I giggled and embraced him happily. I was glad that he shared this much about himself. He really meant a lot to me – and he was hugging me. I wanted this moment to last forever, but I wasn’t too sad when it came to an end. I knew this was meant to be. I caressed his face once more then I kissed him softly.
“I think it’s time we go now. I bet Martin is sitting on horns now” I smiled at him after he wiped away the two teardrops from my eyes “And I think it’d be great to find a stylist or I don’t know, who can give me some clothes, cuz I think my shirt was torn apart by Martin…”
“Come to my room, I give you a T-shirt and call a dogbody to find something for you.”
“Dave, I can’t go like this.”
“Okay then…” he pulled his T-shirt over his head “Put this on. I bet fewer people’d notice me half-naked than you.”
“Me thinks, you’re wrong” I grinned “Anyhow you’re a bigger show than me.”
“But I won’t go against the law with it. In New York you can end up in jail if you go out to the corridor like this. I’m not kidding – Martin spent a night in jail in Denver, cuz he was running up and down half-naked at 4 in the morning. Added to which he was drunk and was singing too. Come, come, you can take a shower in my room too.”
“Okay, I’m coming” I grinned and put on the black T-shirt, which was of course way too big for me, but rather this than walking half-naked on the corridors… I took my bra and torn-apart shirt into one hand after I got into my trousers and sandals. Of course I sniffed Dave’s T-shirt a few times. “Hey, do you love this T-shirt?” I asked when we’ve already left my “rape’s” scene aka Martin’s room.
“I like it, but I have dozens of other black ones. Why? Do you want it?”
“Well I’d be happy if I could keep it – just to remember these few happy hours.”
“You don’t have to continue, it’s yours, Kitty! If you’d know how many of my T-shirts had ended the same fate… Would it be cheeky from me keeping your panties in return? You know, I collect panties from around the world passionately… and I don’t have a Hungarian one yet!” said Dave with a wide grin and a wink. He was looking at me, waiting for my answer, but I could just giggle the way he said this. This gave him another idea: now there was a fake begging expression on his face and he put his hands together as if he was praying… He was so sweet, I couldn’t stop gigglimg again!
“Okay, honey, you can keep it” I said finally “But hide it well.”
“I will” he smiled at me.
“And when do you want to get it? Before or after the concert?” I continued the game.
“Dave, Dave!” we heard a male voice from behind. He was running towards us – he was someone from the crew. We stopped and my favourite singer looked at him questioningly, waiting for the guy to speak, but he was eying me.
“Don’t stare at the lady, Tom, she’s with me.”
“Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean it, but she’s in your T-shirt.”
“I gave it to her.”
“Uh, I see.”
“You came quite in a hurry.”
“Oh, yeah. You have to go to the concert immediately – Mart’s already there. We don’t have enough time for another full sound check, but we have some problems with the adjustments – they’re working on it, but we need you for your mic obviously…”
“Okay, I’m going. Call Phoebe to bring something hot from her clothes, I think they have the same size with this young lady, who’ll sing with us.”
“What? Dave? I don’t think I’ve heard it right!”
“Tom, who am I?”
“The front man, of course, I get it, right away, sorry” and while he ran away he was still shaking his head.
I was just standing there and looking at him. Dave wasn’t pushy, but with his steadiness he showed Tom’s place. “Something hot?” I asked him.
“Hot, of course! You’ll sing for me, baby! I need to look hot too, right?”
“Yeah, but you always got rid off those clothes on stage!”
“Haha, yes, and you are drooling there and screaming what else should I take off too! Not to mention the bras and panties on stage and the kinky proposals on the banners… Uh-oh, you’re bad!”
“Well… we girls are like this…” I looked at him playfully, the tip of my tongue pointing at him.
“Come on, you have 5 minutes to have a shower and get dressed. We fucked up our time. Come, come!”
I followed him still grinning then because we were in a lack of time, we took the shower together in record time. He stole a few kisses, but then we finally got out of the bathroom. The dress was already lying on the bed. I raised my eyebrows as I held it in front of me. While Dave got dressed, he was watching my reaction with a smile.
“What? You don’t like it?”
“Well… usually I don’t wear such stuff, that’s for sure…” I eyed the dress, which was made of an elegant and deep-grey material. When the light reached it from a different angle, it was glistening in other colours too. But I didn’t have anything against the texture, but the cutting… I was more like a sporty girl by dressing and the deep décolleté was unusual for me, just like the fact that the dress let my back nearly totally bare. I had no idea what’d keep it on me. I was deadly sure that its prize was much higher than my half-year salary all together…. “I should wear this tonight?”
“It seems so. Are you putting it on, or will you come in this towel?”
“Of course, I get in it quickly. The make up, my hair and stuff?”
“When we get there and now come! Sorry, from now on I’m in another mode – I’m not an ass, but I’ll sing, I’m concentrating on this, this is why I won’t be able to pay attention on you, I’m sorry. Let’s go!”
Because the dress was quite revealing, I could get into it soon and I was already hurrying next to Dave, who of course eyed me once from head to toe and this made me wear this “something” proudly. My insecurity faded away momentarily. But when we got closer to the Puskas stadium, where I’d been with the guys once today, I started to worry again. I’ll mess it up. It’ll be a total disaster for me in front of 40.000 people! And what’ll think the Hungarian fans? I assume Dave’ll tell them my name or he’ll make some comments about who I am and what I was doing there… Unbelievable! This was the last thing I thought possible, when I stepped out of my flat this morning… I started to panic – although just my shaking hands showed this, which were resting on my thighs as we were sitting in the car. Dave really immersed into his own thoughts – I couldn’t hear a word from him. And I was just sitting there with the raging panic inside of me. What’s now? I can take anything, but I can’t let Mart and Dave down with not coming up to their expectations. They took an enormous risk when they’ve decided to put such an amateur like me into they sanctuary. But obviously they saw something in me, I must trust myself!
“Come on, we’re here!” called me Dave nicely when he saw that I was miles away “No need to jitter!’
I laughed shortly “Hah, it’s easy for you to say…” I noted following him out of the car. For a moment I wondered how many people were running around us with serious expression. Tom from earlier came to us again, nearly running.
“Hurry Dave, calm Martin down, he’s ramping. Usually he doesn’t do this – I really don’t know what’s with him, cuz although it wasn’t easy, we fixed things.”
“Great – I expected this. I don’t want another Kansas! Come on, baby, now we go and calm the genie! Probably there’s nothing wrong with him, just the usual mortal fear before the concert.”
“I’ve never thought that concerts make such great demands on you. You are so natural and professional on stage.”
“Of course, but there’s a lot of work behind that natural attitude. By the way it seems easy just from the outside, inside I nearly explode every night. Concerts get out a lot of energy of me – I’m really tired after them. Those two hours are like working all week along. Look, here he is…”
And then I saw Martin, who was leaning against the wall with a pale face and was muttering something under his nose.
“Holy crow, who made a demon of you Dave? Don’t you want wings too? Although I can’t se a halo around your head, but you seem to drift in the air.”
Dave stepped closer to the blonde musician then asked him to sit and gave a glass of water into his hand, while he was speaking to him quietly. I couldn’t hear what he said, but after a few minutes Martin seemed a bit calmer. Then Dave stood up and looked at me.
“Take care of him” he said and vanished.
I was standing next to Mart, but had no idea what I should do. I felt a bit lost in such a posh dress, with my shaking stomach and with a clearly crocked Martin L. Gore by my side.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked quietly “What happened?”
He lifted his green eyes at me and nodded. “I was a bit nervous when it turned out that everything collapsed right before the concert” he said quietly. I nodded. This wasn’t an annoying situation, but a scary one. I’d have dread myself in such a situation, not knowing if the staff could fix the damage. I’m not surprised that sometimes the guys can’t take it anymore.
“Uhm, Martin… Can I have some technical questions?” I knelt in front of him, putting my elbows onto his knees. Of course in my lightheadedness I totally forgot that the dress showed quite a lot of me.
“Of course” he nodded again while he softly put his hand onto my right arm.
“You know, I’m a ‘bit’ excited… Well… I know that singers usually are practicing before singing, or dunno. Shouldn’t I do the same to warm up my voice? And by the way what’s the set list? How they come after each other? And it’s not clear to me where and what I should sing. Will this on the projectors, or what? And why must I do this? What did you see in me?” I rattled out with one breath.
“I give you the set list, but naturally you’ll see them on the projector in front of you. Otherwise it seemed on the sound check that you recognize the songs from the first tunes then you smile happily and you start to sing them right away. You were so cute. We saw this in you – the love of our music. You sang with such devotion like Dave does. You know, he takes his work bloody serious, he’s obsessed with it – beware he’s a maniac” he grinned at me “This music can mean a lot to you.”
“The music and you. I love you two very much” the truth-telling side of me bursted out of me and I put my hand on my lips.
“You see” he took both of my hands into his “we knew this, we could see this on you. Don’t shake like a leaf! Haha, well, look who’s saying this! I still have a stage fright after all those years. My voice still shakes. You’ll practice scales with Dave anon. Do you know ‘Mary’s little lamb’? It’s David’s favourite. He always sings it to Rosie and he likes to warm up with that. And don’t be afraid, he’ll lead you on the stage, just let yourself go and let him lead you. He knows what he’s doing – he’s a bloody professional.”
“Mary’s little lamb?” I asked back. I barely could hide my smile “Well okay, I know that both of you are bloody professionals, you rock, but this is my first – and last – show with you and 40.000 fellow countrymen of mine… Because I’m at home here, they ‘know’ me here. This is… well making me a little nervous.”
“Don’t be afraid. If you’re not sure then try to think of something neutral. Or that you’re just watching one of our DVDs. Or look at us, or dunno…” he shrugged as he ran out of the ideas “Or drink something strong before it. Sometimes I do the same” he smiled.
“Oh yeah and then I won’t be able to stand straight” I smiled too “Or you can come to me to encourage me” I winked.
“I will” he smiled back again, stroking my right arm, which was still resting on his knee.
“Well, kids, the romance is over. I’m sorry that I must interrupt you again, but it’s time! Our rescue angel comes with me now and we warm up our voices” said the singer who came along the corridor with his lithe steps. There’s no doubt, he’s a real panther. This is sure now, I thought. “Come on, kitty, let’s sing!”
“With you? Hold me cuz I’ll faint right now! DAVID! David, I love your voice! And I’ll hide in shame standing next to you, cuz your voice has no match!”
“Hey, kitty, praising me right into my face? Thank you, I appreciate that, but now we’re going. I help you to switch into the professional mode” and he pushed a tuning-fork into my hand. I looked at him with big eyes.
“Don’t think I’m stupid. I know what this is for, but what should I do with it? I’m a total beginner here” I looked at him embarrassed. I’m sure I looked like an idiot in my fancy dress, standing there without a clue, a tuning-fork in my hand.
“It helps you to set your voice. Wait, I do it, let’s go to my dressing room – although the acoustic isn’t that good there.”
“Dave, I’m really scared…”
“It’s natural, kitty. Relax. Everything’ll be fine” he closed the door behind us. I was still grabbing that silly tuning-fork and my expression must have turned more desperate, cuz Dave came over to me and took my face between his hands. “I’m scared too. Every night when I stand there. Try to get over it. Try to pay attention just on us if you’re scared. But this is a natural reaction. Believe me, you’ll get the run of it.”
“There’s no ‘but’…” he stroked my face with his thumbs “Can we start? After it we must hurry to let our make up done – she’ll do something with your hair too.”
It was nice from Dave that he tried to calm me, but inside of me it was as if I was preparing for my death. I wanted to die! I didn’t want to go out there! But I had to. For the guys, for them. I looked back at Dave with a pale and white face.
Then finally we’d started the warm up – although I’m not sure how Dave could drew me on to do it. Just like I wasn’t sure how they could make me do this whole thing. Instead of screaming out there in the crowd, now I’ll be a part of this insanity. Unbelievable!