She glimpses out off the window. The park behind the clinic looks just as every friggin day she’s here now – nearly endless four weeks. The luggage rests packed on her bed. Been in hell and on the way back. Ready for reality again? She’s not really sure. Feeling better, yes – immensely! The sadness deep inside her is bearable now at least. Surprisingly she’s not on heavy medication as she feared. Had a long discussion about it with the main therapist.
„I need all my senses! Don’t send me to sleep kinda as it’s all these emotions that keep me alive.“
„But you kinda overdose them – it’s not healthy to be on emotional overload all the time. And I make it very clear – you’re on the verge to BPD!“
In the end he agreed and they tried with behavioural therapy. Progressive muscle relaxation made her day. She should have tried earlier! Yoga and meditation aswell. Learning to respect and treat herself accordingly. A tough lesson indeed. Her thoughts drift over to David. He must have had his fair share concerning that aswell. She still can’t thank him enough for forcing her kinda to face herself. All this time not a single word from him. Only two times Jonathan visited her and encouraged her - not saying much about the progress David was making concerning his relationship. No letter he was carrying, nothing. Well, the therapy concept was as such that input from the outside was minimized – and as he was part of her pains – all access was automatically blocked. And David was wise enough not to interfere though John once mentioned it was hard for him and he was missing her a lot.
„Miss, the car is waiting for you.“ Nurse Alice lurks into the room.
„Thanks. So this is good-bye then.“
„Yes – and I don’t want to see you around again if possible!“
She twinkles at her and takes her suitcase.
„John, I didn’t expect you to get me! I called for a public transport.“
He gets out off his car and smiles.
„I already told them to inform me when you’d be on the leave.“
He opens the boot and takes my baggage.
„You look much better, Ciara, serious!“
Before I can get into the dark blue vehicle he quickly hugs me.
„Hey, what was that for?“
„I’m glad to see you in good shape again.“
He’s not really talkative during the 2 hours ride again. Billy Holliday is yearning from the car CD.
„So, how’s David? You keep it like an oyster, John. I’m back to my sanity most of – so please tell me.“
„I promissed not to talk about it, Ciara, sorry. But you will soon see and hear youself.“
„You speak in riddles.“
He turns his head and faces her, softly smiling again.
„Relax, everything at it’s suitable time.“
He laughs out loud now and reaches for another cigarillo.
When she enters her appartment she feels the urge to open all windows. This place needs fresh air! And for sure fresh vibes aswell! The plants are all still alive. Jonathan already told her he had a look every now and then. She definitely starts to like him. Yes, he must be for sure a real friend to David.
Finally opening the door to her bedroom she winces back in complete bewilderment. There, on her bed, lies David – like the creator made him - a trail of chocolate pieces on his body. He smirks at her and before she can say anything he points down onto the floor.
„You have to eat your way up to me.“
Indeed – starting at the threshold every now and then there’s a little chocolate bar waiting for her.
„Don’t tell me you’re not hungry, angel. And hurry up – I’m cold!“
She lets her bag sink next to her onto the ground and crawls over the carpet, munching the chocolate one by one. It’s delicious dark belgian one – he’s so evil! Getting up to him he stops her and asks her to undress first. She quickly obliges.
„Ah, do it slowly, baby! I haven’t seen you for so long. Tease me, please!“
„Did I ever tell you that you’re the devil in disguise?“
„No, but makes sense. I’ve been in hell already.“ He looks at her with his deep shiny green eyes again.
„You should know that place well, too. But now we are both back for good – so come to me and sin with me!“