Chapter 13

In the last three months I started to feel myself rather uncomfortable. I couldn't really do any serious job from my big and round tummy. If I didn't know it better I would have said that there are triplets inside. I took Fluffy everyday to the park and the riverbank. He behaved himself, came back when I called him and didn't jump on me anymore. He slowly grew into an adult dog. David worked and worked and worked, he hardly been at home at all. There were times when the kids came to visit and I was alone with them, they haven't even met their father. Then Jennifer brought Rosie and all her stuff to us and Rosie moved in to her room. For the first time ever I was talking with Jen and didn't feel myself uncomfortable, her new boyfriend did a good job consoling her. She was to spend six weeks on a plot in Arizona and during this time Jimmy was living at us. Suddenly I became a mother of two and a half kid.

Jimmy was already a big boy so he helped me in everything what I couldn't do now because of my tummy. And of course Rosie wanted to help too. So I never was alone, and Dave seemed happy too when he saw that the kids accepted me and liked staying here.
I was counting the days till Mia's birth. The doc told me it would  be toward the end of November. We were already at the 22nd of November.
I felt myself somehow strange, but I woke up at time and made some breakfast for the kids. Dave weren't at home, he was still in the studio, I thought, 'cause yesterday he went there in the afternoon. One song was still missing from the new album.
The kids were ready to leave for school when I felt a strong pain in my tummy.
- Oh my God! - I said.

A sudden flash came, I weakened and became all wet downsters. I gave out a loud cry and Rosie put his head into the bathroom.
- Anything wrong Natty?
- Rosie dear, call, your father at once, your little sister is coming...
- Natty....I run and call him, are you alright, need any help?
- No, I would be alright, just....go and call daddy..
As I splashed some water on my face and tried to think straight and not panic I heard her voice:
- Daddy, come home at once! Mia…
- What dear, what?
- Daddy, Mia is coming!

- What? Now?! Ehm... I'm coming dear! Take care of Nat! - he said, and Rosie nodded, then she came to me.
- What can we do? - she asked as I slowly sat down.
- Your package is ready! - Jimmy stepped into the room too, after he made my pack I'd take to the hospital with me..
- Thanks, kids. I don't need anything... - I sighed - We... need to wait for your dad. He isn't far.
Another pain came and I closed my lips tightly tried  not to scream.

- Ok, I think I have to go now - I said to them and tried to be quick to reach the loo in time. After it I had a shower knowing I won't have the chance in the hospital, I put on a comfy trousers with a T-shirt and waited for the pain. It came in every ten minutes, than in every five, than in every three and I felt like pushing. Dave would have to hurry or I give birth to his daughter in our bed. And the pain came and came and came, pain hit me in every two minutes and now I had to gain every strength I had not to scream and frighten the kids. I called Jen and asked her if she could collect the kids cause I'm in labour. She understood it and drove to our apartman as fast as she could. By now I was in agony, I felt my whole inside would burst into pieces. Mia was so quick to come. I already felt her head between my tighs. Jen arrived and without a word he took the two kids, rang to our neighbour, an elderly man, she explained the situation and ushered the kids inside. She came back, washed her hands and brought towells. Than she sat by me, took my hands into hers and directed me calmly:  -Now, breath, breath, breath, don't push yet, wait Natalie, wait!
I tried to follow her instructions, but it was hard, I was scraming.
- Breath one big breath and now push. Push, push, push, come on, come on, there is her head, push, push!
- But David! I want him here!
- Sure dear, sure, he’s rushing to you, but now, you should concentrate on the pushing, Dave will arrive in time!
And with her last word Dave rushed into the bedroom, founding me in the middle of labour and Jennifer helping me.

He rushed to me and held my hand tightly. I grabbed him if my life was depending on his touch. I knew that it hurt him, but he didn't say a word, just looked into my scared eyes which were full of pain and relief that he was there at last! He tried to calm me, and said to me with an excited but calm voice:
- Now I'm here, love, it's alright! Don't you fear, I'm with you now.
- Dave I... - I couldn't finish my sentence, 'cause another big cramp came and I screamed again and grasped his hand even harder as I pushed. It was  the most painful thing I ever experienced.
- Alright Natalie, her shoulders are nearly out! Come on, push again! - I heared Jen's voice, but I felt that I can't push it anymore.
Dave looked at Jen with a worried face, not knowing what to do.

- David, call 911 at once. She can give birth here, alright, but she needs medical attention. Don't just stand there, go, go at once! I stay here with her.
- Okay - he stepped into the living room and called 911 in an agitated voice.

- Dave! Dave! Where's Dave?! I want him back! - I shouted semi-conscious from the pain.
- Natalie, don't worry, he's here. He'll come back in a sec! You must concentrate on Mia! You must push! Do it! Now! - Jen said.
- I can't, I can't... it hurts like hell! - I said aloud and I felt tears falling from my eyes.
- Of course you CAN! - she replied - She's almost here, you need to push, or else you two'll die! - she said in a harsh tone. It hit my heart. Dave'd be terribly sad if we...
- No! - I screamed out loud and tried it once again. - Dave! - I grabbed his hand again as he kneeled next to the bed again.

- Dave, you're strong, kneel at Natty's legs and try to pull the baby a bit, as you would pull a stuck cork in the bottle, moving it slowly from side to side - Jen ordered him.
- Who? Me? No way! I am going to faint - he mumbled with trembling lips.
- Do what I told ya! - barked Jennifer - Don't be a softie! You want her to be born healthy, don't ya? The lack of oxigen damages the brain, right, help Natty!
- Alright - he said nervously and went on his knees. He put one hand to the perineum to safe it from tearing apart and he dig one finger inside with a pale face and loosened the head of Mia. And then I pushed as Jen told me and her head was out and pushed one more, her shoulders came out and David pulled out her daughter, keeping the bloodcovered little one in his hands. He started to cry with relief when Mia took her first breath, and another and started to cry.

My whole body was covered with sweat, but I took a deep breath from relief that I heard Mia crying. She was out in one piece! I tried to look up to see them, but first I couldn't do it for a minute. Then I managed with tears in my eyes. They were there! Dave was holding her in his bloody hands and he was crying like me. Without a sound but happiness in his eyes. In the previous minutes Jen brought water in a basin and clean towels.
- Give her to me - she asked quietly from Dave. He did it. Dave was just kneeling there looking what she's done. Jen was amazingly strong but I saw that the events moved her too. She washed the crying Mia and put her into a big towel. After it she laid my baby on my chest for the first time.

She was there, still connected, as the umbilical cord tied her to me. I looked into  her eyes for the first time and greeted her in this world: - Hi baby Mia, it's mummy here!

She was not crying now, she closed her eyes, the light must have disturbed her and started to suck her thumb. Dave was holding me with one arm and was crying like a baby. I gave birth to his new child, but he was the one who literally brought her into this world. He gave us just one caress and yes, Mart was right, I was feeling blessed.
- David, do you want to be the one, who cuts the umbilical cord?
- Yes, I think - he stood up, wiping his tears off  his face and lifting her gaze at Jennifer. He gave her a hug and whispered huskily to her ears: - I don't think I could ever be grateful enough for you. Thank you Jennifer!
- It's alright. It is unbelievable Dave! I mean, I never in my life...
- Neither me… never thought... but, life is, oh God, life is something beautiful! - he said and took the desinfected scissors from her hand.

After he did it, there was a knock on the door. The doctor and his assistants came in. We couldn't even heard the ambulance car coming.
I was softly stroking Mia's back when the doc came to us.
- I see, the little one has arrived already... - he started with a kind voice.

- Oh yes, she did - I answered rather exhausted.

The doc took baby Mia from me and handed to a woman who was the pediatrician and she started examining her.
- What about the placenta, is it out already? - the doc asked.
- What?
- No, it's inside yet - amswered Jen instead of me.
- Okay, I give you a dose of oxytocin and we’d be ready in half an hour.

He did, and I was in agony again, the cramps hit me hard and I wanted to push again. In 20 minutes the placenta was out, the doc examined it if it is compact and not a part of it's missing, ’cause if just one piece stays inside, the unfortunate woman bleeds to death. It was okay.
- Is it really necessary them to go to hospital? – Dave asked.
- No, if you get a midwife while we are here.
- It's okay Dave, I call the one who was there at Rosie's birth - said Jen and she called her. - She said it's okay and now I bring her here and leave you two together. Dave, take care of her, okay? I'll be back with her soon. The hospital is not far from here.

Dave was looking in the direction of the door for some minutes after Jen disappeared. He was extremly thankful to her!
- Dave, don't you want to wash your hands? - I asked quietly as I was able to speak. The woman was still examining Mia.
- Wha...? - then he realized that his hands were still covered with my blood and went out to was it down.
After a few minutes he came back and smiled at us as I was holding Mia on my chest again. He sat down next to us.
- She's healty - I whispered with a shaking voice, and tears ran down from my eyes again.

- Healthy, beautiful and ours - he said obviously very moved. - Mia, lil Mia, my daughter - he caressed her - Thank you Nathalie, thank you.
- Dave!
- Yes, dear?
- Won't you sing her "NEWBORN"?

And he did:

Newborn
For the first time
I'm not born again
I have never lived at all
I've opened up my eyes
Now I hear the world talking
Opened up my eyes
I've just started walking
I've just started walking

I've got someone who cares for me
Someone who believes in me
I've got someone understanding me
Someone crying over me
For all the right reasons
For all the right reasons

Newborn
For the first time
I'm not born again
I have never lived at all
I've opened up my eyes
Now I hear the world talking
Opened up my eyes
I've just started walking
I've just started walking

I've got someone seeing grace in me
Someone respecting me
I've got someone who's there for me
Someone saying prayers for me
For all the right reasons
For all the right reasons

I was still crying from the joy and the tiredness I felt. Mia fell asleep immadiately as she heard her father's deep and familiar voice.
- I love you Dave - I said feeling a bit dizzy.
- Me too, love, me too. Both of you! - he replied and gave a light kiss on my lips.
Then Jen arrived back with the woman she went for. They stood there for a min not to disturb us, then Jen asked Dave to leave 'cause my condition needed some medical treatment, like injections and stuff.

The midwife told her that she could go out too. So she followed David and she closed the door behind her. Dave was leaning to the wall in the living room and stared in front of himself. Jennifer stepped to him: - Congratulations Dave to the lil one!

- Thanks, Jen - he replied, but after a minute he suddenly hugged her firmly.
She was surprised but replied the hug.
- I was so scared... so fucking scared, that I could loose them! - he whispered with a trembling body.

- Oh, no, you tend to choose strong women.. She would have been able to go through it all alone, but a little help never hurts.
- Jen!
- You shouldn't say a thing, I know your kind, what's in your mind. You needn't thank me. Now, that we are separated I see some things in another light. What happened is happened, the damage is done. But as I see it, from the ruins of your marriage a wonderful relationship was grown. I don't say I don't sorry for what happened and that we are not together anymore, but we both accepted the facts. And I wish you happiness with your new family. Hey Dave, no tears, okay? It's not that bad!

- Jen, you're a wonderful woman! God bless you!!! - he replied with tears in his eyes, and gave a kiss on her chin then he caressed her face.
- Dave... - she felt something inside her chest, but she held down that feeling - Dave, I must go now. The kids are waiting at the neighbour.

- Don't supress your feelings Jen, we still have feelings for each other, you are still important to me and will never forget all those things you did for me during the years and did for us just now. You are still the mother of my kids, I...
- Don't...ya..do...this to...me, Dave! - and she was in tears and just stared into her ex-husband’s eyes - You.. know.., never mind..I collect the kids..
She tried to step one to the left, but Dave held her by the shoulders still crying and he told her: - It's such a damned, miserable thing, that you only realise how much you loved someone when you've already lost your loved one.

- Yes Dave, life is cruel. We always knew that. But there’s always a little ray of light. And your’s is  in that room. Take care of them. I have someone who cares for me. So… that’s all. And now please let me go.

And he did it after a soft kiss on her lips. She looked at him, and went out from the flat.

Dave draw in a big breath and waited Jennifer back with the kids. Sure, they want to see their lil sis. In the meantime he called his mum and told her that her new grandchild has arrived.

She was very happy and said that she'll arrive tomorrow and the family'll come after a few days to visit the little one.
He said 'OK', and put his cell away as he leaned to the wall and took another deep breath. The last hours were a big shock for him. He helped Mia into this world! He! He couldn't believed it. It was a  more intensive feeling than Rosie's birth.

The midwife came out at last and said he can go inside. She sat down in the living room and asked Dave if he wants her to get some meal ready.

But Dave couldn't eat. He was still too excited and shocked. He entered the room where Nat and Mia were resting. The lil one laid next to her mother in soft blankets. Nat's eyes were closed, he tought she was sleeping. He sat down next to the bed quietly and stroked her pale face. She slowly opened her eyes.

- Dave, dear, you're back.
- Uhuh. Are you okay? Anything hurting?
- It's alright, the doc gave me painkillers intravenously, I'll be alright.
- Good then. Isn't she a real beauty? - he asked with tenderness in his voice.

- Yes, she is. Thank you, darling, that I could give birth to her. I'll protect her from everything - she whispered quietly, and held Dave's hand with a weak grab.

- I’ll have a shower and come to bed to you. She can sleep in the middle.
- Darling! Would you be so kind to boil water and bring a bottle for her?
- Sure, dear, sure.
- I try to breast feed her while you are taking a shower.
- Natalie, wait for me, please. I want to be part of this, wanna see, how my beautiful lover become the mother of my daughter. You know, with this birth not only a child was born, but a mother too. You are a mummy now..
- I... know... - I answered suddenly weeping - David, you made me a mother!

I reached out and caressed his shoulders still crying.
- You made me... you made me a mother, Dave! I'm so unbelivable grateful! I thought... I thought I can never be one myself, you know! I was so afraid that I couldn't have a child ever! But you gave me one. You and no one else! I love you Dave! I love you, I love you so much! - I wept.

- Don't you cry, don't you cry, I don't want tears flowing from your eyes.
- These are the tears of sheer happiness I never experienced before.
- I love you Natalie, I love you so.

I was just crying in his arms, then I let him go to get that shower. I was alone with our newborn baby. She was so beautiful, her face got calmer and softer in every minute. I was just adoring how little she was. Her lil face, closed eyes, nose, lips, ears and every part of her body! She was so perfect, and she was my little daughter, and Dave Gahan was her father! I was so amazingly happy! I didn't care the pain and the tiredness what I had in my body. I was so happy to see Mia next to me, and it was unbelivable that a few hours ago she was inside me, but now...
I was stroking her back really softly when Dave arrived back in a green T-shirt and old blue jeans.

He sat next to me and took Mia into his arms softly rocking her and whispering a lullaby to her ears. She opened her eyes and yawned an enermous one at her father's face.
- Hey Mia, don't ya want to swallow daddy in one, do you? - he smiled - Nat, I change her nappies before you feed her, right?
- Yeah, yeah. Let me watch you, I never in my life changed nappies. As a father you did it for thousands of times.
- Ok then, I do it right here on the bed. See? You put a blanket under her tiny ass then you open her dress, but don't undress her, just open it and you open the nappies...Hey, Mia, what's this? You filled the nappies to the full! Now natty, you clean the little one moving the towell from the front to the back, put used tissue to the nappy, close it. Apply some baby-powder, put the new nappy under her, close it, fix her dress and ready. See?
- David, ur amazing, how skilled you are and how swift!
- Practise, no more no less. After just one week you will do it just like me. Here, put her onto your breasts, I hold her, helping a bit, as you are still weak.
Mia knew instantly what to do and after the third try she could keep the nipples in her mouth and sucked it. Dave was grinning like someone who won the lottery.
- Ur cute Natty, ur so cute and beautiful, ur my family, I love you.
- Me too. Dave, what about the kids, where is Rosie?
- In her room, sleeping. They came to meet with their new sis with Jen, but you were soundly sleeping. Giving birth to a kid wore you off. Are you alright?
- Yes David, I'm alright and can't be any happier. How did they like the lil one?
- They adored her. Jimmy was shy, but Rosie, man, was overenthusiastic. I had to save Mia from her hands. But she would make a great elder sister, she held her safe in her hands. And, Jen! I gave Mia to her and she got the first smile from her. Not me, not you, but her. Guess, she was melting!

- Oh my.... - I smiled then looked down at her when she bit my nipple a bit harder - So Rosie melted from you too, huh? I know she'll love you very much, just like us.
Dave smiled at us and stroked Mia's head very carefully. She was really hungry!
- My mom'll arrive tomorrow to visit our lil precious treasure, and the others'll come later when you two'll get stronger.
- Alright, Dave - I said then my face darkened suddenly. My beloved mother came to my head.

- I'm so sorry my mum can't see our lil one and my wonderful man - I sighed a big one.

- Don't be sad baby. You can't change the facts. Probably she is watching down from heaven and smiling at us.

- Yes, maybe you're right, but after all I miss her so. She'd love Mia so - I felt as my tears ran down from my face again, but I was already smiling as I looked at our hungry baby again. - She's so cute and beautiful! I can't belive it, David...

He just nodded and after Mia finished eating, he laid next to us and held us in his arms gently. I fell asleep inmediately from tiredness, and couldn't felt when he was kissing my forehead softly. Dave was mesmerized and couldn't believed what had happened.

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