Note: After nearly one year of writing this fanfiction we present you the last chapter of The Sweetest Perfection. I must tell that at the end Mauka moved me very much and every time I read the last paragraph of this chapter, my eyes get teary. Thank you my dear for sticking by during this long time and story. Thank you for staying up with me all night long and for the valuable minutes! It was a wonderful experience! Useless-girl
We hit the road, walking hand in hand. Mart was waiting at home and he was very nervous – partly because he was hungry too, partly because following my example he tried to minimize drinking and this made him tense.
We went into a not so far elegant restaurant, where I put my hand onto Mart’s shaking one, which was resting on the table, trying to calm him down a bit. I knew that sometimes touches helped him. And it worked – we were waiting for the food to arrive calmer.
During dinner they told me quietly about everything they’d been doing while I was gone and they tactfully avoided speaking about the rehab – not that it would have bothered me. I felt like a new person and I was ready for life and love. I was full of energy. Maybe I was shining too from their presence and I was just listening and listening to their voices and thanked to god again. A movie came into my mind, where the main character was David too. David Duchovny. It was an excitingly erotic piece with suppressed emotions. “Julia’s two lovers”. Well yes, there was a similar scene there too. Sometimes I still felt that this wasn’t my life, that these things were happening to someone else.
But they were talking to me, they embraced me – paying full attention – and I could see clearly that I’d end up on the bed with my two bed-acrobats loving me in the same time, taking me higher and higher, until we fall asleep in one pile from exhaustion and emotions.
It was so unreal as I looked onto my beauty, who – instead of wildness – was smiling gently, paying attention to his friend, nodding: Dave was like the statue of interest. Then he tried to stress his words with waving his fork. Mart flashed a kind smile at him and put his hand onto Dave’s wrist. He stopped sawing in the air and put the fork down onto the edge of his plate guiltily. Mart nearly melted from the sight as the other man’s eyes fell onto the table.
I found them very sweet. Like teenagers in love. Dave was confused and he blushed too. Just the two of them knew what this was all about, but it didn’t disturb me. We had some moments with Dave – and even with Mart – which just the two of us could understand. And it was good this way.
It was so good to live like anyone else! Dave was always in the studio. Mart was supervising the building operations and I, I… oh god, nausea came upon me again. I left my laptop on the coffee table and ran into the bathroom to throw up my breakfast. I’ve got exasperated. I didn’t want to be sick again, I didn’t want the hypothetical pain to return. I wanted to be healthy for them and for myself. It wasn’t a coincidence that I’ve changed my lifestyle since I’ve got out of the rehab a few months ago. One thing was that Rosie moved in with us and I’ve been cooking a lot since then and I avoided alcohol completely.
I waited until the nausea was gone and washed my teeth. There was no need for the boys – especially for Dave – to know that sometimes I still felt sick a bit. I staggered out dead pale from the bathroom – luckily Dave wasn’t in the dining room, he would have notice it right away. Just Rosie asked what the problem was, but I quickly calmed her. In the afternoon I jumped into the car and bought a pregnancy test. I was waiting for the results impatiently, my heart throbbing hard in my chest…
I felt a lump in my throat and felt tears welling up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I sat down onto the edge of the tub, holding the test in my head. It was positive. An unbelieving smile crawled onto my face and I blushed hard as the blood was pounding in my ear. Is this really possible? Can I be this lucky? After… after my miscarriage I can have another chance? I could hardly swallow and I’ve started crying silently from happiness. But before I could start thinking about how to tell the news to the boys, I had to be sure that the test wasn’t wrong…
For a few minutes I tried to calm down, but my eyes were shining madly from happiness. I washed my face with cold water then caressed my taut tummy carefully. I tried not to empathise to this too much, so I rather walked out of the bathroom and asked Dave to watch over Rosie, cuz I had to get some things from the shop. I didn’t want him to know I was going to see my gynaecologist, who – after about one and a half hour – confirmed the fact: I was pregnant.
I was beyond happy, but I tried to hold myself back. I set the table for dinner in a special way that night – I’ve put a little envelope to everyone’s plate. It contained an ultrasound photo of the embryo, which seemed to wave and wrote under the picture: “Hello, I’m coming! Signed: Baby”.
I was damned curious and excited about how they’ll react. Although I didn’t know who the father could be, but this didn’t really matter now, just the fact that I was very happy. Sitting by the table I was stroking my tummy unnoticeably with one hand and knew that my eyes were shining happily. During cooking even Dave asked me - when he came out of the studio for a coke – what was with me, cuz I was smiling constantly. I dismounted him with an “I have a good day” and after a kiss I shooed him back into the studio. And now I was waiting for them to open the envelopes. I was more than nervous, cuz I didn’t know how they’ll take the news.
Well, they were shocked. Both of my cats new that I wasn’t kidding, they saw my happiness. They were just staring and staring at the picture in his hands then Dave looked up and asked: “How old is the baby?”
“My doctor said that it’s six weeks old. What do you say?” I smiled.
They boys were very-very confused, cuz none of them could embrace me as if I was his wife, telling me “Sweetie!”. And Rosie was there too. Finally they shrugged and laughed at each other – Rosie didn’t have to know about everything. They jumped up – Dave’s chair even hit the ground. They took me into his arms and run along the table with me. Rosie liked it and giggled.
“And then this means that I’ll have a little sister or brother?! That’s so cool!” Rosie exclaimed and ran to me and hugged me.
“Exactly that” I smiled down at her and stroked her hair “Later you can teach her or him how to play.”
She just laughed and I saw that Dave’s eyes softened as he watched us. Then Wanda – Rosie’s nanny - appeared. We asked her to stay with the little girl for a while, until everything calms down a bit and Stella Rosie liked her a lot anyway. The nanny took her to bed and we were left alone in the dining room. In the silence I looked from one guy to the other.
“Do you have any idea who the father can be?”
“No, Mart. I’ve tried to guess it by its age, but lately all three of us made love with each other, so I have no idea. One thing is sure” I laughed “you’re the daddies!” I grinned. I saw Dave turning from lover to worrying dad. He put one arm around my waist and the other slid onto my tummy and he asked every kind of things. Mart was holding my other hand.
“And guys, what do you want? A little boy or a girl?”
“It doesn’t matter!” they said in the same moment and I laughed.
“But it really doesn’t matter” Mart went on “The most important thing is that it should be healthy.”
“Yep. We’ll love it anyway, its sex doesn’t matter” Dave winked, but I saw behind his easy behaviour that he was deeply moved from the chance of being a daddy again. As I looked over at Curly I saw that he was moved as well. Oh god, how I loved them!
“And now that I’m clean, it’ll be healthy” I wiped away a teardrop, thinking of my lost baby “You don’t even know how much this thing means to me” I sniffled and smiled. Mart offered a hanky “I really hope that there’ll be no problem around my pregnancy. I was afraid a bit, but I’m happy that things turned out this way” I looked at them “Oh god, it’s so good that it has such great dads!” I sighed and they started snickering.
“This… Mia, this, this…” Mart moaned.
“… sounds bloody stupid…” Dave ended his sentence.
“But that’s the truth!” I hugged both of them and gave a peck onto their faces “Seriously. I love you very much and I couldn’t have wished for a better family for the baby” I smiled.
Months passed by and my tummy was growing and growing. Aside of the nausea at the beginning and some discomfort, I had no problems. We calmed down in bed, they loved me gently and one by one. Mart’s house was ready, but he rarely went there to sleep, we stayed together, like puppies in the kennel, cuddling together. We often watched telly in the master bedroom, all three of us lying on the big bed. On those nights one of them – or both of them – was caressing my belly and I smiled warmly or just slept in his arms. I was the happiest woman in the world. I’d have never thought that from that crazy day I – we – will get here…
On another night like that I sighed. I’ve been feeling weird all day long. Then I cried out and winced from the pain. I still had three weeks until the big date. I was scared and called out David’s name, who – peeking into the room and seeing my painful expression – jumped forward immediately.
“What’s the problem?” he ran to the bed.
“My belly – it hurts like hell!” I pressed my eyes shut.
“But you still have…”
“Yes I know!” I grabbed his hand painfully “Please, take me to… the hospital!” I moaned from another strong stitch.
“Right away, okay, okay, I speak with Mart and Rosie. Do you want me to pack some things for you, kitty?”
“It’s done, just hurry, cuz, jeez!”
I’ve never seen him this quick, but I hadn’t got much time to watch him, cuz another stitch came and I barely could stand up, but somehow I’ve managed with Martin’s help.
“Where’s Dave?” I moaned, while Martin quickly wiped off the sweat from my forehead and led me carefully towards the door.
“He brings the care, don’t worry. Everything’ll be fine.”
“How do you know?” I asked desperately, cuz it hurt like hell “Martin, I’m scared that something’s wrong!”
“Relax, relax! I think that it’s probably just that Dave’s the dad” he tried to joke “Congratulations to the next hyperactive member of the family!”
I smiled faintly, but just very faintly. I was really scared. Then they helped me into the car. Martin sat behind the wheel and Dave sat next to me on the backseat. We left Rosie with Wanda. They boys told them that they’ll give a call when they can come to the hospital to see the baby. None of us knew whether it’d be a boy or a girl – just the doctor new. We wanted a surprise. And now this surprise was giving me hard pain. We were maybe half-way from the hospital when I felt wetness between my legs.
“Dave… the amniotic fluid!” I pressed through my teeth.
“Uh, baby, then this is it! Jeeeez, we’ll soon have a baby!” he grinned.
“Oh yes, but I have to press it out of me!” I moaned.
“Sorry, sweetie!” he looked at me with his big puppy eyes, but now this couldn’t move me too much. The next pain came and I had to cry out loud again.
“This fucking hurts!! Why does it want to come out this quickly? Mart… are we far from the hospital?!”
“Keep it easy, Mia, we’re almost there.”
“Couldn’t we do it now??” I grabbed Dave’s hand again and gave him a bone-cracking squeeze.
“Now? What now?” he asked.
“Getting there!!” I pressed through my teeth with difficulty.
“We’re here!” Mart stopped the car.
“Thank God!” I sighed then I don’t really know how, but we got into the hospital and my doctor appeared.
He examined me and told me happily that “Now we’ll bear a child, okay?”
Okay or not – I’ve started doubting this – I had to do it. He took us up into a room and asked which one of them was the lucky father. We shared a look behind his back. I had to say something – Dave, Dave was my pair.
“Alright than he can come in for the labour too to help you Mia. You’re coming in, right?” he turned to the dead pale Dave.
“Sure you come!” I looked at him vigorously and squeezed his hand again then I sent an apologizing look toward Martin, who just gave me a lop-sided smile and shrugged. I saw that somewhere it hurt him, but they always let just one father in!
“Well, doc, it seems that someone had decided it without me” Dave smiled at him faintly.
“Great! Then the nurse’ll explain what you’ll have to do. Meanwhile we prepare the missy here.”
“Will it hurt badly?” I asked unsure.
“Well every labour is different, but you Mia have already dilated to four and a half finger. The baby comes like an express train. Just 5-10 minutes and you’ll want to push. I think you’ll have to wait just one or two hours and the baby’ll arrive. Not bad for the first labour” he smiled reassuringly.
“Cool. Just get over with this already” I murmured and put my head back onto the pillow then I tried not to yell too loud from the next ache.
“A few minutes and we go to the labour room” the doc squeezed my shoulder reassuringly then he hurried out of the room to arrange some things and I was alone with the guys again.
When I asked some water from the nurse, she nodded ‘no’ with her head and gave me an infusion. They laid me down onto the labour bed and when my doctor came back he examined me again. The results were very good and in the silence we heard just the baby’s quick heartbeats on the monitor. Then the pain came more often and I thought I’d die as I was squeezing Dave’s hand, who gallantly tried to encourage me.
Now they were holding me firmly and my doc asked me to pay attention on the right breathing technique and the pushing. I thought I’d burst. I’ve lost connection to the outside world and I was listening inwards on my baby, whom I was giving birth and asked my muscles to let this little life out. Then with a loud smack – like the cork comes out of the bottle – our beautiful son has arrived.
Dave and I were crying from relief as they put the baby on my chest. He didn’t cry or whimpered, he was just moving a bit in the lamp’s dim light and pretended that he could see us. He was beautiful. Perfect. The most beautiful baby-boy in the world! And one of them – no, both of them – made me a mother! It didn’t matter who was the father, we just melted from this sight! It was beautiful! And I was just crying from happiness and from the proud look in Dave’s eyes.
As I was stroking our little son – who got the Matthew Martin name – I had no doubt who his father was. A little Gahan was moving on my chest. But I asked David to ask for the right documents from the nurse and tell her that the child’s grandfather sticks to the test, because of the heritage. The nurse just nodded and did what she had to do and assured us that we will know the results very soon. I nodded and after they took my baby away to wash him down and other stuff, they took me into another room too. Now I was more presentable, although my whole body was aching like hell, I was happy and asked David to call Martin in too. The nurse let us alone with my son. This was the very first time in our lives when we could be really alone as I was waiting for the boys.
He had dark hair and pouting mouth and he had dark-blue eyes, like every newborn. Within three weeks it’ll turn out which colour his eyes’ll be. Somehow his features reminded me totally on David. I was curious about the DNA results, but inside I was somehow very sure that Dave was his father. For the time being he seemed like a calm baby, he didn’t cry as he was panting on my chest, resting after the labour. He was so sweet with his little hands, small nose and mouth and eyes, which were blinking sleepily! I just realised after minutes that the guys were standing in the door, mesmerised.
“Martin!” I reached towards him with my right hand while my left was holding the small bundle carefully to my chest.
“Can I take a look?” he asked quietly.
“Sure!” and I let him take the baby into his arms.
“Hi there, big guy! Dave, ehmm, I guess I know who his father is” he laughed “Hi little Dave! Did you choose a name for him?”
“His name is Matthew Martin.”
“Really?” he looked at me, carefully holding the baby.
“Yes Martin” I nodded.
“Be… because of me?” his voice failed him. He was moved.
“Sure! Cuz you are his other daddy!” I smiled at him with a tired smile.
“Thank you, thank you! So he’ll have two dads in the end?”
“Sure Mart! We need the test just because of his last name.”
“The funniest thing’d be, if he had one of those long names the kings had: Matthew Martin Gahan-Gore!” Dave laughed, but Mart hushed him, cuz it seemed that Matt fell asleep.
“Boys, why not? I’d like it very much!” I smiled up at the proud dads – both of them still adored the newest member of our family. Dave put his thumb to the baby’s little hand and Mart did the same on the other side and our little one grabbed both fingers. They laughed out loud.
“He’s so strong!” Martin whispered amazed.
“Just like me!” Dave pushed out his chest proudly.
I’ve noticed that he didn’t say ‘just like his father’. I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt Martin, but it was clear that now Curly was too busy with the baby, who tried to focus with his eyes now that he wasn’t able to sleep, but of course he couldn’t see the guys clearly yet.
The results of the test assured me: little Matt was a Gahan descendant. The test showed this without a doubt.
After a few hours I was still tired and slow, but I left the hospital with our baby and the guys, so I could rest at home. Home? How strange it was to say it! The estate grew quickly to my heart, just like the boys did at the beginning, but to tell the truth it didn’t really matter where I was with him. My home was where they were. And it felt good to think of this, taste it and say it out loud… Finally I really belonged to somewhere. It was strange that fate wanted me to find my place on the side of two legendary and not trouble free musicians.
As I was walking in the garden with the baby on my arm and the guys on my side, Mart suddenly nudged Dave “Sweetie, I wrote some lyrics. Don’t you want to do a new album?”
“Sounds great” Dave smiled “I couldn’t go on a tour with Hourglass because of you anyway” he gave a peck onto my face and he squeezed Mart’s hand.
“You’ll show me the lyrics, won’t you?” I turned to Martin immediately – the DM fan was still inside of me “I’m very curious!”
“Sure. This time you’ll know them from first hand” he winked at me.
Matt fell asleep in my arms and I gave him to one of his dads, who put him down carefully onto the bed. We three – his parents – lay down around him. Martin swept some papers onto his lap from the nightstand and for a start he pushed one to our hands. We sank into reading. I started to cry and Dave squinted up from time to time at Martin with shining eyes, who was watching Matt and us musing and smiling. But in what a way! I saw him rarely like this. We switched papers with Dave and were reading again. Both of us knew which song was about whom and what.
“Martin, these are beautiful!” Dave leant to him and kissed into his neck “I’m suspecting that you love us, huh?”
“Me?” Mart stuttered “… yes, yes, I love you from the bottom of my heart and soul” but instead of giving a kiss onto Dave’s or my teary face, he kissed our son.
Leaning over the sleeping Matt I kissed Mart softly and caressed his face then I got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. My tears were still falling as I searched for a hanky and sat down onto the edge of the tub. My emotions were swirling in me. I loved them beyond words and if it was possible, Martin touched my soul even more. If I was crying just from the lyrics, I didn’t know what I’d do when the songs were ready. By the time I pulled myself together and stepped out of the bathroom quietly, I saw that Martin carefully lay down next to Matt, protecting him with one hand around his tiny body and he was sleeping with his son too. Dave gave a kiss first onto the baby’s forehead then onto Mart’s then he looked at me.
We stood up and let Mart and little Matt sleep. We walked outside onto the terrace so Dave could smoke and for a while we were watching the English garden silently, which’s designer was Dave. With his free hand he was holding mine and we were sitting there quietly. Time seemed to stop. Everything seemed so peaceful – I couldn’t believe that all those things had happened which we lived through.
“So that’s why I came back” I noted quietly.
“What do you mean?” Dave asked, coming back from his thoughts.
“Because of Matt, Martin and you” I looked at him “This is why I came back from ‘there’” I squeezed his hand harder. He pulled me gently onto his lap and embraced me while giving me a kiss.
“I know, sweetie” Dave embraced me tighter “But now we take care of you and protect you.”
“I’m happy with you Dave, I love you all.”
“I know, I know.”
“I can’t believe that I’m a mother now! Because of you two… because of you… You know… somehow I felt all way long that you were the father… Remember that night, when the two of us were together in my bedroom?”
“Sure I remember that night. We were making love the whole night long!” he smiled sweetly.
“After one of our lovemakings… I felt something was different. I think that was when…”
“Possible. So you say you sensed it? And you knew all way long that the baby was mine?”
“I didn’t know, just felt it in my guts. David, I love you.”
“I love you too. And I love that little sleeping wonder next to that big jerk. The little man born from the two of us… Jeez, Mia, you don’t even know how happy you made me! It’s such a great feeling loving all of you freely, without limits! It’s a relief. A pure cure.”
“You can rest just until he wakes you up during the night with his crying!” I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his grizzled hair.
“I can’t sleep anyway! Mart’s the sleeping beauty! I’ll go to take care of Matt gladly, you know that!”
“Yes, I know. It’s so unbelievable that you, you two are my child’s fathers!”
“I must confess that this is something new for us too. We have never thought that we’d live with you in such a relationship, that you’d accept us this much… that you’d do anything for us. I’m very glad that I ran out of choc back then.”
“Why?” I jogged his shoulder a bit with my index finger.
“Cuz this way we’ve found you. Or I should say Andy did that! Jesus, we still have to thank to him for that!” he laughed.
“Well, he can come to visit the baby.”
“And he’ll come, I know. Come in, sweetie” he embraced me again “I don’t want you to catch a cold!”
We went back into the bedroom, but we let them sleep and I took Dave’s hand and made him sit onto the living room’s couch. I put ‘The Singles 86-98’ into the DVD-player and pressed play by ‘Useless’. I turned the lights off and whispered into his ear as I nuzzled to him:
“I fell in love with you during this video, my love…”
April 2007 – January 2008