Chapter 2

At the end of the performance that evening, with her arms full of roses once again,
she left the theatre by the back door with several other dancers - as they went down the staircase, the giggling girlish voices all suddenly hushed ... Natasha was adjusting her flowers and bag straps and going carefully down the stairs so she was the last one to see the man looking up at the dancers all walking towards him.

Natasha stopped for a minute and just looked down at him, waiting till the last dancer passed him too.

"Nat... err... are you coming?" she heard her friend's uncertain voice.

"No... just go. We'll meet at home" she looked at her for a moment, feeling Dave's gaze never leave her figure.

"Okay then... take care!" she looked at the singer for a moment then pulled her coat around her and followed the others.

She slowed down her pace little by little, the excited rush she had felt at leaving the theatre gradually changing into a smug feeling.... there he was, the person behind all these cards and roses - every night for two weeks now - she came to a halt on the third step, and saw that she was taller than him like this, but only just.

She smiled and began to thank him for the roses ... “I’m glad you are here, Mr. Gahan. I have been meaning to reply to you - all these flowers! Thank you so much, each time they are different - the colour, the scent…”

"Just like each of your performances - there are subtle differences each night - your expression, the curve of your outstretched arm ....”

"You are very observant!” Natalie was impressed.

“And I could probably croon Swan Lake all the way through. I feel like I know it by heart!"

"Well, it'd be a unique performance of yours. Your fans'd be surprised" she smiled down at him and saw his eyes starting to glisten from it.

"Maybe I wasn't the only one, who dug into the other's works?" he winked, which caused a little giggle from her.

"Yes, you’re right. You aren't the only one, and I must confess I liked very much what I’ve seen and heard."

"Well then can I ask my favourite dancer to share her deeper opinion about the band and my works next to a nice dinner?" he asked with a little funny bow.

"Hmm.... I don't know if I can accept this..."

"Please, at least drink a cup of coffee with me!" he asked softly and felt his stomach sank from the possibility of refusal.

Natasha was moved to see the change in Dave's eyes - like a cloud passing before the sun - his previously smiling mouth became slack and his head dropped a centimeter or two - then he shifted his gaze to her bouquet, her white hand, what could be seen of her body behind the flowers, wrapped in a fur-lined trench, and finally resting on her feet - dainty white stockings and shoes .... Natasha was sure she could feel the heat of his gaze as it moved over her - he was taking in so much detail, as if he would never see her again - he was literally gorging his eyes with her!

Feeling uneasy, and remembering that he was expecting an answer, she managed a feeble - "Yes, why not? That would be nice!" ... and was rewarded with the return of his smile.

She felt a bit cramped while walking by his side with her free hands in her pockets after he offered to bring the flowers. They were walking quietly next to each other - Natasha thinking about what Dave wanted from her, and Dave feeling happy because she accepted his invitation. They reached a nearby little café and he opened the door for her. He closed his eyes for a moment when she passed him and felt her flower scent, which was as fragile as her.

"Why me?" she asked quietly and with an open gaze when they found their little table. She was sitting there, both of her tiny hands around the big cup of hot coffee. Dave was examining her slender and long fingers, which were red from the cold outside, but looked up when he heard her question.

She waited impatiently for Dave to reply - after a long sigh and a soul-searching pause, eventually he seemed ready to do so.

“It's just that I've never seen anyone bring so much life, enthusiasm, fire, you name it - into their dancing as you do - you are magical to watch! So light and graceful ... " but here Natasha felt obliged to interrupt.

"Then my performances are not good - I am supposed to be one of a group: we should move as one, and not be seen as individuals, one better or worse than the one next to her..."

Natasha lowered her head and clutched her coffee cup as if it could impart reassurance to her with its heat..... Dave was cursing himself now - what a total mess he was making of this! He took Natasha's small chin in his hand and raised her head - he met her gaze with a gentle one of his own ... Natasha started to tremble - what was this man doing to her - reaching into her soul with his eyes? And yet she didn't turn away - even raised her head further to look at him face to face, through the steam of the two coffee cups.

The steam finished by making a droplet on Natasha's cold nose, and to look for a handkerchief, she had to break the gaze ... and that's when Dave spoke - "I didn't mean that at all - your movements are perfectly coordinated, it's just that you seem to be enjoying it so much more than the others - am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, you do. That's good to hear. I mean the others love dancing a lot, too. But when I step onto the stage, I feel myself like..."

"...like in another world?"

"Exactly! You know what I mean. It's like stepping into another atmosphere, another dimension, where you can sink into the world of music and emotions..."

He was watching her mesmerised. He saw that she was far away at that moment.

"Ah...sorry, my silly thoughts."

"No, not at all. I can understand you. I feel the same, although I perform a bit different."

"Oh yes. But you do it cool" she smiled again "Oh God, my cousin'll kill me when I go home and tell her I’ve met you" she giggled again and he felt his knee go weak from her sight.

They both were at a loss so they started to sip their coffees avoiding each other's look. Dave moved a bit and his knees touched Natasha's knees under the table. Again, both of them blushed a bit and realizing that they are behaving like dating teens they laughed.

"How long will you be here?" he asked after a while.

"In New York? Well we have another 3 weeks in the city with the play, after it we go to Boston, then Philadelphia and other cities" she shrugged.

"So this is kind of a tour?"

"Yes. A kind of union between our two associations."

"I see" he smiled at her again and started to think.

The time was flying and soon they felt -however reluctantly- that it was time to go. Dave asked for the bill and caught a cab for Natasha. He said goodbye and they kissed each other on the cheek. The cab was to go but Dave stopped it and asked Natasha's cell number, which she happily gave to him.

Dave was flying above the clouds. He needed to take a walk before going home. The cold wind blew through his jacket near the Hudson River, but he didn’t mind. He was thinking about his little ballerina with a smile on his face. Even just watching her drinking that coffee made him happy and loaded him full of life! Those slender fingers, those crystal-clear blue eyes, the blond tufts, the gentle laugh.... He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm down.

Natasha felt pretty much the same. She made some tea in her samovar, which was ridiculed by others but she loved it. She inherited it from her grandmother whom she dearly loved, and the samovar reminded her to her beloved Saint Petersburg, how beautiful her city was. She liked New York, but she thought that the glowing of this city is superficial in comparison of the ancient culture and splendor of her town.

Suddenly her cell rang, it was Yuri, her fiancée. She sighed a lil’ one before picking it up.

"Hello, Yuri" she greeted him then took a sip from the hot tea.

"How's my little sparrow in that big city?" she heard the familiar deep voice, which always touched her very core when they were together. They've met because of a ballet play. Formerly when he was younger he was a dancer like her but sat into the choreographer's seat. He directed her play. Yuri was a famous person in Russia's ballet world and sometimes she was thinking about what he was doing next to a "beginner" ballerina, like her.

She was happy to hear his voice, her thoughts however were running away, to a person who persistently stayed in his mind. Stayed cuz he did everything for it. Natasha just couldn’t believe it. He was there every single day. Even when he got the flu and had a high temperature, he was there with gleaming eyes and red nose, coughing.

She didn't know how it was possible... but like every woman, she walked into the trap: she liked the roses and the cards, she liked that he was always there, watching her with his intense gaze. It encouraged her and her moves were more perfect. She wanted to show him that sweetest perfection she felt. And this was odd to her. She always stayed calm when a man appeared with his complements. She was faithful to her fiancée. She loved him. But now as he was waiting for her answer, she felt that disturbing little piece in the picture, which confused the rare moment when she could speak with Yuri.

"Nat... Is there something wrong?" she heard his soft voice.

“No, nothing, maybe I am worn out and tired. We are only at the beginning of the tour and I am already tired.”

“Maybe it would be the flu, take some vitamins, or maybe you should see a doc.”

“No, no, I will be okay, Yuri.” She was answering to him absentmindedly, her thoughts still set on Dave.

"Okay then" he sighed and she could feel a little worry in his voice "I miss you..."

Natasha closed her eyes for a moment "I miss you, too" she sighed and looked up at the wall not knowing what she was watching. She felt guilt - although she hasn’t done anything bad... yet. She closed her eyes again and tried to recall how good it felt between Yuri's arms on that last night before she'd left Russia.

"I'll visit you after a while when my work'll allow it."

“That would be very nice Yuri, I need you here” and God knows she was right. She needed Yuri by her side to combat the temptation. She wanted Dave, she clearly felt it but her sobriety and moral was fighting against it. She decided she would avoid him if it is possible. It made her sad as she didn't want to hurt the man who was so kind to her.

But there was no other chance if she wanted to protect her relationship, her future as a wife on Yuri's side. She really loved him in her own way. More than any other partners she had. They have a lot of common things - a perfect match as their friends said, although the profession said she was with him just to get better roles. And this wasn't the only slander, but they didn’t care, their love was always stronger. But then what was going on now? What did a married man want from her?

Natasha knew she was a good dancer. And she was sure Yuri loved her the best exactly out of this reason. He loved the ballerina in her. But does he love the woman, her real personality too? She wasn't sure. Yuri rarely talked about his feelings, he kept his thoughts and feelings for himself most of the time.

It wasn't odd in his country - maybe it sounded strange for others, but it really was a bit like a separate world. And of course she had other lovers with the same behavior. Sometimes she couldn't bear it, but she stayed quiet and choked her feelings deep inside.

"Do you love me, Yuri?" she couldn't stop her tongue and before she realised she asked it already.

"What kind of question is this, Nat?" She could see him frowning and sliding his free hand into his jeans pocket.

“It is a straight question Yuri. You never tell me you love me.”

“Well, yes, of course not cuz it is obvious, isn't it?” he asked.
 

“Is it?” asked Natasha and she wanted to bite off her tongue but now at last she spoke her mind.

"What's with you, Natasha? You are my fiancée so you know my feelings towards you, don't you?"

"You leave a lot to my imagination..." she noted.

"Nat, I think you are very tired now. Please calm down and take a hot bath before sleep. Call me when you are okay. Bye" and with that he put the phone down.
 

"Yuri, wait! I'm sorry..." but she was talking just to the deaf phone “Great!” she sighed sadly.

She didn't know what’s got into her telling her fiancé what she did but as the years passed she felt the need more and more strongly to express herself and live her own life on the way she want to live it. Obviously if she does so it would cause problems, the people in her life would reject her changing, her personality development cuz they want the things as they were, as they know them and fit them.

Her happiness -which was caused by the evening with Dave- disappeared. She decided to take that bath. She was basically an unselfish person, but now she felt herself a bit egoist doing this to her own fiancé. He loved him truly, but sometimes he felt herself like in a cage. Sometimes she just wanted to break free, but mostly she was too weak to take a move towards it.

She sank into the hot water and closed her eyes. Her mind was wondering and now she didn't cleared her thoughts from Dave while her hands were sliding on her naked body under the water. The water was hot and she became sooo sleepy that she almost fell asleep in the tube.
She decided to call it a day and go to bed early but she wanted to finish first what she has just begun.

After she said goodbye to Tanya, she locked herself into her room and let her silk robe fall down from her slim body. She put Hourglass into the CD-player and lay down onto her bed. She continued her daydreaming about him and closed her eyes while she imagined that his hands were sliding on her body. This was the first time she was playing with herself because of David.

She soon bit down onto her lip while her fingers were stroking her clit in a wild pace between her white thighs. She started to pant quietly, her upper body arched, her cheeks were red, and her groin was burning from the desire she felt for the singer. She didn't need too much time after her fingers found their way into her own body. She moaned softly with every movement and screamed his name into her pillow when her climax hit her body hard. She saw his smiling eyes in her head and she sent a soft kiss to him in her fantasy. After all this it was really time to go and sleep...

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