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Chapter 20

The pervert smile had returned onto Mart’s face as he squeezed his own cock harder, moaning out loud to torture his victim more. He saw on him how badly he was shaking after him, but he still waited a little more. He wanted the next stimulus to be unexpected.

Dave tried to fulfill the order without looking back at Martin and waited with his shaking body. He felt Mart getting into position behind him, teasing him with the tip of his rock-hard cock as he made circles around his entrance and piercing. First he could manage to remain silent – he believed that it was just a short foreplay – but Martin didn’t make his next move.

“Please! Pull me onto your cock!” he moaned nearly painfully.

“No” the short and harsh answer came. He panted silently and pulled away until he didn’t touch the impatient singer at all. The tension was nearly palpable now, getting unbearable for both of them. But Martin wanted Dave to whine and beg for him. He wanted to hear this side of him once again. From this thought he couldn’t stop a throaty growl and as the red fog fell onto his mind, he leant over Dave’s waist and sank his teeth mercilessly into the thin and sensitive skin before moving down with his bites onto the singer’s butt. He couldn’t bear it! He was biting and licking him panting then he wet him properly with his tongue.

“Please, Martin! I can’t take it anymore! I’m begging you!” the singer exclaimed.

“Hmmm… still not enough… Act like a famished whore!” he ordered and another smacking sound could be heard in the room as Mart hit Dave’s ass.

Dave turned around and lay down onto his stomach to take Mart’s cock into his mouth again. He couldn’t take it anymore! It looked that this was unexpected for the blonde man. He had to throw his head back from the feeling, but he let himself into Dave’s mouth just a few times – just letting him wet his cock – then he grabbed Dave’s hair by his nape and pulled him roughly away, using a cold tone: “Impatient little whore! You know well that I didn’t mean this!” he looked down coldly into the wide-opened eyes “Back into your former position and do what I said!”

But this time Dave had enough from being submissive – he wanted Martin and he wanted him now. His green eyes flickered and he didn’t mind his hair as he broke free from Mart’s grip with a sudden move then he nearly jumped onto his lover, who fell back onto the bed from the élan. Dave pinned him down with his weight then he crawled up a bit so their hard cocks could touch. He had to moan from the feeling.

Martin let himself enjoy it just for a moment – with his next move he already put up a fight and didn’t stop until he rolled the disobedient man off of him and made him lay flat on his stomach. He used his strength and pressed him into the mattress hard, pushing down Dave by his neck with one hand. He let him only to turn his head to the side so he could breathe. He pressed his whole body against his and leant to his ear to pant hoarsely into it: “You greedy whore! You know that for this I’ll have to punish you, don’t you?” he dug his fingers harder into his nape as a warning, while his other hand squeezed his own rock-hard cock firmly. “Don’t expect any mercy!” he added on a deep tone and without any warning he rammed into Dave roughly.

Dave cried out loud from the contrasting feeling of pleasure and pain. Finally! After a long while he could feel the blonde man inside of him again. He didn’t care if he took him roughly or tenderly… or that he raped him. It didn’t matter. He just wanted to feel the maddening hardness moving inside of him.

Mar really didn’t show any mercy – his every move followed each other roughly, dictating a quick tempo as he was still holding his mate down. He gave out another throaty growl from the tight hotness which surrounded his aching cock. He nearly went insane from it! He was already rattling as he gasped for air again and again, but this still wasn’t enough for him!

“Come on, whore! I wanna hear dirty things!” he yelled at him, giving him an especially hard thrust, pushing himself all the way up into the shaking body.

Dave moaned again. “What do you want to hear? That I’m yours eternally? That I love it when you’re like this? That I love the feeling of your hard dick moving roughly in me?”

“Dirtier!” he barked at him, completely losing his mind and suddenly he stopped to make circles with his hips, driving Dave totally crazy. But his mate could only whine now.

“I want more of you! I can’t get enough of you… FUCK ME HARDER!” he cried out loud at the end.

Mart panted and moaned contentedly and quickly lifted up Dave’s hips a bit more, but with his other hand he was still pressing the singer’s head into the pillow.

“That’s it! Let it out!” he yelled at him, thinking on the piled up tension inside of Dave “Scream for me, whore! Scream my name!!” he rammed his cock back into Dave.

And David screamed his ruler’s name - long and loud – he did his best. He tried to push back against Mart, but his shaking hands weren’t strong enough. The first sweat drops appeared on his waist and his heart nearly jumped out from his chest. The pleasure blew off Mart’s mind totally as he could hear his name like this from Dave’s mouth. More, more, more – he wanted even more! Never and nothing was enough for him! He didn’t care that it was likely that the singer’s deafening yells could be heard even two floors lower. He felt that he just had left just a few moments before exploding, so he suddenly grabbed Dave’s hard cock to squeeze it hard.

The few pumps Mart gave to his aching cock were too much for the brunette, who yowled loudly as he cummed onto the sheet. His orgasm came like ecstasy for him after all the longing. His lover gasped for air as Dave’s wavering muscles clamped down on his throbbing hardness painfully. For a few moments he couldn’t even move from the clamp-like contractions, but when he could go on – now grabbing Dave’s hips tightly with both hands – after a few firm thrusts he exploded inside of him with a loud yell. He was blinded by the wonderful, long-awaited relief.

Dave welcomed Mart’s last drop too then moaned as the man slid out of him. Finally he moved, but he had to clench his teeth together from the sharp pain. Martin finished him off. He put his lower body down onto the clean side of the bed more carefully than usual, turning onto his side. Curly collapsed onto his stomach exhausted, gasping for air wildly. His blonde and wet curls stuck together and sweat glistened on his whole body. He enjoyed the remains of pleasure with closed eyes and shaking body, grabbing the sheets. The man next to him dug into the sweaty curls as he smiled gently. He loved watching Mart this way – he found him beautiful.

His satisfied dominant side pulled back into the corner of his mind, purring there, while Mart moved towards the stroking hand and very slowly opened his still cloudy eyes, which were glistening wonderfully. For a few moments he watched the sheet then he turned his head to focus on his lover. He felt as his heart and breathing slowed down. The stroking hand wandered onto his face as Dave was watching him moved.

“I go crazy for you” Mart whispered hoarsely and with dry mouth.

Dave slowly slid closer to the naked body until he nuzzled to it completely. He didn’t say a word just pressed his lips onto Mart’s, who enjoyed the kiss with closed eyes. Now this tenderness felt so good after the previous hot shag. He broke the slow and sweet kisses just after a few minutes. He pulled slightly back to look into Dave’s contentedly shining eyes.

“Does it hurt?” he asked with worry in his voice.

“I’ll survive this” he said and he couldn’t stop himself: he buried his face into the crook of Mart’s neck. He wanted to be as close to him as it was possible.

His mate was still lying on his stomach and let Dave nearly climb over him in his diligence to make their bodies touch on every possible surface. He enjoyed the hot breaths puffing against his neck with a quiet sigh, knowing that his skin broke out in goose bumps. He knew what Dave meant with his words. “Everything’ll be fine…” he whispered on a low tone, trying to convince himself as well “We both will survive.”

“Probably. But I’ll have this aching longing for you in the rest of my life, I’ll miss you. I’ll have no peace of mind.”

“Neither will I…” he noted, staring at the pillow over Dave’s head and was thinking on the sleepless nights which lay ahead of him.

Dave just moaned painfully from this and embraced the beloved warm body even tighter. He wanted to hide from the world so no one could find them again or would take away their happiness.

“I just want to run off with you, leaving this whole circus behind us” he said very quietly, whispering Dave’s thoughts.

A painful sigh escaped Dave’s mouth as he saw the fake picture of a happier life flash in front of his eyes. He would have left anything for being able to stay with Martin… anything – Depeche, his family, his life… he would have given up everything, even his soul – the prize didn’t matter.

“Imagine how it’d be living together…” Martin daydreamed with a bitter smile “Finally free from the pressure, just loving each other…” he sighed at the end, embracing Dave with one arm and caressing his shoulder.

“I can’t think of anything else…” Dave’s voice failed him then he pulled himself together “I’d give up everything for this opportunity. Everything.”

“But you know we can’t do that” he stroked along Dave’s back.

“Why not? If I broke free from my ties, I’d be all yours… and I can break free from them” he looked into the green eyes.

By now Martin knew that it was a mistake to bring up this topic, but it didn’t matter anymore. He sighed. “You know that you can’t let them down… especially not the kids.”

“Jack’s a grown-up, and Jimmy and Rosie will be that too. The love I feel for them won’t change, ever. But Jen had no right to ask this from me…”

“I meant that if this gets public – you and me living together and that we feel much more than just friendship for each other – then would you expose them to such questions like ‘your dad is really a faggot’? Not to mention my kids?”

“Sure I wouldn’t… I’m sorry. I’m selfish” he watched Mart’s chest while his eyes filled up with sorrow.

“No problem, I’m selfish a bit too…” he smiled bitterly and moved a bit to reach under Dave’s chin, lifting his head and making eye-contact “I’d like… I’d like to be more selfish, fling myself into this, not caring about what tomorrow would bring, but I can’t forget what’s good for my children. The world is not prepared for this and neither are we or our family.”

Dave just watched the green eyes while something slowly died inside of him… he finally realized that there is no hope… that the story of their love had ended for good.

“No… my sweet… don’t look at me like this, please…” Mart’s heart sunk.

“I can’t look at you otherwise… I’m sorry” the faint answer came. The pain was burning him alive from the inside.

“I know… I know…” he caressed the stubbly face softly, filled with love. He found Dave so beautiful even in his anguish! He was watching the well-known man, who was clinging to him nearly painfully. After a long silence he added: “I don’t regret anything. Not for a moment.”

Dave swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat stayed. Why? Why do they have to say goodbye to each other? Why? “Neither do I. I still wouldn’t exchange with anybody.”

“Until I can be in your arms, I say the same…” he sighed, brushing out a wavy tuft from Dave’s forehead. He liked his hair when it was curly. Dave often let his hair like this for him. But this was when nothing had threatened their happiness-bubble, which had burst out for good long ago. He felt that they were at the end of a chapter in their lives. They’ll have to close an important, long period and leave it behind, locking the door and throwing the key away. They were still standing on the doorsill, looking back onto the countless scenes, which built up this chapter. But soon it’ll be time to turn the key in the lock, sealing the door forever.

Dave felt this too and his whole body was protesting against it. His silent howl shook him from the inside. He didn’t want this to happen. But he won’t be the one who’ll do it – it’ll be the first ray of dawn, that moment when he’ll get dressed and close the door behind him. And he’ll have to look forward – never back. His long and lonely road will last till the end of his life and he knew that he’ll mourn this relationship in every moment. Maybe when his soul will be free, breaking away from his body, when he’ll be really free, then they’ll be able to be together again somewhere far away from here… far away from the bad things, the disgust, from the lack of understanding… from people.

His love let himself get lost in Dave’s eyes. He knew what was on his mind and his heart sank painfully as he said the words out loud: “Yes… maybe one day we’ll be free…”

“You’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

“Forever” he faltered out huskily and couldn’t see clear from the tears.

“Oh god, Martin…” he sighed moved from his feelings and returned to Mart’s lips, kissing them until he had time.

Mart closed his eyes and let himself go in his friend’s tenderness, two silvery drops running down his cheeks. He rolled onto his back, pulling Dave over him and he just kissed and kissed him until they couldn’t breathe. Dave returned them as if he never wanted to let him go – and it was true. If he was able, he would have died right there.

They were kissing for a long while, giving and opening themselves completely for each other, using that few time they had left. They pampered each other with ease, they made love again and again until it wasn’t late. After their long lovemakings they fell asleep exhausted but contentedly in each other’s arms, trying to suppress the choking feeling, which warned them that the night was about to end.

But despite this Dave had his sweetest dream, curled up between Martin’s arms, touching his skin. While he was sleeping unconscious nothing hurt and his nightmares had left him alone as well. After they got very exhausted, the blonde man closed his eyes and pulled Dave closer to him to croon a nice little melody for him as a lullaby until he fell asleep from the warmth of David’s body and embrace. Slowly they’d spent their last peaceful hours too.

---

Dave came round slowly and he opened his eyes. He was lying on his side, watching Martin and drinking in the details. For the last time he gently touched the soft blonde curls, kissed his forehead then his lips too, just to carefully climb out of his embrace and get dressed. He didn’t wake up Martin, because in case he did, he would have never been able to say goodbye to him. He looked back from the door one more time. His hand on the handle was shaking, but he squeezed his eyes shut and quietly sneaked out of the room. It was over.

He moved just after more than two hours when the friendly morning light peeked into the room through the gap between the curtains, tickling his face playfully. He turned his head on the other side with a growl. He was about to sink back into his dream when a little bell started tinkling in his head: something was missing. He reached out his hand for Dave to embrace him again, but his fingers touched just the cold sheet. He froze and very slowly opened his eyes. His worst nightmare came true: Dave wasn’t there anymore. From now on he’ll have to wake up every morning without him… The dream had disappeared from his eyes immediately and he was just lying there, staring at Dave’s literally cold place. The creases of the sheets still held the imprint of his body, which he slowly stroked along. So he’d left…

The pain started to creep up slowly in his throat. He pressed his free hand to his chest as the pain came suddenly, jumping on him like a predator, tearing open the wound on his soul again and digging its sharp claws deeply into him. He thought that everything had ended right then and there. A dry, suffocating sob escaped him as he grabbed the sheet.

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