I add an imaginary note on my New Years resolution list: Find an appropriate woman for Curly!
It’s really a pain to see how he staggers from one fling to the other after the divorce. Not that I think he’ll be faithful anyway – with whom ever he might be – yet he needs a stable relationship as much as myself. Difficult task though – as the female in question has to have a lot of qualities. One for sure will have to be tolerance concerning his gay tendencies. And I really better do not think about all the other challenges concerning him.
Andy stands in the closet, still in the process of deciding which shirt he should wear with which pair of trousers. Men! I let my hand slap onto his tight black boxers making him jump.
„You!! I do not need a real heart attack that close to the year’s end!“
I grin at him and let my dress robe fall onto the floor.
„Before you get a serious medical condition you better fuck me.“
He musters me shortly and then returns to his shirts.
„Now I’m not in the mood, angel. Better tell me, what friggin clothes I should go in tonight.“
„Why don’t you go all in black?“
I slowly grab the garment from the carpet and leave silently for the bathroom. What did I expect? He’s got the same rights as me. It just looks like a silly reaction of a sulky teenager. With a sigh I start to apply some conditioner into my damp hair and reach for the blowdryer. Grimmacing in the mirror I already know that I’m not really keen on going to that bloody party.
„Ready?“ I throw a glance into the lounge seeing Andrew flick through some sports channels on TV.
„Ready if you are.“
Umh, now would be the last chance to tell him – but I swallow my words and my pain. Don’t want to be a spoil sport. He’s been so nice and generous to me. I just can’t disappoint him – or more concretely – I don’t want to.
The air outside is clear and freezy. Every now and then you can hear the first firecrackers and howlers. I close the collar of my long black coat tighter around my neck, adjust the scarf and slip into the car next to Andy. The limousine starts moving. Deep in thoughts I continue twisting the ring around my finger – till I finally feel Andy’s hand covering mine, stopping my nervous action. His dark, blue eyes generate a ruckus in my stomach.
„Why so nervous, sweatheart?“ He softly places a kiss onto my temple. „The fireworks will look amazing from that river boat.“
I’m pretty sure they will – I’m more concerned about the masses of people – and honestly partying is not really something that could lift my mood at the moment.
Eventhough we stop at the VIP entrance the path along the Embankment is packed with visitors. The security guys definitely have a busy job. The transfer onto the vessel is a bit rough. Setting my boots onto the wooden planks I suddenly see two familiar faces in the crowd – Joanne and Jack. As if that wasn’t enough my mobile buzzes now. Martin!
„Andy, sorry – I need some space and quietness!“
With these words I try to make my way back to the limo that I still see being stuck at it’s position near the kerb – mobile pressed against my ear.
„Hi, Curly! Sorry for all the noise! I’m just entering the car again. Too may people around!“
„Geez, baby! Already on the run again? Where’s Andy?“
„Already on the boat with Jo and Jack...I suppose.“
„Oh my, they are there as well?“
„Exactly my thoughts.“ My sigh comes straight from the heart.
„Siv – doesn’t help much, but you can’t run forever.“
„Yeah, you’re right – and it’s a shame that Andrew has to take all this again and again.“
„What would be the best for you now? What would you do if you needn’t care for anybody else?“
„Cuddling into a plaid on the couch, sipping a hot tea and staring into the flames of the fireplace – feeling sorry for myself.“
„What an option, angel! Come on – go back! Life’s more to offer!“
I hear a loud ‚clonk’ and hold the phone a little away.
„What the hell was that?!“
„That was one of my boots, baby! Feel it sticking in your gorgeous ass?“
„Damn!“ My eyes start stinging for another time this day.
„Yeah, damn I can’t be there with you – squeezing you, holding you – till you feel better. Hey, chin up – try to enjoy your time with Andy there. The new year only can get better!“
„Thanx, Curly. I miss you a lot, too.“
„We will meet again soon, I promise, angel! Now off with you!“
Andy still stands with Joanne and Jack at the same spot – having obviously checked if the limo would leave or not. An early pyrocracker dazzles through the air – leaving a glistening trail of golden and green sparkles. The sulfuric smell tickles my nostrils and some childhood memories flick through my mind.
I finally reach the familiar group of people making my way through all the guests crammingthe entrance to the Thames boat. This moment Andrew turns his head to some guy I don’t know, pats him onto the broad shoulder and they start an animated conversation.
Another little stitch – maybe I’m just too thin skinned at the moment. Jo blinks at me and she hugsand kisses me left and right. „Men!“
I can’t help to smile now. She’s definitely good in reading expressions – and I can’t hide my feelings. Jack approaches me as well. He holds me a little longer than necessary, whispering into my ear.
„Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve – make a wish!“ He starts nibbling at my earlobe.
„I want to go home.“
He locks his eyes with mine – his breath billowing up into the icy air. There’s a seriousness in them like in Dave’s sometimes.
„You’re not in the mood to party – I understand.“
Gently he caresses my right cheek with his gloved fingers. The smooth dark leather feels soft against my skin.
„Then you better tell Andy now – getting that load off your chest.“ He shakes his head. „He should have recognized himself.“
Joanne cuts in now. „Apparently you two still don’t really talk with each other, is that so?“
Instead of an answer I turn around and check for Andrew. He’s still chatting with his pal. I walk over and call him by his name, patting lightly onto his shoulder. Andy shortly turns his head hearing my voice yet not really getting my message – as he keeps on chatting with his mates.
Shall I simply leave? Pouting like a little school girl? That would be not fair and kinda silly – yet the feeling of being neclected and not taken serious is still strong and starting to take over.
I decide to edge my way through the mob and end up at the rear end of the boat where it’s less crowded. Leaning over the railing I watch all the different glimmering light dots on the water and around till the horizon. I can make out the tall buildings around Canary Wharf way behind illuminated Tower Bridge. Trying to block out all the noises and murmour around me, I cover my ears and close my eyes for a moment – breathing deeply in.
A hand patting my back suddenly lets me jump.
„Hey, why are you crying?“
Jack gingerly wipes away a single tear out off the corner of my mouth. I haven’t realized letting it slip. Before I can answer he closes his arms around me and seals my lips with his in a passionate kiss. It’s a bit odd with all the thick coats and jackets around. His fluffy shawl tickles my nose and I have to sneeze. We both start to giggle.
„Xmas prezzie from mom – she still thinks I’m a teen – needing to be kept warm.“
„She’s just being nice. I still get knitted socks and kitchen towels every year.“
„Mums!“ „You telling me!“
He pecks my lips, his eyes starting to show some familiar signs of arousal.
„Jack, no way!“
„Shush!“ His long fingers open button by button of my long, black woolen coat. The freezy air hits my neck and chest – though I wear a thin lambswool sweater. He seems to read my face as he places his hot lips onto the bare skin of my neck.
„I’ll keep you warm, don’t you worry!“
He swiftly gets rid off his gloves and then I sense his warm hand making it’s way under my shirt, wandering lower to the waistband of my trousers.
„Jack, it’s not right! We can’t do that here anyways!“
A sly grin and then another smothering kiss.
„Don’t you like the thrill – getting caught?“
He drags me closer, ripping his jacket open – and then I can feel his excitement very prominently.
„I thought I made it quite clear it’s not an option – the two of us.“ I push him away a bit.
„It’s your father I’m in love with – not you. I don’t want you to feel sorry – nor do I want to use you.“
„You can use me, baby! Please, I want you!“ His hoarse voice vibrates against my throat.
„Everything alright, Siv?“
This moment it’s quite a relief hearing Andy’s sonorous voice. I quickly adjust my coat before turning towards him.
„I had to give Jack a little comfort. He still is not over Val as it looks.“
Jack’s complexion is slightly pink – and his breath is accelerated.
„Baby, why don’t you tell him the truth? That I wanted to have another go at you. That I simply can’t forget the taste and feel of your skin last time we made love – together with Dad.“
I freeze in shock. We all stay speechless for a glimpse – yet it’s me who finds the next words.
„Thank you, Jack Gahan. Andrew didn’t know about all this – till now. Thanks heaps for letting this horrible year end for me even more akwardly.“
Jack drops his jaw a little and then closes his mouth again. Before he can slip a reply Andy cleans his throat.
„You better scurry of to Joanne now. I need a few words with this lady here.“
His voice sounds neutral, emotionless. I can’t help my hands and knees from trembling. Avoiding his eyes I keep staring down onto the planks – awaiting the storm to break loose.
„Siv, please look at me.“
When I don’t follow his request a hand reaches under my chin and forces me softly to look up. There’s no sign of anger in his deep, blue eyes – just sadness and kindness.
„I overheard most of your conversation. You didn’t want to give in – that was pretty obvious.“ He fetches for his cigarettes. „Angel, you are wrong with your assumption. I did know all the time. For once David told me during one of our intense conversations – that you were feeling still akward about it and perhaps never would start about it and I should have an eye on it as it’s another load on your chest – being afraid hurting me again.“
He puts the packet back into his coat, not having taken out a single ciggie.
„Yes, hearing it that moment it hurt – but hearing you whimper in your sleep was hell.“ He comes nearer quickly now and pulls me into a tight embrace.
„I’m really the one to blame tonight. Martin caught me on the mobile earlier- shortly, after you returned from your talk in the limo. He told me about your mood and fear to go back because of Jack. I sort of ignored you to see what you would do – and Bingo – you sorta ran and he followed your heels.“
„That’s not fair, Andrew – but I understand you’re disappointed and angry.“
He searches my view again.
„Angel, I’m not angry. And I’m just disappointed that you don’t trust me enough to tell me straight into my face if you don’t feel OK with anything – and no, don’t give me that spoil sport thing now! I know that’s just what rests on your tongue. Hell, I’m no emotionless clod!“
„I never said that!“
„No, you let me feel it.“
„I didn’t mean to!“
I try to wriggle out of his embrace to get away.
„Baby, no more running! I’m already breathless concerning your speed and frequence. At least take me with you, would you?“
„What do you mean?“
„Christ, I’m not really keen on this party either if you are in pain – so I take it we better leave this godforsaken place!“
I’m still in awe. My eyes meet the watch at my left wrist. It’s just ten minutes till midnight. Andy follows my view.
„I think I can spend those lousy last minutes with you here, Andrew.“
„You really want a lousy time with me?“ His roaring laughter echoes back from the wooden panels.
„I better get some champagne!“
He dashes around the corner and just a tiny moment later returns with two filled glasses.
„OK, let’s try again. You want to feel miserable with me – did I get that right, baby?“
„Ah, stop it Andy! You know damn well how I mean it!“
„So – was this year really so horrible by all means?“
„Not completely – it had a very few good moments.“ I smile back at him, my lower lip starting to tremble. His expression now is so very soft and loving as he moves his face closer to mine.
„Yeah – loads of shit, chaos, horror and pain...but getting to know you...to love you... weighs out everything. Look, only two minutes now...and you are still here in my arms!“
A set of goosebumps make it down my spine as I snuggle closer against his broad chest. With the first deep bell punch of Big Ben he kisses me deeply and I give in with a content sigh – letting his tongue meet mine. Happy cheers all over the place. The sky starts expoding above our heads in all imaginable colours.
„Happy New Year, Sweatheart! I love you – I have no real words to express it!“
„Happy New Year, honey! Same goes for me – I love you – and I know I’m a toughie in being able to show it to you all the time.“
He nearly breaks all my bones with his bear hug – swirling me around with him.
‚Ole Lang Syne’ fills the air – sung by all the masses of people. Andy grins at me.
„Time to show some patriotism!“ Then we fall in singing and finish the next chorus with the crowd.
David lazily lolls and slowly opens his sleepy eyes. Just half awake his view stops at the curly blonde hair next to him on the pillow. What the...?! Shooting up from the mattress for a split second he falls back onto the sheets – evoking a low grunt from the person next to him – yet Martin stays asleep.
Jen is in Chicago – at one of her friend’s wedding!
„What a selfish prick I am again – fucking my lover in our bed.“, he mumbles under his breath.
„Don’t forget the ‚being fucked’ part as well.“
Mart now grants him a broad grin, apparently awake now. His bright green eyes change in shade and a soft, caring smile settles on his full lips.
„It’s not just about that – it’s about...“, he drags Dave’s face closer to his – mesmerizing him with his intense gaze, „...love!“
When their lips touch gently David has to close his lids for a moment. The emotions are overwhelming him again – and judging from Curly trembling against his skin – he’s not the only one. Those velvet lips start to make their way down lower, over his chin and throat. He lets his head sink back, enjoying the wet sensations, the little nibbles, the hot breath that reaches every single pore.
„Why are you giggling now?“
„Looks as if it’s not just all of your body hair that is standing straight.“ Mart twinkles and then lets his left hand travel between his muscular thighs – finding the centre of lust and desire. „Well, the ones that survived your waxing escapades.“
„Oh my god – Curly, please!“
The addressed turns his head slightly and the sparks that fizzle in his irises make Dave moan with anticipation.
„Do you deserve such a nice treat for a wake up call, my dirty beast?“
„Hey, I’ve been good!“
„That’s true – you’ve been sooo good last night!“
„You should know – the wanting never ends.“
„Yeah, that’s for sure one thing we have in common.“
When Mart’s lips close around his already painfully throbbing erection he digs his fingers into the sheets – giving in to the rush that awaits them both.
„David, what’s crossing your mind again?“
Martin snuggles into his arms and pulls up the blanket a bit more, shielding them against the fresh January morning air that wavers into the room through the meanwhile opened window. He wonders who would be the one who had to get up closing it again soon.
„Jenny is pregnant.“
Dave adjusts himself in the pillow and lets his long fingers run absentmindedly through Martin’s curls.
„You heard me.“
„Gosh – so she finally got you into the trap!“
„Chances are 50:50 it’s from her Broadway fling. Remember I told you she came up with the topic over Christmas? She already must have known she had conceived.“
„Well, she can’t be that stupid to believe that tests won’t reveal the truth?“
„As long as we’re married that doesn’t make any difference, don’t you get it? If I would file a divorce now...“ Martin interrupts him. „...she will make a big fuzz about leaving her pregnant – oh bad boy you are!“ He shakes his head stunned and in disbelief.
„Hell, now that is really some fooking shit!“ The tone in his voice is definitely angry now.
„You are not letting her get at you like this! Are you sure she’s really up the pole?“
„Umh, she’s got her first check up next Wednesday – so far I just was told she did a home test.“
„Did you see it?“
„She didn’t wave it like a trophy?!“
Again a negative reply.
„What does she expect you to do? She for sure came up with some conditions?“
„Closing the ‚chapter Siv’, as she called it. No need to get her pregnant now – she thinks.“
„She doesn’t get it, does she?“
Martin sighs and sits up against the headboard.
„It took me a while to figure it out why the frigg you wanted a baby with her. Meanwhile I know – and understand.“
He softly kisses Dave onto his forehead and then continues speaking.
„Though I still think that the emotional aspect will kick you both into the pants.“
„No pain, no gain. You know the stuff.“
„So you still...?“
Dave’s eyes turn darker and glassy.
„Oh, yeah – never was clearer about it. As weird as it might sound – now even more.“
„Isn’t your life already fooking complicated enough, mate?! Just one week of this year has passed and you push the limits as if there would be no tomorrow.“
„I should know best that life can be just a glimpse and then it’s over. Seriously – if Jen’s trying to foul the ball she should better be prepared for a nasty surprise.“
„David, darling! Don’t forget about the kids – you know how she is. Rosie does not deserve to get between the fronts, nor does Jim.“
He jumps out off the bed and dashes to the window to hastily close it, airing his disgust about the freezy air.
„Let’s stop thinking of worst case scenarios! You accompain her to the check up and then you’ll see.“
„She’s not really a bitch – she’s desperately trying to keep up our relationship.“
„Yeah, tying you morally and emotionally to her – what a fine woman! When will she tell the kids that they will have another sister or brother?!“
„Well, sooner or later she will have to let it slip. Funny enough I still feel for her – though it’s not the same like before. She’s Rosies mom after all – and I promised to take care of Jimmy. “
„That’s Jo to Jack, too! And you are better the way you are now.“
„You can’t compare those two relationships, Mart. It’s not that I really want to break free again – it’s just that I can’t lay my fingers on the real miss in the actual one.“
„OK, but you should stop with your eternal cycle of guilt. It’s not just your fault – if you want to call it like that anyways. Don’t feel responsible for everything that turns out bad. I’ve seen you and experienced you over all these years – and trust me: A selfish bastard behaves differently!“
The rumble of a stomach fills the room.
„Now that’s the right pointer – time for some real breakfast!“
Before Mart can reach the bedroom door Dave turns up behind him and pushes him roughly against the wall.
„I’ll give you the realy thing – and I’ll make it a profound experience for you!“
His hot breath against his ear lets the blonde haired man lustfully shudder. Strong arms pin him flat to the layer of textured wallpaper and greedy, long fingers explore the round shapes of his glutes. Feeling Dave’s teeth clamping around the sensitive skin of his nape he surrenders, letting out a deep groan.
„God, Dave – just ram it in! No preliminaries!“
A busy tongue makes it’s way along his neck and then David loosens one arm and his hand appears in front of Martins’s face.
„Come on, spit, Curly!“
Like in a trance he obeys, soon hearing Dave stroking himself – the sound of wet skin sending electric jolts through his system.
The pain is short but intense – immediately mingling with the enormous satisfaction to feel a long, strong member filling him completely – moving franticallyforth and back. The speed is somewhat insane. It doesn’t take long and he begs for Dave’s hand again – taking care of his meanwhile extremely hard cock.
„Oh, please make me come! I need and want you so much, Dave!“
The dark haired man pants and some sweat runs down his face and chest. Again and again he plunges into Mart, squeezing his hips with his muscular fingers – then fixing his arms again over his head with one hand, the other following the plea for release.
„Geez, Curly! You are tight like a 15 year old girl! You’re strangling my cock! Relax a bit – oh my god!“
With the next thrust Martin starts climaxing like no good – his hot fluids spurting over Dave’s slender fingers. It just needs two quick jabs and David is over the brink as well – yelling out his lust – and for sure partially his frustration.
„All set and packed?“
A questioning look from Dave when Mart shovels his little wheeled suitcase around the corner, into the hallway.
„Yep – cab should be here any minute now.“
Both men hug again cordially – remaining in the embrace a little longer than necessary.
„Hey, you need to let me go, Dave.“
„I know – I hate farewells.“
„Shall I tell Siv anything from you?“
„No, just that I send her all my love and that I will call her when I’m ready for it, OK?“
„You can be quite the tough cookie – not having talked to her since last year!“
„Shush – don’t touch it again now, please!“
The door bell chimes in. Martin grabs his stuff to head to the lift.
I let my legs lazily hang over the edge of the bath tub. Not sure what got into Andy last night – but he was gorgeous! Allowing my eyes to wander around a satisfied smile creeps over my face. This bathroom turned out bloody amazing! Yes, I’m christening the whirlpool – on my own. From time to time it’s not a bad idea to have a little peace.
The last days were packed with organizing things concerning the studio. Anton was a great help – minimizing the chaos that inevitably stepped over the threshold.
A decent cough yanks me out off my thoughts.
„Errrr, sorry – I didn’t expect you in here....well, in the bathroom, OK – but not IN the tub.“
John leans against the doorframe. „Anton sends me over. He’s still fighting with the backdrops.“
„It’s not that you haven’t seen a naked woman before, isn’t it, Mr. Kessler?“
I flash him a broad grin, realizing that the lather almost had gone and the now transparent water surface reveals more than necessary.
„Would you be so nice and hand me that black bathing sheet over there?“
A slight red tinge spreads over his cheeks and he hastily grabs the large, fluffy towel. I get up, the remains of water gushing down my body and with quick hands I fasten the fabric around me. Fixing Jonathan’s view I see some little sparkles in the corners of his eyes.
„Stop making me nervous here, Siv. I’m just a man you know.“
„Relax. What sweeps you over the ocean, by the way? The weather in California should be much more appealing these days.“
„Well, after the call New Year I thought I should spend some more time around – helping you with the DM project.“
„Aha. I have a slight suspicion that this is only half of the truth – manager and best friend of David.“
With a lobsided grin I step into my slippers and check for another towel to dry my hair a bit more.
„His royal highness haven’t spent a minute calling me since he left after christmas – which is alright as we agreed on a little time out. Can’t say I’m too happy about it though.“
I reach for the blow dryer and let myself sink onto the bath seat.
„Let me give you a hand, angel.“ John takes the hairbrush and starts the dryer. I close my eyes, lean my head a bit back and enjoy the frequent strokes, accompanied by some hot air. After a while the buzzing sound of the tool stops.
„You would make some great Paul Mitchell, you know that?“
John chuckles and puts the hair dryer back onto the cabinet. Then his face returns to a more serious expression. He moves forward and embraces me all of a sudden.
„Siv, I’m so sorry about the baby! If I could imagine someone as a happy mom than it’s you.“
He locks my view with his soft, light brown eyes, leaving his arms still around my figure.
„I haven’t seen Dave like this for a long while – so devastated and confused. He really takes it hard.“
„Well, seems to help him to stay below the radar. I haven’t talked to him since last year.“
My voice contains a little trace of hurt which doesn’t go unnoticed. Jonathan sighs and lets his view drop direction floor.
„Things are getting even more complicated now, I’m afraid. I don’t know how to tell you – honestly.“
He nervously brushes through his greyed hair.
„You better get dressed – you do not want to catch a cold, right?“
„Ah, come on – spill it!“
I knew it! When he entered the room I already had an odd feeling, kinda premonition.