Sea of Sin
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Rawiya - I Dont Want Your Love but I Want You Now
Rawiya - I Dont Want Your Love but I Want You Now : 17 - Clean

17 - Clean

  2011.04.09. 13:47


Clean
Rawiya


After a long evening in my bed, with the two people I did not want, I finally kicked them out. Jennifer had stayed over her mother’s house with the kids and since my mind was not in the right place right now, I did not put up a fuss.

However, once I got rid of fucking Alan and Martin, I did think about the man I did want. The one whom I had desired for oh so long and could not get out of my head: John fucking Taylor. The man who made me lose it all; sensibility, tact, my manliness.

Although we did not hang around one another, just the thoughts and sights of him turned me into a puddle. John was and always had been fancied by people of both sexes, not only because he was gorgeous, but due to the personality. John was so confident, most of the time, very polite, and intelligent.

I needed him immediately, no later. That kiss that we shared yesterday was so beautiful that I refused to let go. Although those two fools tried to take away my feelings and point them elsewhere, my desire for John was unchanged.

At this point, it is four a.m. The coffee maker and the sounds of birds chirping outside were the only noises accompanying my thoughts. I sit here with nothing but hot sex on my brain along with lust and love in my heart. Of course, even though my groin had been satisfied, I still envisioned him filling that tight spot between my legs.

I wonder if his good for nothing, man has left him alone now. Has Lebum tailed off, falling asleep in the arms of the best fucking individual on the planet or is he pleasing him as he wants and so rightfully deserves?

These are questions that I longed to have the answers to. Are you truly, happy John? Like your old tune said all those years ago. Moreover, am I happy with my current situation?

There was no debate on my love for my wife but I now wondered about the possibilities of John being with me, if that would be something she could accept or would she want to leave me?

Truthfully, I hated to think that she would get so upset but her reaction to seeing Alan and I kiss gave me more worry. I cannot let another decade go by without showing John how I felt. The embrace we shared the prior day not enough.

“John, I need you…” I muttered while drinking the last of the decaf out of my cup whilst pulling my phone out of my pocket.

As those two slept side by side in my bed, I went to wash the filth from me, in order to get clean. The dirt from two old hats that did not wish to see things change, they claimed that they desired to bring back what we had previously.

However, now, I wished to do exactly the opposite. I wanted to rid myself of the nasty reminders in my life and move on to things bright and new.

John would be part of my new start. Surely, I would understand that he wanted to keep his raggedy wife around because I might do the same. Moreover, I would not share him with any other man, not Simon, not Martin, not anybody.

Twenty long years Nigel John, and not until today have I come clean with my feelings. No more games, my love, we do not have forever. So let us take advantage of today, moving forward into a new direction.

“Fuck,” I yelled, slamming my hands on the table. Knowing that if I told Jennifer this she most likely would not approve. But, did I really give a flying rats ass if she did? Was I to be concerned?

Sitting at my table was not making all the uncertainty go away. I had to find out what his inner, most feelings were right at this moment. It was however, his turn to come clean too.

Just as I was about to go in my bedroom, my cell rang that familiar tune. The one I had just saved as his tone, his own song; he is undoubtedly thinking of me as well.

I picked it up, pushing the green button, “Allo?”

“Hi Dave…” he said in his sexy voice.

“Allo, John, how ar yoo?”

“I’m good Dave. Look, I am sorry to call so late but…I…cannot stop thinking of yoo. Even though I have done jus about everything to rid myself of wot occurred between us today, I…I…”

With a Cheshire grin on my face, “Oh baby, I feel the same way…”

“David, I…need to come clean and tell yoo that even though I am still not completely believing how yoo feel, I am willing to take a chance…”

“As am I John, as am I…”

“Can we meet, Dave? I…need to see yoo now before Simon wakes, my friend…”

As those last words came out of his mouth, I closed my eyes, thinking of places that we could go. “Yes, Nigel, wot did yoo have in mind?”

“I don’t care, Dave. Just not here and most likely, not at yor place since yoo keep  getting interrupted.”

“Don’t worry my love, we’ll think of somethin’. Just get yorself dolled up like usual and I will meet yoo…” I trailed off, so he would let me know where he was staying.

John giggled slightly, “At the Fairbanks hotel, do yoo know where that is…”

“Yes, I do actually. I’ll be there in twenty minutes, my love…”

John hesitated after I called him that, “Alright mate. See yoo in a bit, yeah?”

“Yes, my dear. Goodbye now…”

“Bye…”

As those wild scenarios ran through my head once more, I pressed the red button.

“Yes,” I pumped my fist back in the direction of my body as I grabbed my small jacket, heading for the front door.

Quickly, I ran downstairs, jumping in my automobile, pulling away from the curb as if I were in hot pursuit. I actually was considering I was going after someone that I had always desired.

While driving, my head went replayed our phone conversation, from just a few moments ago. Seemingly, he knew where I was coming from and vice versa. Both of us were realizing our feelings, him coming clean with his as I had already done yesterday.

In a little less than twenty I was there and immediately, I texted him telling him I had arrived. Before I waited for confirmation, he was looking into my Mercedes, through the window.

I pushed the automatic locks, and let him in. The minute he sat in my seat, I did not allow him to say anything. I tangled my fingers inside his hair, using it as an assist tool to pull him close to me, enveloping his lips with mine.

“Oh, Dave…” he said, rubbing my chest through my fitted tee shirt before immediately dropping his hand to the space between my legs.

“John…dammit…uhh…” I moaned as he stroked me through my jeans, making my hardened length ache with desire.

“God’s Dave…let’s find a place, huh? I have some money, let’s jus go…now….” he breathed, his tongue still wrapped around mine.

“Yes my love…let’s,” I said, leaving my hand in his thick mane of brown, blondish hair.

Within a moment, I drove off not knowing where we were going. My only concern right now, was to get him somewhere so we could shed what was routine, old, and dirty for something new, something fresh, clean.
Up in John’s room…

Simon paced the floor as he had heard his lover call Dave Gahan. He was beyond livid, trying to keep his dirty thoughts to himself about how he would rid the annoying singer from his life and John’s…

“Fuck, John…I am the only man for yoo, regardless. No matter wot yoo might think that he can do for yoo, he does not measure up and yoo know it. Wotever it takes to make him go away, I will do it…this piece of dirt is mine to deal with now. Even if it means that I have to play a nasty game.”

Copyright 2010 All Rights reserved Rawiya



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