„Woohoo – what are you after, Dave!“ Christian whistles through his teeth when they all meet in the lobby, waiting for the cab.
Oh shit, am I that pretty obvious?!
„You running around like a canadian lumberjack doesn’t mean I have to.“, Dave retorts and pokes his tongue out. Jonathan raises a brow and grins when Chris pretends to pout. Luckily Andy detects the car pulling up the kerb so they stop bantering and head for the vehicle.
It’s Imelda opening the door when the stooges finally arrive at Martin’s house in the mountains. David takes a deep breath, glad for not being confronted with Martin straight at the door step.
„Master Martin is busy on the phone – you go into the lounge!“ The resolute woman in her late 50ties ushers them to the huge, laid table.
„Haha, ‚Master Martin’!“ Andy chuckles and Dave can’t control his laughter either. Ben has tiny tears behind his glasses and starts humming – ‚Master & Servant’. That’s it – everybody is nearly screaming now.
„I’m glad you are in such a brilliant mood!“
Mart enters the room in white canvas pants and a mint-blue t-shirt. The clothes stand in appealing contrast to his well tanned skin. His sparkling smile and the vivid green eyes add to the appearance. For his age he’s still a beautiful sight – matured with grace.
When his eyes meet Dave’s figure he has to swallow hard. God dammit! Those jeans do not leave the tiniest bit to the imagination – and that is running wild now! Following the v-line of the shirt...Mart turns quickly around, mumbling something of having forgotten a bit – and disappears.
The others take their seats, not having noticed anything, but Dave has a smug grin on his pretty face now – having kinda idea what’s going on inside Martin.
Martin leans over the bassin in the restroom – pouring cold water into his face, swearing silently under his breath.
The dinner exceeds any expectations and two hours later everybody is stuffed and lethargic. Martin passes Dave, brushing along his shoulder with his arm – just by chance as it looks like. David nearly drops his dessert spoon and swallows the wrong way. Damn! Mart returns and pads his back now.
„You’re OK? Not so greedy – there’s enough chocolate trifle for a whole army. Imelda always is so generous.“
All Dave can muster is a lobsided grin and then he quickly takes a sip of his mineral water.
„Anyone for a little premier league?“
Andy looks up. „Oh, I nearly forgot about that – did you save yesterday’s games?“
Martin nods and they move over to the couches while the blond guy starts the entertainment centre. Dimming down the lights in the room creates kinda cinema atmosphere.
„Oh, you are so nice to me – grabbing all the good seats!“
„Then come over here, Mart – wedge yourself in!“ Chris pats between himself and David. The latter rolls his eyes shortly. Fuck! Chris, you are such a bugger!
Martin seems to be absolutely delighted and scrams himself into the tiny gap. His leg now tightly rests against Dave’s and he can feel the warm chest next to him moving slightly. Closing his eyes for a second he inhales his neighbours after shave.
Soon all men are absorbed by the action on the huge plasma tv and excited comments or howls mingle with each other. It’s when the second half just runs for about five minutes that Dave senses a hand on his right knee. He freezes, having no clue how to react now. Turning his head he observes Mart how he apparently alertly follows the match on the screen.
Maybe getting up? Moving his hand would be too obvious, wouldn’t it?
Fact is he just has been for a pee in the interception and the game is definitely thrilling. So he decides for the 2nd option and reaches over with his hand. Touching the soft skin he can’t help it and lets it rest over Martin’s fingers a little longer than necessary. It’s like an electric jolt – and he’s damn sure it’s not just him recognizing – feeling it, as Mart now faces him straight. Dave rises up from the couch and hurries for the bathroom.
Sitting on the closed toilet seat he ruffles his hair. Playing with fire, David – you know, it’s easy to set up a flame!
Brooding there for a while, trying to collect his thoughts there’s a knock at the door. Martin’s concerned voice.
„You’re alright in there, Dave?“
„No prob. Maybe the mexican food got me by the balls.“
David flushes the unused toilet and washes his hands. Drying his hands he faces himself in the mirror.
You’re evil – and a coward! You’re playing with other people’s emotions! And you’re not gay!
When he steps outside Mart is still waiting there.
„Wait, I have something for you.“
He slips behind him and opens a drawer, searching for something. Returning he offers Dave a medium sized, brown glass bottle.
„Ayurveda remedy. Really helps well with upset stomachs. All natural.“
He smiles at the dark haired man in front of him.
„You really look pale, Dave.“
Just like a reflex he lifts his hand and smoothes down Dave’s face.
When David answers his voice is a little throaty.
„You’re right, Curly – I don’t feel very well. Better head back to the hotel and get some rest. Sorry.“
Martin fixes his eyes and then he nods.
„I will call you a cab – though I have a guest room – really no inconvenience, mate.“
„No, no – the cab is fine, thanx.“
When complimenting Dave to the front door, while the taxi calls – Mart holds Dave back at his arm shortly.
„Get well soon, Dave. I’m so glad you’re around – and we all need your amazing voice, man!“ He twinkles now.
„It’s the first time in years you called me ‚Curly’ again, did you realize?“
The howling motor of the cab kinda rescues Dave – yet he can’t escape another hearty hug from Mart.
Back in his hotel room he kicks his shoes into one corner and lets himself fall onto the large bed. His mind is still buzzing – and looking at the medicine he placed onto the night stand doesn’t improve his mood. Seeing his laptop on the desk next to the window sends some more shivers down his spine. He can’t resist and gets up, grabs the computer and returns to the bed.
„Let’s see for how long Master Martin is writing...“ He has to chuckle at that name again – yet there’s another nuance to it – and that lets his cock stirr in his jeans. Control. He knows very well how to control others – he needs the feeling of being superior, being the one pulling the strings. Eventhough he knows he often is just pretending. He and mastering his life – being in control! What a bad joke! Isn’t the idea of succumbing closer to the truth? Giving somebody else the wheel to drive? A certain somebody??
Flicking backwards through the files of the diary he realizes in awe that the first entry is from 1995.
Santa Barbara, August 17th, 1995
Why haven’t I been at your side when you needed me most, David?
David looks away from the screen. This is not fair! He knows he shouldn’t go on reading now – but like with any other addiction he has to set his eyes back to the monitor.
I better write this down before I’m completely wasted and drowned in alcohol. My heart bleeds like your wrist must have been. It’s better to type – more distance, though I’m trying to fool myself here! Playing synths or piano is the most direct connection to my soul. Whether I write it down or type – the pain is immediate and nearly unbearable.
Dave, you are so talented and beautiful – how could you wanted to throw all this away? How desperate must you have been! And again – I didn’t see it! I only saw your full lips, that round and well shaped ass of yours and nearly died every show when you started moving those naughty hips of yours. Seeing the lust in your face – but not for me – for some sluts in the front row. I’m a bit harsh here – not just groupies, the masses love you, and you knew it! You had them all – just with the twitch of your little finger. And you had me – though you never recognized when I nearly was lying at your feet – wanting to kiss every step you left behind. God – I never felt like this before! Being drawn to a person with every fibre of my existence! Male or female – you know I couldn’t care less about all this gender shit! And yet – you have no idea!
I pray to god now – and my view on religion changed a lot over the years – that you will be safe! If John didn’t tell me he would take matters into his hands and we better should stay out off the limelight – I would immediately rush over to you! But what would I tell you? How could I help you? Last time you were so rude – telling me off. I don’t need that again – I’m no dog one can kick around. I have my pride – and that’s the point. I can’t go down to my knees – as you can’t as well.
I can’t take this pain any longer – where’s the fluffy cloud I can let myself fall into? No more conscience – no more suffering. I’m not much cleverer than you – looking for my escape in the booze. When have I ever been really sober? I can’t remember...
Dave sniffs and quickly rubs his eyes.