Heaven or Hell
“I’ve been looking for an angel, angel
To come and save me from this hell
To come and save me from myself…”
The first time he saw him on this plane, his breath was taken away by his beauty. He was radiating it from every pore of his pure being. It was clear that he was enjoying his stay by the waterfall that sprayed steam into the air of the small secluded valley, making the greenery lush and beautiful around. The small drops of water glistened on the spread white wings in the sunlight. The whiteness was so brilliant and pure that the lurking demon had to shield his eyes until he got used to it. He should’ve attacked and killed the angel on spot, but he couldn’t make himself to do it.
He was just so beautiful.
Instead he let his eyes wander on the fragile-looking slim body. He knew looks could be deceiving and the strength the angel was radiating along with his blinding grace told Adam that he was right. This pure creature was much stronger than he looked. But now… now he was just slowly taking off his white tunic and golden sandals to get into the shallow water. The line of his graceful back, the small globes of the tiny ass and the creamy white skin made the demon think sinful thoughts – which wasn’t far from his nature, of course. But it lacked torture or defiling the blonde angel. He wasn’t really a fan of that anyways, which was unusual for a demon. Yes, he obeyed to his orders, yes, he killed and tortured when needed, but he never enjoyed that. Not even in his youth when his demon blood was boiling and unspeakable urges were making him restless and ready to discover this plane for the first time.
It’s been a while since then, many centuries ago, but he never saw anyone like this being who was enjoying his free time in the water, holding his wings high in the air to avoid the feather from getting wet. The demon wanted to touch those feathers badly. They appeared to be so soft and inviting. He knew that most of his kind would just go and take what they wanted because they were a fierce species, but not him. He was just standing in the shadows of the trees and bushes, feasting his eyes on the unearthly beauty.
By the time the blonde angel came out of the water and dried himself off on the sun, the demon memorized every curve of his lithe body and his longing became stronger. The intensity of it surprised him. It was rare that a demon longed for an angel, but it wasn’t unheard of. After all, his ancestor was once an angel too. Maybe while being born, a part of his longing for his brothers and sisters was passed on him too.
His thoughts were interrupted when the edge of his own leather-wings got caught in a branch and it shook it to get free. He cursed inwardly because the angel was aware of his presence now.
“Who’s there? Come forth!” he demanded without an ounce of fear in his voice, his tunic falling back into its place around the slim body, and a shiny dagger appeared in his right hand.
The demon hesitated for a second. He knew he should’ve disappeared, but before he knew it, his legs were taking him forward and he stepped out of the shadows. He knew the second the angel’s brown eyes were drawn from his electric blue ones and got caught on his black wings.
“Unclean creature!” he hissed and a golden light appeared in his eyes, his huge wings flapping behind him to make him rise off the ground. “What do you want here?!”
The demon took a step forward, his wings folding on themselves to appear less threatening. He was glad he didn’t earn his horns yet, because he always thought they were intimidating. “I mean no harm to you, angel,” he showed his palms to let him know he had no weapon.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth and what…? Were you stalking me?” he frowned with disgust clear on his face.
“I was… I just… I…” he started stuttering and he actually blushed, his freckles practically glowing in his embarrassment. His reaction was very non-demonic. “I was just walking by and then I saw you… and your beauty mesmerized me… I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry?” he trailed off, a part of him willing to let the angel strike him so he could stop feeling like this.
He was sure the angel would flee in disgust, knowing that someone like him was watching him take a bath and make a fool of himself. At times he couldn’t help his clumsiness. He wasn’t too good at this being a demon thing and it showed at the moment too. The silence was stretching between them and for a moment he expected the angel to be gone already, but when he looked up, he saw him slowly descend back on the ground, his wings still spread and ready to lift the slim body in any second.
“Your kind usually despises mine. Why did you think differently of me when you saw me?” he asked and the demon had to wet his suddenly dry lips as golden-brown eyes met blue ones.
“I don’t know. I just thought… think you’re beautiful,” he said truthfully. “I didn’t wish to harm you. I’m sorry for bothering you,” the tall demon turned to leave, certain that the angel didn’t want to spend any more time in his presence.
He seemed to be wrong.
“Wait… What’s your name, demon?” the angel called after him and watched him turn back – hopefully?
“Adam… my name is Adam,” he said softly.
“How ironic…” the angel snorted, but when he saw a sparkle of hurt in the demon’s eyes, he quickly continued. “I mean… you are a demon named after the first human my Father had created.”
“Yeah… well, I was given this name when I was born,” he shrugged and turned fully back towards him. “What is yours?”
“Tommy Joe,” the angel revealed and when he saw that Adam still didn’t plan on attacking him, he let his dagger disappear in a beam of light. He wasn’t sure if the demon wasn’t trying to trick him somehow, but he felt curious now. It wasn’t rare that humans and other angels admired his beauty, but it was the first time for him that a demon did so. Besides this demon didn’t particularly come off as dangerous. For love’s sake, he was blushing like a boy.
“Your name fits you more than mine, I guess,” Adam smiled a bit unsure and felt relieved that Tommy made the dagger disappear. He knew well what those objects could do to his kind. One stab in the heart and he was back in Hell for good. Or at least until he was reborn.
“I guess,” he nodded, still keeping an eye on the demon. “You’re different from the demons I’ve met before. Don’t you have the urge to attack me?”
“No. To be honest, I find your presence pretty relaxing,” he admitted. “Besides, I’m not that good at being a demon. I often think there was a terrible mistake when I was born one.”
An honest demon who admits he isn’t that good at what he is? That was new to Tommy, because this information could be used against Adam if he wasn’t careful. The angel had no idea why Adam trusted him with this knowledge, but somewhere deep it appealed to him. “I had a hunch about that,” he muttered and walked to a fallen tree trunk near the water, sitting so that his wings were resting on the rocky ground behind him. “Come,” he patted the trunk next to him and Adam moved without thinking.
Once he was settled in a similar position next to Tommy, he felt his dark heart flutter from the closeness of the celestial being.
And that’s how their meetings started. Sometimes they talked for hours, sometimes they just sat together for a few minutes before they had to be elsewhere. They didn’t talk about angel or demon business, not really. But they weren’t fishing for information about the other side’s plans anyway. This was just them being close and friendly with each other, enjoying someone’s company who seemed to understand them.
“In you I found my only faith
I lost my halo to your renegade
This love could bring me to my knees
Turn it back on me, turn it back on me
I am exposed, I am undone
Come tear my walls down one by one…”
Adam grew to wait for these encounters excited and each time he was done with his duties and headed to their special place, his heart was racing. It was an amazing change as previously his heart never seemed to get excited about anything – except singing. But now it skipped a beat each time he set his glowing blue eyes at Tommy’s slim but strong form. His sight warmed something in the depths of his body. They said demons were soulless, but he doubted it, because he felt as if he’d found his missing piece.
Their first kiss happened on that same trunk after Adam’s wing decided to have a mind on its own again and touched Tommy’s fluffy one. The demon could feel the tremor of pleasure vibrate through the angel’s whole being. Tommy turned his head and went silent mid-sentence. The nice summer breeze was playing with his hair that was combed to one side of his perfect face. The moment got charged with something like electricity and Adam suddenly felt shy and wanted to apologize, but he had no chance to do so because the next moment he felt lips soft as silk press against his mouth.
Adam had some misty concept about what Heaven could feel like and he was sure it was something like this. He should’ve shied away from the electric feeling as Tommy’s light shot through him, but instead he wanted more of it. He licked along the seam of the angel’s lips and when he opened his mouth, granting permission, Adam slid his tongue inside to discover every part of the sweetness he tasted there. He couldn’t stop himself from cupping the pale face and angle his head better. The way Tommy moved his head so willingly did things to Adam.
Blood rushed south and he never wanted their kiss to end. He could’ve spent eternity tasting Tommy like this. And other ways. It seemed the angel was enjoying this just as much, because soon he found him straddling his lap, sliding closer and closer until their erections pressed together. The feeling made them moan into the kiss and Adam soon found the tie that held the brilliant white tunic together on the slim body. As he revealed more of the perfectly smooth skin Adam had to stop the kiss and watch. He was breathing raggedly and his heart was beating so fast and hard against his ribcage that he thought it’d break free in every second. He had no idea how an angel of all beings could have such an effect on him, but he didn’t protest just let himself feel… love for someone else for the first time in his long existence.
“Can I make love to you, Tommy?” he asked out of breath as he ran a warm hand down on the naked chest and stomach, touching the hard and flushed flesh of the angel’s erection. The need and hope was evident in the demon’s voice, who gave up trying to live up to what was expected of his kind long ago. He wanted to pleasure this wonderful being, who let him close and showed him what being in love felt. Because by then Adam realized that the warm fuzzy feeling that was so fresh and interesting inside must’ve meant that.
“Yes… please,” he nodded just as out of breath as Adam was, his hips moving forward to let Adam know it was okay to touch him. And his eyes rolled back when he did, the intensity of the touch making him shudder from his toes to the tip of his wings that surrounded them.
Finally, finally, Adam had the opportunity to touch them. He heard they were sensitive to the touch when the angel they belonged to weren’t fighting. When that was the case, they could repel a lot of attacks. But now, now his warm fingers felt silky feathers underneath and Tommy’s breathy moans were telltale signs of the rumors being true. “Can I?”
“Fuck yeah…” he groaned and Adam had to grin because angels usually didn’t curse. Well, this one… his angel did. And he fell in love with him just a bit more.
First only his fingertips brushed along the feathers, making Tommy moan again. It was one of the best sounds he’s ever heard and he wanted to hear it more so he continued, tracing the feathers until he reached the place where the strong wings were attached to his back. The skin around there and the beginning of his wings proved to be even more sensitive judging by the way Tommy bucked against his hand that was still moving on his hard cock and the way his eyes rolled back into his head. “So beautiful…” Adam sighed and when Tommy looked down at him and practically attacked his mouth, he stopped his exciting touches and let him tug at his black shirt and leather pants.
Both came off in the blink of an eye and finally they were skin to skin, the burning of Adam’s hot skin eased by Tommy’s cooler one. It was the perfect balance and Adam was amazed how well his angel fit into his arms and on his lap. He couldn’t wait to find out if he fit elsewhere too. He broke the heated kiss for a moment to let Tommy suck on his fingers, that slender hand touching the demon’s thick and long cock just right. Adam had no idea angels could look so wanton and ready to be fucked. The tales and other demons always tried to pose them asexual or frigid, but this one here was practically begging for Adam to fuck his brains out and he was so ready for that.
He slid his fingers to his hole and opened him up as fast as he dared without hurting him. The blue of his eyes were glowing in a lighter, more grayish color as he ducked his head and bit Tommy’s smooth skin on his neck, sucking a hickey there, a mark he had to have on that perfect skin. A proof that this wasn’t just one of his heated dreams about the young-looking angel.
“Come on… I wanna feel it,” he heard the breathy plea and Adam couldn’t hold back anymore. He slicked himself up and lifted the blonde male just to let him descent on his cock which pulled the most perfect sounds out of him and he couldn’t take his eyes off his face. It showed pure pleasure, their bodies joined in a forbidden union. It was so different, so good that Adam couldn’t compare it to anything and it just got better when Tommy started to move above him, eliciting deep and needy moans from the demon too. His claws were digging into the tree trunk under him, not wanting to hurt the beautiful male riding him in pure bliss.
The feeling and the sight was getting just too much to the dumbfounded demon. He willed his claws to retreat because he needed to touch the glowing skin. The angel’s light was getting brighter and it was coming from under his skin, making the demon close his eyes as they watered, his hands touching him wherever he could, paying special attention to his shoulder-blades and wings.
“No, don’t close your eyes… Look at me,” Tommy panted putting a hand on Adam’s freckled and sweaty face as they kept moving in perfect harmony. How was that possible anyway?
The angel had to know his light hurt Adam’s eyes but he opened his glowing grayish blue ones to meet golden brown. The demon had no words to describe all the fairness he saw. His own fiery dark powers were straining against that blinding light but instead of trying to push the light back or dim it, the black mingled with the white and their lips met again, their energies burning and chasing them higher until all rational thoughts or doubts were gone and only the pure ecstasy of their pleasure and union stayed.
“We tried to run, we tried to hide
In fear of losing ourselves
We tried to keep it all inside
So we don’t hurt someone else…”
But as all good things, this had to come to an end too. Their piece of heaven on earth was bound to get ruined sooner or later. It wasn’t because of them though. No. You see, there have always been fights between angels and demons right under the noses of humans. But humans only see what they want to see. Most of them liked to ignore the fact that the battles raged on for their souls and the world they were living in. Earth was the battleground of the countless fights since the birth of mankind.
Both Tommy and Adam had to take part in those fights, but they always tried to find time to be together. Until one day they had to face each other among with other angels and demons. In the midst of the chaos filled with blood and sweat, their weapons met and the shock was evident on the faces of both.
They had to make a decision because time was short and steps had to be made to finish the fight they were in the middle of. What do you do when faced with your love in such a situation? Would you kill them in the name of the greater good? The purpose of your kind to grant victory for your brothers and sisters? Or would you drop your weapon and turn your back to it all? It’s a though decision, isn’t it?
For a long moment Adam and Tommy looked at each other. What they saw in the other’s eyes could’ve filled volumes and the second they broke eye-contact, the decision was made.
They chose the second option and refused to fight each other. They locked hands and flew away, leaving the shocked companions behind. They flew until their wings couldn’t carry them anymore and they took shelter in an abandoned factory building and curled up on an old and dusty mattress they found. It didn’t matter where they were. The only thing that did matter was that they chose each other. They chose love over hate and blood. They chose what they believed was right. Because no matter where they came from or to what race they were born, that pure love they shared had to be right and just as good as any love in the world.
With that thought they drifted off, their wings covering and caressing them in a cocoon of safety and love.
But soon Tommy woke in pain and agony, startling Adam.
“What is it? Tommy, what’s going on?” he asked worried, trying to touch him, but a beam of blinding light coming from above burned his hand and pushed the demon back a few feet. Then Tommy’s painful scream made all his hair on his body stand on end.
“NO!” the blonde managed to utter before another scream and the light engulfed him completely. It lit the whole building and Adam had to shield himself with his wings as it was burning him again. The room was getting filled by the stench of burning flesh, but it wasn’t just his. He was panicking as he tried to take a peek from behind his wing, he tried to get closer, but he couldn’t. He was glued to the spot and could only listen to the earth-shattering screams of his love.
“No… please don’t! Please don’t take him away. Please, I beg you! Please don’t hurt him! Please! Please!” he sobbed over and over again, offering himself instead, but the light kept Tommy captive a few more seconds before suddenly disappearing completely.
The darkness was so thick after the blinding brightness that even Adam’s demon eyes needed a few seconds to adjust. When he looked over the spot they slept earlier, he saw Tommy’s kneeling figure slowly fall on his side.
Adam ran to him as fast as he could, his leather-wings flapping worried behind him. The blonde’s hair was matted by blood, his pale skin dirty with ash and his back one big bloody wound where… where his beautiful wings used to be. Adam didn’t know what to do and then realized that Tommy was sobbing quietly from the pain and his loss. Adam’s eyes rounded when it registered in his mind that his senses were already telling him: he was holding a fallen angel in his arms. A human.
“Make it go away… It hurts so much. Make it… go… away…” he whined with closed eyes as he was holding on to Adam as tight as his mortal hands could.
“Shhh, baby. I’m here. I’m right here. I’m gonna make it go away,” he whispered hoarsely, fighting with his own tears from the injustice that was done to his angel only because he dared to love the wrong man. He held his free hand above the still bleeding back and murmured on the ancient demonic language of his. A small amount of his black fire covered the injured back to close the wounds and heal them as much as he could. When he pulled his hand back, two round scars were left on Tommy’s skin where his wings used to connect to his shoulder-blades. “I’m so sorry, my love. So sorry. It’s my fault. I’m sorry I let this happen to you… Your beautiful wings…” he whispered, hot tears dropping into Tommy’s hair as he was holding him as tight as he dared, his black wings carefully wrapping around them.
“When all the demons come alive
I’ll still be under your spell,
This could be heaven or hell…”
“I want to do it. For you. For us. If you still want me,” Adam said softly as they were sitting back by the waterfall where they’d first met which felt like eons ago.
“I can’t ask this from you. I can’t let you do this,” Tommy shook his head as he was sitting sideways on Adam’s lap. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a loose hoodie, while Adam had a pair of his usual leather-pants and black shirts on, his wings resting motionlessly behind him. “It’s who you are.”
“I don’t want to stay like this. I want to be with you. No matter what. Unless you’ve changed your mind about us. If you did, tell me now, Tommy. Please,” he whispered, the possibility making him choke on the rest of what he wanted to say.
“No, not at all. I still love you, Adam. More than anything,” he protested, quickly sliding his hand in his much bigger one. “I just… being human… it hurts so much even when you don’t have actual wounds. It’s so… different with all these additional feelings and stuff I don’t even have words for yet. I can’t ask you to choose this for the rest of your life. And it’d be a much shorter life. You’d be mortal too… You wouldn’t be able to fly ever again,” he shook his head bitterly and Adam knew he was thinking about the wings he’d lost not so long ago.
“I want to become human so I can live a full life with you, Tommy. Far from all the fighting. We could turn a blind eye on the battle between the two sides. We could build a life together,” he rubbed the back if his hand with his thumb. “I don’t care about anything else but you. Besides we can always fly on planes or jump out with those parachute things. We could figure out all these things together. I won’t leave you just because you lost your wings and became human.”
“But you loved my wings about me so much. You’ve told me before,” Tommy looked up at him and his eyes were wet with unshed tears, his lips lightly quivering.
“Oh baby… I did and will always love your wings, but I love you more,” he squeezed his hand and cupped his face with his other. “You are just as beautiful to me as you were the moment I set my eyes on you for the very first time. And no one can keep me from you,” he whispered and wiped a tear off Tommy’s cheek just to kiss away another. “I love you Tommy Joe. You’ve shown me how to love, how to become myself. You are my beam of light.”
“Oh shut up and kiss me already,” he chuckled weakly, feeling more hot tears sliding down his face as his demon obeyed. “I love you and your wings too, you know,” he whispered, running his free hand on the warm leather. It felt softer to the touch than one would imagine. Tommy put his head on Adam’s shoulder and kept caressing them gently. “Looks like dragon wings…”
Adam bit his lip from the strokes and put his arms around Tommy tightly. It wasn’t easy to make this decision, but he was certain that he wanted this if it meant they could be together. “Might be a good theme for next Halloween. Or maybe we could go as angel and demon,” he murmured and kissed into Tommy’s hair, inhaling the familiar scent that barely changed since he became human. The blonde just chuckled shortly then sighed. “Come on, baby. Let me take you for one last ride, hm?” he easily stood up with Tommy in his arms, ignoring his light squeak of surprise.
The next moment the huge leather-wings extended behind him and pushed them off the ground for one last round between the clouds.
Adam tossed his head back, glitter flying everywhere as he was moving his foot to the rhythm. The screams of the audience filled his ears and made him grin wide. He rolled his hips and moved with his dancers. When the dancing part was done he roared into the mic, his voice filling the concert hall like magic. He continued singing with ease and with such fire that usually made a few people from the audience faint by the end of the set.
But he did it all for one person.
He turned his back to the audience and strutted over to one blonde bass player. He grinned at Tommy before stealing his lips for a sensual kiss. Of course it drove the fans crazy. It always did. They called it “fan service,” but it was so much more than that to them. It was their secret though. A secret about coming over the difficulties of being human after the past they had. Discovering life on this plane, in what they were good as mortals, building a life from scratch and becoming successful like this. Those kisses were victory kisses too, making their love stronger each night.
Against all odds, together they managed to reach the stars even without their wings.