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S.M.A. & U-girl - Catharsis
S.M.A. & U-girl - Catharsis : Chapter 15

Chapter 15

  2018.11.04. 09:22


Chapter 15

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" the archangel Gabriel looked at his twin brother with a serious look in his dark brown eyes, stroking along his goatee as the light wind ruffled some of his longer dark curls.

Although he loved his brother dearly and have been helping him in their grand plan, this step evoked some uncertain feelings in him. Because if they proceed with this part of the plan, there would really be no turning back...


Gabriel and Michael

"Nothing else makes humans use virtues and be glorious than mass tragedy. You know that too, my brother…" Michael turned to look back at Gabriel with a serious face. But his eyes were soft and loving as he noticed the pinch of sadness in his twin's eyes. "You could see already... I know..." the slightly shorter archangel turned fully and put his right hand on the other's shoulder, squeezing it and smiled. "I know you always loved them. Even got dangerously close to trying to protect them like our older brother, the Son of the Morning… But you know how every flock needs to be rid of the weak and diseased. They are too many and lost the faith and order they should live by. We are the good shepherds, cleansing them so the fewer may be stronger again…"

"Yes, I've seen it more than once," Gabriel nodded, lifting his arm to put his hand on Michael's on his own shoulder. "You are right, of course. I am just not sure that... we can predict just how much chaos we would unleash on Earth with opening the gate for those creatures. The remaining humanity will fight to survive. I just... doubt that they will be prepared for what might come through. What if we can't handle it either?" he hummed, lost in his thoughts. 

He never doubted their powers before. He knew they were strong – especially together. And indeed, he used to live among humans many times in the past and even liked some aspects of that way of living. But what if they were aiming too high this time?

"I'm just worried about you, brother. I don't want to lose you," he added, his expression softening a bit too.

"Gabriel... You will never lose me. I’d do anything in my power to keep you close to me," Michael suddenly pulled his brother into his arms and hugged him strong. Gripping into the other one's shirt, hiding his face at the crook of his neck. The memories of how it felt to be alone in the darkness after he was created creeped back strongly into him. Only his twin light, Gabriel who was created at the very same time was with him. His voice calming him… And after the break of the worlds when they had lost each other for longer periods... "Promise me... Promise you will never leave me again for them..." he whispered.

With a deep sigh Gabriel put his arms around his twin too and stroked his slightly longer brown hair. "I promise I won't leave you to live with the humans again," he said, carefully choosing his words before pressing a kiss into the other's hair. "You are my other half and I love you more than anyone else. I'm sorry I've left you on your own so many times," he murmured, still caressing his brother.

"I want to make this world a better place with you. I just hope that there'll be enough left of it from which we could create a new one. We have to be careful, brother. Our plan will come to light soon – if it hasn’t already. Our enemies are growing in number too. There are rumors of a Nephilim on the rise..." he warned Michael and pulled back enough so he could take his brother's face between his hands, his eyes becoming deadly serious and maybe a bit pleading. "I need you to promise something for me too... Don't do anything too reckless or impulsive that would endanger your life. Please."

 "I promise, brother," Michael held the hands on his face and smiled back bright at his twin. Gabriel's words made him feel light and the warmth spread inside him. He needed that. To have the reassurance of their plan and bond. To know he won't be alone and feel unwanted. "We must get moving... As you said, more started to know about us and they are taking steps too," he said gently pulling back from Gabriel, skipping the Nephilim topic for now. The possibility of that gossip being true unnerved him deeply.

Letting his brother go after a thankful nod for the promise, Gabriel flashed a short knowing smile at him. Of course, he could sense his twin's worries, but this time didn't address them. He knew that Nephilim could cause a lot of problems in the near future and they would have to quickly find a solution to that. For now, they couldn't agree on what to do with that, but their attention was turned more towards the Japanese Gate at the moment.

"Yes, we can deal with the rest a bit later," he murmured just that and spread his massive dark-grey wings, standing at the ledge of the burned-out bell tower where they've been holed up for a couple of hours. Then with one last look at his brother, Gabriel leaped off the ledge and began flying east.

***

Meanwhile at a more peaceful part of the Earth Paolo was sitting on the edge of a cliff facing the ocean.

The past few days of practice with Jim were spent in a good mood between them. Even if it was clear for them both that it was hard, and was going to be even harder to resist the pull of the mating bond. It was funny for him how they both insisted on gripping onto their love for others and suffering for something they will never have, yet they were denying something right in their very core toward each other that would make them balanced and happy...

"Maybe after a while this dimension turns everyone into mere humans with stupid ways..." he murmured under his nose and stood up with a sigh.

"Why would you say such a thing?" the guardian could suddenly hear from behind as Jim just landed a few steps away, folding his chestnut-colored leather wings behind him. With all the practice recently, he could use them easier by then. And deep down loved them even more than before. Now he saw them as another proof of Corey being with him. Truth be told, when no one was around, he sometimes caressed them as if he would caress his love. It always helped his aching heart and soul a bit.

The last couple of days were indeed eventful and now his bones and muscles were a bit aching not from the transformation but all the physical exercise that came with the training he did with Paolo then with Seth too.

Now he was here to learn from the bald guardian again as the gods were busy with something else. That day's topic would be about meditation and learning how to rein in his still leaking and swirling new powers. Maybe even learning how to hide his presence a bit better too.

"Oh... Hi..." Paolo turned around and shrugged. "I think after a long time this dimension effects every creature. And somehow makes them think and feel like humans. It's just a thought. So... how are you today?" he asked quickly collecting himself.

"Hi. Hmm..." Jim stroked down on his beard, getting lost in his thoughts for a moment – and putting some firmer grip on his control around Paolo. Which had to be done more and more as they were spending quite some time together nowadays. But Jim came here counting on that pull of their unfulfilled bond. "You can be right. After all this is the realm or dimension of humans. All the other creatures are just... kinda... intruders, I guess."

"I'm... maybe a little bit better. Learning some new ways of fighting from Seth. Yesterday tired me out and could more or less sleep through the night without getting myself shitfaced," he said truthfully, knowing that Paolo wouldn't be satisfied with just an "I'm fine" kind of answer. "You? How are things with the mates?" he asked about them so openly like this for the first time although Jim knew well just how close Paolo was to them – especially to King.

"I'm glad to hear you could sleep better. I'm okay. The mates will leave soon for a special mission. Brent moved out so the place will be all mine... Must throw a huge perverse party or something," he smiled and winked slowly getting back to his more naughty and playful self. "So… Meditation. What do you already know about it?"

"I see..." Jim hummed and put his hands into his jeans' front pockets as he looked down at the much shorter angel. "So..." he cleared his throat, trying to find the right words "... this means you won't go with them..." he stated the kinda obvious and maybe even blushed a tiny bit as he could read between the lines. It was probably because of Jim and their... bond. Or at least it was probably one of the reasons.

"I'm sure your kinky angel brother would attend that party and probably drag Mick or some others along too," Jim chuckled a bit in an attempt to cover his slight embarrassment.

Instead he cleared his throat again and decided to sit down into the grass where he was and focus on the task at hand. "I know what meditation is supposed to do to you. Quieting your mind, getting more in tune with yourself and shit. I tried it in the past before when I thought that I was going crazy from the things I used to see ever since I was a kid. But drugs and alcohol seemed to do a better job..." he hinted at his darker past a bit.

"Yeah… Well, brother Vega is very much occupied with Mick. Even the gods allowed them to be together. So your guard has... a boyfriend," Paolo giggled and sat down too. "And those things always help faster. But in the end are not that permanent to rest your mind and spirit. So... at first it's really about focusing inside instead of outside."

"Oh... how nice. Mick deserves someone. He's been helping a lot. I still owe him one for keeping an eye on me after..." Jim trailed off and rather took a deep breath, slightly shaking his head. "Okay... so... Focusing inside. Okay," he repeated and got into a more comfortable position, closing his eyes. "I know the basics but I'll need your guidance for sure," he murmured and started concentrating on emptying his mind – which was always the tricky part for him – and focusing on his breathing.

"That's why I am here," Paolo smiled watching Jim. The big man surely has changed. The angel even would risk it to say that Jim got taller... But definitely a bit more confident and had a straighter posture and more self-assurance was radiating from him since the transmutation.

"Just focus on your breathing first. The sound of it, how your body moves from the inhale and exhale. It doesn’t have to be totally quiet. But learning these will help with focusing your powers more effectively too. Just to aim your attention to one point or thing," Paolo explained thinking that maybe such practices would be more fitting to Jim.

For a few moments Jim could feel Paolo's eyes on him (and would have sworn that he felt his smile a bit too), but then he closed that out and tried to focus on his breathing more as the angel suggested. Humming in agreement about the focusing his powers better thing, he let his mind slowly start to calm down as he inhaled and exhaled steadily for a couple of minutes.

Slowly his focus shifted on the muscles in his body and flexed then released the tension in them, starting from his legs and going upwards until the very top of his head. As he did so, his swirling energies seemed to slow down too and eventually transformed into a steady light green, barely visible hue around his physical body.

"Good. Now you're relaxed. And honestly that is enough. Because the deep mind state meditation is difficult and different and need much practice. For you, this calmer state of mind is enough to help you get a hold on your powers more. And lead your skills with your will, not your emotions that you can't control. Try to concentrate your force into a ball on your palm. Open your eyes, Jim," Paolo smiled as he explained. The Nephilim learned fast, and he was very impressed by it.

Exhaling slowly and long, Jim tried to follow Paolo's suggestion and store the information shared with him. Focusing on channeling his force into his left palm, he slowly opened his slightly glowing mismatched eyes when he felt his palm warming up.

"Nice..." he murmured under his bushy mustache and even smiled a bit in a dreamy way. Practicing with Paolo like this reminded him a bit of the time he did so with his love in that pocket dimension called Sanctuary. Though of course this was different, it was still a nice and a bit bittersweet memory.

Moving his long fingers a bit, he watched the more visible green ball of energy getting a bit denser. "Let me guess... I could throw this against an enemy to hurt them?"

"Yeah, that is pretty basic to supernatural beings who can control their aura," Paolo laughed. "Texts say that you could also shield someone by throwing it at them... Meaning it is a protective or a preventing way, too, of course. Did Seth show you those scrolls about the first immortals?"

Paolo laughing was something Jim seemed to find pleasant, he realized. With a little smile of his own, he nodded. "I think the protecting version will go as well. I mean, you know, I can pull up a protective shield and also use shock-waves," he shrugged and closed his fingers around the energies, which dissolved (or rather flowed back into him).

"No, he hasn’t shown them to me yet," Jim shook his head and ran his fingers through his wavy hair. It was getting longer again, but he kinda liked it this way too and thought he would keep it like that for a while. "But if you ask about them then I guess it would be important for me to see them. Obviously," he chuckled shortly.

"Anyways..." he looked a bit deeper into the guardian's warm brown eyes. "I owe an apology and also a thank you for you... For not giving up on wanting to help healing me... I know I probably hurt you..." he said, his cheeks coloring a bit. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Jim. I was... am the one who probably understands the most how hard it is all for you. And I'm not the giving up type anyway," Paolo returned the deep gaze with a smile. The slightly blushing big man was just precious...

"The scrolls are like... many versions of one story. You see, most of this library is what was saved from the Christians before they demolished Alexandria. They asked travelers and people of different cultures to write their stories down and what they know about some topics. It's a good way to get an overall idea and view on one topic from many sides and how it is interpreted in many different cultures. The truth is in the common parts. So... the Gods always preserved knowledge, and they have those scrolls here that tells about your kind and skills and stories and myths. I thought Seth has already shown them. I think it will help you find your roots... or something... An explanation and validation of what you are," the guardian said seriously, trying to help on his pair with his new life.

"Thank you... for understanding. I have to admit that I swore to my Corey that I wouldn't hurt you for real. He knew I would struggle after... And I am. I know that and I'm sure you can feel it too. It's not an easy situation. With you being in love with King and also loving Matt... and me loving Corey..." he murmured quietly. "By the way... how are things with that mated pair? Do they hate me very much? I can feel Matt is pissed at me," he snorted a bit.

"The scrolls sound awesome. I'm sure Seth will show them to me when I'm ready. So far I wasn't as I was too lost in my sorrow... Maybe I'll ask him about the scrolls later today when I meet him up. Thank you for the info about them... You are too kind and patient with me," he chuckled a bit, stroking down his beard in his slight embarrassment.

"I've existed long enough to know how difficult it is to have a new life to adjust to all of a sudden. I'm a guardian angel, so patience is my thing," he winked and laughed short to ease up the situation. And to gather some of his mind...

"Well... Matt is very protective at times. And yes, he is a bit pissed but it's more his... hard-headed being than real hate. King understands," Paolo smiled and blushed slightly. "Yes, I am in love with him and he knows it. As he is paired up with Matt I let that go. Well... I let go the hope and thought of having him as my own. Still I can share their bed, so I'm not complaining. Time will tell how things will turn out in the end."

"Are all angels so naughty like you and Kerim?" Jim finally laughed wholeheartedly. "Sorry, I just had to ask... Anyways, maybe Matt will calm down and I'm glad that King understands and they accept you...." he said then paused for a moment, trying to collect his own thoughts too.

"I have to ask you though... What do you expect of me and our bond? Because frankly... at the moment I'm not sure I can offer you much. And maybe even with time all I will be able to offer you will be just... some sort of friendship. I don't know... It's just... as you said, too much in this new life. Even if I can feel the pull of the bond between us and... I enjoy spending time with you," he confessed what has been on his mind for a while, his cheeks turning a bit redder.

"Hmm... No... not really... Most angels are very stuck up... so to say… Kerim is very, very curious and drawn to the darkness. And I was sold by my mother to a bathhouse. You met the shamans... They were my bosses and I was the most loved hooker there," the bald man bit his lip and shrugged, keeping his eyes on Jim to catch his reactions for what he just revealed.

"I enjoy spending time with you too, Jim. And the bond has the same effect on me. Makes me notice small features of you to my liking and things like that. But as I said, I respect your love for Corey. And your decision. Just like with King. A friendship is very much appreciated, thank you."

"Hm... makes sense about Kerim as he was born from light... Opposites attract and all that shit..." Jim mused then his eyes widened a bit hearing about Paolo's past. "Wow. Didn't expect that about you.... But good to know..." he cleared his throat, concentrating on not trying to immediately imagine the small guy in such... situations. But indeed, Jim looked at him a bit... differently. Though not in the wrong way. There was nearly something resembling awe or admiration in his now simply hazel eyes.

"Yeah... Same here 'bout the bond... And I respect your love for King and his pair too. Like I said before. I'm sorry. You probably expected more from your real mate..." he dropped his eyes, fidgeting a bit as he thought into Paolo's situation a bit more. He knew the guardian has been in love with King for years but the son of Lucifer eventually mated with someone else, practically denying the possibility of King becoming his own. And now the Universe had blessed the poor guy with the messed-up Jim who also loved another. It must break Paolo's heart and it made Jim feel a bit bad about himself.

"We'll probably see how things form..." he finally sighed, rubbing his slightly damp palms into his jeans.

"No, please don't do that to yourself..." Paolo frowned and reached for Jim's hand to make him look up at him again. "Please don't feel bad about how you feel. If you're not honest with your pair then everything is pointless. A faked relationship and emotions are more human characteristics. Nothing is wrong. I stay the best whore of the dimension and enjoy what I can get," he laughed a little, still absently holding the big hand in his.

Jim looked up the second the guardian angel touched his hand. It left a nice tingling feeling under his skin, but he expected that. After all they were mates, neither of them could deny that.

With a long sigh he eventually nodded. "Sorry. I lived my life hiding my true feelings from others and often from myself too. I am more open now thanks to my Corey, but I'm still trying to kick off the old habits," he said quietly but sent a reassuring smile at Paolo and even went as far as to properly take his smaller hand in his. He too was reluctant to let it go.

Paolo felt his cheek warm up from the way Jim was holding his hand. He could feel the powers of the Nephilim climbing up on his arm and trying to melt away his stubborn self-confidence. It was his shield to avoid feeling certain emotions that would crumble down his walls and the picture of him as the naughty giggling angel.,. Yes, his mate and the bond wanted him to feel...

"It's really okay... Would you try to practice more how to hide your presence before you go to Seth?" he asked trying to smile careless and to change the topic. He even went ahead more and stood up, pulling Jim to his feet too by his hand and spread his golden wings. "I go around a bit. Surprise me with where you hide," he flashed a playful smile and took off in the air to close the forming scene.

***

Hours later Jim was still thinking about the scene by the cliff and he was confused. Naturally the bond wanted them to get close, but the mourning side of Jim which was still very much in love with Corey refused that. But strangely there was something else that would urge him for the former too and it baffled Jim. And it only made more questions pop up in his mind. But maybe Seth would be able to clear some things up for him.

It took him a few minutes to find the god in the massive library, especially because Seth was probably already testing him with nearly fully hiding his otherwise strong godly presence. But Jim could still feel it faintly.

The long dark-haired god was sitting by a long and beautiful black and gold Egyptian desk which looked lithe but was clearly strong holding all kinds of codices, books and scrolls. There was even an elegant wine chalice near him as he kept sipping red wine from a glass.

"And here you are! Greetings, Jim. How was your date?" the God of Darkness flashed his usual predatory grin at the man, sipping from the wine. "I mean… the training with Paolo. I know you have questions too," he added watching Jim taking a seat.

His eyes have been following the Nephilim, of course. They had to make sure he was okay and to know where he stood. The past period has been a tricky one for even the gods. Having such a creature inside their barriers. And not knowing how much the pain he endured would trigger his powers and skills, or if he would use that in the blind suffering against them all... But it seemed Jim was slowly finding his balance… "Speak up then," he said even waving with his hand to encourage the speech.

By then Jim got used to this god's theatricality and even found it amusing – though he had to stop himself this time from rolling his eyes at him. So he simply just leaned back in his chair.

"Greetings, Seth," Jim said with a small smile of his own. "Alright. So my first question is... Are you going to offer some of that wine to your guest or not?" he asked with a serious face, but his eyes were sparkling with some mischief – one even flashing up in blue for a few moments. "By the way, I could sense your presence," he added, playing with a hairband between his fingers.

"Of course you know about the practice. I sensed your little animal spies too," he said on a matter-of-fact tone, not bragging. "So you know the practice went relatively well. The bond is strengthening too. We both know. And there's something else... Something else that urges me to stop being an ass and go for it. It sounds awfully a lot like my Corey... It's really him, isn't it? From within..."

"Hmm…" Seth smirked as his small dark eyes shined up playfully. This more daring and direct Jim was very much to his liking. "So, you're my guest now. Good... good... In that case, my apologies," he waved and another chalice appeared filled with sweet strong Greek red wine right before Jim at the table. "Yammas!" he raised his own to sip from.

"And yes. Corey didn't die or vanished. He merged into you. Of course, you remember that his kind was more energy than a physically formed organization. He fused his powers with yours, helping to complete your transmutation and to awake your sleeping abilities and powers. And he still exists inside you. And yes. I can imagine him pushing you in your subconscious to open up and go on with your life and fate. Paolo is... very skilled, you know…" he grinned like a hungry jackal again.

"Thank you. Cheers to you too!" Jim said and leaned forward to pour himself some wine before tasting it. "Delicious," he added, keeping his eyes on the god before smacking his lips together and putting his glass down.

"If you mean Paolo's past as a hooker, I know he must be very skilled, yes..." he now rolled his eyes indeed, although he still found that fact alluring. "But anyway... speaking of my Corey... Does this mean there's a way to reach him in me? To communicate? Like in a deep meditation? Does he have a... consciousness? Or as you said he's more energy again? Like instinctual energy?" he asked curiously and obviously hopeful.

"Hmm... You like the idea of him in various poses, occupied to serve…" Seth licked his lips and with a slow movement placed the cup down and put his fingertips together, his naughty smile piercing into Jim's very core.

"Corey is more energy again. As you said, a guiding force within you. What consciousness he has as that being is fueled and kept because of the love and worry he had towards you. I think it would only be... like... awake when it is an emergency or something. Trauma or high danger to make that worry trigger and bring his remaining consciousness forth to help you," Seth said trailing off, like thinking out loud while analyzing what he was feeling from Jim and his new energies.

Jim cleared his throat and maybe blushed a bit too, but he didn't try to hide behind his longer hair. "Well... obviously. As a biker I had many male hookers so I have a few ideas, yeah. Though... I don't look at him as a hooker. He is... much more and... I owe him just as much as I owe you all. I apologize for my previous behavior and I'd like to thank you and the other gods too for all your help. I feel like I haven't appreciated all that enough before. Now I see clearer..." he said honestly, letting the god examine him. He had nothing to hide.

"And... it makes sense what you just said about my demon..." he picked up his glass again and swirled the wine in it while getting lost in his thoughts and memories. "I heard him clearly the first time when I... nearly... pulled the trigger," he frowned, not proud of that moment at all. "He stopped me and that was when I could feel him in me clearly. That's when I knew for sure he hasn't fully left. Just... transformed. Though, I'll probably always be a bit pissed at him for doing this without my consent and this way. Even if I know and understand why he did it..." he glimpsed back at Seth again then emptied his glass just to refill it with the sweet wine.

"It's okay, Jim. We understand very well what you had to go through," Seth nodded and refilled his cup too. "He did what he existed for. To help you. And he will keep on helping you. And as I said... don't be surprised if he pushes you towards having a life and love and fun in it more than to let you mourn forever," he said raising his cup before drinking from it. His previous naughty side ebbed down as he was truly trying to give a helpful explanation to Jim to help him move on.

"You all are so understanding," he chuckled a bit but his look and nod was grateful and raised his glass to the god too before drinking some more. "I figured he would want that..." he continued after a sigh. "And I'll probably get there too, just... not so soon. But I'm feeling a bit... better knowing that he's with me. Now I believe I can get through this. He and you all give me hope," he blushed a bit, still not used to being so open with others.

"Also... there's something I would like to propose... or ask from you if it's possible... I was left with the Blade of the Immortals and been practicing a bit with it with Paolo too... He mentioned some scrolls about the Nephilim. Could I see them some time? I would like to know more about my kind. And... the other thing I was left with on that day was Corey's mask. I would like to carry that with me too, not just the sword.... So my question is... could you create a mask fitting to my personality with making Corey's mask a part of it?"

"That's an interesting task. And may not be possible in this dimension. Will have to consult with Sotiris on that," Seth hummed with a frown. "But the idea is very good. Mick is your guardian now. I hope you know and accepted that. What battles you may have to face, he must be there with you. He has his own mask from his Mercy life, I suppose. The news of a Nephilim rising again is spreading fast. It would be beneficial to hide your face, and his too. And I get the scrolls ready for you, gathered to one study. You must know, though... not all of your kind led a heroic life. When they started to get more mixed with humans and were infected by human ways, some used their powers to gain personal wealth. Or just use the hunger to learn more in their nature to explore the darkness within. Going too deep and turning into more a menace than a God-sent savior. Nothing is set in stone. In the texts you will find examples to all aspects."

"Thank you in advance for taking the time looking into it. Even if it's not possible. Then I'll figure out some other way to carry his mask with me. But yes, I know and accepted Mick as my guardian, even if it wasn't said out loud between us. He looked after me too when I was... down. The mask idea came partially from that practical purpose too, to hide my identity as much as possible. As I said, I know firsthand how crazy things are out there already. And I expect things to escalate in the near future. I can... feel it already..." he mused then listened to Seth intently.

"I expected that not all of my kind had a heroic life. There were moments in the recent days when I was tempted by that darkness within too. Though I guess not as much as some in those scrolls. Anyway, thank you again. I'm looking forward to read about their lives. To see what to expect and learn about my roots."

"I think it will be possible. Just elsewhere," Seth smirked again. "And it would need my two other halves too," he hummed finishing up the wine in his cup. "I cannot express my gratitude for you and your Corey for not turning towards that darkness. You kinda grew close to my black heart…"

The God looked away and adjusted his hair to lay perfectly on his left ear, then pulled on his sleeves’ ends before looking up at Jim again. "From tomorrow you can freely research your roots, Mr. Root," he smirked again. "Now, if you excuse me... must consult with my pairs," he nodded with his head and the next moment vanished in some dark fog, leaving Jim to his thoughts.

Next chapter

 
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