„You two have no idea what you’re doing to me!“ I sigh deeply.
„Oh, we do know!“
Dave’s cock is hardening again inside me and he puffs hotly against my neck.
„Better play it safe and have a refill?“
His voice is low, dark and dangerous – just to tease me and get me started again. Andy gets up from the bed.
„Don’t worry – I just go for a smoke. You go ahead and suck his energies off.“
When the door closes and we hear his footsteps disappearing down the corridor David suddenly starts to sob silently and pulls me into a tight embrace. Slowly he begins thrusting in and out of me again, showering my face with teary kisses – nesting his head finally in the crook of my neck. His movements are like in a flow, fluid, soft – yet strong and determined. Oh well, he knows what he’s doing – trying to achieve – and he seems to want it with every fibre of his heart and soul – against all odds. And I welcome him – I am a slave to my desire and his gorgeous body – but also his beautiful soul. Two universes collide – yes! The supernova just erupts within my core – white heat lets me shake and shiver – climaxing like never before! When he gave me all he was capable his tension slowly gets less. We’re both in sweat now and rest against each other, trying to gain our breath back. My legs still cling around his waist and we stay connected for some more minutes.
„You know – I’m not the one to really share, Siv!“
He kisses the rings at my finger and then puts my hand back onto his right shoulder. I already know the truth – I knew it from the start when we first touched this topic.
„It’s not fair, Dave – you are not really honest. Andy deserves better – from both of us.“
„But as usual life is not as such – fair.“
„You two moved as close as possible I know – and I never expected that. If I were in Andy’s position I already had scratched your eyes out – or worse.“
A tiny smile crosses his face.
„I better don’t tell you about my impressions...sometimes I really wonder about myself – allowing him to touch my woman.“
„Hey, did anybody tell you so far that you’re way possessive?!“ I pinch his butt.
„At least it’s my genes mingling with yours – hopefully.“
The door opens again and Andy appears with a tray stuffed with steaming mugs and buttered toast.
„I thought you might want to replenish some ressources – and it’s near 6 am.“
„Awww, ginger-lemon marmelade! You are my star!“
We place all the delicious foodbetween us on the mattress and enjoy Andrew’s little treats. The tea is just right now. I cuddle into his arms and let him feed me. A bit of jam drips off the still warm toast, onto my right breast. Before I can complain Dave licks the sweet traces off.
„Oh god, don’t get me worked up again! I’m exhausted and tired!“
An evil smirk is the answer. He balances his honey toast dangerously in his hand.
„I dare you!“
„Dave, stop playing with the food – eat it!“
„I could need a nice bath before finally getting some sleep.“
„As the lady wishes – I’m at your command! That would have been my suggestion anyway!“
Andy kisses me quickly onto my sweet, sticky lips and heads for the bathroom.
„Is that a good idea – now I mean?“
Dave musters me questionly. I sigh – he might have a point there.
„Andy, stop it! I’m going to have a shower – with the two of you!“
„What are you thinking?“
David searches for my view, adjusting his arm around my waist. The light in the bedroom is still dimmed by the venetian blinds – it should be early afternoon though meanwhile. I woke up a few minutes ago, realizing that I’m still in bed – but just Dave at my side.
„Where’s Andy gone again?“
„Shovelling snow perhaps.“
„Yes, it must have been kinda blizzard this night. It’s still coming down.“
I free myself from his arms and jump out off bed, opening the blinds quickly. Dave was right – everything is white outside – covered with a reasonable coat of snow – and the flakes are dancing down from a slate gray sky.
„We will have another day together as it looks like. My flight back to New York is cancelled.“
He joins me at the window, slipping a blanket over my naked shoulders and closing his strong arms around me.
„When I was a kid we used to look up into the sky, fixing on the falling snowflakes. After a while you get the feeling that you are moving up – straight into the heavens. Do you know that feeling as well, Dave?“
„Yes. It’s like being with you.“ His voice is dark and smooth. „You lift me up – you are my heaven.“
„Oh, please don’t! I’m going to cry again.“
He turns me around to him and I see his eyes being glassy as well.
„It’s like it is, angel. Let’s make the best of it.“
„I look into your eyes and you’re miles away.“
Andy goes for the kettle and pours some steaming water over his tea leaves. Then he comes back and instead of taking his stool again he places himself onto the windowsill – straight into my unfocused view.
„Sorry, was daydreaming – and all these snow flakes keep me mesmerized.“ I face him now and smile.
„It’s not that long till Christmas. I have some important decisions to make, you know.“
He nods slowly and then joins me at the old wooden table again, reaching for my hands.
„I talked to Mal, my boss at ‚SCREAM’. My sabbatical time nearly is over and he can’t keep my job forever. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to show up in the agency and check some things personally. Plus I haven’t met some of my very good friends in Hamburg for a long while now. You see, it’s the time of year – all family gathering, friends, partners. Not that I’m too eager to visit my parents – but there’s my sister for instance.“
„Is that all?“
I roll my eyes. Apparently not – and he for sure knows it!
„We haven’t talked properly since Mart and Dave returned home. For a week you seem to slip back into your shell again. You’re rarely there, returning late at night, avoiding me in bed – I’m not sure about anything – seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. Where do I stand, what’s my future? Concerning work, concerning you and my life. Where’s the place I can call home?“
It takes all my energies to keep my composure not to open the floodgates again. Nervously I start to twist the ring around my finger, the diamond and the ruby glistening one after the other.
Andy gets up from his seat and opens his arms.
„Come here, Siv.“
I cock my brows and then slowly leave my chair, walking towards him. Before I can say anything else he pulls me tight into a strong embrace.
„It’s not easy for me as well, angel. I miss Grainne especially during the season. She used to decorate the place, was baking cookies and stuff – all the business and feelings you seem to miss, too at the moment – being close to people you live with, you know and care for.“
He searches for my eyes again.
„And I know you imagine how Dave plays with Rosie now – and that you’d love to be with them, buying Christmas prezzies. That Jen is singing greek Christmas Carols while swinging through their home, and so on.“
He caresses my face gently.
„I also know you love me, though you’re torn between him and me. Looks I didn’t make it clear enough: Siv, this is your home if you want to. Stay for Christmas - Megan and Joe for sure want more of you. Let us try to forget about the pain each of us carries. Start the New Year with me and don’t spend any more fooking thoughts about your income and stuff like that! I know you’d like to stay independent – I’ll give you just more opportunities for it.“
Now he winks at me and pecks my lips.
„I didn’tplan to let it slip so early, but me being so invisible the last time had a reason. I was checking for a loft for you – with Anton. We were successful – it’s not far from his studio, so you two could always meet and mess up things.“
My jaw drops to the floor.
„You did WHAT?!“
„I bought you a loft for your own little studio.“
I feel the ground shaking under my feet now and some sort of dizziness creeping behind my forehead. Good luck Andrew’s strong arms are holding me as I collapse and faint.
Something cold and wet in my face. It takes a bit of effort to open my eyes and then I manage to blink and see Andy’s pale face over me, holding a small, black towel.
„Sorry, I didn’t want to knock you that much out off your boots, baby!“
I try to gather my thoughts and then all pops back into my conscience. I have a loft for a studio!
„Yes, now you have reason to sob again – but I hope it’s because of joy this time!“
„Gosh, Andy! You’re mad!“
„Yes, mad for you – do you get it now?“
I pull him down to me onto the bed – where he must have carried me to.
„You know – I’m not the one to marry again that soon – but is this safe enough for you to risk to stay with me for a while – or even longer?“
I drag him into a deep kiss, cutting off his words – giving him the answer he so desperately seemed to have waited for as well.
„You guys and your bleeding secrecies!“
„So you’re happy now?“
„Yes, though it wasn’t necessary.“
„Ah, come on! I know you a little meanwhile. And don’t be too cheery – there’s lots of work to be done. I thought you wanted to refurbish everything after your needs – that includes cleaning, painting, decorating...the place looks a little vandalized. Well, the price hence was reasonable.“
He’s a smug grin on his face now.
„Woah, now I want to look what kinda horrible abode you got for me! Should have known!“
He bursts into laughter.
„It’s great – just a bit messy. Anton checked it out and in his opinion it’s a little gem that needs just a bit of polish. I already talked with some firms concerning the floor, walls and electricity – but you have to deal with the interiour design – and I know you’re burning to do so.“
„Umh, sounds like fun. Decorating party with you guys – Mart not wearing one of his precious, knitted caps but some folded Times on his curls. You having the ‚Guardian’ on your head as I know you despise it and Dave will get the paste brush – as he’s the specialist for sticky things!“
„Holy shit! What did I get myself into!“
Andy holds his stomach, laughing his ass off. Then he finally stops and musters me again as I started sniffing.
„Hey, angel! Cheer up – no more tears now! If you want, we could go there tomorrow. The plumbers already change the rotten pipes and stuff – and you for sure want a proper restroom there.“
I can’t help it to blush.
„Yeah, I heard some stories from Anton – some obvious noises after a certain Bowie shooting – moans and growls – thuds against the wall.“
„He will pay for that indiscretion!“
„Ha ha ha – baby, you know we’re even meanwhile – though I’m still more than sorry about it.“
„Umh, wasn’t that a dressing room?“
„Oops, you’re right.“
„Well, sounds like you intend to try the new bathroom over there when it’s ready. I will mark you first on my card then.“
I can’t go on mocking on him as he closes my mouth with his passionate lips. His hands wander under my sweat-shirt and his body slips closer to mine.
„Baby, I want you! I always wanted you from the beginning – the first time I set my eyes on you!“
For a last time I stare into his incredibly blue eyes again – then I let myself fall into his desire and love. Finally it starts to feel like coming home.
Mart holds my view with his vivid green eyes. A few of his blond curls slip over his face and he smoothes them back every now and then.
„You still miss him badly, don’t you?“
I swallow my portion of tea I just sipped. No need to pretend anything else. He can read me like a book – as usual. A warm smile crosses his cheeks and his hand reaches over and brushes gently over my face on the screen. I wish I could feel his touch for real and send him an air kiss with my index finger.
„Mart, I know I’m a mess! I should be happy with Andy – but there still is a miss – and I can’t lay my hands on it.“
„Well, apparently lots of your heart still belongs to David – so there’s not enough space for Andy.“
„No, I don’t think that’s the reason – the main one.“
„Where’s he by the way?“
„Off with his Chelsea pals. I was too tired after spending all day in the loft.“
„Have you snapped some piccies of it already? I’m burning to see the place!“
I have to snicker.
„Well, it’s still more of a construction site and I have doubts it will ever turn out like a place to actually work in.“
I snip some dust flakes away from the desk that try to hide under the monitor.
„I’m glad though the guys Andy hired seem to do a hell of a job fixing the walls, painting and decorating. There also will be a cool bathroom with whirlpool! Well, at least my imagination has to kick in – they just started with the tiles.“
Martin’s broad smirk reaches from one ear to the other.
„Argh, you are naughty again!“
„I’m looking forward testing it!“
„Then you have to queue up with Andy for now.“
„Sure we don’t fit in all at the same time? I know you – it’s not going to be a small nutshell.“
Then he turns a little more serious again.
„How about your plans visiting your sister in Hamburg?“
„I’m going this weekend – last chance as I promised Andy to stay with him on Christmas.“
„Already have a flight?“
I raise my brows and he bursts out into his infectious laughter.
„I want to see you – plus I have a DJ set at a club opening. My old mate Christoph expands.“
„Cool!“ I jump up and down on my chair. „Some crazy last minute Christmas shopping with you!“
„I was hoping you’d say that!“
„Argh, should know me better! Are you with your kids during the holidays?“
„Already planned a little surprise trip for them – but I won’t tell! I saw Calo recently chatting on Skype with you – I bet you two plotted something as well! He was keen to get Viva afterwards.“
I wink at him and put on one of my ‚I-bet-you’d-wish-to-know-but-I’m-not-telling-either’-faces.
„Martin, I’ll be at Fuhlsbüttel Airport around 7.30 pm on Friday. It’s the BA flight from LCY.“
„Great, I’ll wait for you then as I’m there just an hour earlier.“
He registers my recurring yawn and grins again.
„I see – no chance for some kinky web cam business tonight. Better let you go then, baby. Have a nice sleep – and kick Andy’s bum from me if he starts snoring!“
„Ha ha, I will! I’m glad you’re there for me – cheering me up. Thank you, sweetie!“
„You’re more than welcome, you know that, angel! So here’s my last kiss for now – where ever you need it most! Byeeee!“
As it’s way after 11 pm I trot to the bedroom and then enter the en suite bathroom to let in some hot water. My whole body feels tensed and tired – time to finally relax. Pouring in some scented oil the smell of lavender lets my thoughts wander astray again – and some crawlies make it down my back. Oh Dave, why has life to be so bleeding complicated?! At least he kept to his promise not to call me for a while. He should be busy with his family anyway – so close to the festive season. My eyes search for the lean herbal theme calendar that sticks to the side of one of the racks where the towels are propped into. December, 17th already! Flipping back to November I suddenly freeze for a second. Whether my monthly was delayed due to the hormonal change or not – it’s way over time now – nearly two weeks! No, no, no! The doctor told me this would happen – no false assumptions now! Maybe I should get me a test in the pharmacy tomorrow? Just to silence the thoughts in my weary head... .
My hands slowly glide down over my tummy and rest on that spot below the navel. What if?
I feel a touch on my naked shoulder and it takes a little to open my eyes.
„Hey, did you doze off in the bath tub?“
Andy’s blue eyes behind his black Prada glasses. Now I realize the uncomfortably cold water around me.
„Gosh, how late is it?!“
„A little after 1 am.“ He musters me and then plants a kiss onto my lips. „You’re all chilly – let’s refill the tub and I’ll join you.“
I loose the plug and he bends over to let in some hot water. My left hand wanders under his black t-shirt. With a low growl he closes his eyes. Then everything happens very fast. His clothes land on the tyled floor and fluffy mats. Then he glides behind me into the now steamy hot water, wrapping his long arms around me. I sigh and lean back against his broad chest.
„Don’t zonk out again, baby!“
I let out a little giggle.
„I’ll try my very best.“
Sensing his hard on against my back I already know I won’t have a chance. So I give in to his more and more greedy kisses and touches. His fingers cling into my hips and then his large member makes it’s way into my slippery channel. For a short moment I feel an unusual pain, but as it subsides quickly I concentrate on his thrusts again. Moving up with his hands he squeezes my nipples, sending additional electric jolts through my system.
„Oh god, you feel so good, sweetheart!“ His breath already is erratic.
It’s the first time he calls you ‚sweetheart’!
I know it’s not going to be a big climax for me – I’m way too tired – but my walls starts tightening around him and with the next two hectic thrusts he releases his hot cum into me.
After some moments coming down from the peak, cuddling close to each other still, he seems to watch the calendar.
„November? I thought you already changed...wait a second! You counted back the days!“
„Andy, relax – there’s nothing odd or notable to worry about.“
He turns me a bit around to face me.
„Siv – I’m no retard! You’re waiting for your bleeds and they didn’t come in time, right?“
„Yes, but that’s what the gynaecologists already predicted after getting off the contraception, remember?“
„Under other circumstances I wouldn’t spend any thought on it – but...hell, did it work?“
„I don’t know – look, I’m going to get a test tomorrow, happy now?“
„Sorry, I didn’t want to be intrusive – it’s just I would be relieved, you know?“
I kiss his nose and then his mouth – lingering on his lips for a moment.
„It’s just that I want to keep it low profile – if it’s just false alarm. And you can’t be sure about anything the first trimester. Let’s wait and see, OK?“
Needless to say I spent a sleepless night – and Andrew wasn’t better – though he pretended to sleep. Every half an hour he turned around next to me till I finally switched on the lamp at the bedside table, going nutz!
Andy knocks at the bathroom door.
„Hey, how long will you stay in there?“
I sit on the edge of the tub, staring at the little white test tube. The time’s already through at least five times. There’s a second blue line – faint, nearly visible – yet it’s there. Well, it’s pretty early and the ßHCG is still very low in my urine. I can’t be even sure if it’s already nested in me, but hell, yes – looks I’m pregnant! Realizing I can’t let poor Andy wait any longer I cautiously grab the test and go for the door. He nearly falls against me when I open it.
„It’s not much – but look yourself.“
He stares at the little frame with the two blue lines. The colour is fading away from his face.
„Does this mean...?“
„It might be false positive. I need to see the doctor for a blood test to be certain.“
A little tear rolls over his right cheek, and then two more.
„Hey, Andy – darling!“
His embrace is so tight I nearly faint, not being able to breathe for a moment. I can feel his heart beating against my chest.
„You make me the happiest person on this planet at the moment, Siv! Oh my sweet Jesus!“
„Shush, let’s get an appointment at the gyn first – it’s not absolutely certain!“
He loosens his grip and kisses me passionately.
„I’m so bloody sure it’s what it is! Come, I’ll call Dr. Ashcroft – he will do a check-up immediately!“
„Geez, isn’t that the specialist from University hospital?!“
„Only the best for you, angel! Good luck I know him for a while – he’s a big DM fan!“
Roaring laughter. Then he fetches his mobile – searching for the number.
„Miss McPherson? May I be the first to congratulate you? The results are definitely positive. There’s no doubt you’re going to face the joys of motherhood!“
The short, grey haired man in green clinic clothing offers me his hand. Then he sits down next to me on the couch.
„Shall we call in the proud father then?“
Oh, boy! Andy must have died a millon deaths out there in the meantime!
„I hope he’s still well. He’s very emotional concerning this matter.“
Dr. Ashcroft grins at me.
„Like all soon to be fathers – appears he’s no exception.“
Then he looks into his anamnesis papers again.
„Though I see you must have had a donor, right? A collegue and friend of mine did the tiny operation those days – I nearly forgot about that.“
I blush slightly and then nod.
„No need to feel ashamed – it’s not uncommon these days. We just had to extend our own sperm bank.“
Well,if you’d know the way and circumstances you’d alter your statement.
„Is there a record from the donor? You should have received one when you had it done.“
„Errr, it was received naturally.“
„Oh, sorry – now I get it. Wouldn’t be a bad idea though to get some infos, if possible – monitoring possible risks.“
„Hmh, I’ll try to get the necessary details. Do you have the forms to fill out? I could fax them over.“
Andy nearly suffocates me again when Dr. Ashcroft confirms the good news. My mind is already busy with David. I don’t want to tell him so early – and for sure not around Christmas! On the other hand – he’s the one who should have been the first to know. Oh my, I opened Pandora’s box and now I’ll have to deal with it! And as if Andrew got a glimpse into my head he asks me on the way to the lift.
„When do we call Dave?“
I swallow and hold his hand more firmly.
„As much as I want to blurt it out to the world and especially him – he’s so damn emotional – I certainly don’t want to mess up things with his family on Christmas. And you heard Dr. Ashcroft – it’s still risky. I’m in my fourties – don’t you forget it. I don’t want to send Dave through this hell...if things shouldn’t turn out well.“
„He has the same right to know as me, baby.“
„Sure, but what would a few more days make of a difference – let’s wait till the New Year. Let’s keep it a secret between the two of us now – I won’t even tell my sister or Mart.“
Now he chuckles and ushers me into the elevator cabin, pushing the down button.
„For sure not Martin – then we could tell it to the SUN anyway!“
„Argh, he’s not that bad – and he always kept the more private secrets. I trust him with my life, you know!“
He kisses me softly.
„I know – and he’s still my best friend. Well, so let’s keep it below the radar. But I’m allowed to be fucking, incredibly, absolutely, enormously, out off this world happy, right?“
„Yes, you are – and same goes for me. Good god, it’ll need the next days anyway to let it sink in. I still can’t believe it!“