And this man knew what I was thinking, all what was hidden in my mind. " Whe the body speaks all else is hallow" mine was talking loud, my body. I was on my knees in front of him and from the sudden rush of emotions tears began to flow from my eyes. I hadn't broke the silence, but I didn't want him see me crying. My aching soul what was crying for him, oh so loud! I laid my head onto his lap, my hair covered the tears. Deep silence fell upon us. I didn't know what was in his mind, I was just wandering.
- Don't you cry, don't you cry, I don't want tears flow from your eyes! I need your tenderness, I need your touch! - he was caressing my hair. I looked up with teary eyes and I saw love in his eyes. Love, but I mean that universal love, what makes us human, allows us to be compassionate, to care for our fellow human being. And I saw sorrow, too, because he couldn't give me more what I longed for. He couldn't give me more than he had.
- Sorry... I don't want to... I know... - I sighted with a shaky voice then I bowed my head down when my tears ran through my face again.
- Hey, baby, you can't love me, you don't know me, we'd just met. What you love is just an idealistic image of me. I am not like that. Believe me I am like just anybody else.
- No, you ain't. You're not anybody. You are, you are...I don't think I have the words to express it, it's not easy David. Please, don't question why. This is true love I know.
- Well, what can I say? Handling emotions never came easy to me.
- You don't need to handle them, just let me love you quietly. I don't require anything from you. I know that you can't give me much. I just... I just... I would be happy if you let me there where you are. But just for a while. I know that I must go away soon. But till then I just want to feel your presence. Is it a big ask from you? - I lifted my head again to see his beautiful and serious green eyes.
- It's not. "Stay. You can leave tomorrow. Please, stay"
I gave a sweet smile to him and I laid my head into his hand which started to stroke my face.
- So good to be with you - I sighed. - How fortunate I am that I was lucky enough to meet you. And you are so sweet Dave. I hoped you would and you are. You made me happy!
- I'm glad to hear that from you. You know my answer which is similar to yours - he answered and lifted me up to sit on his lap.
I hugged my hands around his shoulders and gave a little kiss after a big smile.
- And what are your plans now? What should we do? And the most important is: how much time do you give me?
- My plans? What about going to a Depeche Mode concert and sing it along? How much time I give to you? None. I kiss you right now!
And he did. Once, than more than once, more than twice. We were cuddling like teenagers do after school. He looked at me - How much time do you need?
- Infinity, I want it all!
- Now, seriously! Would it be okay if we stay together as long as we stay in Hungary? It's three more days baby.
- Yes, Dave - I answered and I couldn't believe my luck. Not just making love to him, but having a fling with him!
- Are you sure? And remember, probably I won't live up to your high expectations as a semi-god, I'm only human, born to make mistakes.
- I know that you aren't perfect. No one is perfect. But I'd like to spend these few days with you if you want. I would be happy - I smiled and I hugged him again. From the movement he fell back on the pillows so I was smiling on the top.
- Girl, Ur strange. Still don't understand you, but who cares. If you wanna keeping me company, do so! Tell me something about yourself, let me get to know you!
- What dou you want to know exactly? I don't have such an intresting life as you - I smiled upon him and gave a stroke into his hair.
- Nothing and everything. I don't wanna give you questions, all these questions that I'm asking feel very foolish anyway. Just wanna hear your voice, listening to you, that’s all I want.
- All right, if this is the whish of your heart on your birthday, then I'll fulfill it for you - I replied and gave a quick kiss on his lips, then I rolled down off his chest and laid down next to Dave. I started to speak:
- I talk about my childhood for you. About the time when you enjoy life thoroughly.
- Do you remember how was it being a child? - he asked me with a solemn face. - I remember things I was doing for the first time. The first time I jumped off the high board at the pool, the sleepy summer afternoons I spent mastering the art of gliding on my bike without touching the handlebars, or the days at the sea, when my father held me in his arms as the incoming waves joshed me up and down. Do you remember them?
- Yeah, I do. My grandparents' farm with all the animals and the orchard which was fragnant and beautifully coloured when blooming at springs. And the big walnut tree, on which I could spent whole afternoons reading my fav books for the tenth time. And all the dogs we had during these long years, the ones I grew up with. Yeah, it was so nice. Still, I think now it is a bittersweet joy mixed with sadness, because the nostalgia we feel,as that was a time free of responsibility and full of discovery.
- What was that damned good in experiencing them was a kind of primal, never to come back again. I mean you do things for the first time just once. These experiences of firsts were strange, they bypassed my brain and went straight to my heart. This is the ultimate in living in the moment. When I was a child it was all natural. Now, I have to try it very hard to master it, living in the moment and don't care about the past or future. Hard to reach this state of mind, when you don't think at all, but you feel everything inside and outside with heightened awereness.
- True. But the child is still living inside me and inside you, too. You sure feel it. You are the most sensual creature the faith allowed me to meet. Yes, you are so good in living your emotions to the full and living according to them.
- Oh, you, you are this kind one, always praising me. True, I'm a no-brainer, most of the time I act before I think, probably it's not the best or wisest to do. Your praise drive me, motivates me to do more for myself, for you and for all. You inspirate me. The real praise is your recognition for me. That's why I was talking about first ones. This is the first time I meet someone like you. There's no one other like you. Embracing you is embracing novelty - he said and took me into his arms. I put my head onto his chest and was listening to his heartbeat, the sweetest sound ever. I was sure I was in the centre of the universe in his arms and this sound was the rhytm of life.
I was nearly crying again. No one has told me so beautiful things like Dave.
- If we are at "first times" I must tell, that this is the first time in my life when someone was speaking about me in the way like you did. Your words... - I whispered quietly - I really can't... tell you exactly how important are for me. Do you know that you've touched my soul with them? - I asked as my fingers were stroking his bare skin very slowly and soft. I was mesmerized. My soul was burning like a little but strong flame. He gave me this warmth. He and no one else.
- Thank you, that's all I wanted to hear - he answered and kissed me tenderly. We were just laying there, lovers of each other, embracing one another.
His eyes were still sad and he was tired. It was about time, it began to hurt. Now, even his age was showing. He had a lack of emotional energy now, a lack of aliveness of the mind and spirit that connected him to the vitality and fun of life. He suffered from emotional fatigue, a kind of utter exhaustion of the spirit. But I loved my sad Dave too. This was just one among his many faces. His eyes were like he wanted to reclaim life's meaning.
- David, my dear we should have a rest now, don't you think?
- Yeah, I’m so damn tired. I could use a good sleep.
- All right. Then sleep, my darling. I'll protect your dreams - I replied and smiled during my fingers stroked his brow softly and slid down to his face - Just sleep and have beautiful dreams... - I whispered and gave a kiss on my own finger which touched his lips tenderly.
But sleep came not easily to him. Then he fell asleep at last. He slept while I was watching him. I stayed awake just to have the joy to watch him. Time passed slowly and after a while he sighed a big in his dream and tried talking, but I didn't understand what.
He started to move, he wasn't fully awakened yet, he was twisting and turning, than he opened his eyes.
His eyes looked strange, he was obviously startled where he was, after a few seconds he realised.
- I was dreaming - he said.
- I know, my eyes has seen you. Was it a nightmare? You were so restless.
- No, actually it wasn't, it was pretty pleasant, I was making love to you.
I laughted a bit.
- Making love to me. And it was pleasant... What can I say? It's a honour to be in your dreams.
- We should have to go and do some shopping in town. Help me finding a gift for Rosie!
- Oh, fine. I'll help! I like to walk on the streets and watch the people. And anyway how's she, your little girl? We can't hear too many things about her.
I sat up, and started to search after my clothes.
- You mean my little one? Oh, how sweet she is! She is daddy's little girl, my little star, Stella.
- Oh yes, I know that you love her very much. It's so amazing how you can speak about her. Your little shiny star - I smiled from my heart - Maybe someday I'll have a star too. I hope.
-Yeah, the best thing that ever happened to me was bacome a father. I love my kids beyond any limit. All three of them. I love Jimmy as I loved my step-father and he loves me, too. Great kids, all three of them. Now, can you tell me where can I find fairies?
- Beg your pardon?
- Fairies, she wants fairies from all around the world she collects them.
And we started our search for fairies on the streets of Budapest.
David seemingly liked Budapest. He was eager to see more of it, so I thought I will show him some nice places, like the narrow streets in the castle-district, up the Budai Hills and things like that. I wanted him enjoy his stay in my beautiful country. We'd been up in the little streets when I noticed a small shop with an inviting window.
- Come on Dave, let's have a view inside! - I invited him as I grabbed his hand and we were on our way into the shop already.
A little bell over the door indicated our coming and a lovely old woman smiled at us.
- Segíthetek? - she asked us in my language with a smile on her face.
Dave looked at me questioning.
- She asked if she could help us - I translated - Köszönjük, egyenlőre csak nézelődünk - I smiled back. - I told her that we look around first - I turned to him and pulled him among the shelves.
We went on with looking around. It was a kind of antics selling strange and extraordinary stuff, but it wasn’t an antic shop anyway.
- Look what a nice wooden box is there - pointed Dave to a shelf.
- Oh, yeah, nice carving, fine artwork.
- Can you show it to me, please? - I asked the old lady.
The old woman bowed her head and put the box on the bar in front of me.
I translated for Dave what she told us, the story of the box: - This little box was a property of an old lady who came from an impoverished patrician family. It was a family treasure, a legacy which landed here in the shop after the lady's death a few years ago. As the old shop assistant said the lady was her friend, and the box was very dear for her heart. It contained her important papers - I peeled to Dave and explained with a simle on my face that she meant loveletters.
- Oh, loveletters? Are they? Still inside the box?
- Yes, I think they are - I answered. - Do you want to see them?
- Only, after I buy it. Tell her I take it.
- Hölgyem, az úr itt mellettem megvenné. / Mam, this man next to me want to buy it. /
- Nem is érdekli menyibe kerül? / Isn’t he intrested in it how much it costs? /
- Nem, ne aggódjon, nagyvonalú ember. / No, don’t worry, he’s generous. /
- Rendben. Még valamit? / Ok. Something else? /
- Tündérjeik nem lennének? A kislányának kell. / Haven’t you got fairies? For his daughter. /
- Oh, a kislányának, hogyne. Vannak tündéreink, szintén a hölgy hagyatéka. Kívánják megnézni? / Oh, for his daughter, definitely. We’ve got fairies, they’re the lady’s property too. Do you wish to see them? /
- Feltétlenül. / Certainly. / - Dave, it seems I've found some fairies for Rosie.
- Did you? Let's see them!
The old woman went to a self in the back of the shop for a few minutes. During this little time my fingers followed the carvings on the side of the box. I think Dave looked at me.
- Itt is vannak / Here they are / - said the woman when she arrived back with a paperbox and showed us the ware.
- Oh, they are wonderful! - I said to Dave.
- How intricate work! They must be really old, I think. Nice, little fairies for my little fairy. She would love them!
- Are you gonna take them?
- Sure. Such an amazing little shop this is - commented Dave to me.
I smiled into his eyes again and asked if we all the fairies wanted.
- Yes, of course, all three of them! - he said in a happy expression on his face.
- Mindet visszük / We’ll take all / - I said to the woman and we paid for the 3 fairies and for the box.
She smiled once more and than waved goodbye to us. We stepped outside.
- Are you satisfied? - I asked as Dave took the nylonbag within the box from me.
- Yes, I am, sure. What is it you want now?
- Me? What is you want!?
- Okay for me.
- Dave, do you like Victor Vasarely's work? I know a museum with his pics exhibited. Do ya wanna have a look at them?
- His name isn't so familiar to me, but it can be that I've seen one or two works of his. I dunno - he revoked his shoulder then smiled on me - Let's see that exhibition!
- All right! Let's go! - I smiled back and grabbed his free hand pulling him to the right direction.
We had to walk quite a bit. I was curious if anyone would notice him, ’cause no one did until now. Well, he wasn't actually wearing a black suit with Aviator sunglasses. He had a bluejeans and white Led Zeppelin T-shirt on him and nothing else. He looked just like anyone else.
While we were walking in the direction of our destination I asked him:
- How long collects Rosie these fairies? How much's owner is she now?
- The first few ones was given to her by my lovely wife when she decorated the room before Rosie's birth. Then all our friends liked it a lot and she received about 300 by the time she was 3. And from that on she herself asked more fairies. She likes them a lot. Rearranging her collection time after time. Two huge cupboards are stuffed with them. And if I am able to bring her new ones I always do so. I would do anything for her! Like bringing zebras from Africa if she'd ask me! She is so grateful for them. So cute, jumps to my neck and kissing me all over.
Dave now was smiling radiantly as her daughter came into his mind.
I've heard that parents can act like this. It was a bit strange for me that my heart wrung together a bit from his words. He really adore his little Star.
I don't have any kids yet, but as he talked trough long minutes about his little girl, my eyes got a bit watery. I couldn't say why these feelings came into my heart.
- That's so nice - I said quickly - Maybe you'll remember me from these 3 for a little time after you go back to New York.
- Did I hurt you baby? What's the matter?
- Nothing, nothing - I answered him and I knew it would be wiser not to share my thoughts with him.
- Is it the way I talked about Rosie.
- Yes, I tried to hide my true feelings, it is so moving, how much you love her.
- Oh, yes, of course I am her father. And by the time she was born I knew what a precious thing fatherhood could be. Wasn't a wild one anymore. Kids make you to behave like an adult, no matter you don't feel your age. Until a time, until about they are ten or so, you and your partner, their parents mean the whole world to them.
A little teardrop ran down on my white skin from his words. My heart was acking so hard I could wept! But I hold myslef together so far.
- You know Dave... - I started quietly - as we were talking back in the hotel room about Rosie... I lied to you - I couldn't peer at him I was looking my own shoes as we were walking in a narrow little alley.
- Really? In what?
- I told you... I told you that "Maybe someday I'll have a star too. I hope."...
- That's true. And?
- I... I have just the hope. I can't have a baby... as the doctors said - I faltered it out quietly. My tears started to flow again. - That's why I... love to hear about children and I hurt in the same time so badly...
-You poor thing! But maybe there would be hope somehow. Recent results in medicine are so promising in every aspect.
-Yeah, maybe. Sorry, I didn't meant it to tell you, it was a sudden rush only. I'm sorry once again.
-You shouldn't. I understand what a big burden it could be for a women or for a couple! I've got friends who tried and tried and even test-tube process didn't help.
- Thanks for the compassion you showed.
- Come baby, let me give you a hug. I am great in giving hugs.
I laughted a bit and let him to put his arms around me after he put his bag down.
- It's a bit funny that we know each other only for a day but you managed to see me crying twice - I said as my head laid on his chest.
- Yep, you're a sensitive woman. That's not a problem, but I don't like to see tears on a beautiful woman's face - he looked down at me with a comforting little smile and wiped my tears with his finger down.
- Sorry, I always do such silly things - I replied as I evolved from his arms shamefacedly. - Let's speak about something happier!
- Okay, speak up! What do you want to do after seeing the exhibition? - he asked me.
- What about having a lunch in a fancy restaurant?
- Sounds real good. I'm already starving. Seemingly. I am always hungry, don't really know why. I am always ready to eat.
- So you're kind of greedy.
- In every meaning baby - and he gave a quick soft-bite on to my neck.
I laughted and dragged away myself from him a bit.
- There's no time for this - I said with a smile on my face.
- There's always time for this - he replied and picked up the bag from the soil.
I smiled again. - We'll never arrive to that exhibition... Come on! I'm curious what will be your opinion after the sight!
After a few steps we arrived at last.
- Here we are - I announced him while entering the building. This museum is rather small, but stuffed with Vasarely's work. - Dave, do you like nonfigurative art? 'cause most of his work belongs to this cathegory.
- Actually I do. For example you need just to take a look at my back. I know that celtic tattoo is not really nonfigurative, but I like it. Let's take a look at the exhibition. I've seen some during my life - he answered and stepped into the museum.
I smiled and bought our tickets. We started with the first small room.
And went on slowly. He spent quite a time in front of every pic. He didn't speak a word. I was much quicker in admiring the painings so I sat down and was looking at Dave. He seemed to concentrate rather hard, as he was painting something in his head. His face was tense from the attention he gave. I couldn't help myself staring him.
- Where do you want to eat? - I asked David.
- Anywhere I can find some sea fish and chips, I’ve got a taste for it.
- Well, let's see! Maybe in the Irish Cat, but no, there's no fresh fish there. So, I would say the Páva in the Four Season's Hotel, where you are actually dwelling.
- Okay, let’s go home and after lunch…
- Having some rest, maybe?
- Yes, something like that... - he looked at me deeply with those beautiful green eyes.
- Oh... all right, I'm in it...