02 - Bewitched by the Bayou (2/4)
2015.01.27. 17:41
The inner struggle of the boy was clear to Adama’s blue eyes and he let him rant. He knew the boy needed to get this out of his system so he just listened patiently while he handed a bowl of soup to him. Although his demeanor stayed calm, behind that mask his heart was a little broken for the boy and all he had to go through while growing up among these people. Adama wanted to sigh because of human stubbornness. The Elder who really listened to the Shaman’s words about Tomek was still the only one who was more patient and kind to the boy. Adama knew the time was near that would bring big changes. It left him with ambivalent feelings, which meant that the changes would have both good and bad affects on all of them, and Tomek was the key. But he couldn’t see clearly yet, so he would really have to ask the Spirits to understand the future ahead of them. But for now, he had to deal with other matters. Like explaining things to the boy who was still wrapped up in his self-hatred and hurt feelings. He knew it’d be a difficult task to lead him out of his darkness, but the Shaman wanted to help. After all that was one of his purposes on this world and as he watched the fierce boy throw the soup away – which would be considered an utter rudeness towards the tribe’s Shaman by anyone who saw it – and storm out, he began to feel some faint connection with his spirit. He couldn’t understand that either as he was standing there, but he knew the Spirits would guide him to find out when the time was right. Now he had to give some space to the boy. He knew he would come back eventually for the answers the Shaman couldn’t give him because of running away.
He knew he also had to give some answers to the tribe meanwhile so he emerged from his tent with a straight back, his height and the way he carried himself radiating power and demanding respect and attention. He saw many hanging around closer to his tent than they usually would dare and Adama could feel their curiosity clearly. The Elders drew nearer when they saw the powerful Shaman appear and ask what’d happened to Tomek and why he was yelling and running away, showing nothing but disrespect. Adama explained to them the accident and that the boy would need his assistance to restore the Balance. When they started to protest, one cold look of the Shaman stopped them mid-sentence. They knew they were dancing on the edge of angering him and questioning his actions – which would clearly anger the Great Spirits. Adama told them that much too. Furthermore, he reminded them not to treat the boy unjust, especially now that the bad spirit was attached to him because it would bring further problems on the tribe. Loud enough for everyone nearby to hear he reminded them of everyone having a purpose in this tribe and by hindering that purpose would be a foolish mistake to do, resulting in angering the Shaman. He could see the shock and understanding on the faces of the people as they could read between the lines. It meant that he put Tomek under his protection, an act unheard of before, but because it was what the Spirits and the Shaman wanted, they didn’t protest anymore.
Knowing that the boy would be probably away for a few more hours on the top of that tree where a hawk was keeping an eye on him, the Shaman agreed to take part of the ceremony around the bone fire where he had to bless the successful new hunters of the tribe. He watched Napa boast with pride about how he killed the great boar. The Shaman didn’t say anything to that but when it was Napa’s turn for the blessing, Adama looked deep into his eyes, letting the boy feel his powers and that he knew the truth. “Be careful, Napa. Your real actions are known at all times. If not by me then by our wise ancestors. Deceit and pride can be dangerous. Don’t anger the Spirits,” he warned him, making him cower for a few seconds. He hoped he got through to him, but Adama knew it was up to Napa if he took the advice. The Elders were observant too, so they knew about the arrow wounds on the boar that was roasting now for the whole tribe to eat from on the feast. Not wanting to fuel any more anger towards the blonde boy, Adam went along with not telling the others about that. He knew Tomek would have other opportunities to prove himself and that it wasn’t his time yet to claim that important kill.
By the time the feast was over and most of the tribe went to sleep, Adama was sitting in the grass, not far from his tent, meditating and talking to the Spirits for a while. Afterwards he was just watching and listening to the calm night. He could sense the boy approaching him even before he could hear him. “Are you ready to listen now?” he simply asked once he was standing next to him and with an elegant move of his hand he offered a place by his side to sit.
As he sat atop the trees, Tomek could see the bonfire roaring below, the ceremony taking place. His brothers were becoming an official member of the tribe… every single one but him. Tomek wondered briefly what it would be like if he had simply trapped a rabbit, or maybe two, and offered it. But he dispelled the thoughts, continuing to watch the scene below him. When Napa now stood in front of Shaman Adama, Tomek was surprised to see him slightly unsure and much more docile than when he walked over to the powerful spiritualist. What had the Shaman mentioned to his oldest boastful brother? He watched each killed offering be accepted then their Shaman seemingly give a speech. The blonde sat up high still, now thinking all that he had done as his brothers and sisters, Elders, and the Shaman ate from the boar below. He almost wanted to vomit when he realized how terribly he behaved, and how disrespectful he was to the Shaman who only wanted to help him and did nothing but give to help him feel better.
It was only when everyone seemed to retreat into their tents for the night that Tomek decided it was safe enough for him to climb down. He needed to speak with Shaman Adama and beg for as much as he could for the Shaman's forgiveness, and try to regain some ground with the only one who could help him. Something deep inside of him, something that was not the Evil Spirit lurking deep on the inside, told him he needed to make amends. He took the gentle breeze that rattled the leaves upon the trees as a token of a good omen, and the blonde hoped that maybe, just maybe, this is what the Spirits were encouraging him to do. After all, he had seen into their world. Even though it was only for a brief amount of time and maybe just a tiny piece of it, but it was still something in their world. The blonde hoped that maybe now his mother would look down and watch over him from the Great Clouds.
But would Shaman Adama still see him? That was the question. So, with a thick swallow, the blonde climbed the rest of the way down, now being as quiet as he could possibly be, Tomek inched closer and closer to the Shaman's tent. He was almost afraid of what he would find there, but as much as he wanted to turn and run, Tomek ignored the Dark Spirit inside of him, and went to the Shaman although his shoulders slumped more as his feet dragged with every step closer to them. Seeing the Shaman sit upon the grass, Tomek stood silently, but it was Adama's voice and gesture for him to sit that got him moving. Instead of moving to sit, Tomek stayed in his spot near the tent, and sat upon his knees, his hands clutched into fists upon his lap, head hanging low, as if he was bowing to the Shaman.
"Shaman Adama… I have shown you a great disrespect. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me. I will accept any punishment you see fit, for I am not worth your grace, time, and compassion for what I have done to you." Tomek wiped at his eyes when they began to fill with water again, but he did not let himself cry. For if the Shaman decided that all hope was lost for him and that the Spirits had lost their faith in him, he would be strong and accept his fate. "I am ready to listen now, Shaman Adama. Thank you for all that you have done…"
The boy’s regretful words found their way to the Shaman in the dark and silent night with ease. For a long minute he didn’t answer just watched from the corner of his eye as the boy was kneeling in that position, hoping for forgiveness. “I accept your apology, Tomek. Now stand up. Come, join me and eat your share of the boar while I answer your questions as much as I can at the moment,” he nodded, the light breeze playing with a few braids in his long hair. Seemingly from nowhere Adama presented a bowl with the roasted meat of the boar and offered it to the boy. He waited until he took it and settled next to him. He didn’t look at Tomek but at the starry sky as he started talking.
“Before you ran off, I didn’t have the chance to answer your questions. Firstly, you are no toy to the Great Spirits. None of us are. As I’ve said, we all have a purpose. I understand that you are hurt, confused and maybe even scared because you are different from your brothers and sisters. It is true, you are unique, Tomek. You can look at it as a curse or a blessing, like I did when I started showing that I was a Shaman. Your young mind is clouded by all the negativity the members of the tribe showed towards you and that is why you look at yourself as a curse,” he started explaining calmly. “You aren’t the demon of your white father, even if you resemble him more. You have your mother’s fighting spirit and most importantly her blood. Blood is strength and magic. Blood is much more important than appearances. The way you look is one of your purposes. I conversed with the Great Spirits while you were sulking up on the top of that tree and they let me see clearer in some things about you. The reason why you look so different is because it’s a way to teach the whole tribe to look deeper into things and people. Because you might look like your white father, but on the inside you are like your mother, a true warrior of the tribe. I’ve watched you stalk that boar. You are strong and cunning, using your skills and your surroundings to your advantage. You are not weak at all. You just have to trust yourself more and turn a blind eye and ear on the way the others try to hurt you,” he said and finally turned his head to look into the huge brown eyes. Now he had the boy’s undivided attention.
“And since you are strong and stubborn, you cannot weaken our tribe. No, you are here to teach them about courage, strength and compassion. I admit that they are a little slow with understanding that. I’ve been trying to explain that to them for years now. I am sorry too, Tomek. Maybe I should’ve tried harder,” he sighed and briefly put his warm hand on a narrow shoulder to squeeze it. He lightly lifted a brow when he felt a small and warm sparkle run up on his tattooed forearm when they touched. There was a thoughtful expression on his painted face when he pulled his hand back. Maybe the Spirits didn’t show him everything yet in his visions. “It’s true that my first vision was about you. I could tell your mother that she was carrying you before she knew herself. I saw you in her womb. Now I’m starting to understand the reason, but I’ll have to talk to the Spirits more about it before telling you what I suspect. You aren’t ready for that knowledge yet. It’s nothing bad, though, before you’d start to worry,” he smiled at him a bit. It was the first time he let his clear blue eyes admire the beauty of the pale boy under the starlight.
With a look of pure shock on his face, Tomek slowly rose to his feet, a little uneasy. The blonde was used to having a punishment over the smallest things, so to not have to face another despite how deeply wrong he was, it unsettled the blonde. However, deep down on the inside, Tomek was happy that he would not be facing a punishment from the Shaman and still wanted him by his side, he found himself questioning why it made him so happy though. As he quietly moved to sit next to the Shaman, not too close yet not too far, the blonde was a bit apprehensive about taking the piece of the roasted boar. To Tomek, he felt like he didn't deserve it. For he had done nothing but weakened the beast, making it easier for his brother to kill. Instead of facing it head-on like a great warrior, Tomek ran like a child. The Dark Spirit in him stirred as his thoughts sank lower, but a deep rumble from his stomach had Tomek’s cheeks coloring. "T-thank you Shaman Adama," the blonde murmured quietly, hating that his fair skin easily could show when he blushed, his hands taking the bowl of the boar. As he ate, Tomek didn't fail to notice that "his share" wasn't at all what he was used to. In fact, if he was correct, Tomek believed Shaman Adama gave him the best piece of the meat instead of the worst.
The blonde ate quickly (although quietly) as the Shaman began to speak. He resembled he was done eating by the way he conspicuously tried not to suck the juice off his fingers too loud. The blonde listened to Adama as he spoke about Tomek's body being a way to teach his tribe members on an important lesson. Tomek didn't really know how to feel about that, but he sat his hands down in his lap, his doe-brown eyes now staring openly almost, searching for more as the Shaman spoke more and more. He wasn't... going to be someone the tribe regretted having. He was going to be someone. He had a purpose, a reason… the blonde visibly relaxed more and more, although the Spirit's voice on the inside was trying to take this feeling away from him. For now, Tomek focused on it. "Please no!" the blonde slightly shouted urgently, almost reaching out to grab onto the Shaman as he apologized. Again blushing, Tomek sat with his knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. "You've done all that you could… I could not ask for more. Thank you Shaman." Tomek meant it, even if the spirit on the inside was scoffing, mocking him, Tomek meant every word he said.
Slightly jumping when Shaman Adama's hand touched his shoulder, Tomek felt the strangest sensation run through him, almost like a ray of the warmth of the sun. Tomek just shrugged it off on needing comfort. After all, only the Shaman was still helping him now. Although that alone raised millions of questions in his head. Why now? Why after this great hunt? What was going to happen that only the Shaman (and maybe the Elders) knew? Tomek's head began to hurt even more so as questions popped up after the Shaman's last word. "Why can't you tell me your suspicions now Shaman? Who do I have to tell that would believe me? What could I possibly not be ready for if it is not anything bad?" When it seemed the Shaman wasn't going to budge on answering these questions, Tomek sighed and apologized again, this time moving to lay back upon the grass, his eyes jumping from star-to-star.
"Can...can you tell me what my mother was like Shaman? Would she have loved me if she were here today?" Tomek frowned at the thought of growing up alone, playing with only sticks and dirt as he watched his brothers and sisters play with their mothers or fathers and the toys they fashioned for games. He thought of how their cousins from a neighboring allied tribe came over and how not a single parent could find it within themselves to take him in.
Tomek now turned on his side, curling into a small ball as he remembered what it was like when the children came of age to begin learning; the Elders having to teach him privately due to not a single teacher of theirs believing they could do it. Tomek knew that wasn't the reason, they simply didn't want him. The more he thought, the more he remembered. None of the previous protectors/hunters wanted him interacting with their daughters, having to sneak off to just have his first kiss which ended up with him being taunted by his brothers and pitied by his sisters.
"Shaman.." the blonde whimpered out, curled in a tight ball, tears beginning to spill behind his now tightly closed eyelids. "Would it be so much trouble to simply ask the Spirits to allow one, just one person to love me? Would it be so bad if I had that one? I promise I'd cherish them… I am just tired of being alone... or is this Dark One I'm cursed with to be the only one who needs and loves me?" The blonde now cried openly, his hands grasping the grass tightly in his fists, the pain he felt from being alone escaping him with every sob. He was tired of crying, but it seemed this day tested all of his limits, each test the blonde failing.
It was as clear as the midday sun that the boy was surprised for not receiving a punishment, but Adama gave that only to those who really deserved it. Not this innocent boy, who has already been through a lot. The dark-haired man didn’t say anything about saving the best bites from the boar to him. After all, it was his prey and kill, even if Napa stole that glory from him. While talking to Tomek, the Shaman could feel the Dark Spirit listening and trying to whisper harmful words to the boy, but he could also feel how his wounded spirit was resisting. Even so, he knew that they should start working together on removing the demon very soon. It was a strong presence, tainting the boy and the longer Adama watched him, the stronger he started to feel the need to keep him safe. It made him think to himself deeper about his suspicion, but he could ask the Spirits later. For now he just let himself rediscover the delicate but pained features of the familiar face. He started to see him in a different light.
He smiled a little from the flood of questions the young boy asked him then watched him lay back on the grass, remembering and sinking deeper into his darkness again. That made Adama frown lightly. “Sit up and look at me, Tomek,” he asked but his tone – although kind and calm – didn’t leave room for objections. When the teary brown eyes met the clear blue ones (which was usually a distinctive mark of Shamans), he took a deep breath and held out a big and warm hand with his palm up. “First you have to learn patience and find peace in yourself, Tomek. Trying to rush Fate rarely leads to good things,” he said seriously as he glimpsed down at his own offered palm and he made a gesture with his eyes for him to take it. He could feel the Dark Spirit stronger now that the boy felt so desperate and hungry for love, for the simplest human contact. He was offering him the latter… and maybe to some degree the former too.
“I know it is easier said than done, but I’m here. Let me help you. Take my hand if you want me to guide you in getting to know yourself. There are so much that you don’t know about yourself yet. I am sorry that you had such a hard time growing up among us, but I don’t pity you. It made you the strong spirit you are today. And despite the unexpected turn of events, today you became a man too, just like your brothers,” he said seriously while waiting for Tomek’s decision about accepting his help or not. “I will help you with the Dark One and bless you even if you don’t want what I offered to you. The choice is yours to make. It is up to you if you continue living your life in the shadow of the tribe, or open your mind with my help to see clearer. Who knows, maybe the one you desire to love so badly is closer than you might think,” he smiled warmly at him again, waiting patiently.
Slowly bringing himself to calm down, Tomek sat up as he was asked by Adama, the blonde looking into his electric sky blue eyes, falling deep into the depths of them before he nodded lightly, a heavy sigh escaping him. He took the Shaman's hand, squeezing it tightly as he now knew there was no other way to move forward. He needed the Shaman's help and even though the Dark One on the inside was rallying, almost roaring his denial, Tomek just gripped the spiritual one's hand tighter and tighter. The odd warmth from earlier was there, but now in their hands where their skin touched. Tomek wanted to ask the Shaman if he felt it to or if it was just him, but he went against it, unsure of it being the Dark One trying to make the Shaman's touch burn so he would stay away.
The blonde soon began to feel very worn out pretty quickly. If this is what it was going to be like, Tomek didn't see himself being able to last very long. Tomek silently listened and thanked the Shaman for finding him worthy of a blessing, even though Tomek himself didn't understand what it was that made him worthy of it. It was going to be a very trying time not to continuously ask Adama what it was he was meant for or what he could do to appease the Spirits.
"Forgive me Shaman Adama… the pain of this day have just weakened my hopes and strengths. I know it is up to me if I want to be worthy of my blessing. Thank you Shaman. For everything." The blonde blinked owlishly, wanting nothing more than to get some rest. "Good night." With that, Tomek let the Shaman's hand go, upset of again losing that warm touch, but he supposed there would be other chances to be close to the older male considering he was to be cleansed as much as possible.
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Part 3
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