17.

Anita was sitting alone at home under a warm blanket. It didn’t matter that it was 25 degrees outside, she still felt cold. She didn’t pay too much attention to it, because her temperature was more ectothermal than warm-blooded – she was able to freeze in 40 degrees as well. She was peacefully typing on her laptop, working on one of her papers, which had to be at least 30 pages long. She was a little bit short of time, but she always paid attention on her studies and in this question not even the boys could change her mind. If it was about her studies, she was able to say no to the guys, because she knew that she was working on her future and she didn’t want to live like this anymore. She didn’t want to stay in a small flat with very few money. She never let Martin – or Dave – to get involved in her money matters; she wanted to pay everything from her own strength.

But she slowly crawled out from the comfy bed, carefully – not to accidentally wake her cat – and she walked into the kitchen to get some fruit. Lately she started to eat a lot of fruits, but she was happy about this. Maybe she got a taste of healthy life and she’ll be able to lose some weight. On her way back she stroked her cat and was about to return to her paper, but she rather reached for her cell phone and wrote something dirty to Martin. Since their triangle sorted out things she was a bit ashamed in front of herself, because she had to confess that sex was constantly on her mind. These two men drove her crazy. Before meeting them she was a shy, withdrawn girl, who thought that earning money for food was much more important than sex.  But now she could barely concentrate from her thoughts. When the last time came into her mind when they were together, she had to blush even from the memory and she got horny right away. And she had a lot of erotic dreams – and lately often Dave had the main role in them…

Somewhere she was even shocked from herself because during a few months she has changed her prickly, I-refuse-people attitude. Although still these two men stayed nearly the only exceptions. And she caught herself sometimes planning her future on Mart’s side. She imagined that she moves in with him and while Mart is working in his studio, she uses her knowledge in her future job. In their free time they make love – the two or the three of them. She smiled from this thought while she finished her apple. She was very happy that things got sorted out between them and everything was alright now. And she felt grateful too that these two wonderful guys awoke and allured forth the woman inside of her. The woman, who saved and closed her paper and stretched. She thought how good it would be to cuddle into the embrace of one of them. She bit her lower-lip and reached for her phone to call her dark-haired lover. She asked if he was available for the night. She was lucky, he’ll be alone in his flat the whole night long. She smiled on the tone Dave used and purred that she’s a very welcomed guest by him.

As soon as she hung up, she started packing. She couldn’t stop herself from hurrying when the only thought in her mind was that the sooner she gets ready, the sooner she can be with Dave. She quickly called her friend and asked her to take care of her cat then she was already on her way. Within an hour she knocked on Dave’s door. He nearly immediately opened it and pulled her in – not letting go of her and kissing her passionately. Anita smiled seeing that he wanted her as much as she did. She smiled into the kiss and pulled back a bit, grabbing his wrists as he was holding her face between his hands “Hey, hey! You mentioned some dinner as well, didn’t you?”

“Oh yes! I made it” he laughed “I don’t know how much you like sea food” he started leading her towards the kitchen.

“Well, I rarely ate such things, but I like tuna” she giggled.

“Tuna” he waved with his hand “I’m talking about caviar and shore crabs and clam.”

Anita blinked a bit unsure “Clam?”

“Clam. Don’t you like it?”

“Well, I haven’t tried it yet, but I have a not so nice picture of them in my head, but we’ll see. I hope I won’t choke on anything…” she took Dave’s hand and let him pull her towards the dining room, which wasn’t separated from the kitchen. Then she suddenly giggled “Hey, didn’t you make some oysters for yourself?”

“You think I need it?” the singer smiled darkly.

“Well I don’t know how much aphrodisiac you need to trigger your desires when you’re with such a little girl like me…” she flirted with him.

“I don’t really need help from such things” he pulled her close so that she could feel the proof.

“Hmm…” she smiled kinkily and said what came into her mind without thinking “I love it when your cock is this hard from me…”

“You do?”

“Beyond words…” she stroked along the front of his trousers “But let me torture you a bit more. Let’s eat before that.”

“Alright. After all I cooked for you” Dave giggled and led her to her seat, putting different kind of sea foods onto her plate.

“Hm, they look good, although I have to admit that I have some prejudices against some of them…” she mused eyeing the selection then she flashed an angelic smile on Dave “Will you show me how I have to eat them? I mean the ones that are tricky…”

“Sure” and he started to teach her how to eat the crabs. They ate peacefully when Dave said “Oh, I nearly forgot the calamari. It’s related to polyps and the giant cuttlefish. You wanna try it?” he offered the plate.

But as the calamari’s scent hit her nose, she felt like she’s going to be sick, so she quickly covered her mouth with one hand and held up the other.

Dave put down the plate immediately and hurried to her “Are you okay?” he asked with worry.

“Uhm. I’m sorry” she stood up and hurried into the bathroom. For a few minutes she struggled with her stomach, but at the end the food stayed down. She washed her face with some cold water and took deep breaths as she looked into the mirror.

Dave calmly waited for her return and when she appeared, he led her to the couch “I’m sorry. Sea food wasn’t such a bright idea.”

“I’m fine. I don’t know why my stomach became upset. I guess cuz all of the new food. I’m sorry” she looked at him a bit still pale and guiltily.

“No problem, it happens – especially by the calamari. And… don’t you want to help your stomach with digesting the food with a little physical exercise?” he nuzzled to her.

“Geez, you’re so dirty, Dave” she giggled “Come here!” she pulled him closer on the couch.

She didn’t have to ask twice, soon he was kissing her neck while he got rid off her halter and started grabbing her breasts.

“Hmm… what if you made me yours gently this time?” she sighed into his ear then pulled him up for a deep kiss.

“Gently? Are you really the Anita I expected to show up?” Dave giggled.

“I am. But I’m too tired to the wild things now and…” here she stopped and giggled too “… I don’t want to risk that the food I managed to keep down comes back…”

“Alright, then we spare your little stomach. Come here, you!” and he returned to what he was doing.

---

After a few hours of gentle lovemaking and a little sleep Anita said goodbye in the morning from the slightly exhausted, but contended man. She took his disheveled picture with her on the way home. But by the time she reached her door, she tried to quickly search for her key and she could barely reach the bathroom, where she finally got rid off the remains of her dinner. She wiped off the tears from the strain and tried to calm down after nothing has left in her stomach.

She looked into the mirror and saw that she looked like a wreck. As she looked deeply into her own eyes through the mirror, she started thinking. Yes, this can be a sign of a virus, or the results of the sea food, but it can be… no, that can’t be… She closed her eyes. One of her greatest fears started to take shape in front of her. She didn’t even want to accept the possibility, but she had to be sure, so she took her bag and walked to the nearest pharmacy. Her hands were shaking as she put the box into her bag. Fear washed over her in growing waves. She didn’t want to think too much into it until she wasn’t sure, but her mind was way ahead of her. As soon as she arrived home, she put everything aside and went into the bathroom. She carefully read the paper in the box, because this was the first time she held something like this in her hand. While her pulse raced she read through the text then followed the instructions and now she had to wait. These were the longest minutes in her life.

The minutes passed slowly and the result showed up. One stripe negative, two stripes positive. Anita forgot to breathe as the first striped appeared. For a fragment of a second she let her fears go, but they returned immediately when the second blue line appeared too. Positive. She’s pregnant.

She felt like the world was collapsing around her. This can’t be!

“I cannot be pregnant! It’s impossible!” she moaned and checked her pills. They didn’t expire and the right number of pills were missing… But as she checked her calendar, she saw that she didn’t even notice that her PMs was late with one and a half week. Did her studies, her duties and the boys busy her this much?!

“Oh my god, the boys…” she sat back onto the edge of the bathtub shocked. How the hell should she tell them? And what will they say? She was already afraid of Mart’s reaction, because she still had some months before she turned 21 and… what if he isn’t the father? She shivered from this thought and her stomach flipped again, but with a few deep breaths she calmed herself down a bit. First of all she has to see a doctor to be 100% sure about it. After she was finally ready to leave the bathroom, her hands were still shaking as she reached for her bag again. She hoped that the test was wrong – because it can be wrong – but somewhere deep she knew that it showed the truth. Soon her doctor confirmed her suspicions so she went home with a deadly pale face.

What should she say to the boys? How should she tell them? And how will they react? And should she keep it at all? She felt that she’ll need more days to think about this to come up with every possibility. She knew that they already have a quite complicated situation and no one wanted a baby in the picture – especially not her, because she’s still a student and she felt herself awfully young and immature for a kid… and for being a mother! Sure, she wants kids, but really not NOW, when she’s barely 21! It came into her mind that she won’t tell it to the boys and do the abortion, but in her heart she knew that she cannot do this to them. They have to sit down and talk things over. The idea was already born in her head that she should do this by one of the guys to give her the opportunity to leave the place if necessary – cuz remembering Mart’s previous outburst she was afraid that she’ll need it. She really hoped that they can talk about things in a normal way and figure out something…

But when should she tell them? Should she wait for a few days or should she tell it right now? No… the guys wouldn’t like it, if she didn’t tell them right away when something happens to her. And this was very much their business too. She pulled herself together and reached for her phone to call Mart and tell him on a shaking voice that they have to talk.

---

Anita’s heart was racing when she knocked on the door of Dave’s studio. At the end they agreed that they can meet there, cuz the band had to arrange some things in New York anyway. Anita wasn’t thrilled that she has to disturb the guys with this, but she had no choice. The sooner she tells them, the sooner they can figure out something. Or at least she really hoped so. It was still strange and a bit alien to her that a new life was growing in her body. She was still trying to adjust to the thought.

Dave was a bit nervous as he was waiting in the studio, because they had a lot of work, but he tried to be patient. Anita wants to tell them something important and he has to respect this. He looked at Martin, who was sitting on the sofa. The blond man’s head was full of thoughts. He wasn’t thinking just on Anita’s important news, but on many other things about the band and his life. He was worried about Viva’s lately behavior – he had to talk with his ex-wife about it a few times and he hoped that they’ll find a solution for that problem soon, too. But now he focused on Anita as he turned towards the door with a pensive look. Dave jumped a bit from the knock on the door and he invited his guest to come in.

Anita slid through the door quietly and already felt their looks startling. She saw on them that they had better things to deal with right now than her and that they wanted to go.

“Hi” Dave said “Anita, I’m sorry, but can we get over with this quickly? Because we have a lot to work and we’re running out of time.”

“Well…” she started and felt that she already started sweating. Maybe this wasn’t the best time for her to come. Maybe she could win some more time for herself. “If I’m in the way, I can come back later when you don’t have that much work” she said quietly and turned her look away.

“No, no, if it’s important, tell us now” he asked her “We always have this much time for you. Just hurry, please” he glimpsed at his watch.

Anita thought that she won’t be able to say a word, especially when she saw Martin frowning.

“Is something wrong?” he asked her.

She swallowed hard. Then again and cleared her throat. She felt her cheeks burning and that her voice will shake.

“Boys… the situation is the following…”

“Yes?” Dave pushed her.

“Dave, this is important. And very hard” she spluttered then looked at them both one more time. Her voice shook and failed her as she faltered out “I’m pregnant.”

Dave’s eyes narrowed and darkened “Anita, you know well that it’s not a good joke and it’s not the best time to say it” he hissed coldly.

She took a step back from the cold tone, which was like a lash for her. She glimpsed at the shocked Martin helplessly, but looked back at Dave right away. “Dave…” she swallowed hard again “I’m not joking…”

“Are you serious?” he asked barely audible.

Anita could just nod and looked at Dave and Mart in turns, still not knowing what to do or say. The blond man still didn’t react, he just stared at her frozen.

“This is just… fucking fantastic!” Dave broke out at the end of his sentence then hit a nearby table. He didn’t stop here – soon the objects on the table landed on the floor with a loud noise.

Anita jumped, although she counted with such a reaction – well, not from Dave. She didn’t know what to say so she just whispered “Dave, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry…” he huffed. The anger disappeared from his eyes and gave its place to something else. It seemed like… fear. “And what do you want to do now? You run and tell it to the press? You send Martin to jail?”

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” she shouted “Why would I do something like that?”

“This baby from me or from Martin is like a jackpot.”

“You really misread my feelings this much?” she narrowed her eyes painfully.

“Anita… I don’t know you. We just fucked.”

“Aha…” she turned away, her voice failing her again and she nearly suffocated from the pain around her heart.

“And what do you want to do know?” Dave’s next question came “You want to keep it?”

“I don’t know…” she swallowed back her tears. She needed all of her strength not to fall into pieces right there “Mart? You don’t want to say anything?”

“Anita…” he sighed and looked at her still shocked and helplessly. The pain was visible in his eyes too.

“Sure… it’d be much simpler to you two, if I didn’t keep it, right?” the first bitter tears ran down her pale face.

“True” Dave admitted “No matter how we look at it, this baby is dangerous for us.”

“Mart?” she looked at him questioningly. She didn’t want to show it, but he was the last straw she could hold on to.

“I don’t know Anita… there are so many tumblers in this… If you keep it, it’ll be already suspicious, cuz you’re only 20. And people don’t have to be that smart to figure out everything. If we look at your trips, that you’ve disappeared for days with Dave and me… It wouldn’t be fair to us.”

She nodded shocked as fresh tears ran down her face “Good bye then…” she whispered on a whiny voice and without saying anything else she closed the door behind her. She felt as if they ripped out her heart and she left it there for them in the studio, letting them playing with it as they wished.

---

Dave sighed. He was confused – he couldn’t deal with this right now. Finally he looked at Martin “You think we did the right thing?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know… This… came out of the blue…” he ran his hands along his careworn face. He felt as if he got older with years within these few minutes. “After all one of us is its father…”

“But who is it?”

“You know well that I don’t know the answer for that either. It would have turned out just in the case, if she kept it. It’s true that it’s more comfortable for us this way, but for her? I’m worried Dave… she can break from this. And see? We let her down…”

Dave didn’t answer right away, he stared at the floor for a while “But she knows too that she cannot keep it! It’d ruin too many things. It’d ruin the work of a whole life. Maybe you’d let it, but I wouldn’t. The band isn’t just a part of my life, it became mine, a part of me and I’m not willing to sacrifice it for an accident! Mart, even you can’t ask this from me.”

“No, I can’t ask it. I can understand you too” he answered and his longing eyes got stuck on a half-empty whiskey bottle, which was left there by the guys a few days ago. Now he really wanted to drink a big glass of it to calm his nerves.

“Don’t tell me that you’d sacrifice Depeche for Anita.”

“Well, jail isn’t too alluring for me…” he sighed and turned away as he walked to one of the windows “So this was it?”

“It seems…” Dave sighed. No. Nothing lasts forever.

Martin couldn’t comprehend it. This whole thing came so quickly. He didn’t want to lose Anita. But he couldn’t imagine her to give a child to them. Although… maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be bad at all, if the circumstances were different… But no, this is the best they can do, even if his heart broke from it that their threesome and his love for her had to end this roughly and suddenly.

“I’ll miss her very much…” he whispered and the sun that peeked out from the running clouds lit a single tear on his face.

Dave didn’t say a word. He knew that sooner or later something catastrophic will happen. Although their relationship didn’t get public, everything shattered around him. He shook his head, took a deep breath then headed for the door. It was time to work. 


to be continued...

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2010.10.11. 15:04 Lylyan OMG! :'(