Note: This is the 18th part of the “Home Is Where the Spark Is” series. To understand better what’s going on, we recommend reading the previous entries. Enjoy!

Fandoms: Teen Wolf, Sterek

Characters/relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale, Jordan Parrish, Alan Deaton, Melissa McCall, Sheriff Noah Stilinski, original characters

Rating/category: supernatural, post-Teen Wolf, canon and non-canon elements, slash, M/M, Sterek, aged up characters, Spark Stiles, Magic Stiles, Emissary Stiles, Emissary in training Stiles, detective Stiles, matured Stiles, Alpha Derek, epic romance, love, magic, soulmates, Mate bond, Emissary bond, werewolves, kidnapping, near death experience, hurt/comfort, emotions, training, fighting, betrayal, PTSD, trauma, near panic attack, anxiety, fears, healing from injuries, magical tattoo, anger, werewolf lore, emissary lore, secrets, fluff, family time, top Derek, bottom Stiles, handjob, elevator sex, anal sex, rough sex, knotting, mating

Summary: How much strain can a Mate and Emissary Bond take before snapping? And how much power someone needs to resist becoming a dark druid? The challenges the mates face next are the hardest they ever had to deal with. Will they manage to overcome these hardships as well, or will they fail and lose each other in the process?

Disclaimer: This is a product of our imagination and was written only for entertainment and fun. We don’t profit from this fanfiction and we mean no harm or disrespect against any real person, culture or custom that might appear in the story. All original pictures or edits and fictional characters used in the story belong to their respective owners and credit goes to them.

kasienkanikki edit

Home Is Where the Spark Is
By Just Jim & Useless-girl

18: If You Dare – Part 1

It’s been two days since that unfortunate attempt of Stiles trying to lock his magic away for good, and the brief reunion with his long-dead mother. Understandably, that night took a lot out of the already messed up and exhausted emissary. So he slept through most of the following day and then once Derek forced some food and energy drinks into him, later that day they did that much needed balancing.

It helped Stiles recover quicker once he took all that excess magic back which he had made Derek store to make sure he was going to be okay for a long while once the ritual was done and he became a simple human again. Well, obviously that plan has changed and the druid needed some time until the magic settled and became one with him again.

He also paid attention not to pull away and close up from Derek. He hated to do that anyway, so that at last was something he was glad not to do. Keeping secrets and emotions from your soulmate was a tricky and exhausting business.

The sheriff dropped by thankfully only when Stiles looked much better than when he woke up. They summed up the latest happenings to him, trying to be as gentle as possible with the Claudia topic. But Stiles didn’t want to keep that from his dad. Understandably, Noah was shocked and didn’t really know what to do with the information that his dead wife was keeping tabs on them and tried to occasionally protect them. The fact that it seemed she moved with her son and wasn’t lingering around in the Stilinski house helped the sheriff start to process and accept it – and yes, Stiles kinda found it cute how his dad turned red then.

At least things were calm around the Stilinski house and Beth was okay too. Stiles had heard earlier when he was still half-asleep that Derek had a video chat session with the little miss before Noah’s visit. She seemed to be fine with being around Jordan - probably also because he smelled like pack more now, thanks to Derek accepting him as a member of their pack.

The second day after breakfast Stiles and Derek had something else to do. Namely, starting the practice with the fire. Stiles had updated Deaton about the situation too and he sounded genuinely relieved on the phone from his protege not going through with the ritual. He also supported the idea of getting Derek used to the fire aspect of Stiles. “It’s way past time,” were his exact words and they both knew he was right.

So now Stiles was sitting on a pillow on the living room’s hardwood floor, Derek sitting opposite him. “So... how should we do this? I mean... do you have an idea how it’d be easier for you?” he asked, obviously not wanting to freak out or trigger his mate.

Fire, it had always been a problem since Derek was sixteen but he had worked hard on getting used to it. So by the time he had met Stiles and cohorts, Derek had used blowtorches and matches without problems. If anything, he used them so often to burn out wolfsbane that he had to admit back then, there was some satisfaction in using it. Making a fire for heat hadn't been a problem, nor had candles or fireplaces. Big fires might be more of a problem but he hadn't experienced one to know. And even Peter forcing the memories on Derek hadn't changed that. No, it had been Hell throwing in a wrench, when he had been burned to a crisp repeatedly, had been forced to relive the memories of his family over and over until fire had became an enemy, something to fear. At first it had been fine, there were fake candles, there was no fireplace at the time so what if fire was something he had avoided?

Now though, it was influencing their future together, it was becoming a problem for the whole pack since two of his betas were practically made out of fire. It had been a problem between him and his mate, so it was time to get past it before it would do lasting damage. Derek didn't mind fear, fear was good, it kept him on his toes but it had never been a reason not to do something, but it was now a problem he wasn't going to run away from. Not anymore. Not that it meant he was sitting there comfortably.

They were going to do small exercises to ease him into it, even though Derek was impatient. He wanted to be able to light their wood burner, he wanted to be able to put a cake with candles in front of Beth so she could blow them out on her birthday. He wanted to be able to surprise Stiles with romance by lighting candles, wanted to be able to use the blowtorch again.

"I don't think this is going to be easy no matter how we do it." But the two of them sitting like this, in their home, it was a good way to start. Obviously for bigger fires they were going to have to move outside because he didn't want another home burned down. "This is good though, even though I feel ridiculous that our goal is for me to light a candle today and get used to your fire in small amounts."

"It's natural that you feel like that, but you're far from ridiculous, Derek. We're going to work through this particular trauma so you can be more at ease around fire again. You know you had done that once in the past... before Hell. So you have to remind yourself that you are capable of doing it," Stiles lightly shrugged and laced his fingers together to stretch them in front of him before wriggling them.

"Alright, so baby steps," Stiles reminded Derek. "I'm going to light a small fire in my palm. You had seen that and you know that it won't hurt you. It's not real fire without my intention to burn anything. You don't have to do anything with it, I just want you to be in its presence for a while before we do anything else or make an attempt to light a candle with a match. That's our end goal anyways," he shrugged again with a small reassuring smile.

He knew how hard this was for his mate, but he felt proud of him for being willing to work on it for everyone's – especially Derek's own – sake. Such a weakness could be exploited by the enemy. Which had happened many times to the wolf, especially in Hell.

"I know you associate fire with loss and unimaginable mental and physical pain for everything that had happened to you in connection with it. I think... maybe you should try to start associating it with positive things too. Like me," he beamed, sitting up a bit straighter and pointing at himself, half-jokingly to ease Derek up a bit.

Normally he would have used snark and say something along the lines of questioning if Stiles was a positive thing too, which would have resulted in bickering back and forth. But with the way Stiles had been struggling with himself lately and everything they had been going through, he swallowed the need to use blunt trolling and instead gave a smile. The attempt at one at least because it was kind of caught between a grimace and a nervous flicker of a smile. Stiles' magic was fire, so yeah, if he finds a way to anchor himself to all part of his mate and not only certain things, it might work.

It was all about mental conditioning, because fear was all in the head. The wall helped, sure, but it also meant in some things he hadn't gotten better, like trauma-related things. And Derek knew there was no way it was going to help them if they eased up on the wall, so he had to find ways around it. Like whatever triggered memories hiding behind that wall, such as fire.

"It's more than that. When we learn about Heaven and Hell, we learn about these typical ideas of what they look like. But it's not anything like that. Hell is like caves and wasteland and darkness and fire too. But it can also be cold and freezing. I've seen Hell so I should know it's not the inferno as you're made to think but fire is Hell for me. So you're right, I need to get past that idea."

Fire was good, fire meant warmth, memories of blowing out birthday candles, of making s'mores over a campfire, of using it to burn down soil so it could regrow again. And Stiles, as his phoenix self soaring in his soul in a way.

"I was late with control over my shift on full moons, as you know. I've always had trouble letting go of something and replacing it with something better."

"Yes, I know you are a late bloomer in some things and that's fine. Though in this case I think we can agree that it's time to help the process so you can get through this and with that make us both stronger. You know this isn't just about you anymore. We are in everything together now as mates, whether we like it or not. I think I fully realized that after mom had stopped me. Yes, I knew that before too, but that was the moment when I opened my eyes and believed it," he said and while talking, he turned his right hand upwards, lightly curling his fingers as he let the magic loose a bit.

"That's why from now on I don't want to make important decisions or solve problems that concern both of us on my own. I've learned my lesson. I want to help you get to that point of realization too. Because it's important for both of us. Everything we feel and struggle with affects both of us and we need to do this... to want this to do together. That's why I'm here and will always be here for you. Like you've been here for me too. You saved me from myself at the greenhouse. Now let me help save you from yourself," he said and let the magic concentrate on his palm, a small magical flame flickering into life there, dancing slowly between the slender fingers.

"We both know you can do it again. And besides... this is just me, your skinny babble-mouth, hyperactive and annoying mate who drives you up the walls more often than not, but who also loves you and would do anything for you," he smiled warmly at Derek, trying to put him at more ease with drawing his attention a bit away from the flame with his words – hoping it would work.

Oh, the Hale was well aware that it wasn't about just him anymore, that was the burden of an alpha, it was never going to be about him anymore. His focus had always been on keeping pack safe, even back when they had met and the pack had been a group of teenagers who didn't want him around. For Derek it had never been about him, all the decisions he had made in his life had been for others. Hell, losing half of his soul... it had been to keep Beth safe. Having the soul returned was to keep Stiles and Beth safe. So Stiles saying that it wasn't just about him anymore, it hurt.

"I'm not sitting here willing to face a stupid fear I already beat before, for myself, Stiles. I'm doing this for us, for our family, our pack and our future." Stiles had been the one wanting to make the big decisions without him while Derek's only secret had been the proposal. The rest had always been discussed because he wasn't the man he was before, the lone wolf. Derek sighed, letting go of the anger, it wasn't worth it to lash out over it. It was good Stiles had come to that same conclusion after the error of the greenhouse. And he was going to have to trust him not to do something like that again without talking to his mate and his alpha about it. This had always been about them both to Derek. If he died, Stiles would die. It was not something he treated lightly because when he had to fight, he was putting his faith into the human's hands to be able to help him if he did get badly injured even for a werewolf.

Letting go of the anger. Ha, nice try. As he was staring at the small flame, he couldn't help but glare at it, as if it could be glared into submission. All of this was stupid and his fear of such a small flame was idiotic. And he was so focused on his anger that his fear had no chance to manifest, he stared at the flame and was fine with it.

"Is that what you really think of me? That I don't realize that this is about more than me?" As Derek asked it, he kept looking at the flame.

"I don't need a wedding for us to be forever. I already made that promise to you and I'm not going to break it. ‘Us’ means you and me. Not me and me. I trust you, I love you. And maybe I haven't shown you enough of how much I'm into this." With that he placed his hand over the fire, more on instinct in this need to prove himself. In his anger and love, the freaking fire meant so very little. It wasn't until he stared at the flames licking at his skin without harming him that he felt the heat of the fire.

Stiles could feel the hurt and anger rising in Derek and it made his smile fade away, his lips pressing together as he kept listening to his mate and watching him move closer. The words could've hurt Stiles too, if he let it happen, but he remembered that for a long time Derek's anchor was anger. It had changed to Stiles some time during the years they've known each other. And perhaps now he was using those two things to work through the fear, which he couldn't feel that much this time as the wolf watched the harmless flame making contact with his hand.

"No, I don't see you like this. I know you'd put anyone you love before yourself. I meant that this affects us both and that you are not alone in this anymore. Just like I'm not alone either. We've been one whole, one unit ever since our mating. I guess I needed time and some reminders for that too to fully let it sink in. Hence why I'll try to talk through everything that might come up with you from now on. I don't want to make a mistake like in the greenhouse again. I know you are not that good in communicating but you've made great progress. And I know we more often than not sense each other's thoughts or understand the other from looks and half-words too. I'm sure this will only get better with time to avoid misunderstandings like what just happened," he explained, hoping that Derek would understand.

The emissary stretched out his long fingers to let the magical flame dance more freely on his palm, playfully licking along Derek's hand. "See? It'll never hurt you. This flame is an extension of me, like the magic."

As much as they understood wrong, as often as they would mess up their communication, there was one thing Derek would be able to count on: Stiles knew him. Knew him enough to realize that however it sounded or whatever misguided conclusion the wolf made, it wasn't going to mean Stiles would get up and walk away. He didn't get offended. And as Derek was thinking that, Stiles was pretty much explaining it. Their bond had grown so much, the human had often voiced some of Derek's thoughts and now a lot of the time the Hale didn't have to say much, Stiles picked it up seamlessly.

Which was also voiced. It earned the younger man arched eyebrows. It should have been scary, all of this. Them together, sensing moods and thoughts and knowing things before they were said. After what they all had been through, this, between them, so deep and so strong, it should make them fear it, doubt it. Should. Because it didn't. Stiles was home to him, he was his anchor, his safety blanket, the one he'd turn to in the good and the bad. Nothing of Stiles should... scare him. Derek’s thoughts trailed off.

He stared at the flame licking at his hand, the heat he felt without his skin torched. That wasn't just a flame. That was Stiles. That wasn't Stiles' magic. That was Stiles. Everything fell in place. A watery smile – why did he become so emotional that there were tears brimming in his eyes? – broke on his face as he toyed with the flame. This was Stiles.

Derek grabbed the hand, dousing the flame as their fingers entwined, so he could pull him close and kiss him. "I love you."

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