Note by Useless-girl: After Capri’d asked a break in writing, I had a lot to do at the university too, so we had stopped writing for quite a while and it seemed that this break will be even longer, but luckily when I came home for the second half of December, Capri greeted me on MSN saying that we should write again! A few single ideas were already circulating in our minds and this story just came to us from thin air. And what was the “root cause” of it? Of course another “innocent” gesture from the boys: a handkiss. I love such – quite rare – moments!
Note by Capri: I recommend this short story with all of my love! :D The style is a bit different that the one you can know from us, but we like it so far! :D The writing process was cut off with many “AAA!”s, “WAAAA!”s and “OHMYGOD!”s! XD And how did it start? Zsó signed in on MSN and I asked: “Hey, did you see the video where Dave kisses Mart’s hand?” XD
Category:SLASH!!! + NC-17
Era: SOTU/Touring the Universe + reminiscences
Started on: 21.12.2009
Note2 by Useless-girl: I’d like to recommend “A question of lust” and “It doesn’t matter two” and their lyrics from DM. The idea for the title came from the latter one. And we have a new favourite too: Placebo – Meds (Angkor Wat Version)
The crowd was rumbling, clapping and screaming. He could still feel the heat radiating from the reflectors, he could feel the sweat sliding down on his temples, and Dave’s familiar perfume hit his nose, but he sensed all these things just in the back of his mind. The surprise made him forget everything else.
“Why did you do this, you fool? Why?” he asked the singer with his eyes. Their gazes met for a moment. There was playfulness in the other man’s eyes and something much deeper and darker behind. He was on top, spinning, he was happy and this made him daring. The audience liked it. Martin was struggling with himself. Lately Dave made a habit of hugging him spontaneously in the heat of the concerts or when a wave of love washed over him, but he never made such a thing like this… that he kissed Mart’s hand in front of all these people. Of course he meant it as a game, and probably the audience saw what Dave wanted them to see with his magic, but this meant something else to Martin. And he knew that Dave was clear with it.
He tried to ease his confused expression with a big laugh. He wasn’t scared that the ecstatic crowd’d start analyzing his face – anyway, the majority of them saw him just from the side – but he knew that Dave saw the first sparkles of disfavor changing the surprised and confused ones in his green irises.
“Fool!” Mart mouthed to him after turning his back to the crowd, but it seemed that the frontman was just laughing at this. Mart rather looked down and plunked on his guitar as he turned back to the fans. He fought off his blushing. “Fool…” he thought after a few minutes and a faint smile formed in the corner of his lips. He looked upwards and closed his eyes, bathing his face in the warm light of the lamps.
Just playing with the crowd mattered to Dave now. He moved along with his erotic hip-rolling to let his voice out straight into the mic, singing the first lines of a new song. The fans screamed and yelled in union. He gestured the lines of the song feverishly. The sweat drops left his sweaty skin from this. He was living just for the moment. But in the break between the two verses he looked at Martin and a broad, playful smile spread on his face. He looked like a child, who knows that he did something he shouldn’t have, cuz there was something bigger behind it.
Martin tried to avoid Dave’s further provocations, sinking into his own little world again, but he couldn’t stop himself and after Dave’s “Miles Away-action” he glimpsed at the singer time after time, thinking or smiling on his moves or grimaces. But Mart frowned again and again. What’d be the next step?, he asked himself. Accidentally Dave gives a kiss not onto his face, but onto his mouth in the heat of the song?
But Dave held himself back, although he couldn’t stop himself hugging Mart at the end of the concert. He said and waved goodbye to the audience with a wide grin and shining eyes. Of course he was the last one coming down from the stage and he was still smiling as he headed towards his dressing room, where he quickly took off his vest and reached for a towel. Martin walked into the room without knocking, still wearing his glittery vest and trousers. His eye-make up was smeared from the sweat, but he didn’t care. He walked to one of the tables without a word and took a bottle of mineral water and poured some into a glass. Dave turned towards Mart, drying his still wet hair with the towel then he put it onto his shoulders and asked:
“Why did you do this?” he asked nearly pouting.
“The fans liked it. I don’t know why you’re upset about this” he shrugged then threw the towel onto a chair.
Martin’s eyes followed the movement automatically then he turned and broke his gaze away from the still glistening upper-body. He took another sip then put the glass down and folded his arms in front of his chest.
“That’s one thing, I mean that they liked it, but maybe you shouldn’t show such obvious signs in public. What’ll we do if they get suspicious?”
“Oh c’mon Martin!” he waved with his hand “How would they know what we do with each other in the background? They don’t take it serious either, they’re just having fun.”
“Alright, it’s one thing what the fans are thinking, or what they’ll write about is, but the idea had never crossed your mind what the other people’d think? I mean those, who are close to us? They can easily notice these little signs…” he frowned and from the movement the glittery powder glinted on his face.
“Do you think that our family members care about these moments? We have known each other for the last 30 years, Mart! Don’t you think that the close friendship we have is enough explanation for these things? And you seriously want to hold me back?”
“Why? Wouldn’t I be able to do it?” he rose one eyebrow ‘surprised’, thinking about those times when he could tame Dave like an obedient puppy. He could do it if he wanted. He knew that Dave depends on him like he does on the singer. This was two-sided. But the singer tries to cover this with his wildness and steadiness, like Martin does it with his reserved coldness.
“Try me” he nodded, smiling cheekily again and turned away to search for something on his table.
Martin shook his head, made a face and observed the man for a few minutes as he did this and that. He liked just watching the singer. Earlier he felt often like a stalker when he tried to observe his friend unnoticeably. And not just because of his sexual affinity. Often he just liked watching him. He found Dave beautiful, he liked his energy, which touched him during the concerts, meetings and in bed too. Now he could watch him “freely”, when they weren’t in public or in front of the family. He sighed. He knew him well to know: he was talking to deaf ears now, Dave won’t hear the concern in his voice, he won’t feel the depth of it, which filled Martin lately. Mart didn’t speak about these things when it wasn’t necessary, but slowly it was time for it. He knew how stubborn Dave can be – sometimes even arrogant. A few times Dave hurt Mart’s feelings with this, but he had to take it, because he loved him too much for a long time now, he knew how the singer “works”.
“We see each other in the hotel…” he said quietly and left his glass there, not looking back at his mate
Dave saw as Mart closed the door behind him then sighed and went to take a shower. He didn’t understand this man or why he can’t forget his problems and not worrying on everything for a while.
After the shower he got into a car and – for avoiding the flowing mass of people on the streets – the driver took him into the hotel, where he can order something to eat and where he can finally sleep – just to get onto the jet the next day and start the whole thing over again. He was happy that he’ll have enough time to sleep for long hours and they won’t fly right away, like they often did during the tours. He’ll have time to speak to Curly. Yes, Dave was stubborn, but he saw when something bothered Mart and he didn’t like to see him upset. He felt sorry because he didn’t let Mart speak in his dressing room, but Dave often feels the differences in the way they see the world!
When he arrived at the hotel, he didn’t go upstairs into his room, but headed to the bar. He knew Martin’ll be there, although he doesn’t drink alcohol now. The blonde man knew that if he bolted himself into his room, the others’d know that something’s wrong with him and he was very careful not to let anyone know anything about the relationship between him and Dave.
Dave was right, his mate was sitting in the bar, in the far corner of the room. He was with Christian and Peter. Those two were talking about something, laughing out loud, and even the always busy Kessy put a word in time after time, while he was doing something on his HTC again. But the blonde man, sitting in his furred hooded jacket, was visibly “separated” from them, generally just staring in front of him or watching the guests and his surroundings. He folded his arms in front of his chest, leaning back on the cushioned seat. When they weren’t in a warmer country with the tour, or when he wasn’t at home in
Santa Barbara, he usually wore a jacket or warm pullovers, as if he was always cold. He’s got used to the swelter too much. He always liked it. Unlike the chilly and damp weather back in England. And he hated winters. He was afraid that maybe someday the coldness will reach his soul, making him numb. But of course he knew that this wasn’t possible, because the last few years of his life was quite good – especially since he went dry – but it isn’t so easy to get rid off habits. He learned and knew this from first hand.
It seemed that the pure feeling of sorrow had sparkled in Dave’s eyes, but maybe it was just the game of the light as he let the setting sink in. He walked towards the table and when he arrived there, he asked:
“Can I join you?”
“Sure!” Chris’s answer came with a grin, breaking off the conversation with the other two men “Do you want something to drink or eat? I was about to go to the counter."
“No, thanks. Food can wait” he looked into another pair of green eyes.
The corner of Martin’s lips curled up for a moment, but he didn’t say a word, just returned Dave’s look for a few long seconds before reaching for his coke
“And to drink? You’ve lost a lot of liquid, you should refill your system!” Chris mothered over Dave.
“Alright, alright!” he gave up and laughed “Then I’d like some mineral water, please. Cuz I have to refill my system…”
“Okay” Chris laughed too.
“You can bring me another beer, thank you” Peter said before Chris could ask. The drummer cut and ran quickly towards the counter
Kessy turned to Dave, checking something on his cell.
“Dave, don’t forget that tomorrow, after we arrive to
Houston, you’ll have a two-hours-long interview for a magazine.”
“Two hours long? Are you serious? Can’t I take Mart with me?”
“No, you can’t, they want just you. Prepare yourself that they’ll ask about the bad luck of the tour and about your illness.”
“Wasn’t it enough for me to take the rumors that I fell back? Now they want to talk about that maybe I have cancer?” he puffed. Although he knew the results of the biopsy and the doctors reassured him that they’d discovered it in time, deep in his soul he was still afraid of this. In the past he had been destroying his body quite heavily, so there was a chance that things’ll go wrong.
“You know the usual routines, right? Shortly explaining the facts then gently changing the subject. If a smile comes too, it’s even better. Don’t let them make you angry.”
“Sure, you’re right. It’s just that sometimes…” he didn’t finish the sentence “I’ll do that interview and I’ll act nice. After all now the tour is going on without any problems, everybody’s happy, things are good” he stretched and rubbed his eyes then ran his fingers through his hair “I can’t wait for the next gig!” he smiled.
“Everything’ll be fine” John said this on such a determined voice that the others had no doubt about it that he was right “But now I have to go. Have to arrange some calls. Don’t stay up too late!” he stood up.
“Yes, mom…” Martin noted quietly – finally saying something – which made the returning Chris laugh out loud with the others.
Dave took his mineral bottle then sipped a big one. Soon they were deep in conversation and the next time Dave glimpsed at his watch, he saw that it was already past 2 am. “I think it’d be better for me to go to sleep now. John’ll kill me, if I fell asleep on the interview – and there’s a chance for that!” he said and stood up.
“I go too” Mart nodded with a sleepy expression “Have fun!” he said to the others. They were already looking around, searching for someone from the crew to join to.
“Yeah, bye. Have a nice rest!” the both of them nodded.