Chapter 13

 
Dave vigorously rushed into the restrooms, didn't care to look around he stopped near the urinal and yelled right into Martin's ear: 
- MARTIN EVERYTHING'S FUCKED UP! 
- Huh? - Martin was thoughtfully standing near, - what's happened? 
- Daniel Miller is here! - Dave screamed, contriving to speaking and jostling and jumping up from impatience and doing what people actually doing while standing before a urinal. - He's here in the club,…Vince told that…I am fucking dead. That dude from Mute, who rejected us with Vince. Fuck how can I fucking perform before him, huh? I will shit into my pants. We ARE FUCKING DONE! 
Martin put his tool into his pants and nodded pensively. Dave looked to Martin's side and almost dropped his dick from his hands. 
- Fuck me, - he said, - fuck my fucking fuck… 
He silently tried to rush inside the toilette cabin but it was closed, then he probably decided to climb over the door, but Martin grabbed him by the belt of his trousers and was holding him tightly, while dragging way out off the toilette. 
- Dave, don't be such a cunt, DAVE…FUCK…DAVE!!! 
Dave didn't give up, but Martin appeared more persistent this time and finally he managed to tear Dave from the door. 
- Sorry, - he said to Miller who was actually standing in the middle of the restrooms. Daniel was looking at them with weird expression on his clear shaven face, his eyes were screwing, he bent his head and crossed his hands on his chest, - We are sorry, - Martin repeated once again, pushing Dave off, though Dave lost all his abilities to resist. 
That was the first time when Fletch hugged him. When he saw Dave ash pale face he silently thrust him a glass full of cheap whiskey, made him drink it right to the bottom with one gulp, then grabbed his shoulders and pulled Dave to himself. Dave butted him, smelling the soap powder from Andy's t-shirt, and tried to break free from him as he felt better. Indeed he felt better, like this concrete mixer inside him, rolling his guts into the knot and vibrating his jaws finally stopped working. 
- Oh, my, - he exhaled. 
- It's time, old boy, - Fletch said, his face was still as a forest lake, - it's time. 
Martin as pale as Dave was, moving forward in near unconsciousness condition. He stooped hearing in a second and his knees were wobbling. Vince was rubbing his sweaty palms against his trousers and his face held intensive expression, and if Martin didn't feel his hot breath with his back he'd stop right here and fell into some kind of comatose, or better, died and it will be over. 
 
They were raining from the sky 
Exploding in my heart 
Is this a love in disguise 
Or just a form of modern art 
From the skies you could almost hear them cry 
Tora! Tora! Tora! * Tora! Tora !Tora! by Martin L Gore  
 
Dave's voice almost broke making the song sounded like a bleeding wound. He liked Martin's songs. They were way less sleek and smooth and professional then pop-songs made by Vince. Martin didn't show them too often. They were weird, lyrics were weird, music was weird and images too. Several days Dave was thinking about the connection between Love and Death of Pearl Harbor, the heart wrenching story about the tragedy of actually foolish defeat, but didn't find an answer. He liked the association of Love with bombers over American military base in the air and Japanese Samurais' signal to burn it with the fire, Tiger! Tiger! Tiger! 
Also he liked Martin's emotionality and paradoxical honesty of his songs. The paradox was that he never opened something exact but somehow managing to show feelings that wouldn't be too accepted to show in the name of Love. They were not very nice, those feelings, not the feelings that you can be proud of, but it was the truth and the truth was making his songs almost unhealthy real. Oh, and the temperature of the songs was right as he like it, they heightened his blood pressure and twisted his balls while he was singing them. He couldn't get it completely how it could be. To love accepting the killing fire and understanding it completely, he just couldn't get…this romance wasn't his cup of tea. He couldn't get it, he just felt it. He was standing there and he was sensing it. Sensing the heart exploding from the pain and desire, wanting to fall down on his knees, howling his accusations to Heavens, cursing them for this crying injustice to send this kind of Love to him. 
He understood where he was right at the moment when he finished his song and only then noticed people near the stage. They reservedly applauded. He wiped the sweat from his fore head and came closer to Martin to tap his shoulder, he didn't have an idea why he decided to do that, he just wanted to show him his gratitude and sympathy. Martin understood it and smiled lightly. 
After thirteen years after that Dave found a way to express his feelings to Martin more comprehensive, after he sang "I feel you" first time. 
- Mart, you know, - he said, - I never ever had sex in such perverted way like I am having with you. Not only that you are fucking my brittle brain, but I am fucking getting a multiplied orgasm from that. 
And that time Martin said nothing, just smiled lightly too. 
Meanwhile Vince's hit was playing. And Vince was writing hits no doubts. Dave was ready to cry from happiness when the audience started to sing along with him - I just can't get enough! - They were singing and dancing and they knew all the words. They were having fun!!! 
Yes, this warming up show before Miller's Fad Gadget went much better then it could. The audience stopped to flip a bird to them and yell "Go fuck yourself" on their third song and they were singing along with them in their last song. When they went off stage Martin told Dave that they never had such incredible success. 
- You are good in performing, - quickly he said, - and as a front-man too, Dave. 
Dave jumped buoyantly from Martin's praise and made some Tarzan Yell hitting his breast with his fists. 
- Are you Depeche Mode? - asked Miller suddenly appearing near. 
- Depeche-e Mode, - automatically corrected him Dave. 
Miller pierced Dave with his tenacious gaze and shook Martin's hand. Martin clutched Miller's hand embarrassedly in some girlish manner, which embarrassed him even more and he squeezed Miller's hand with his both hands. 
- My name is Daniel Miller. - Daniel Miller said him, - I am interested. Let's give it a try. 
Daniel needed all his strengths not to laugh out loud from blonde's shocked look, the lad keep squeezing his hand with his both small paws, and from Dave who was leaning trustfully against blonde's side like a newborn puppy to his one minute elder brother, staring at him with his burning eyes showing the Universe of Love and Devotion in their depths. 
Daniel thought he understood what perplexed him when he first saw them. This abnormal energy they both were radiating. Tape that Vince and Dave have brought him couldn't show this energy, Daniel thought that he can stake on this energy it's just needs to put it somehow into the records. 
They were recording their first album playing together, not recording each part differently, but somehow imitating stage atmosphere, because Daniel decided that this way their energy would be more palpable. And he wasn't mistaken, he was right, and that time he decided that he should take them more seriously then he thought from the beginning of their interactions. Album was selling well and they were playing live rather often, so Dave decided that those horses soon to be leaders. 
 
*** 
 
- I think I've found a garage key. - Martin said stepping back from David. His face became still as if nothing had happened. 
Well, right, actually nothing had happened. 
- I will move my car into then. - Rather coldly Dave answered and ran downstairs. The lack of any reaction from Martin started to irritate him. I'm fucking jumping around him all the day but bastard is looking at me like he has no idea what's going on. And he will look at me like nothing had EVER happened between us two, perfectly knowing that it making me crazy, his silence and his indifference. He knows it, he knows it, he knows. And I know. I know that he didn't forget anything and that he didn't forgive. I believe he remember my each word. And what am I gonna do with this bloody knowledge? 
Dave opened a garage and drove a car inside, pushed a button while staring at the slowly closing garage gates, suddenly he found a piece of newspaper with some advertising. He was reading it while moving upstairs. 
- Mart, I've found a pizzeria. 
- Terrifying, - Martin said. 
- You prefer to die from the hunger then eat this cholesterol shit? - Dave asked. 
- I'd prefer to avoid both, - Martin said, - My liver will kill me anyway. 
- Why are you drinking so much, you fiend, huh? Your liver will kill you. If I were your liver I'd kill you a long-long time ago. I think your liver is like elephant's already. 
Martin giggled evilly. 
- Look, who's talking now… 
Dave decided better to avoid this topic in the future. 
- They have beer, - Dave said and Martin moved closer to him, looking at the piece of the newspaper above Dave's shoulder. 
- You are not drinking, - Martin said, - sort of. 
- Don't be a fanatic, - Dave seemed offended. 
- The phone number tore off, - Martin said. 
- Fucking shit! - Dave exclaimed. 
- Fucking shit, - Martin nodded. 
- Well, uhm, but almost all numbers are there, only the last one left. I contrived something…Mart, where's the phone? 
- In the bedroom, what did you decide to do? 
- I will call by guess-work. 
- You are nuts. 
- Oh, c'mon, the last cipher is eight. I swear I have to guess this one only. 
- Six. 
Dave stretched himself across Martin's bed with the phone in his hands. 
- Huh? 
- The number is six. 
- You've told me you have bad eyesight, - Dave said. 
- Fucking women intuition, - Martin giggled. 
Dave giggled too and thoughtfully tried the first combination of numbers but nobody picked up. And the second time too. Third time and he was discussing with some old lady her parrot for rather long time, and he advised his fifth interlocutor to put the receiver into his ass and that he will call him again soon to make it vibrate. Martin was mesmerized by the free flow of Dave's cursing words he even laid down beside him. A boor on the other side of the connection line continued his hysterical cursing but Dave started to feel a strange yearning inside him from Martin's closeness, he didn't touch him very often even occasionally so it was pleasurable in all meanings. Dave lost his mood to fight with the boor and hung up. He called to this fucking restaurant soon, probably too soon, because as far as he started to estimate how safe it will be to hug Martin now and kissed him in all available places, Martin moved away and stood up. Dave stretched out his hand automatically to catch him like his white impudent cat, trying to escape, and laughed by this reflex. 
Their order was delivered very fast and they decided not to try to be original and settled down into the living-room floor. Dave found an Elvis CD and turned on the music center. The song that played first made Martin choke with his beer and Dave's face became red too, so he decided to choose the second song.  
 
*** 
 
Probably they even wanted to make their Best Hits Tour the last but the Doom decided that it shouldn't. It seemed that to remember everything from the previous evening not that bad and Dave started to like it. So they rehearsed the Exciter tour in Santa-Barbara and moved forward. 
Martin visited Dave's dress-room before the show. 
- Have you seen my mediators? 
- Have I ever fucked with them? - Dave asked. 
- Who knows, - Martin said, carefully examining the table. 
Dave giggled. 
- Have no idea, help yourself. 
Martin took a mineral water from the table and gulped. He found what he was looking for under the bottle and shoved them into his pocket. Meanwhile Dave turned to face a big mirror, stood up on his toes and waving his arm in circle motions: 
- Me-di-a-tor - Mas-tur-ba-tor - he sang some familiar melody, and exclaimed - ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING! 
He showed some more motions and sang, mocking Elvis Presley. 
 
I don't wanna be a tiger 
'cos tigers play too rough 
I don't wanna be a lion 
'cos lions ain't the kind 
You love enough **  
 
- Am I cool Elvis? - He asked Martin. 
- You are, - Martin nodded and returned the bottle onto the table. 
Dave moved closer. 
 
Just wanna be your teddy bear **  
 
Dave moved too close to Martin, playfully, he continued singing jeeringly with erotic aspirations. 
 
Put a chain around my neck 
And lead me anywhere 
Oh let me be 
Your teddy bear ** Elvis Presley Let me be your Teddy Bear  
 
He grabbed Martin's belt from the front and behind, playing with him as if he was a strip-pole for him, continuing his persistent thighs motions, rubbing himself against him. Ouch, just like he expected Martin turned on from his show in a second. Dave didn't had a time to catch some air when he finished the last verse when Martin grabbed his ass with his both paws and pressed him into the dress-room wall hard. Dave was turned on too, mostly from Martin's possessiveness but from his own show also, so he was returning Martin's kisses with incredible zeal. Drinking the taste of their kiss, savoring the feelings of hot lips and the hardness of those things that were put together now under belts of their pants. They were rubbing against each other throw the fabric multiplying their desire to entwine their mouths in hot kiss and never severe. 
Martin pulled down his pants, getting down no his knees before him. Dave's nape hit the wall; he started to feel dizzy sensing the cool air with his dick becoming more sensitive with every second now. Martin touched him with his tongue from the back of the head as if taking his dick from downside with his half opened mouth. He caressed up and down his length and Dave was fighting his desire to fuck Martin's mouth hard and he explained his desire to Martin in rather popular way. So you can forget the possibility of misunderstanding there, but Martin didn't' react on Dave's plea and continued to tease him with soft and tender motions of his lips and tongue. 
- Ma-a-a-a-art, - he whined and breathed in feverishly, - Mart, you don't know how to suck, huh? 
He didn't like the way Martin looked at him right after these words, maliciously and weird, crooking his eyebrow and the feeling that everything is fucked up from now on filled Dave with unbelievable yearning. 
Martin stood up and stepped back a little, abruptly turned Dave around with one movement of his strong hands, bending him forward. His one hand hugged his belly, lower belly or better to say pelvis under his hardened cock, pushing him forward to bent more and Dave knew that he'd rather sale his soul if anyone needs it still then he'd break this touch. The touch shocked his nerves so hard; he missed the main point of what's going on. He was lying with the upper part of his body onto the table, voluptuously curving his back more but something made him whisper: 
- Don't do it, Mart… 
He raised his face and looked to the mirror wishing to meet Martin's gaze and desperately needing to show that he isn't joking at all but asking for his mercy indeed. 
- Martin, fucking don't. Stop it, you ba-s-s-stard, - he moaned hitting his forehead against the table; it was useless to watch Martin now. The most fascist's smirk on this bastard's face of his in the answer for all his pleas killed all hopes Dave's ever had. In the depths of his mined he hoped that at the matter of the show everything will end up with Martin sucking him off. Martin probably understood it and with his genuine witty inquisitor's sadism he took Dave's hand and put them into his buttocks, per se making Dave to offer himself to him like in Dave's own will. Dave face became red he still hiding it, but suddenly recalled that the door of his dressing room is left unclosed, and he said that to Martin. Martin tactfully replied that he shouldn't care about anything in this world except his cock in his fucking ass, Dave was ready to answer but soon he stopped worrying about the other things. 
- SHIT! Someday my eyes will fell out and will hang on their nerves, - he shouted when Martin impaled him. The pain almost tore him into pieces. Earlier he thought that it was because of the lack of Martin's experience but today he grew sure that Martin just enjoying that. He's enjoying making him feel pain, mainly from his high emotional reaction he provoked. Dave suspected that if he'd found a way how to teach himself not to cry out and twitch in their first seconds, Martin would lost his interest in that game a long time ago. 
He started to breathe calmly, movements became softer and smoother and tender more, yeah tender as if can be hard to believe, they were relaxing him gradually, making him drown into warm soft cloud of the real pleasure. He couldn't understand which perverted fantasy held his mind but he was extremely turned on by the fact that Martin was taking him. Sometimes Martin did that very carefully and tenderly, kissing him endlessly and tirelessly caressing him in all possible ways, he was almost coming and loosing his senses only by Martin playing with his body, but sometimes he was using him, taking him hard, didn't care about his pleasure at all. And it was turning on Dave very hard, he moaned louder and louder more, he was ready to cry out, he didn't care of anybody would hear, but Martin closed his mouth with his palm. He rested his other hand against Dave's back. 
Dave raised his head again to see his own wet face with Martin's hand on his lips in the mirror and he saw Martin threw back his head he opened his mouth fighting for breathe, oh fuck he was using him to please himself very well. Dave whined trying to bite Martin's finger, because the sight of Martin fucking his ass in pure ecstasy was a little bit too much to bear. 
Martin managed him to suck on two of his fingers, expanding the speed of his movements inside Dave to unbelievable rate. Dave was doing his job too, the time for him to grab his dick with his hand was enough to feel hot waves of climax twisting his body to the point of pain and he just remembered Martin's eyes watching him in the mirror later. 
Martin went out first. And he went onto the stage first, playing intro. Dave showed later, using this time to make him right, but he still felt pleasurable tickling with his skin and emotions was tearing him open rushing outside, he grabbed the microphone and starting singing: 
 
We're the horniest boys 
With the corniest ploys 
Who take the easiest girls 
To our sleaziest worlds ***  
 
He hissed abruptly, moving his hips wrong way, and this reminded him of this melancholic animal, playing his guitar, who cynically fucked him up his ass. And he felt that the thought of the sweet revenge appeared inside his mind. Martin smirked as he felt his stare. Dave shook his head and continued the song. 
 
With our lecherous plans 
In our treacherous hands 
You'd be wasting your time 
Saying no, it's a crime 
 
All that we live for you'll regret 
All you remember we'll forget ***  
 
Oh my, how had he shouted at Martin yesterday! Even he, Dave Gahan, was done by his maniacal fucking around completely he felt sick. And he was mad at this bold matchmaker, his nanny and bodyguard, making the casting of female meat for Martin. Amazing fact, just shockingly striking, the whole time he knew Martin he was impressed how he managed to make persons same sex with his desperately wanting to please him. His not making them, he managing them to feel this desire was born somewhere deep inside of them and made them extremely happy if he received their care. 
He complained to Jennifer about it all, but Jennifer told him that it is just one of lady's secret he better not to know. He chocked with his coffee and coughed for a long time, his wife has rather weird sense of humor. Probably that was what they had with Martin in common. But this bodyguard tried to please Martin like a nanny her spoiled child, bringing him this and that and guarding him from the wrong people and the real world outside. Dave asked Martin, if he'd ordered to his bodyguard to suck him off would he object at all? Martin answered him with his Heh-heh-heh and seemed to have fun from this idea. The question of would he suck off Martin if he ordered didn't even rose in Dave's mind. And Dave said to Martin that even Fletch moved away from him, although he's seemed to be a Saint and Martin should look what is around him more carefully. 
 
With our decadent minds 
And our innocent lines 
You'll be playing our games 
With your bodies in flames ***  
 
Martin answered that Dave just envying him because Jennifer will never permit him to behave like that. Dave became mad and fucked hard one chick, looking like Martin somewhat about 85-th Era in very perverted way, and that deep moral satisfaction he felt, surprised himself. But he wanted Martin to see this act of love and he did, though this cunt loved it. I mean Martin loved it. 
 
When delirious fun 
Has seriously begun 
You'll be down on your knees 
You'll be begging us please***  
 
Dave realized only now in this tour that Susanne knew everything just perfectly. Before he didn't have an idea but realized now. He visited Martin very often, once and twice and more and refused to let him go. He couldn't comprehend what was that unusual seizure of unbelievable passion that took them both. Although they didn't seem happy. She shouted at Martin, Dave heard it when he was near Martin's doors at the hotel. Martin was silent. It seemed worse and worse with every day. He thought that Martin's whores do her completely but everything wasn't that simple, he found out that Susanne was pregnant again. She didn't afraid to fly and came again. They had a little fight with Dave once when they were dining and he wasn't restrained even by Jennifer presence. He announced Susanne that she found a fucking shitty way to attract Martin's attention. 
- You better watch your own wife, - she hissed and there was a threat. 
 
All we're demanding you'll supply 
All we're accused of we'll denied *** The Dead of Night by Martin Lee Gore.  
 
*** 
 
So Speak and Spell had its success for independent label. In spite of terrifying red cover with a swan wrapped in plastic. Well but in the person of this swan Martin and Dave had a joke which they were joking everyday, trying to exceed each other in their humorous comments about what does it means. And they were snickering loudly. Others didn't smiled most of the time but they were almost dying laughing. Martin's and Dave's sense of humor wasn't quite normal as Vince thought they hardly comprehended what was going on around them. They were watching their first videos like school pictures: 
- Ohhh,…I am so ugly, - Dave droned. 
- I am ugly, - Martin said, - with big perky ears. 
- Huh, - Dave said, - Huh-huh-huh. 
- Why didn't I die when I was a child? - Sadly announced Martin. 
- Oh, fuck,…Vince, - Dave snickered pointing to the TV with his finger, - Look, Vince looks like fucking shit incarnate…listen alive person couldn't look like this. Fletch! FLETCH!!! You know, you reminding me of… 
Fletch put his hand on Dave's shoulder. 
- I don't want to know. 
- No, Fletch… 
- I am not even curious. 
Martin looked at Fletch and Dave with interest in his eyes. 
- But Fletch, you are really looks like… 
- Dave, keep you mouth shut, huh? - Fletch was joking but something in his voice was threatening. He leaved his hand in Dave's shoulder. 
- Blah-blah-blah, - Dave mocked Fletch. 
Martin shoved him with his elbow.  
- Like what? 
Dave looked at Fletch wary, pressed his mouth into Martin's ear and whispered something. They both were laughing loudly. 
- You morons, huh? - Fletch said. 
Obviously Vince wasn't too happy about the amount of attention that Miller gave to Martin Gore. At the point that actually him, Vince was the leader of this band. Fletch saw it perfectly and tried to support him as he could. Dave didn't give a shit because virtually he didn't pay any attention on anything around if its name wasn't Martin Gore, making Vince felt like two's a company, three's a crowd. Even with Fletch around. Because Fletch was probably having fun making up with this weird pair, but not with him. 
Once Miller invited them to say that Vince Clarke decided to leave the band. As they came into Daniel's office he announced that. Dave reached with his hand for the chocolate cookies lying in a basket at Miller's table. 
- Wicked, - Martin said, - he didn't tell us anything. 
Daniel looked at Martin intently but Martin didn't move a muscle. 
- Why did he left? - asked chewing Dave. 
- He said that he can't bear the pressure that pushing groups like that forward and he's wishing to make things that he wanting to and don't mix the creative process with business. 
- Oh, yeah? - Unexpectedly spitefully Martin asked and something mean sparkled inside the green of his eyes if only for a second. Daniel pierced him with his gaze and rubbed his chin. 
- Asshole, - Dave said, shoved the entire cookie into his mouth and grabbed another. Fletch hit his hand and Dave whined pitifully and Daniel handed him an entire basket. Dave grabbed his prey and set at the long distance from Fletch and Martin, showing his tongue to everyone. 
They were drinking beer later at night in some bar. 
- Hey, what the fuck did I told him, huh? - Dave asked Martin and Fletch both, - kinda his songs are sloppy and poppy and buggery too. What's wrong with that? 
- Nothing wrong, - Martin nodded, - And you've said that you wouldn't sing this shit anymore. 
- Oh, and you kinda told him that you would, - Dave said. 
Martin shook his shoulders, giggled and took a sip from his beer. Dave was indignant: 
- I just can't comprehend, what's his problem? Why did he left? 
 
*** 
 
First part of the tour finished and June was closer and closer each day. Something had happened with Martin. He was flying there and back from the cities they were performing into Santa-Barbara. He was explaining it with some everyday domestic worries like Ava should see a doctor and something happened in his boiler room and Susanne can't do anything with that. Dave was mad and he shouted at him why his sheep dog named Darrel couldn't improve his hopper, Martin was squeezing his teeth and remained silent. Then something happened with Susanne again and Dave said in a fit of a temper why the fuck his sheep dog is not able to entertain his wife in his absence. Martin twitched as if he was hit by high-tension current and hit Dave against the wall Dave tried to resist and the next hit broke his lower lip. If not Fletch and Darrel probably he wouldn't be on stage tonight at all. 
Fletch was watching them the entire show because there was a hurricane in the air between them. Martin never raised his head from the guitar. The next show was canceled and this time Kessler said that Martin has serious problems. Third Susanne's pregnancy proceeding badly even to say unexpectedly badly. She was in the hospital all the time. Martin thought he's the one to blame and Susanne thought that it was Martin's fault either. Like it always happens in this life the thing that should save and protect relationships, threaten to break everything and even Susanne's life. Then Kessler announced that the second part of the tour was canceled because Martin couldn't be there because he should be with Susanne. Dave found Martin late to ask why the fuck he always the last to know what happened. Martin couldn't explain. 
- So you decided? - Dave asked. 
- Yeah. 
- And what did you decided? 
- I should go. 
- What about our tour? 
- I am sorry, Dave. 
- I am sorry, Dave, - Dave raised his head up to the ceiling, - I am sorry, Dave. Fucking motherfucker, all that I ever got from you, Martin was I am sorry; Dave but I can't do it any other way. 
- Dave, I must apologize to you but I really can't handle it any other way. 
Dave noisily exhaled and inhaled. There was a glass of water on the table he drank it with one gulp. 
- You are perfectly know, - he said throw the squeezed teeth, - she was manipulating you with this child she didn't need him she just trying to keep you. She felt her rival and decided to kill him in her most deadly weapon, and this weapon is your own child. She needs you. Well she doesn't need you; she needs this substitute of the happiness and normal being that your presence in her life is keeping. 
Martin rubbed his face tiredly. 
- Whenever the reason could be she is the mother of my children. And of my future child. 
- That's was the plan, - Dave hissed. 
- I don't want to discuss it with you anymore, David, - Martin said. 
- Spiderwoman. 
- Shut up, Dave. 
- When you will see her, give her my congratulations, and tell her that after a long agonizing fight and a series of precise impacts she won, let this bitch be happy! 
- SHUT THE FUCK UP! - Martin screamed. 
Dave flipped him a bird and ad some more dirty comments about his gesture too. To be honest he was ready that Martin will hit him. Martin was going to rush toward him but he stilled. His eyes were scary. But he did nothing. 
- I can't take it any more, - Dave said moving closer to him, he turned to steel from the burning rage inside him, - If you didn't know until now, I have people that I care about near me. The person that I love and I care. Who loves me and cares about me in return. The person to whom I do mean something. You are the one who demonstrating me all my life that I am nothing. 
- I am not demonstrating you that you are nothing, Dave. 
- You are. Every day and every hour, - Dave relaxed a little, - And I will show you someday that I do mean something in this band and in your fucking life, Mart. 
- Dave, stop it, - Martin said, - I beg you to stop. 
- I won't. You know I won't stop. I fucking can't stop when you are sawing me it's fucking hurts too much, Martin, 'cos I am alive… I am alive! 
- Me too, Dave. 
- You too what? 
- It doesn't matter, - Martin said, - No, It doesn't. 
- It does, Martin. IT DOES IT DOES IT DOES! - Dave said, - It means so much for us both if we ever existed it is fucking important. I am not nothing. But when I will be dying you won't come. You wouldn't do it for me. 
- Dave, I… 
- If you will go now - never come back, - Said Dave, - If I am nothing to you - you are nothing for me too. It's over now. 
Martin smashed the glass against the table, turned on his heels and went out, shutting the door behind his back. 
The second part of the tour was canceled. Andy Fletcher refused to give any comments about the tour and band future plans. Dave Gahan in his interviews doubted in a possibility to the band to have a future at all.

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