Chapter-XIII.

                                          On our way to the airport I was watching Wellington's streets.

They were airy and empty as a beer jug toward the morning hours. Not a big wonder. It was another ugly day with not wellcomed snowfall and heavy wind. It was snowing that hard the driver barely could follow the car in front of him. The road was slippery, we felt the wheels simply refused to stick onto the road.

 David was talking on his cell constantly.  One call  was followed by the other and the other. I was hearing he greeted Jennifer. I stiffened in my seat and felt myself awfully uncomfortable. What if she would simply scratch my eyes out. I wasn't sure I wouldn't do it myself if I was walking in her shoes. There was worry in her voice, probably because of David.

I was ashamed of  being who I was, feeling a little whore inside. It's just not right to interfere  with their life.

What could I do, Dave himself asked me to stay by his side, I wasn't persuaded him.

On the contrary, I would say I'd been reluctant in the name of sobriety.

At last they finished their talk and said goodby to each other. There was no softly whispered I love you,- me, too- at the end. Hmmm.

He turned to me. So you talked with your husband, did you?

                       Yes, I did.

                       How he accepted it?

                       Calmly. As he is this calm type of a man. But I can't see into his head.

                       Does he know about everything?

                       No, I don't think so.

                       What do you mean you don't think so?

                       He knows we had sex.

                       And?

                       No more. I told him how we were escaped from danger. How we lived there, the storm, the rescue and the hospital.

                       Hasn't he asked more?

                       No.

                       Do you really love him?

                       Yes, genuinly. Truly, whatever. I do love my husband whatever you think, I protested.

                      Easy, easy, I didn't want to hurt ya. It was just a question. I want to know if he would beat me up on the airport in Nyc.

                       He won't. He is not like that. Civilised. By the way I was thinking the same, you know, Jen, as she has mediterranian blood in her veins as having a Greek origin. Did you know my great grandfather came from Greece to Hungary and settled there. He was a confectioner.

                      Wow, he made chocs and cakes, didn't he? Great!

                       Yeah, sort of.

                       I was very open with Jen and told her everything going into full details.              She knows what I want and accepted it. She would love you, you'll see!

                       It's hard to imagine. Try to think with her head.

                       That's what I do. I know her.

                       Well, my hubby respects you, even like the music you made, but I'm not sure you two would watch football together on a sunday afternoon.

How could have I known they would.

                           On the airport there was a fully developed chaos. Staff were running headless around. It was crowded to the full. Besides the strong noise, the shouting, swearing of men,the high pitched, excited talk of the women and the loud cry of tired and desperate children  a rather loud music, some Justin Timberlake song came from the speakers. It was music for the masses.

Dave took my hand and led me to the VIP room and said  we should stay here until boarding. A young woman came in an uniform and brought refreshments, newspapers and magazines. That's what I was needed, coffee, croissant anf fresh news. I sat down to a table. Dave stood behind me and was talking on the phone again, he rested his free hand on my shoulder. He talked to Jonathan, if I am right, details about our arrival.

He was worried about our departure because he was informed about heavy delays, maybe even  clearing flights. He put down his cell to the table and sat down himself. I poured coffee to him. He had a worried  and pissed off look on his face.

The flight attendant, who served us was staring and staring, didn't move a bit.

                            David, c'mon sign a serviette to her, she must be a fan of yours. I know it's intimidating that she stares us this way, but if the same would had happened to me on an airport I would have done the same. Maybe she is afraid to come here and ask it herself.

                            As you wish, My Lady, and he waved for the girl. She almost ran toward him, stumbled twice on her way. Man, I saw my previous self in her.

                            Can, I help you in some way, she asked hesitantly.

                            Well, my companion suspects that you are maybe a Depeche Mode fan, I was just wondering if you would like me signing for you a piece of paper.

                             Oh, Mr. Gahan that would be great.

                             Hmm, David..

                             Well, yes David, if you would be so kind to do so.

                              Who I can sign it for?

                              Sybil O'Hara, that is my name.

                              Sybil, ok, done, here you are.

                              Oh, thank you Dave, I am so glad we met, I'm a huge fan of yours and wanna thank you for entertaining us. I just love your voice.

                              Thank you, I appreciate that.  I kicked his ankle a bit, give her a hug, I whispered. He sighed and stepped to the girl. He gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. She was visibly shaking. She thanked it and went dizzily away. I must have made her day. I was smiling in myself, God, how much I wanted something like this to happen to me before I really did met Dave. Nothing's impossible, indeed.

He sat back and started sipping his hot coffee and pulled a New York Times in front of him. He looked up and asked me - You ain't jealous?

                            Jealous, why?

                            Well,  me giving a kiss and a hug to a complete stranger.

                            The more we share the love the more we got. If I were that girl I would have been liked a hug from you, the kiss was an extra. It is called empathy, to see yourself in others' place.

                             You are such a nice person, do ya know it? I promise you will get tired to see me spreading love to fans, there are always a lot of them everywhere.

                             And all goes mad when they see you.

                             Yeah, I still don't understand what could be the trigger.

                             This is the first time for me I see it from the other side, from your side.

                             Strange feeling, isn't it? Look, Mauka we have some serious trouble here. Our flight has just been cleared. And there is no other one. No chance in the next day one would departure because of the severe weather conditions. I tried to persuade Jonathan to arrange us a private jet, he says it is rather dangerous in a weather like this, but I want to go. Now he is negotiating with a company in this very moment. He would call me back in about half an hour, until we can have a rest. Would you stay here, I buy something for my and your kids, okay, just you wait.

He walked away briskly. I was on my own. He is always on the move, can't stand still. He was a problem child for sure, that's why he is so patient with his children. He loves them a lot. I started to read the news, on the third page there we were . It announced our lucky escape and informed everyone there were severe casualties as twenty from the twenty six persons involved are dead or had been lost in the avalanches. Four were in satisfactional condition, but two were fighting death in this moment, too. There were a short interview with rescue team members. Later I learned two of Dave close friends were dead. Huge loss for him, and he felt guilt sitting on his shoulders. He couldn't have foreseen the avalanches beforehand, but still he thought this was his fault mainly choosing a plot like that for shooting the video.

                          I looked at my cell, it was high time for him to return. I read hastily through the other news and I felt no interest, I felt no connection with this world, I continued living in my little world. I called my husband again to tell him our delay. He said he already talked with David.

                          You, talked to him, I asked him terrified and went all numb.

                          Yes, I did. He said you'd come with a private jet. How's the weather there, he asked.

                           Not very nice, heavy snowfall with fierce wind, sounds scary for me. But Dave wants to go.

                            And you do what he wants, don't you, I heared accusation in his voice. It took me a while to answer him.

                           It was more than weather you talked about, ain't I right?

                           Yes, much more.

                           Laci, I am sorry.

                           I bet you don't. You wanted this, didn't you?

                           But not at the price loosing you.

                           He said he wants to live with you.

                           What? No, you misunderstood something, it's not like that, not true.

                          It is true, I heared him saying it.

                          No, it can't be. We.., it wasn't like that, I don't know what happened to him.

                           He said he bought an apartment for the two of you.

                           Well, it is actually true, he did.

                           Then, I don't see, what you are talking about.

                           It is, well, I hope you would understand me, it was more than having sex with him.

                           I've already guessed it, if Dave Gahan just calls you and announces he takes your wife and he is sorry that, that gives some hints for you.

                           Laci, please listen to me. I don't want to leave you. Neither you, nor our children, I will, I said, I will go home.

                          I am  still waiting your explanation.

                          It was like I would visit him once in a while and it wasn't about moving in with him. I never wanted to blast my and his family, never. I am already feel guilty as charged. I am so sorry hurting you, I know it is not right, I am not looking for absolution, I know you won't understand it but I couldn't resist him.

                          Are you sure you wanna stay with me and not him?

                          Yes, I am.

                          But you two want to see each other, right?

                          Well, yes.

                          How often?

                          I do not know, I know nothing.

                          I'm trying hard but it's not easy to digest this meal you two cooked for me.

                           I know.

                           That's all you wanna say to me?

                           It would be lame if I would say I am still loving you, but I am.

                           Oh, come on, Mau, that's all?

                           Where are you now,?

                           Your David got a room for us in the Plaza hotel, very posh , everything, I'm feeling myself terrible here. A scarecrow in the ball of the crows.

You are not like this, this is not your world, he is so different, he is not like you.

                             You are mad at me, right?

                             Yes.

                              I understand you.

                             I don't think you are. You are my wife, not his, damn.

                             Was he rude with you?

                             Oh no, on the contrary, he was very charming, his words were smooth like a silk scarf and as suffocating, too.

                              You don't want to hurt him, tell me.

                              No. Shit, all you can do is  worrying for him.

                              And for you. I will not tell you to be good friends and I know it is a situation very hard to deal with.

                              Well, definietly it is. Emese, for God's sake, I love you.

                              I love you, too.

                              Besides David, right? Is he that good in bed or what.

                              It's more than that. We can supply each other's needs.

                              Oh, nice! Me and his wife couldn't do that? You are selfish.

                              I know, we are. I can't explain it better and I don't expect you to be happy with the situation, but you have to accept it.

                              Have to?

                              If you want me staying, yes. Make up your mind and let me know about your decision. I should accept it whatever you would decide. I am sorry and good night.

I put the cell down and was staring in desbelief. I wanted to know what Dave exactly said to my husband. How dared  he just call him? He drives me, controls me like I was a puppet. Well, anyway I had had to confront my husband sooner or later, now it's done. Poor him, he wasn't asking for this, he deserves better than me. I told myself it was alright, but it wasn't, maybe I can't ride two horses with one ass after all.

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