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Chapter 25
2009.08.12. 14:48
25.
And Dave went on – he found his way back into me. He barely could hold back and seeing Mart’s and my face as we were racing towards pleasure, he buried his satisfied face between my breasts as he was panting heavily. Even my prancing couldn’t turn Martin on that much as seeing Dave riding out his pure pleasure. Dave pushed into me a few more times then he put his shaking fingers onto my clit, waiting me to follow him, but after a few rubs I managed to let the armrest and his shoulder go and grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“No… first Mart…” I moaned hoarsely “First he too…” I let my head fall back onto Martin’s shoulder and I moved my hips to a pose, which allowed Mart to penetrate deeper into me. I bit my lips until I draw blood as I was trying hard not to moan. All of my veins on my neck were sticking out. Well I didn’t have to wait for Mart’s climax for too long and Dave hadn’t taken my advise – although I stopped his hand, I couldn’t do the same with his tongue.
“Oh my god…” I hissed nearly in agony after I looked down at Dave and let my head fall back onto Martin’s shoulder, who was still moving inside of me hard, near to his own release too, moaning loudly into my ear. Dave was licking my clit passionately, but I held back willingly – first I wanted to let Martin have his orgasm and he was right there. After a few deep thrusts he released loudly into me, forcing out a suppressed hiss from between my lips. My throat was dry, but I didn’t care. I grabbed Dave’s hair wildly and led him deep down to help a bit. And he was doing his job tirelessly – he even breathed just when he really had to. Finally my body, which was pressed against Mart’s, gave in and I screamed out loud, panting hardly as the pleasure came, and it didn’t matter that after it I coughed badly. Who cares about some acute pneumonia when Martin Gore was proving me his burning love from the back and Dave Gahan from the front?
Martin slid out of me and they let me cough and pant while I still felt the orgasm’s waves in my body. Martin pulled me onto his lap and embraced me while Dave put the blanket around us then started dressing up. I felt Martin’s safe and warm embrace and my shivering body started easing off after all these pleasures.
“You’re the best method for a cold, nine fans of ten recommend you two” I told them between two quiet rattle. It was strange as I inhaled – the air was rasping as it went in and out of my lungs, just like opening and closing a rusty door. Dave laughed, buttoning his trousers but Martin was touching my face with worry in his eyes.
“Your forehead is burning again…”
“From you!” I smiled and I felt a bit dizzy “It’s so nice and warm in your lap Marty. Hug me more! Let me… feel myself in safety!” I added on a hoarse tone and with hissing lungs.
“Alright dear Mia, but now you drink from your water and take your pills.”
“No, I don’t need any pills! Why should I take them? You’re enough for me!” I protested sleepily, feeling still dizzy.
Mart looked at me worried “You don’t want to go right into the hospital when we arrive to Copenhagen, do you? You’d rather sleep between us on a king-sized bed, right?”
“That’d be nice, Marty!”
“Then be a good girl and take these” he shook the pills into my hand.
“Dave, is here anywhere some ice tea?”
“Sure, kitty, sure, just drink it” he gave me a full glass.
Those distasteful pills were hard to swallow, cuz my throat was dry and I wanted to cough, but at the end they went down and I felt myself even more tired from them.
“I think… I’ll… fall asleep” I whispered quietly.
“That’s good, kitty” Martin kissed my forehead then let me put my head onto his chest, while he embraced me tighter to him, covering every part of my body with the blanket. “Just rest. We’ll be here.”
I smiled half asleep and grabbed one of his arms under the blanket “Sounds great.”
---
It was cold in Copenhagen but at least the sun was shining. The boys took me into the hotel right away and put me into bed in Marty’s room. Dave came in and said to us in a low tone that now we won’t see him for two days.
“Your family is coming, right?”
“Uh-uh, they’ve just called. I go now, I have to switch from lover mode to husband and dad mode.”
“Hey, take care!” I whispered hoarsely with a small smile on my face.
“I should say that to you” he squeezed my hand then walked out of the room. Martin followed his disappearing figure deep in thoughts.
“What’s the matter?” I whispered lying in his bed.
“Well it won’t be easy for him playing the angel” he murmured.
I sighed which made me cough again, but I managed to stop it.
“Okay then, now I’ll make you drink this whole jug of hot tea and you’ll take your pills then we’ll have a nice and long sleep.”
“Can’t we…?” I asked, putting my hand on his knee, but he interrupted me and stopped my hand.
“No, we can’t. Until you’re healthy there’s no sex – we’d agreed on this with Dave.”
“What?!” I sat up surprised.
“It’s simple – there’ll be the concert the day after tomorrow, it was postponed because of some fire and it’ll be held in another arena, so you’ll have one extra day to get well. And then you’ll sing for us. But we won’t ruin everything with some fun. There’ll be romance tonight – I’ve ordered dinner with candlelight here and we’ll talk like lovers do.”
“Wow Martin, this is great! You can do such things too?”
“Sure. I’m a romantic guy deep inside – you know the hard outside hides a sensitive soul here.”
“I know, you write the most beautiful love songs in the world.”
“Thank you kitty, this felt good.”
“Anytime Martin, you know that I love you.”
“Really? You love me as much as you love David?”
“Of course” I nuzzled to him and started caressing him “You thought I don’t?”
“Well… he’s the charming one, and I just detract from my reputation with making you drunk and being jealous about you two with no reason.”
“Is this still bothering you?”
“It was close… and because of me…”
“No. Everybody is responsible for their own actions. It was my decision. You’re worried about Dave, right? You watched him walking out as if…”
“As if?”
“As if you was afraid that… he won’t ever come back. That Jen’ll take him away and he’ll not return. But don’t worry, he loves you too – he even said it today in the car.”
“It’s just that… how should I say it…. He shows it rarely. He always hides behind his sleaziness – or at least quite often.”
“And you bolt yourself in and you prove yourself to be a cold iceberg.”
“Really? Is it this obvious?”
“Yes. When you’d ordered me those drinks, you’d been cold to me too. You’d scared me” my hand stopped on his chest, which I was stroking until that moment.
“Oh, please don’t be mad at me. Sometimes I’m incredibly stupid and I’m grateful that despite all of this you’ve never said that I should stop drinking. Believe me, I’d do it, but it’s not just because of the physical addiction but of the spiritual one too.”
“You can’t handle your painful and worried emotions and you rather drink to ease them, right?”
“Something like that. Not everyone is as strong as that… Jeez, why isn’t he here?”
“Relax, Mart, he’ll come back. He’ll be just with his family for a couple of days. Am I not enough for you until then?” I pouted.
“You are of course” he caressed my face “I’ll cure you meanwhile and you’ll be better than your old self.”
I smiled and looked into his eyes for a moment then I put my head back onto his chest and I went on with drawing little circles with my fingers there.
“Martin…”
“Yes?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t, but… can I ask you… why you’ve got divorced?” I whispered.
“Or rather Suzanne. I was stupid and she couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I see. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked” I whispered resting my hand on his tummy.
“No problem. Women don’t like it when they must do everything around their family – including their husband, who’s drinking hard and can’t handle himself. Whom maybe they still love, but can’t live with. She had no more tears to shed. I can understand her.”
“Martin, love, don’t be this bitter! You’re such a good guy and a great person with some mistakes. I love you.”
“Because you’d never lived with me. I managed to introduce myself a few days ago, didn’t I?”
“Marty even if you scare me, I still love you, I want you to know this” I hugged him harder then swallowed some coughing.
“It’s good to know this. You know Dave can react more quickly, I’m slower. I’m always fighting with myself, with my feelings and does.”
“You wear guilt, like shackles on your feet…”
“Yeah, something like that. Those lyrics aren’t casual.”
“My dearest Martin, do you know that I respect you like a real genie?”
“Couldn’t you respect me as the best lover?”
“Sure I could! Just show me your portfolio!”
“No, no, my dear. You know that until you’re healthy again, we can’t. And by the way I think I’d put enough onto the table, don’t you think?” he caressed my back smiling.
“Well…”
“What?”
“You want to do it on the table? You know, I just can’t get enough. Now there’s just you and me and I love you. I’ll just lie on my back, while you make me yours softly. This time not in a hard way, but in a gentle one.”
“Mia, jeez, come into my arms!”
“This means a yes? Tell me Marty! Tell me it’s a yes! I want you, I love you! Do you need more than this? Please, Marty…” I whispered impatiently as I lay down onto his chest, leaving the sheet “Martyyy…. Pleaseeee….”
“Who am I to resist you?” he moaned a big one as I pressed my body against his and I kissed into his neck “Mia, Mia, you’re just mine now. You taste sweet, do you know?” he licked along my chest. I felt that he loves me and he wants me, but there was real love in his eyes. Those wonderful green eyes! And they say I’m a cat…
I turned my head away when he wanted to kiss me, but not because I didn’t want our lips to touch, but because I didn’t want him see ill too. It was still in question whether they’ll get off the infection or not. But I let him roll me over to my back just to undress me.
“Love me Martin. Love me like you’d never done to me yet! Love me from your soul if you can… Please…” I caressed his face and looked into his eyes.
“I can, honey, I can love you like that. Let yourself go, feel and let me be your leader on your journey.”
I nodded and tried to relax as much as I was able to. I felt his hot breath on the line of my neck, higher behind my ear then in it. One of his hands was resting on my breast – just lingering there – and his other hand was caressing the back of my knee. My eyes closed from his gentle touches. I felt his hand moving up from my breast through my neck to my face, taking and pulling it closer to him. Martin kissed me with such passion as… My thoughts got confused. I tried not to think just enjoy Martin’s love.
He discovered my body – which was a bit hotter from the illness than usually – in a soft way. I sank into my senses. How could this happen? Was this really happening to me? I love them. But not as a fan. I just can’t get enough of them. The situation was both unbelievable and beautiful, calming and unsettling. I felt Mart’s gentle touches, passionate kiss, which’s meaning I couldn’t get yet. It was an overwhelming experience. I felt that I wanted more – much more – from Martin. There was nothing else in the world now. Just Martin, his spirit in me, with me, for me. Then his body moved into mine.
He really loved me tenderly – kissing me where he could. His moves were soft and mindful. He was watching every reaction of mine, and looking nearly all way long into my eyes he opened the green gates so the depths of his eyes could completely suck me in. His gaze was nearly hypnotizing me, and I let him be the Master and I was his young follower. How different he was now that there was just the two of us… He was much more confident and relaxed and passionate. He wasn’t just doing his job, but whispered beautiful things into my ear. Fragments of poems about the wonder of physical and spiritual union. His loving care really moved me. I let myself completely go. I was relaxed and free. The point wasn’t satisfaction – as so much times before – but spirituality. I was caressing him softly while I welcomed his moves. I smiled when I realized that now I could get to know another Martin L. Gore. How many of them could be there inside this man?
I totally forgot Dave as I sank deeper into Martin’s pampering and I whispered back all kinds of things, which came into my mind. He didn’t care that he wasn’t supposed to kiss me – his tongue was playing with mine for long minutes, while we were moving in complete harmony. Although we were far from wild sex we had been playing until now, I felt that I was ready to get lost in the pleasure’s raging wonder. He looked at me smiling – he saw where I was and whispered into my ear not to hold back. I closed my eyes and I let myself to the heavenly journey and on its end the white light was already waiting for me. The loudest sound during our lovemaking was the one which escaped my mouth when my body tensed for a moment and thanks to Martin I could experience consummation in a different way. This orgasm was different that the others – this hadn’t exploded suddenly in my body, but started lifting me higher and higher by degrees as I was clinging to my blonde prince’s shoulders desperately.
I knew that he was smiling. I felt his being – I became one with him – and from his hips’ gentle but steady moves he brought me at the brink of fainting.
I was still far away when after a harder push I’ve heard his hoarse moan too. Then we were just lying there in each others arms. My tears started falling – my heart was aching for Martin. I saw his now peaceful and satisfied face as it was distorted when his bodyguard was carrying him into his room.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered, softly caressing my face when he felt the tears on his face, which he was pressing against my ear. He looked up at me worried, stroking my cheek, trying to wipe away my tears. “Tell me I haven’t offended you or hurt you or something like that, have I?”
The anxiety in his voice and eyes just moved me even more, causing more tears. I choked down another cough and from this he carefully slid out of me and lay down close to me so that his weight wasn’t pressing my chest.
“No… not at all. When would you’ve been able to do harm? You were so gentle, Marty…” I whispered on a still hoarse voice “It’s just that… it’s so…” I couldn’t find the words so I ended it lamely “…good to be with you!” and I hugged him firmly, burying my face into his shoulder.
“Alright Mia, alright” he whispered caressing my back then he gently forced me to look into his eyes. He didn’t say a word, he was just kissing me softly, but now after a minute it came into my mind that this wasn’t a lucky thing to do.
“Martin, no… I infect you!” I pulled away.
“Mia, it doesn’t matter anymore. I was kissing you for an hour…”
“You were kissing me for an hour, oh yes. I can’t get enough. I love you Martin… and…”
“And?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t, but… I’m worried about you.”
His eyes sparkled a little sadly as he gave me a lopsided smile. “Maybe you really shouldn’t…” he caressed my face again then turned onto his side, propping his head in his palm.
“Mart…”
“It’s still because of the booze, isn’t it?”
It was as if I felt some irritation in his voice. “Martin, I don’t…”
He sighed and closed his eyes as he held up one hand, showing me that he’d like it better for me not to speak.
“Please, don’t ruin the moment. Everything was so beautiful until now” he rolled onto his back, looking at the ceiling stiffly.
I cleared my throat “Martin, please don’t close yourself up! Don’t push me away…”
“I don’t push you away.”
“You are… But it doesn’t matter. The point is that I don’t want to change you, I’m just worried about you. You have to see the problem from your own.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said the last sentence, cuz I saw that his muscles stained and he cranked his eyebrows angrily. I had some reason to fear! He suddenly turned to me and I couldn’t help, but Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde came into my mind. There was anger and desperation burning in his eyes. He jumped up and quickly started dressing up. At this time I was crying loud, begging him not to go. Finally I grabbed his arm, but shaking it he broke free and I landed on the floor. I hugged his foot he wanted to lift to take a step.
He looked at me shocked. He was standing there frozen to the spot for a minute then he knelt beside me, hugging me hard and asked in a shaky tone: “You, you love me really this much? Am I really important to you? That much that throwing your pride away you humble yourself for me?”
“I do Mart, I do” I cried loudly.
“Oh god…” he took my teary face between his hands “Oh god, oh god…” he repeated while I sniffled and covered my mouth with my hand, so I could bend my head a bit down and started coughing badly. “How can I be this stupid?” he asked himself and embraced me again as he was kneeling there, pulling my head onto his chest “You really love me! You really love me this much!” As an answer I just grabbed his T-shirt hard, digging my fingers into his skin by his shoulder and back. “Until now… until now I thought that… that truly you love just Dave… cuz he… well yes, he’s Dave Gahan. And that I… I was just like a bonus prize… despite you’ve told me that you love me. I haven’t known that this much… this way…” he confessed me stopping again and again, but there was only one question in my head:
“Martin, tell me… you won’t go! You won’t let me here alone, will you?” I tightened my hug even more.
He didn’t answer. I felt his body shaking without a voice. He was crying. I didn’t find this a sign of weakness. It moved me so deeply that my tears appeared again. I knew that he won’t go. I wouldn’t be able to let him go. The situation was absurd, but this love was just like anyone else’s love in the world. After a while I carefully looked up at him. He was holding his nose-bridge between his index and middle finger and from his closed eyes tears were running down on his cheeks.
“Come” I whispered quietly and hoarsely then we climbed back onto the bed and I put the blanket over us. I was lying right next to him and he bent his head onto my chest. His body was still shaking. I was caressing his shoulder softly until I’d realised that Martin was breathing quietly and peacefully on my chest. He fell asleep. I was thinking about this whole thing. It was really unbelievable what was going on here. But… I was too tired to think. Soon I’ve joined the sleeping Curly.
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