Damn, why doesn’t she answer her phone? He tries for the forth time now – always getting the darn voicebox!
He decides to unpack and feed the laundry machine. Passing Rosie’s door the relief he was feeling after the consultatiton evaporated like thin air. Oh, little twinkling star – I miss you to bits!
He gets out off the cab, pays the driver and walks slowly to the entrance of her appartment block. It’s already past dusk and most windows illuminated in different shades of colours. He tries her bell. No response via the intercom. After several fruitless attempts he simply hits a few other buttons.
„Yeah?“, a male voice asks.
He gets buzzed in. Phew! The elevator seemed to have waited just for him. It doesn’t take long to get up to her floor. He rings at her door again, listening carefully if he could detect any sound inside. Nothing. He’s becoming nervous now. Didn’t she sound a bit too calm when he was talking to her last time? Perhaps he should call the police? David! Stop making a fool of yourself again!
He sits down on the top step of the staircase and puts out his cigarillos. Looking for smoke detectors he lits one, puffing the smoke into the air. The lights in the hallway fade out – the emergency exits signs being the only light sources now, except the glowing tip of his cigarillo. What to do? Where’s she?
His question gets answered when the lights in the hallway suddenly flash on again and he hears footsteps echoing. He must have missed the sound of the lift.
„Geez, David! What are you doing here?“
„Enjoying the nice scenery – though it’s starting to get boring.“
He gets up from the stairs, smoothing his jacket.
„I tried to get you on the phone several times. I was starting to get worried, you know.“
„Oh, sorry! I must have forgotten my mobile at home, being in a hurry this morning.“
She opens her door and he follows her in.
„No, please – not the wall again!“, she just can manage to beg when she feels his arms roughly closing around her. The next moment she feels him sobbing against her shoulder. Gently she’s dragging him with her into the living room, getting down onto the couch.
„It’s allright, David. Tell me.“
She moves slightly, fetching a cosy plaid. He cuddles into her arms and she moves it over the two of them – like a shield.
„You were right. It’s a psycho thing.“
„Psychosomatic you mean.“
He gives her a recap of his conversation with Gerard. She nods every now and then, caressing his face and hair.
Then – for a while – they just listen to the sound of the little water cascade that’s residing in a middle sized, green glass bowl on the table. He already admired it the first time he was at hers. A huge rough clear crystal block – surrounded by polished fluorite stones. On top a little amethyst pyramid is spinning around on a thin water surface, created by the continuously flowing water. Additionly it’s illuminated from the inside. Only this time he recognizes there’s a tiny angel resting against the huge stone – fragile, translucent – flurospar aswell.
„I feel so guilty, Ciara.“
He faces her straight again.
„It’s always me we’re talking about. How about you, angel? What’s up with your troubled soul?“
„I’m used to it. Meaning helping others to get their lives straight again – having no time left for my own problems to worry about – remaining empty handed, empty hearted...“ Her voice trails off and a bitter expression appears on her beautiful face.
„Too much used to walking wounded. Like Bono says – I’m happy to be unhappy.“
„Bullshit! I mean you can’t be happy about it.“
„Yeah, you’re right. You and your ‚you only suffer as long as you want to’.“
„It’s still true though – yet I recently started to forget about it aswell.“
He turns her face to his and kisses her gently, lingering on her lips, waiting for her to let his begging tongue in – tasting her sweet wetness, entangling her tongue.
She stops him after a moment of pleasure.
„David, do you really want this with me? Isn’t it just that you’d prefer to hold ‚her’ in your arms instead? As that’s what you really want and need – your family back.“
He cups her face in his hands – his eyes deep and sad like those of a little boy who just lost his pet dog or cat.
„Angel – my family is my family – you are Ciara. Don’t try to hurt yourself again. I’m afraid I will sooner or later – so don’t you start it. Not for me – or any other person – again.“
His slender fingers trace down her cheeks, chin and neck.
„Now give yourself to me – as you will get all of me aswell. I’m here! My mind and body is just with you for this night.“
„It’s just that I’m so weak at the moment. I can’t handle any more sorrow.“
„I know. Why do you think I was sitting there in front of your door? Cause I really meant what I said being worried. I saw you lying there on the bathroom floor...I know what pain can do when it becomes unbearable.“
He stares at his left wrist.
„Promise me – don’t go down that road. And no, don’t cry now – I’m here.“
Then they start taking their clothes off. Not in a hurry. Their hands wandering over each others bodies, exploring as if it was the first time. When they can’t stand it any longer and he impales her literally it’s like if they would know it’s the last time.
„Come for me, angel! I need to feel you squeezing me till I faint!“ He frantically moves in her, biting her lips with every thrust. She bucks against him, yelling out his name – nearly desperate in her lust.
„Oh god, Ciara!“
With forceful contractions she drags him into his powerful climax and he releases into her all he has to give – falling breathless and heavily panting onto her body.
When the morning dawns they still lay there on the couch, entwined - his head resting in the bend of her neck, her face snuggled in his hair.