19: Emissary – Part 4

By the time Derek woke up again, he felt like a normal werewolf. His muscles weren't stiff, the wounds no longer puled with each movement and they felt less raw. Rubbing the sleep away, he glanced to the still sleeping man beside him, who was softly snoring with harsh puffs of breaths. The unhealthy paleness was gone to a more acceptable pale and the dark circles under the eyes didn't look like painful bruises anymore, they were just dark smudges at the most. Stiles was going to need to balance, and the easiest way for both of them would be with sex, since it would help them heal their bodies too.

Gently reaching out, Derek tested how deep Stiles was sleeping by peeling the sheets away and there was only a moan of protest and a little toss which only served his purpose because the human flopped on his back. Patiently the predator waited for his prey to settle again, before skilled fingers slowly, very slowly, peeled away the underwear. He pulled them down enough to free what he was looking for, the scent of Stiles hitting him hard since they had been sleeping long hours.

Green eyes flicked up, checking to see if Stiles was asleep as he took hold of the hardened cock. It always was filled out when Stiles woke up so the human was about to open his eyes no doubt. Perfect timing. Derek licked his lips and slipped them down the velvet shaft.

Derek's reward was a sigh which turned into a soft moan and some squirming from Stiles. Luckily this time he didn't dream of the Nemeton. Or at least if he had any dreams, he didn't remember them and could get some much needed rest in. But his wake up call was even better. True to his words, Derek woke him with sex, just like he promised and he wasn't going to say no to that.

Eyes still closed, a smile tugged on his lips as he moved one hand into his mate's thick hair. "A good afternoon to you too..." he mumbled, letting his hips come alive and lightly buck into the wet heat surrounding his hardened cock. "God, I love your mouth around me..." he groaned and finally looked down at Derek to drink in the hot sight. It only made desire unfurl faster in his stomach, his fingers lightly curling into a fist in the messy hair.

"Go deeper, please..." he urged, watching his cock moving in and out, getting wetter by the minute. "You feel so good!"

Derek mumbled something in greeting when Stiles woke up, but didn't stop what he was doing. Instead he was rejoicing in the feeling of a hand fumbling with his hair before the fingers tightened their hold. Green eyes flicked upwards at that, and if he didn't have his mouth full, he most likely would have thrown his mate a promising grin. Instead though, he pressed his tongue flat and relaxed his throat so the hard erection would be able to slip in all the way. His spit leaked around the shaft to wet it while his lips slipped down, the thick head reaching the back of his throat.

His nose nuzzled at the thick dark curls nestled at the base of the cock but he wasn't done. Not even close. The moment the thickness was as far as it could go, Derek sucked, hollowing his cheeks as his tongue pressed against the soft skin. He sucked even harder, humming a moan which vibrated around the length.

"Holy crap!!!" Stiles cried out, one of his legs kicking out and his hand pulling harder on Derek's hair from the intensity of the deep-throating. "Derek! Oh god!" he whined, feeling his cock throbbing in sync with the humming and the wet sucking.

"I'm... gonna cum fast... if you keep this up!" he warned, pulling his legs up to near his chest to expose himself more for his mate. This way he could lick and suck on two of his fingers and reach around a leg to rub the damp tips against his clenching hole.

Opening his shimmering eyes, he looked into the green ones, the magic starting to stir in him a bit. "Bottom drawer in the nightstand... and lube... I want you to play with my hole too... Please..." he panted.

Of course, he meant the sex toys they had in that drawer but rarely used since they were usually too impatient or turned on by each other to take their time like that. But now they didn't have to be anywhere and the need to balance wasn't that urgent yet. Not to mention that imagining Derek stimulating his hungry hole with the vibrator Stiles had recently purchased and not tried out yet (aside from cleaning it) was such a turn on that his fingertips unwittingly slid in half-way, making Stiles moan as the tight muscles gave some more way to the intrusion.

The lube was not in the bottom drawer, since that one was locked away from curious toddler eyes, because that one contained the toys Derek always forgot to include. It wasn't that he was against using them, but he was often so wrapped up in what they were doing that he never thought to think about using props to spice it up. With a very low whine of having to abandon what he had been enjoying, Derek let go of the erection with a wet plop. He was completely used to Stiles being this bossy even when half-awake. He actually loved it though in all fairness, Derek was starting to initiate himself more when it came to sex.

Sliding to his knees to the floor, the wolf glanced to Stiles who was busy fingering himself, making his nostrils flare at the scent while he fumbled with the key to unlock the drawer. The key was hidden in a book in the top drawer or they'd both forget about it. He grabbed it when he had reached for the lube. Now he was the one impatient with an eager mate stretched out on the bed, though that faded when he opened the drawer and looked at the toys there.

Hm. Was he supposed to pick from all that? Play with the hole would indicate no plug but there were dildos and vibrators. And anal beads. The latter he had never ever used before so he left those where they were, which didn't limit his options. Stiles moaned loudly again, and Derek pushed at his own erection to calm it down a little. It still had to hold out for a while.

"Any preferences to what I should pick?" Derek-speak for ‘please tell me what you want because I have no idea’.

Although Stiles was busy pushing his fingers deeper, he was kinda glad that Derek had to abandon his flushed and by then very wet cock, which flopped back on his bare stomach. With a small groan of displeasure, he pulled his fingers out to fully get rid of his briefs while Derek was moving off the bed. Then Stiles opened his legs slutty wide again and pushed his fingers right back in, giving that loud moan which made Derek look.

The two fingers were fully buried now, scissoring and rubbing all the right spots inside, making Stiles' back arch and his body squirm with want and need. Stiles' shimmering eyes met Derek's helpless ones. He understood the real question.

"The black silicone one. It's a vibrator... Roughly the size of your cock," Stiles flushed a bit as he lined up a third wet finger, his other hand going to his previously bitten nipple to pinch and pull on it. "I want it in me... I want you to fuck me with it before you replace it with your own cock," he whispered hoarsely. "Come on, Derek. I'm burning up for it. Don't make me wait any longer," Stiles panted and sank all three of his fingers fully inside, a satisfied moan following it right after that.

Derek had glanced down to the lube to make sure he had grabbed the right one, the water-based one since silicone-based lube was great for anal but wrecked toys. No, the Hale hadn't known that, Stiles had educated him in all kinds of lubes when they went to the sex store and he had wondered about why they needed so many different ones. When the mate was a research fanatic, it could be very helpful, it could also be very... taxing.

"Stiles... stop playing with yourself without lube," he complained, because it was very distracting and it was also not good for later when the hurt of stretching without lube settled in. Finally locating the right toy, the alpha closed the drawer and was back on the bed, swatting at a thigh playfully. "Fingers out. My turn."

Almost his turn. As he was coating the toy with lube, he checked for the switch, turning it around in his hands a few times, showing his inexperience. At the base was where the batteries went in so that's where he felt, realizing a turning knob to set the vibrations, making it nearly jump in his hand, and he dropped it. "... Let's pretend that didn't happen," Derek laughed, because he wanted this to be sexy.

Stiles huffed and puffed at Derek, but did pull his damp fingers out. "There was lube... My spit... Contrary to your belief, sometimes that's enough too," he rolled his eyes and adjusted the pillow under his head as he watched Derek getting acquainted with the newest addition to their naughty collection. Okay, some were from Stiles' own collection which he had bought back in San Francisco or while he was at the academy and was in his experimental phase. But right now what mattered was Derek holding the black toy in his hand and it was disturbingly hot for some reason.

Right until he dropped it with a surprised expression. Stiles joined in the laughing because it was just so adorable in his opinion.

"Oh god, I saw nothing!" he giggled, reaching down to caress Derek's knee since he could reach only that in his exposed position. Then he moved that hand to gently cup his own balls and slightly pull them up to expose his mostly loosened hole even more.

"Okay... so start slowly. Tease my cock and balls first if you want before you move to my hole," he suggested, knowing how inexperienced Derek was with this. Not that he minded. He was always happy to teach his mate about new things when it came to their pleasure. And also encouraged him to discover on his own if he wanted.

Adjusting the setting of the vibrator and taking hold of it with the hand that wasn't slick with lube, Derek tested the way he could move it without dropping it, fingers at its base since he had handled dildos, just not the vibrating kind. The buzzing was louder than he thought it would be and familiar, and he made a face as he remembered when he had heard it before. Nope, not going to mention it, it was like a cold shower and taking an ice bath at the same time.

Instead he focused on his beautiful mate spread out like that, and he let the vibrator touch the full balls first, not sure what he was supposed to be doing with it. Draw invisible drawings, roll it around, press against the skin and hold it there? Inside of Stiles he of course understood that the vibrations against the prostate would feel amazing and it was like a cock then. But right now he felt a little ridiculous for not knowing what to do with a vibrator. He was an adult, he should know this.

"I'm not sure if I just… keep it there?" It was still resting on the testicles as he upped the vibration a little.

With half-hooded eyes, the amber irises shining through the long eyelashes, Stiles was watching Derek's every move in anticipation. Of course, he could feel his mate's uncertainty and maybe a bit of discomfort, but he just smiled softly at that. Yeah, he had a naked werewolf on the bed all baffled by a vibrator and looking at it as if it was a weapon. But his building laugh turned into a soft moan and some fidgeting once he released his balls to give way for the vibrating toy to make contact.

Then there was another, this time louder moan, when the vibrations came a bit stronger. Licking his suddenly dry lips, Stiles gently took Derek's wrist to guide his hand since his mate had no idea yet how to please him with the toy. Emphasis on the yet.

"It's okay. That feels good too. But slide it behind my balls, to my perineum. There are a lot of nerve-endings there so it makes that patch of skin very sensitive. That's why some people get a piercing there called a guiche piercing. Remember? I rubbed you there before and it felt awesome, right?" he asked a bit hoarser as he pulled his balls back up with his free hand, the other guiding Derek's hand enough to make the tip of the mostly cock-shaped vibrator to that patch of skin.

His body's reaction was instant. Stiles' thighs trembled and he had to remind himself to keep them open as an even louder moan left his moist lips, head pressed back into the pillow for a few moments as he sucked his stomach in. "Oh yes! Right there! Move it a little..." Stiles panted and groaned again, his hips slightly rocking against the toy's tip, his hole clenching.

"I know what a perineum is, Stiles," Derek grumbled but it was with a small smile on his face because the way his mate helped him with this was thoughtful, kind, but his voice betrayed some of his amusement though. Not that the wolf could blame him for it, since here was a tall muscular predator who had no idea what to do with a vibrator besides pushing it into a hole. He moved the hand holding the toy when Stiles guided him, letting the tip caress along the sensitive skin between the balls and asshole.

A piercing there. Where he knew from experience it was so sensitive, it was interesting but he doubted Stiles would be willing to get one there but considering how he reacted to the vibrator, the way his body twitched in pleasure, it would be something to consider.

"Hm," he hummed, loving the way his mate's body was responding. That wasn't something his fingers could create, nor his tongue, so yeah, he could understand the appeal of using toys.

Eyes wide, pupils blown, he watched how his mate was vocal while he moved the vibrator along the perineum and even went as far as teasing the twitching entrance with it before moving it back to the balls. Yeah, he really loved this, he was completely sold on the use of vibrators in their love making sessions. It allowed him to watch Stiles writhe while he barely had to focus on what he was doing. He was so beautiful like this, so sexy. So arousing!

Stiles wanted to say that he knew Derek knew what that patch of skin was called, but he was too busy gasping for air or moaning in turns. He soon let Derek's wrist go because he could tell his wolf was getting the hang of it fast. He swore he could feel the burning intensity of Derek's gaze on his arching and squirming body. Opening his eyes and looking down at his man, he held the eye-contact, feeling so wanton and hot for him and what they were doing.

"Oh god... Derek!" he groaned from the teasing then pulled his legs up to his chest, hooking an arm behind his knees to help himself stay in this new position, his most sensitive parts exposed for Derek to play with. "Please, don't stop. Feels so good!" he panted, feeling more wetness smear against his stomach.

Stiles loved how Derek could fully focus on him and what he was doing. To some degree it was fascinating and beautiful to Stiles. Not to mention how it usually brought happiness and pleasure to him.

His other hand curled into a fist around the already creased bed sheet. "What are you thinking? Talk to me, Derek..." he prompted in-between two moans.

"Many things," Derek returned, which said nothing at all, he just didn't feel like talking at the moment, he felt like doing. And sometimes having his head to himself without a mate plucking the random thoughts right from his head was needed so he felt like something was his. This moment where he was enjoying his mate's beauty splayed out while Derek played with him, that was his and he didn't want to share it, not even with Stiles right now. Later, when they were completely joined by their bodies, Stiles could pick up on it all. Later, not now.

If there was one way to shut up the human, it was to make sure there was something to moan about, as well as make sure Derek didn't have the option to reply. The tip of the vibrator was pushed inside the winking hole at the same time as soft lips took in the erection, and sucked on the hardened flesh to give various stimulations all at once.

A part of Stiles wasn't really surprised by the short reply or the tactic to stop him from demanding more words. Of course he had noticed that too, but then Derek's plan started to work and the human's eyes closed on the pleasure caused by his man's actions.

His painfully hard cock throbbed in the maddeningly hot and wet clasp of those lips and the toy vibrating against his entrance was so very intense that Stiles' loud yell of pleasure echoed through the loft. He couldn't really describe the feeling aside from being sooo good! So intense because of how responsive and sensitive his body usually was. His toes curled and his free hand shot up from the sheets to Derek's hair, the other firmly kept in place under his knees, even if his muscles jumped.

"Oh yes! Derek! More!" Stiles demanded as the pushy bottom he usually was and after a few deep breaths, he began rocking against the sucking mouth and the toy to feel it stimulate him deeper and more. It was always more with Derek...

The idea had been for a morning blowjob, a promise Derek was intent on keeping so no matter how much Stiles was going to beg him, the seed-spilling was going to be in his mouth. There was a certain relentless feel to the way he attacked his mate, pushing the vibrator in all the way at the same time as his mouth slipped lower. When he pulled the toy out, his mouth pulled away as well. Before he repeated the assault and hollowed his cheeks as well that time, sucking hard.

Stiles was enjoying it, that much was clear with how loud he got, how he clutched at the werewolf's hair, hard enough to pull a few strands out if he kept it up. The intensity of the vibrator was turned to full, and he made sure to suck hard, wanting to suck the orgasm right out of him. It was a clear signal that Stiles couldn't do anything but to give into the wordless demand.

While moaning his head off, Stiles could clearly feel the intentions of his mate. How determined he was to get to his... creamy filling, so to say, as if Stiles was the best kind of dessert. And fuck, his wolf was doing a very great job at pushing him quickly to the edge with the strong suction – as if he wanted to suck Stiles' already mushy brain out through his dick – and the intense vibrations in his tight ass. They were stimulating all his sensitive spots inside, especially his prostate.

The pleasure was nearly painful and Stiles decided to let Derek's hair and his legs go in favor of desperately holding onto the headboard. Partly not to make his man bald with tearing his hair out and partly to have more leverage to rock his hips back and forth, his legs pulled up and apart. This made him able to fuck up into that maddeningly hot mouth and slide his ass onto the thick vibrator.

Sweat started beading on his face and body, a healthy blush finally coloring his cheeks, the veins in his neck popping out from the loud continuous moans and groans and panting.

He was close... So close! And he wanted to come. He wanted to feed his mate with his cum and clench around that maddeningly vibrating toy. One glance down between his legs was the last straw. Seeing Derek so intent on sucking him dry while fucking him with the toy... it was all too much...

Shamelessly, Stiles roared his mate's name as his body arched and he threw his head back, arms shaking, knuckles around the headboard turning white, his hips moving erratically while his pulsing cock flooded his mate's mouth. As pleasure blinded him, a wave of magic washed over them, prickling and making their skin break out in goose bumps, the runes shining up on their forearms.

"Don't... stop!" the trembling lips managed to utter somehow. "Put your dick... in me... and keep fucking me..." The magic needed that to trigger the balancing and Stiles needed that even more to be fully one with his mate and give Derek just as much pleasure in return.

It was as much an overload to Derek as it was to Stiles, when the older man's mouth was flooded with the salty and bitter fluid while magic trickled around them. It rushed to his head as well as his arm, since both were connected with his mate's body, the electricity like current warming him with a jolt. As if he wasn't aroused enough already, he was so hard he was aching, but his focus had been on Stiles first. As the slowly softening erection pulsed the last drops in his mouth, he took his time sucking it all up like a hungry wolf despite the Spark's urgency to be filled. He hadn't done all this work to not get the treat he had been after. His arched eyebrow said as much when he sucked one last time.

He knew though, why Stiles said it. Without the encouragement, Derek would have waited for Stiles to have recovered since it was all about consent. The bossy words was all the encouragement he needed, so when he pulled off the soft cock with a slurping sound and wiped at the sticky wires of spit and cum, he also pulled out the vibrator. It was tossed onto the bed, fingers grappling for the lube to coat himself sloppily, twisting the palm of his hand around his straining erection only once. Hands made sure the legs were on his shoulders as he aimed himself at the wide open hole.

It was one easy slide home. Slick and warm, welcoming him inside without needing a pause. All of him with one sharp thrust of the hips. Derek wasn't sure if Stiles needed time to adjust, but he did! Usually it wasn't this easy to push inside and it punched the breath out of his lungs with a wanton moan.

Despite just getting an orgasm that rocked Stiles' whole world, he needed more. And the boiling up magic in him kept him in a kinda high state, keeping his body ready for his mate's cock without his prostate getting too sensitive. It was still intense and his cock might have softened to half-mast, but he didn't care. He needed Derek in him to fully become with him and balance the magic, so his stretched ass welcomed the intrusion. Stiles' moan echoed Derek's as that by then well-known feeling of being filled up so perfectly by his werewolf registered in his mushy brain.

The pale legs trembled on Derek's shoulders as the burning fire in them intensified and wanted to urge them both to move again.

"Fuck me... Please! Derek!" Stiles whined on the brink of completely falling apart and perhaps crying if his mate didn't move right the fuck then. Half-blindly, he moved his arm with the burning rune to reach for his mate, clasping the marked forearm to press the symbols together. The second he did that, his back arched again and he quivered around the thick cock with another loud moan, the magic bubbling up then quite literally exploding in and around them, pulsing with their joined heartbeat and gasps for air, burning through each cell in their bodies – and just like that Stiles was rock-hard again, his head swimming in pleasure and magic and all that was Derek.

Stiles didn't give him much time to get ready, the balancing had been too urgent so there was no blame when the connection rushed over Derek. It took what it needed, pulling magic from the wolf to refuel the Spark, all the while urging him to move, to keep the sexual connection going. Derek was barely aware of what he was doing at that point, he felt not only his need but that of his mate’s as well. It was a rush as usual, not knowing where he began and the other body ended.

His hips moved, as if possessed, fucking into the willing body with sharp and deep thrusts, the hard cock of Stiles brushing along his stomach each time. Leaning on his elbows, Derek hovered, his weight on his knees and arms so he had all the power to push into the wet body, his muscles rippling. Heat and gold flowed everywhere, trickling into his mate to give what he had left, to heal the weakened human body. Their pain joined, as his healing was used for the other.

It was so easy for Derek to give himself so fully without a thought. He’d do anything for his mate.

The bed creaked as the sweaty bodies moved together and everything got so heightened for Stiles, too. The previous dull tiredness which was brought upon his body by the exhaustion from using up too much magic was now gone. He could taste Derek's passion and love on his tongue even without kissing. He was surrounded and swimming in his mate's scent. His body felt like melting into one with Derek's, no longer knowing where he ended and Derek started. He could clearly hear their racing heartbeats and saw the fading black lines on the sweaty skin as the pain fully disappeared and got replaced by heat and passion.

He was grateful that he kept gripping the headboard before because now he had to press his palm against it to stop his head from hitting it with each deep thrust that was pushing Stiles towards the edge again. So deep and wild, he wanted to say to Derek, but he could only moan and gasp for air while the magic was flowing back and forth in them like hot waves.

How was it possible that sex could still get better between them? How were they even able to get out of bed in the first place?

"D-Derek..." Stiles' glowing and pleading eyes flashed up at the beast between his trembling legs, fingers digging deeper into the clasped forearm while their burning runes felt like melting together too to lock them together forever.

Derek's eyes briefly hooked with Stiles when he pleaded with his name, but there was no verbal acknowledgement. There wasn't one needed since it was a plea for Derek to finish them and the werewolf wasn't ready for that yet, though he was close. There was only a low grunt as he took his mate, a thickness starting to form at the base of his erection, which was another sign how close he was with the knot forming. Stiles didn't need to do anything but to hold on, to lie there and take it with the magic dancing around them.

The harsh slaps of their flesh meeting, echoed loudly around the bedroom. Quietly the alpha worked his way towards an orgasm, letting the sweat build on his body, the covers strewn on the floor. The knot grew thicker and thicker, making room within the tight human body with each push to prepare him for what was to come. A few more thrusts were all it took for the large knot to take, locking them together. Derek was even quiet with his orgasm, flooding his mate with watery semen as his body shivered.

But their connection made him loud. It didn't hide his emotions, it didn't hide his inner voice which was as loud as he was outwardly quiet. Maybe that's why they were good together, because Stiles could hear him where others turned deaf. Stiles took the time to know Derek, to know that within his silence was a whole language, one the young man translated fluently.

It was way too much yet so very perfect. Stiles started bracing himself for what was to come, because he felt the growing knot, but then changed his mind and let everything just happen as it was supposed to. He was so ready for everything his man offered and felt, because he felt the same way. And although he did cry out from the knot pushing him to his limits, it was from joy and want. And his hoarse, triumphant roar just after a few grinding motions against his prostate while he was being filled with Derek's essence, was born from pure ecstasy.

He could barely feel the mess he made between them, the cum that shot out and smeared on their stomachs and chests. All he felt was pleasure and his mate being fully one with him. Their souls melting together in a bright golden glow, wiping everything else away. In this space there was no Nemeton, no Council or Zepar or looming threats. It was purely them and their shared pleasure and love.

Stiles' trembling hand left the headboard to reach up and caress the sweaty shoulder and neck, up to the stubbly face while they were riding out their earth-shattering joined orgasm, his clamping ass never stopping lightly rocking against the deeply buried cock and knot, which kept them joined while the magic roamed freely in and around them, making their bodies and veins glow while they were gasping for air. A few satisfied moans slipped out of him too as he kept holding on to Derek, keeping him close, amber eyes watching him, seeing him, loving him. Because this man... this man and his happiness was everything to Stiles.

The silence between them was comfortable. Derek didn't worry about the rare moment of Stiles Stilinski being quiet because he felt the arms around his shivering body. He felt the way the eyes traced every part of his face as warm breath puffed into his hair. The wolf's face was resting on Stiles' shoulder, droplets of sweat cooling down as much as the pool of cum between them. Neither of them cared about the mess, there was going to be more of it once the knot had gone down and the erection was going to slip out.

It took a moment for Derek to catch his breath, never moving since their groins wasn't the only place where their bodies were connected, the runes were still pressed together as well. The many claw wounds on the alpha's body had healed from deep gauges to red lines, so the bandages weren't needed anymore and some of the butterfly strips which had kept his cheek together had slipped away.

"If this keeps getting better, then maybe at some point my mind is going to explode as much as my dick does." It was getting ridiculous. Was sex always like this? Better than any drug? Although Derek suspected the magic component did make it like a drug. His body got used to high amounts of it, no longer making him intoxicated on it but it seemed to help the sex to be... the out of this world kind.

"And my mind will completely melt and drip out of my ears or nose or something..." Stiles agreed with a hoarse chuckle. His legs were not on Derek's shoulders anymore but loosely around his body. He had no memory when they got into that position, but it wasn't important. At least his muscles weren't going to cramp. His free hand was lazily stroking the still sweaty warm back and up to Derek's nape to let his long fingers get lost in the damp hair.

Closing his still glowing eyes, Stiles let the magic ebb and flow a little bit more before he'd pull it back into his Spark, which was burning inside him bright again, just like their love. That corny thought made him smile to himself and fondly scratch Derek's nape.

"I was just thinking about sex with you while you were fucking me so perfectly I wanted to cry. It's never been this intense and good with anyone else," he admitted the obvious, but maybe Derek wanted to hear it again. "And it's crazy that it's still getting better and better. Maybe one day our hearts will burst too and we die of pleasure. That would be a death I'd be okay with," he chuckled again and turned his head enough to press a kiss into Derek's hair, with that also inhaling him deeply. (Not that they weren't drenched in each other's scent already.)

"Mind dripping out of our noses and our hearts bursting while we die of pleasure," Derek repeated with a dry tone, amused by the vivid imagery and although yes, dying while having sex with Stiles would be a great way to go, he was sick and tired of dying. At the moment, it would be nice to not die for a while, if that was possible. His eyes closed at the gentle kiss and the fingers caressing at the sweaty nape where his hair was clumped together.

"I never want to move again," Stiles stated, feeling much better and very content and happy with where he was and what they had just done. Also, his reluctance was because their runes, bodies and souls were still connected and these moments were when he felt the most complete, sated and calm. No nervous ticks and urge to move and talk and have his mind full of thoughts all the time. "You're my peace."

Obviously Derek wasn't willing to move either, with the way he was pancaked all over his mate without so much as a twitch in his limbs. Stiles was out of luck, because if he wanted Derek off of him in the very near future, he was going to have to do all the work.

"I'm your anchor, that's how it feels to have one." Stiles had been his for a very long time. His peace in the storms, his to go to thought when he was lost. The one to focus on when his emotions were all over the place. It didn't always work these days, because the torment of Hell had left its scars but he had gotten better at control the past month. With the help of the younger man, Derek was gaining his life back. Not the ruins that it usually was but one he had always been eager to have.

"I think moving is not going to be possible."

"I don't mind the not moving. You're right where I want you to be and where I want me to be," Stiles purred fondly. As long as he could breathe under the heavy and warm werewolf body, he was okay. His fingers continued carding through the dark hair while the thumb on his other hand caressed Derek's warm skin where his grip lessened on the forearm. The burning in their connecting runes ebbed down to a light prickling sensation. The balancing was done, but it felt good to let the magic lazily roam freely in them for a little longer and Derek didn't seem to mind either being connected threefold like this.

"I know you're my anchor. I've known that for a long time too. Around after the Nogitsune when I was recovering and missing you," Stiles murmured, closing his still shimmering amber eyes too. He didn't like to think or talk about those difficult times, but sometimes he mentioned it to Derek. Just like his mate did with the Hell memories. He loved that if they felt like it, they could talk about even such things freely.

"I didn't know you missed me." Okay, so Derek hadn't been aware of much at the time, since he had been kidnapped the moment he had returned to his loft once the Nogitsune had been defeated. And apparently he had been sleeping beauty for weeks in an abandoned church in Mexico. From what he had been told, Scott had been the one to realize Derek was gone. He never realized Stiles had actually missed him too. But in a way it made sense. "Maybe that's why the Nogitsune was so intent on getting me out of the way."

Derek had returned without Cora to spend his time worrying about Stiles, searching for Stiles and then was locked up in a cell for days. Only to get blown up, patched up and back in a cell for more days. The only interaction with Stiles had been when the Nogitsune had beaten him up. So yeah, Derek hadn't been part of that and hadn't been there for Stiles in a way he would have liked to.

"I know you didn't know back then, but I did. Until Scott realized that you were gone for sure and we came up with the plan to break you free from the Calavera family because we thought they had you, I just thought you were off to do your own thing," Stiles nodded against Derek's head, brushing his cheek against the hair to scent some more.

It was a difficult time for Stiles with lots of nightmares, therapy and guilt. And most of it he kept hidden from his friends, not wanting them to think he was weaker than they probably already thought of him. Not just for being the human of the pack but for letting a Japanese spirit possess him. He needed Derek around back then too, without really realizing it. It only came off as missing him.

"Maybe the Nogitsune already knew what I didn't back then. That you were more important to me already and tried to eliminate the possibility of you rescuing me. Hence the beating up and blowing up part..." Stiles mused, slightly frowning from the memories.

Off doing his own thing, that was pretty much what Derek’s theme had been back then. Not answering texts or calls, disappearing without a word for weeks. It was pretty normal behavior for Derek Hale. Still was in a way, although now that he had a daughter and mate, he no longer disappeared without a trace. He had never blamed others not knowing he was missing each time he had been kidnapped. That was more of a case of karma. But he did regret missing out on important events he should have been part of, should have been there for support. Especially now, when Stiles was carrying so much of his load regarding Hell.

"Don't think about it badly, it wasn't you. If it had been you, I'm sure I would be actually dead." The Nogitsune obviously hadn't counted on the Hale resilience, Stiles would have.

"I know it wasn't me and that I shouldn't blame myself for what it did while controlling me. But I do still blame myself for opening that door ajar out of curiosity and allowed Void to use that darkness to exploit me to wreak havoc like that. But it's something I had more or less learned to live with. I think about it less ever since I came back here and found you again," he smiled a bit at the end, his eyes closing and a soft sigh slipping through his lips from the gentle tracing of the tattoo on his chest. As usual, because of the magic laced within the tattoo, it reacted to his mate's touch by warming and shining up a bit, leaving goose bumps and a pleasurable tingling there.

"You did a ritual to save your parent, you with Scott and Allison. That darkness wasn't even remotely your fault." That darkness was still part of Scott too, even though he never had mentioned it again. It seemed he had fought against it and it wasn't bothering him anymore, but it was still there, just not a problem. And Stiles was handling it, after the Nogitsune. "You made a choice to sacrifice a part of yourself, there's no blame there."

Derek's fingers traced the anti-possession tattoo without opening his eyes, he knew exactly where it was. "At least it can never happen again."

The wrinkles smoothed out only when Derek mentioned that it cannot happen again. Derek meant the possession. "Yeah, the anti-possession tattoo is on my chest for a good reason. But you already knew that."

Opening his eyes, Stiles stared up at the high ceiling above them and sighed a bit. "Although I'm not sure it'd protect against the Nemeton. Not that it could possess me like Void did, but it could take over if I let it. Was so close to that when I saw you bleed out on its trunk. I'm a bit concerned about willingly going to touch it to see what it wants."

The Nemeton was for sure a different kind of danger. Not a demon taking hold of a human body. The magic might not even see the tree as an intruder at all, but more like an extension.

"Not to alarm you more, Stiles, but... it had made me sleepwalk to it a few times to get a blood sacrifice. It's been very quiet since our bonding." Not to mention it had gotten its sacrifice not long ago and it didn't seem it wanted more at quicker intervals. Blood kept it alive and maybe with a Darach back in town, it needed less of Derek and more of Stiles' magic.

"Well... let's hope that no sleepwalking will happen on my part. Or yours, for that matter. Maybe it'll stick to the dreams for now. But it's something I'll have to soon look into. Before the dreams might become not enough..." Stiles sighed, letting his fingertips trace the swirling lines of the Triskelion tattoo on the middle of Derek's back in return for the favor. "But one thing I know for sure: I'm so very glad that I still have you, Derek. I'd be so lost without your help and love."

It was weird to hear somebody say they'd be lost without him, usually it was something completely the opposite. Sure, Derek had been needed before, but nothing like this. Not that who he was mattered to another person, and his help was invaluable. It humbled him, made him grow quiet in a different way, the brooding way. The almost shy side of him not knowing how to handle such compliments. It made him feel more naked than their bodies were. "You'll always have me."

"You know... I'm more grateful than I can tell just how much I appreciate that, Derek. You'll always have me too. You're my everything. Our lives are so entwined by now that I don't think I'd ever be able to live a full life without you anymore. If I didn't die, I'd be only a shell of myself. Or go completely dark until someone put me out of my misery. Dunno. But I don't want to ever experience that either. I want to focus on our future. A brighter future. With us and building a family and pack. I want that more than anything."

It was true. For years Stiles had indulged in secretly fantasizing about how living and having a family and pack would be with Derek. And the seemingly impossible became possible somehow. He was mated and engaged to the love of his life (at this point it was no exaggeration to think of Derek like that). And it was a rare thing, he knew. He wanted all that. Kids, a caring pack and strength to be able to protect all that and face whatever they might have to face.

Even though Derek knew it was a possibility, he didn't want to think about Stiles being left alone like that, going dark and becoming what he never wanted to be, only to die a shell of the man he was. Sure, werewolves turned old, he was supposed to 'outlive' his mate but with how often he had died already, growing old wasn't something he was going to achieve. And if Stiles went before him, he'd most likely go too, or go insane since the wall would be gone. Their fates were entwined forever now, something they had known beforehand and yet it had been unstoppable. And yeah, he didn't want to think about their ending when their life together had only just begun.

Finally he opened his eyes, to look up at his mate from under his lashes. "We're going to have a whole army of kids running around, you promised. This building will be filled with pack and other supernaturals needing a home. You'll be a successful detective here and I'll be right here, taking care of our family. And you'll return home to be greeted by warmth and love." It was a wish, but also a promise. "We'll leave a legacy. We'll leave this world knowing we had all we ever wanted."

Pretty much all Derek wanted was to be able to have a family again, to sit on a porch and watch them all become whatever they wanted to become. To finally be at peace. Stiles offered that to him, even with the rocky road ahead. He kissed the tattoo and closed his eyes. They had to clean up, but for now, there was no rush in anything at all.

Next part

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