothing  was impossible. He slowly started to talk to me about his innermost thoughts, beliefs, about his ideals, the way he saw life itself. I was holding his hand while walking and listened to him carefully. I wanted to know about every single thing he wanted to share with me. I wanted to be his real soulmate as I always thought we were. Then he asked so many questions I was in difficulty to answer all of them. We had to sat down, he took me into his lap and cuddled me, he was simply keeping me in his strong arms. We went on talking, it was so late already, but we didn't care, we had all the time in the world. We'd been together for a while now, half of a year, but we hadn't spent too much time together. Though, he did bought a nice house on the Szentendrei island, which is opposite to our home in the middle of the river Danube, he only spent two weeks there in the month of the lovers. We spent that time as lovers had to. In each other's arms.

Now, here was I again, in his arms again. He knew every part of me, inside out. He knew what I was thinking, what I was dreaming, what are the things I wanted.

He did accordingly to it. He gave a slow, calm and long kiss to me and put his head on my shoulders. I felt his hot breath on my skin when he was inhaling and exhaling. My skin was covered with goosebumps all around. He knew what I liked above all, he started singing to me, one of his new songs I haven't heard before. I was listening to him in  awe and then I realised what this song was all about. It was about the beginning of our love in the mountains of wild, in the land of snow. I felt  tears filled my eyes, then they were flowing down on my cheeks. He held me tight and continued his song about two lonely spirits, two dark fairies meeting when lost, feeling condemned. But their love was growing and from condemnation it became a bless. He sang about his fear of betrayal, his growing trust and the inferno of love that burnt his soul. It was about the will to share it with me, to let me know about it. My eyes were locked in his in the glow of the huge moon, which almost reached the ocean, in the shine of the stars. The moon and all the stars together weren't enough to overshine the glow in our eyes, the glow one can find only in the eyes of the lovers.

                       This was the suprise, remember, I promised you, when you hadn't read my lines on that piece of paper in the lodge's kitchen, he said softly. It wasn't a letter, it was the first lines of this song. This would be the first single I will record, it is dedicated to you, who gave the inspiration.

Simple words are for nothing, I was not able to speak anyway. I felt like I never before. I won't try to express, because I can't. I'm not a poet, I am just a woman in love.

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