7.

Dave feels a hot wave washing over him and he tries to escape Mart’s eye contact. The voice addressing him now is suddenly quiet and soft.
„Dave – please – look at me. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m still awfully sorry I crossed a line there – obviously.“
„No, don’t – it’s just...I can’t handle it properly.“
Mart lifts his mate’s face and his eyes seem only consist of blazing green-amber irises.
„You’re awakening, David. A part of you that always must have been there - hidden deep inside of your soul – and you can’t deny it, am I right?“
Only reaction Dave is capable of is a slight nod. A warm hand, slightly rough with calluses on the fingertips, smoothes down his right cheek. David has to close his eyes again. His whole body is tingling. He senses the hot breath and then very slowly and gingerly Martin kisses him on his lips. Finding no real resistence there he lingers there a bit longer, softly caressing the short, dark hair. The crawlies on Dave’s skin doesn’t escape him.
Parting again he has to take a deep breath and his lids are fluttering.
„Curly, I have to make a confession.“
Looking into his brown-green eyes Mart twinkles slightly.
„Promise you won’t be mad at me – please!“
„Whatever it is – it’s already forgiven.“
Those full, wet lips come closer again and this time Dave answers with his - now firmly closing around his opposites. Mart’s arms slip around him, one resting at his waist, the other stabilizing his nape, pulling him closer against his chest. When his tongue begs for entrance Dave hesitates and Mart lets his lips go and rests his forehead against David’s.
„You don’t have to proove me anything, Dave. No need to rush.“
„It’s just...I kissed so many women in my life – and men, oh well! I never even spent a thought...well...I never took anything serious. Does that make any sense?“
Now Martin smiles at him.
„Is it really so difficult to get used to the idea that gender barriers are bullshit? That there’s more to it than just sex – and even more sex with the wrong partners? Lust is lust – love is love. At least in my book. And see – I have three lovely kids with the same woman – which says something, doesn’t it?“
He twinkles now and lets his index finger wander down Dave’s cheek bone, down to his chin.

Seeing suddenly all the love beaming at him Dave hasn’t got the heart to tell him about the diary. Somehow it feels like betrayal. Mart seems to sense the shift in his mind and pats him lightly on his shoulder.

„Don’t worry. I won’t jump at you. You should have recognized I always found you damn attractive – since the beginning. I never expected you would let a crazy blonde sexual pervert in a leather skirt closer than an arm length – at least when you were at your full senses.“ Mart tries to sound casual now – but Dave detects the hidden pain.
„Dave, I am your friend – ever was and always will be. Don’t let yourself be confused now. Suppose you need a proper lay. When’s Jen flying in?“

„She probably won’t make it this time. Unforseen probs at the shoot. Jack will take Rosie and Jimmy over as it looks.“
„Shit! I’m so sorry – perhaps there’s a slight chance?“
Dave shakes his head – already feeling the wellknown sadness gripping his heart.
Martin fixes his friend for a moment and then walk to his desk in a corner of the room. Rummaging in one of the many drawers he fetches a shabby looking, thick blue notebook – and another green one. Returning to the perplexed David he offers them to him.

„Take good care of these as there are no copies of them. Read them well – and you might to start to understand.“
„What...what the frigg are those?!“
„My innermost thoughts – my diaries from the 80ties up to 1995. The missing links kinda.“ He now fixes Dave’s view. „The ones you didn’t find on my Mac.“

Dave nearly lets the notebooks drop out off his shaky hands.

„Dave, I didn’t expect things to go this way – and it wasn’t my intention, but it’s like it is. You have the same laptop – you should know about the logfiles. They also tell you must have saved the folder to an external device. Well, I have no idea why I forgot to protect the bleeding thing with a password – but it must have been good for some higher cause – I guess.“
„You knew it all the time?“
„Yes – I could see which pages you had been reading – and that only could mean Pandora’s box was open.“
When Dave wants to reply he simply closes his mouth with another kiss.
„No, don’t say you’re sorry now! Just take your time to let it all sink in and promise me just one thing: Be honest with me concerning your emotions – whatever more you might discover. This is just between you and me. I still trust you with my life, David.“
Nudging him into his side he now smiles encouragingly.
„Now don’t start crying like a drama queen and come to have breakfast. It’s already after 8 and Andy wants us all to meet at 10am sharp.“

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