05 - I'll make you a believer
2011.04.09. 13:35
I’ll Make You a Believer
By: Rawiya
“I was jus thinkin’ that I…” I twiddled my thumbs trying hard to contain my excitement.
John hesitated on the phone then finally spoke. “Listen, I cannot talk long, Si is in the bathroom showerin’. Dave, I…I did feel somethin’ after our “exchange” however I’m not quite sure wot to do about it.”
Thinking of Lebon nude underwater gave me the willies. I shook my head a little before gathering my thoughts to respond to what he was saying. “John, I know it is difficult. Like you said, the situation cannot be more untimely than it is but isn’t that the great thing about falling for someone…”
John was silent for almost a minute. “Gahan, look,”
“Call me Dave, John,” I said with a grin.
“Dave, I did not say I was fallin; for yoo, I just mentioned that our kiss sparked somethin’,” I could hear the uneasiness in his voice. It would be a challenge to get him to believe in any concept of “us.”
“John, I know it did and yoo would not be calling me if yoo were not interested in doin’ somethin’, or betta yet doin’ me.” At that point, I felt I needed to be overconfident with him; it had always worked with Martin.
“Dave, even if I did want to sleep with yoo, it would not be possible.”
“Why the fuck not John,” I snapped, putting my legs on the coffee table. “Jus like yoo have worked out ways to be with that lug you call a boyfriend there ar ways yoo could be with me, and as I stated, if you did not care about wot happened this afternoon yoo would not be ringing me.” I leaned back against my sofa waiting for his answer.
Another moment of quiet from the other end; it was as if I were talking to a potential teen girlfriend. Then, “Yeah I know but Si’s wife knows and approves, yor wife would neva…”
At that point, I was losing patience. It was not acceptable that John wanted this to end before it even started. If that were the case, why even call me, torture me with excuses? The bottom line was he wanted this; he wanted ME. I interrupted his rambling…
“John, fuck, this will happen. Yoo want this and so do I. I’d ratha not have the wives aware to be completely honest but damnit John, there ar ways and we can find them, believe me.” I caught my breath, as I knew I sounded like a crazed fool but then again that is what he had reduced me to.
‘Damnit what has he done to me?’
As there was silence on both ends, I thought about the effect that our embrace had on my psyche. Here I was, trying to convince someone that I had long despised professionally to jump in bed with me. Why? Because I had longed for it over twenty years is why and Dave Gahan does not give up on anything.
I softened my stance whilst removing my legs from the furniture I had often used as a footrest. “John, jus so we don’t restate wots already been said, let me throw this angle at yoo.” I paused, thinking of the best approach in which to tell him how I felt. Although a pop tart, I had always felt outside of Rhodes, he was the most intelligent of them.
“Our embrace, though shortened and rudely disrupted was one that incited some feelings, my new friend. Those can occur at any time whether a person is in their twenties or late forties, does not matter John. The point is how will we react to them? Yor actions tell me that yoo want somethin’ to happen. I left an indelible impression on yoo and yoo know it. Now, I want to take it a step further. I desire to make yoo aware of wot could be somethin’ beautiful and wonderful John, different from what you’ve already had. If yoo would allow me to show yoo, I would be eternally grateful.” Again, I leaned back against the couch, smirking, knowing that his mind was working a mile a minute.
From the other end, yoo could hear a pin drop. No doubt, he was processing wot I had jus said. I hoped that he could hear how serious I was. This “moment” that I wanted with him meant so much to me. After twenty years of burying my feelings, it should.
“Alright Gahan, maybe yoo have a point. There is definitely truth to wot yoo speak of although I don’t want to believe it.” John cleared his throat.
Smugly, I smiled, knowing that I had convinced him just a little that this was worth exploring. The last part of his statement however, I did not care for and I let him know it. “Why not John, why? Because yor precious Lebon had yoo thinkin’ that he’s the only man for yoo…”
That time he stopped me abruptly from finishing. “Dave look, no more talking about Simon ok? This is between me and yoo. The reason I’m not completely buyin’ into this is simply because yoo have always hated me and Duran Duran Why should I believe that you cared in a romantic sense when seemingly yoo despised me?”
He had a point there. Still, I was determined to get him right where I wanted him. “John, that was on the surface. Wot else was I supposed to say in Star Hits and the Mirror, ‘Oh I love John Taylor I want to fuck his brains out?’ Wot does everyone say about keeping up appearances?”
He chuckled then murmured something I could not hear. “Shit, listen Dave. Si is coming out the bathroom. Save my number in yor cell. Maybe we can chat tomorrow.”
I sighed because really I could have gone on talking to him some more. “Okay John, I will. I would really like to see yoo…alone of course.”
John whispered, “I’ll see if I can get away. Goodbye”
Immediately after he finished, I heard nothing.
‘Fuck, I really had more to say. Was I convincing enough?’
In disgust, I threw my phone on the love seat opposite the couch.
“Fuck!” I grabbed another smoke out of the pack. Once I had lit it, I leaned back wondering about our conversation. “Goddamn yoo John Taylor, John fuckin’ Taylor!”
As I stewed thinking about Lebon most likely doing what I had been wanting to for two decades, I pondered over what this encounter had done to me.
‘I’ve gone mad after a few kisses, caresses, and groping.’ Seemingly, although it was so short lived it felt so good.
Was it the feeling of kissing someone new? Maybe, however, I did not want to dismiss it that way. I had longed for John; my actions said that.
Nonetheless, what about one of the last things he had said, ’Yoo hated me all those years, why should I believe that yoo had any designs on me?’
That was true but was not real, or was it?
Just as I was about to collect my thoughts some more, I heard the door opening.
“David, I thought I told you no smokin’ in the bloody house!” The voice of my wife broke my concentration.
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