Chapter 4

“TETHERED / to a scene I / TREASURE / can you help me?
I / SEVER/ god it's perfect, it's / NEVER / really perfect…”

He put some neutral guitar music on the stereo while passing it on their way to the kitchen then while Corey started gathering stuff for making breakfast, Jim busied himself with making at least their coffee.

Some bacon and eggs should do it for now. The little man was familiar in the kitchen and keeping himself busy now was the best idea. Plus he prepared food for his mate. It was a bit strange though. With Pauly they were practicing BDSM for years and the big man looked after his needs. But what even in that moment came natural for Corey was a new ground. The domesticated BDSM life was what they were really slipping into with Jim. The kinda life when the roles just barely switch off. Corey knew people living like that. This requires an even deeper bond and level of trust and honesty. He trusts Jim. But maybe Jim should not trust him that much... Meanwhile the food got ready at least…

Corey’s steaming mug was waiting for him on the table while Jim took careful sips of his own and checked his phone answering a few text messages from the guys. The rest could wait. After all he was still on a mission, although he was kinda lost at the moment about what kind of ways he could make things easier for his…

“What are we now to each other, Cor?” The question that’s been on his mind since the bathroom simply tumbled out of his mouth before he could really think about it. But oh well, the cat was out of the bag…

“Well... That depends. Want this? The connection, the relationship, the sex… All this deeper sense of life with me included?” Corey asked sitting down and cuddling his mug. Jim was all new to this stuff. He doesn’t know the signs. That’s why. He sighed sipping from the coffee. He couldn't help to feel it. He even had to squeeze his eyes shut to not let it show. Jim marked him. Took care of him and showed more… He showed loving in his actions. He is just new to this. It's not like he doesn't want Corey. The singer is not rejected... He is over-fucking-thinking again!!! “After all... You've marked me… So you decide,” he added low.

Jim’s immediate response that popped up in his mind was a big fat “yes”, but he knew he had to quickly think this over, because a lot was depending on how and what he was going to say next. Taking a sip from his coffee to buy himself some time, Jim looked at Corey. Really looked at him. He didn’t miss the light flinch on his face as he squeezed his eyes shut or the slight tremors running through his often restless and fucking tense body. The long-haired man could also see the subtle return of the “over-thinking lines” again.

“Previously I never allowed myself to think deeply into what has really started between us in that dressing room or even before that and what we went through until now. But it’s time to face the fact that no matter what, I want you in my life. I like being around you wherever we are. You… make me feel things I like feeling and for fuck’s sake, you always find your way to make me do things I’d never do otherwise. You are a huge part of my life already, Corey. I trust you and love you, man. I think I’m more than a bit in love with you too. And maybe I’m a selfish bastard, but the thought of you being mine… it’s fucking with my mind… because I like that idea a lot…” he started on a calm and even tone but the more he spoke, the brighter the light got in his hazel eyes.

“I need you to understand two things though… One, I’ll never want to replace Pauly. I understand that he was and will be the most special and precious being to you. I respect and accept that, Corey. I truly do. And two, I can never be Pauly for you either. I’m not him and never will. I’m me, you know. Good ol’ Jimmy…” he smiled a bit then took a deep breath and looked Corey in the eye deadly serious. “But yes. I want you as mine. I guess that mark was my subconscious telling what I’ve been wanting for a long while now. You being mine.”

“Are you sure? I mean... Like you said, we know each other way fucking much and so you know what I am and how I can be. I kinda always loved you too Jim, more than a friend but a bit less than a partner, but the chance was always there. It's so soon after... all what happened but it doesn't feel wrong at all ‘cause of these things. I feel good with you and have been naturally drawn to you for decades. So...” the younger man was talking to his coffee till now, but lifted his dark blue eyes at Jim. “I want it too. And don't worry. It's... It's not the same… Paul was different. We were different with him. And I could never do that…” his voice failed him finally. He wanted to add that he could never make Jim just a substitute and use him like that. But as he just looked down, shaking and taking deep breaths to calm himself it probably sounded like the thing he could never do is to replace Paul with someone.

“Yes, I know you quite well and know how you can be. That doesn’t change my answer. I think we are good for each other.” From an outsider’s point of view that was true. It wasn’t only about Jim helping Corey through the shit and everything they’ve got through during the years. It was about the short man helping Jim in many different ways too. “I’m not sure you realized it before, but you’d taught a shit ton of things to me too since we’ve known each other. As I said, I had done a lot of new things I could never dream of doing before – all thanks to you, Cor. And I love you for that too, you know. You’ve shown me how to be more confident about my playing and writing. How to be more open… and you keep introducing me to new shit. Like this BDSM world. They all helped me grow and I’m grateful for that, man. I’ll never forget these things.”

Pausing Jim ran a hand through his damp hair, messing the drying waves up a bit without noticing. “I can feel that special connection between us. I always could,” he admitted. “I was just as drawn to you as you to me. I want to explore that further. And you have no fucking idea how glad I am to hear that this doesn’t feel like… weird to you so soon after…” he trailed off. “I was worried and felt a bit guilty about it, I admit. And I’m glad you understand my two points,” he nodded thankfully and paused for a few seconds, contemplating if he should ask what he wanted or not. Finally his curiosity won. “You say you two were different from you and me. How?”

“In many things. You have your on and off thing with booze too like I have, but you know I can sink lower into that. And Paul had his pills. We are addicts. With the unbalanced emotions and the steady depression behind it all. What we are now getting into slowly is a BDSM relationship. Because you look after me and in this situation after… all... we’re practically living together and you look after my needs and I want to make you feel good and kinda happy to show how grateful I am. Because I hugely am, Jim...” Corey looked up deep into the hazel eyes. Since he started talking like an automatic speaker this look was the first thing that held emotions, and a shit ton of them too.

“And… with Pauly, it was about letting the pressure out. We were fighting a lot too ‘cause one of us was always down or relapsing or something. We were best friends and soulmates in our joint chaos, and the sex we had happened to be BDSM and rough ‘cause we needed to feel more than the average,” the singer looked down again and shrugged at the end. “What you and I have was always steadier even as an occasional thing. With him, the raw feelings kept it together and on the edge at the same time. So… I don't know if you can even get something out of what I'm fucking babbling about. But you will understand if you read after it, or if you had done it already about how these work in practice.”

Jim nodded along a few times while his friend was talking. This was the first time he was open about Paul and the nature of the relationship he had with him. The more Corey talked, the more Jim understood. It was as if watching the puzzle pieces falling into place. Not just about them, but Corey and Jim too. Returning that deep look, the tall man wasn’t able to look away. The singer’s eyes were telling him nearly as much as his words. Swallowing hard he tried to calm his suddenly jumping heart. He would’ve lied if he said it didn’t feel good that Corey was grateful to him.

“Thank you. Now I understand a lot of things better. I know it’s hard for you to talk about these things, but as you said, I want to look after you. I wanted to do that since day one. It’s just how I’m wired, I guess. I promise I’ll read more into the different kind of BDSM relationships. I like it where we’re heading, you know. I think this is actually what we both need at the moment. And I’m not talking just about the mind-blowing sex, but the actual relationship part of it too,” he stared into his coffee mug too, lightly frowning as he was trying to express his thoughts. It was true. He saw a possible support in this relationship, which Jim himself needed too. Then he took a long sip from the lukewarm beverage. “It’s a lot to process, but I’ll try my best,” he glimpsed up at the singer. “I want us to work. But for now we should eat before breakfast gets cold,” he smiled lightly at his lover.

“Yeah...” the singer nodded, clearly lost in his own mind. He has to take better care of Jim too. Especially if he really wants to try this relationship thing with him. Until now he hadn't even thought about the true nature of the bond he and Paul shared. It was need. Yeah, the truth was that. The need to belong, to not feel alone while being fucked up, to belong to someone so positive and uplifting and loving as Paul was. To at least at times feel worthy of being with someone who accepts all his failures. And he was there to support Paul when the seemingly endless positive energy of him ran low. That alone was an addiction to them both. Paul wanted to get clean of him…

Corey got so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize his tears falling as he was eating automatically.

The food was excellent, but no surprise in that. Jim knew from first hand that Corey could make a mean eggs and bacon. Still, the guitarist couldn’t completely focus on his food because his mind was running a mile a minute, trying to process all the things he’d just learned about himself, themselves and Corey and Paul. Damn, he could’ve used something stronger than coffee, but he knew he couldn’t. Especially not in front of Corey.

Near finishing his food he looked up and noticed Corey’s silent tears. The sight itself made his heart sink and abandon his food to walk around the table and sit down next to his friend, sliding a hand on his back then up to his nape, keeping it there for silent support. “I’m sorry if it was too much to talk about. But we had to see clearly, you know.”

“I know,” Corey nodded slowly and stopped eating just staring ahead until his tears dried out. “Can we have a drink? Please? Just one? You can do anything with me I swear!” he groaned rubbing his face in his hands. He felt his head and whole being would explode from all the messed up swirling emotions he was feeling.

Jim quickly thought it trough. If he gave in, things could get more difficult, but on the other hand the sweet calling of alcohol was ringing in his own ears too. Yeah, he had his problems with booze and coke too in the past. It got nearly out of hand – there was a reason why he tried to kinda keep his distance from Corey for a while – and even nowadays sometimes it got hard to resist alcohol. One just had to remember the night he’d found Corey so fucking messed up in that van. And since then they both had some serious revelations about each other and themselves… Not to mention that looking into Corey’s clearly suffering eyes was something that was hurting Jim like fuck.

“Okay… alright. Just this once. I’m gonna drink with you. Let me just… go out for a minute. I’ll be back soon. Stay put,” he ordered without noticing it and with that he pressed a kiss on the top of the singer’s head while getting up and on his way out he grabbed his keys and wallet. Luckily there was a store like two blocks away so it took him less than ten minutes to get back with two bottles of Jack. Not bothering with glasses he simply pushed one of the bottles into the singer’s hand and uncapped his own, offering the bottom half of the bottle to clink it. “Fucking cheers, man…”

Corey sat there blinking at the empty spot where Jim used to be. He couldn't believe it for that ten minutes that Jim gave in. He already felt better physically from even the thought of drinking. And that was a huge warning, and he knew that. He had to be careful. For himself and for Jim too. 

But he clinked his bottle to Jim's with a happy "cheers" and gulped down a lot from the bottle. “Thanks, man. It's a lifesaver now.”

“I know. I need this probably just as much,” the tall man said after he took a good pull of his own bottle. “Let’s move this to the living room or something,” he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lighter from the table. He slid them in his pants’ pocket he’d put on before leaving for the shopping. He took Corey’s hand and pulled him along, not giving him any time to object. Not like Jim would doubt that Corey would follow along. Not after giving him the alcohol he so needed. He knew it was dangerous waters they were diving in, but considering everything that’d happened so fast in the past days, he thought it was understandable to give in. Just once…

***

The singer giggled as he padded after Jim. Being a drinker and not drinking for a while had its advantages. Meaning that the alcohol kicks in super fast. Corey was already light-headed and flushed-cheeked as he dropped himself on the couch and took a big swig from his bottle. “Put on something more... energetic will ya, man!” he laughed. The endless acoustic fiddle was not fitting his mood as he lit his cigarette. Boy he needed this buzz in his head to numb all those bad thoughts.

Jim chuckled under his nose too as he dropped down next to Corey and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. Not giving a fuck if it was right or wrong, he switched the music to something more hardcore and fished out his cigarette and lighter from his pocket too to light one. Inhaling the smoke he leaned back on the couch, thigh touching Corey’s, bottle in his other hand from which he quickly took a good swig before talking. “Good enough for you, Corey?”

This was nice. They were just chilling, numbing their minds to forget all the shit. It was just Corey and Jim hanging out on a Friday morning, drinking and smoking… getting wasted without giving a fuck about the world.

“Much, much better,” Corey nodded puffing on his cig. Some much needed rest and hard metal always brightened his mood. He only had his boxers on still and looking over Jim, he had a button down shirt and jeans. Somehow the singer always got more controlling and demanding while drinking. Looking over the tall man humming to himself he just sipped more from the Jack. “So... And what about you, big guy? What you like in bed? Hmm?” he asked teasingly.

Jim looked over at Corey and took a good drag from his cig before answering. “Me?” he drank some too. “I guess I like a lot of things from vanilla to obviously hard fucking… Depends on my mood, you know. I think… sometimes I like to give the reins to my partner. Other times… I’m starting to understand that I like being in control too… Quite the paradox, huh?” he chuckled and drank some more, already starting to feel the strong booze in his head and it was a very fucking welcomed feeling.

“You're saying that you like it all then?” Corey pushed that "all" meaningfully. “We have to get to a more detailed list though,” he chuckled and stubbed out his cig in the astray and turning to Jim he ran his fingertips down his chest.

The other man lightly shivered from the touch on his chest as he kept an eye on Corey but drank at the same time before answering. “I guess I do… Although I was never fucked,” he stated. “I liked to do the fucking. Let it be girls or boys,” he shrugged. “Soft or hard, whatever the situation needed.” He was thankful for the booze in that moment, because otherwise Jim wasn’t sure he would’ve stated these intimate things so boldly.

“You weren’t? I thought you went all the way when we were forming the band and that drummer guy was all over you,” the singer laughed drinking more and patting the chest of his mate. “And if I remember right, and even drunk or else I remember things,” he chuckled “you said you are curious and experimenting. Now you surprised me. Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome Virgin Guy,” he laughed again but turned close, pressing his almost naked body to Jim's and pressed a kiss to the soft lips too.

“Well… we did some things, yeah… but in the end I was the one who fucked him, not the other way around,” Jim chuckled a bit, building a nice buzz meanwhile. He wanted to laugh again from Corey’s endearment, but then he felt his lips on his and the need to drink subsided in favor of returning the singer’s kiss. It made his whole body tingle again, which was something to say after two mind-blowing orgasms before breakfast. “I wasn’t ready, I guess,” he mumbled onto Corey’s lips as he sucked and bit on them, their tongues meeting every now and then. “Why you so interested?” he asked teasingly.

“Hmm... I'm a curious guy… Always want to try out... stuff,” Corey giggled onto his lips and popped the first two buttons open on Jim's shirt, pushing his warm hand under it to caress the soft skin, moaning as he basically sucked out the tongue of his mate. “Now you're ready?” he asked after pulling back to pant on his lips.

Jim had to tighten his grip on the neck of his half-empty bottle not to drop it. It was too fucking easy to get himself lost when Corey was kissing and touching him. What the hell was this man doing to him? Yeah, he had male lovers before, but none could compare to this one fucking amazing man pressed against his side and stroking and kissing him just the right way. How was Corey able to make him feel like a teen again? While they were both very far from that. They were fucking grown men, for fuck’s sake!

That one question though… It made Jim think for a sec and turned his head away to take a good swig from his Jack – liquid courage, as they say. “Dunno. Probably,” he grabbed Corey’s wrist to lead his hand down between his legs so the singer could feel Jim’s answer there.

Corey smirked smugly and grabbed onto the hard long meat tight, pulling on it a few times and moved his hand lower, trying to see how Jim reacts while he trapped those soft lips again in a heated kiss.

The hand on his trapped cock was a welcomed feeling. Something the guitarist was familiar with at least. Though he wished he didn’t have his jeans on so he could feel an immediate contact with Corey’s hand. Fuck, he was getting rock-hard again…

Returning the kiss he let the strong buzz help him get lost in the exciting sensations after putting his bottle down on a small side table next to the couch they were half-lying on. The thought of opening his legs for someone – even if it was Corey – was a bit scary but exciting at the same time. Though he couldn’t voice any of his thoughts so he’d decided to help the booze and Corey himself carry him along and when the singer’s fingers slid on his jeans-covered balls and lower, Jim groaned and bucked against the hand encouragingly.

The smaller man was not new to such games. His fingers traced the lines of the once again tightening balls. His fingers moved lower and traced the lines of Jim's thighs lower, testing if he can make those long legs open up. The thought of those legs around his waist was something that made his aroused growls escape his throat and bite down on Jim's lip. His head was spinning but through his drunken state and all he knew Jim very well, his self-consciousness and his issues with venturing into new grounds. So he pulled back from the kiss and kept caressing the guitarist down there. “Spit your thoughts, babe… Only what you want to.”

There was no denying that Jim was aroused yet again and that hand between his legs and on his thighs felt more than good. He wanted it to happen, yet he was fighting with his mixed up feelings while kissing Corey back as if there was no tomorrow. He came close to this in the past, but danced back and – as he said – ended up fucking his partner instead. He was lucky, because the guys he had had sex with were either submissive or versatile and Jim could play it off with acting as if a wave of dominance or something washed over him. But in truth he had his doubts. It was as if he was waiting for something – or someone. Maybe Corey.

Even if it was Corey, everything Jim had learned in such a short time and the possibility of being taken by the one man he’s been fantasizing about doing this with were overwhelming. “I… I think I want it. I want it to be you… to do it…” he said on a breathless voice while his hips were bucking up against the exploring fingers, the tip of his trapped cock already starting to leave a damp spot on his worn jeans. “I’m almost ready… I swear. Just… give me some time? I want to be taken by you… I do, believe me…” he panted, all Corey’s actions driving him crazy with lust because Jim was already imagining how it would feel, even if he felt kinda insecure about his body and the whole situation as it was brand new territory to him, which he usually approached with caution. “Can you understand?” he opened his hazy eyes to look into the singer’s from close, silently begging that he could.

All Corey could hear first was that Jim wanted him to do it… How come? How come someone as great and gorgeous would want that serious step taken with him... His head was spinning and he was grinning like mad. They were not teens. With time these lines get wider to jump over. He knew. He asked ‘cause he knew his best friend way too well. His heart melted now, though... 

“Sure I do! You can tell me anything. Even no. Or that you need time. If you really want it to happen, we can take it slow… Like step by step to let you get more confident in this? You want that Jimmy?” As he spoke his hands moved up and gently and reassuringly smoothed the length of the hard meat and Jim's hips. “You are safe with me always, you know that?”

“Fuck…” Jim pressed his eyes shut as he nodded a few times. Yes, he fucking knew and for some reason even that knowledge was getting damn overwhelming. His left hand slid up on Corey’s lower back, fingers digging into his flesh lightly to hold on to him as if he was afraid there was no stopping if he tipped over and spiraled downwards. Which would probably come one day anyways. But not for now. Corey seemed to truly understand him and that made the guitarist sigh with relief.

“You’re safe with me too, Cor…” he finally found his slightly-out-of-breath voice and pulled the other man closer by his nape until they were nearly nose-to-nose. “And yes, I want it. Thank you…” he whispered on the swollen lips he’s been chewing on previously. His own was throbbing from a few passionate bites too, but he loved it.

Maybe to kinda cover up his insecurities and to prove that he did want Corey and that he was nearly ready, he pushed him back on the couch until the singer was lying on his back, his big body covering him while they were kissing again. This situation reminded Jim of that backstage night where they had ended up in a similar position. But this time Jim’s mouth started moving south, maybe wanting to give something in return for his lover’s understanding and patience. Judged by the sounds his lips around Corey’s freed cock seemed like quite a good idea to do so.

Corey wanted to protest. He really, really fucking wanted to speak and tell Jim that he didn't need to, and he was okay to stop, and so much more… But when he opened his mouth – right when Jim's closed around his erection – all that came out of it were some moans and hisses. The man was a pro for sure, the singer only expected the well-known perfectionist to be a specialist in giving blow jobs. As that tongue rolled around his length and folded it… Fuck... He surely had received a shit ton of blow jobs but this had to be the best of all, ever!!! And that was not only the booze talking. His mate sucking him off lovingly, yet roughly enough for his taste to get his cock jerking and leaking in mere fucking seconds... Damn it James.

Corey was left breathless and overly aroused very fast, and as they were busy before too, he knew he wasn't going to last for long now anyway. His hands caressed the long hair of the other man, looking at the vision before him with his heart melting and Corey only could think and mumble low about how fucking fantastic and beautiful it was...

That damned taste… It got to Jim every fucking time he could taste the singer on his tongue and it only encouraged him to pleasure him as best as he could. Yeah, he knew how to make a man feel good while getting head, but Corey has always been special in this department too. And Jim just realized that as he put in a few extra moves, his long fingers playing with the singer’s balls and the sensitive skin behind them, his tongue and lips playing sensually but at the same time wildly on the hard shaft as he took more.

His other hand was resting in the middle of the heaving chest, right over the tattoo in the middle. He ignored himself for now although his jeans were uncomfortably tight by then. His complete focus was on sucking Corey’s brain out through his cock and by the sounds and the pre-cum in his mouth Jim was close to succeed in that. “Come on… give it to me. I wanna taste you,” he puffed against that wet and perfect cock which he licked along a few times before sucking it back deep into his mouth. A few moves and rubbing behind Corey’s balls ended in Jim deep-throating him and fighting his own gag reflex. Then he was repeating it over and over again, his hazel eyes like two beacons watching and enjoying the singer’s reactions.

Fuck, Jim had skills, and he was fucking evolving… What the shit? Where did he learn that thing he was doing with his throat...???? It was too much for Corey's over-sensitive body and senses. It didn't take long to make his fist tighten in the long hair and come in the hot mouth with the sounds of a bleeding out beast, cursing over and over breathless and weak while panting for air.

He was so, so fucking lost. He felt it in the middle of his chest, right next to Jim's warm hand.

His lover was so fucking beautiful as he was falling apart right in front of Jim’s eyes, his “dying” sounds making the guitarist’s cock throb urgently. But first he made sure to swallow everything Corey was giving him. The taste made him moan around the cumming cock then he made quick work of cleaning every last bit off, left hand staying on the singer’s chest.

Kneeling up the other quickly, nearly aggressively opened those damned jeans and then Jim was moaning low from finally touching his long cock that he freed. His left was keeping Corey pinned to the couch while the other was jerking himself rougher and faster than he did with his lover. The pleasure was balancing on painful and it didn’t take long for Jim to aim and shoot his load across Corey’s groin and stomach, accompanied by some unarticulated yells and groans until there was nothing left and he practically collapsed half-way on the singer.

Yes. He abso-fucking-lutely wanted this…and much more…

Next chapter

Súgó Még nincs hozzászólás.

Új hozzászólás Frissítés