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Chapter 13
2009.08.12. 12:45
13.
I saw on Dave that he didn’t want to make any move – I wouldn’t let him anyway. He can watch the show while I torture Blondie! It was obvious that Martin had totally forgotten that originally we were three in the suite. I carefully sized up the distance between Dave and us – he was standing just on the borderline where Martin won’t see him in his little briefs if he bent his head backwards – cuz there was no doubt he’d do that after a few minutes. But before Mart could feel himself neglected under me, after a rough kiss I bent to his chest again, shifting a bit backwards, nearly sitting on his knees. My painful bites were all over his chest and nipples, but I soothed them with softer licks too. I tasted his skin shortly with my tongue then moving downwards I bit again. My lips reached his upper tummy, letting his luscious moans go by as my hand returned to his erected shaft. There was no need to prepare it for my mouth so after a sly glimpse with a sudden and greedy move I took it between my lips.
I looked at David, who was totally lost in this picture and was just standing there, watching us. I would have been curious what was going on in his pretty head. I saw him shifting his weight from one foot to the other, narrowly examining us – which seemed funny, cuz I couldn’t imagine him as a scientist. He was watching us like a collector, who surveys an interesting art piece. This was more like him – he was an expert in this surely. He suddenly turned around and sneaked into the bathroom with his cat-like steps. Oh, don’t go, Dave, I thought but was working on Martin still.
I continued greedily and roughly, his loud groans were filled with joy and pain. I glimpsed up for a moment and saw his knobs turning white from the force he was grabbing the back of the sofa. I gave him some gentle moves too then I licked him along just to let my kisses wander even lower for a moment. I’ve got a faint grunt for doing this then my mouth returned to his rock-hard cock again. As I was kneeling between his legs now I looked up at him, my hands doing their work. Martin bent his head forward again, but his eyes were closed. I bit hard and mercilessly into his inner thigh then looked at him. Dave was standing behind him. Again. I haven’t seen him coming back – he was just wherever he wanted to be. I couldn’t understand what he wanted, why he was crawling. I wanted to let him watch us further, but it seemed that he was up to something.
Maybe I straddled Martin again not just because his moans and sighs, but to see the other hot guy better. I licked my lips then exchanged a passionate kiss with Martin, who was far away in his happy place. He closed his eyes when I grabbed him firmly and slowly sank onto his cock, looking straight into Dave’s eyes. Now I wasn’t able to swallow my louder moan either. Martin was insanely hard!
Dave was nearly stamping. While I was moving on Mart, I looked coldly into his eyes then I closed them time after time, moaning louder willingly when my steed got deeper into me. Now not just Martin was rock-hard… Dave was suffering. He ran one hand through his hair and the other tried to ease his pain, but his gaze told me that he wanted to finish it in another way. But I wanted to torture him too, if I was already in my dominant role, that Martin asked from me and which I was really enjoying too. I slowed down and pulled Martin out of me again and again just to take his full length inside me after a few moments. Or let’s just say that I took him inside as far as I was able – nature (or his father?) wasn’t mean to him. I smiled and leaning forward I continued circling my hips on him. I let him rest a bit before my next fury. I propped my hands next to his shoulders, offering my breasts for him. I moaned out loud when he snapped at them greedily, putting his hands around me, stroking my butt. I didn’t let him speed up my pace. Straining my hips I bucked against him, keeping up my own slow pace.
Now I could muster Dave without Martin noticing it. It was a maddening scenery as he was working on him with one hand. I groaned from one of Mart’s bite on my breast – but maybe from seeing Dave like this too. I waved Dave closer with my eyes for a kiss. I realised just then that every man is pliable. David was standing there and not touching me he bent his head to kiss me passionately and hard, not stopping his hand’s work. I couldn’t decide what to do. Should I enjoy watching him play with himself, or should I take control in this situation too? Dilemmas, choices and every choice’s a slow painful death. Of course I couldn’t bear it anymore, I put my hand on Dave’s wrist. He broke the kiss and with his hand he put my fingers around his long shaft. Now both of our hands were moving on him, continuing the game.
I felt my cheeks burning – it was hot in this room. I slightly accelerated my hips’ moves as we got carried away pampering Dave. Martin went on with sucking and biting my breasts, without noticing anything, sometimes moaning onto my chest. I grabbed Dave harder, but he managed to remain silent. I looked into his deep green eyes and holding his cock I forced him to come carefully closer. Now I found the phrase ‘men follow their dicks’ really appropriate… I broke eye-contact and took his hardness between my lips carefully, not allowing Mart to notice anything. Dave bit down on his lips not to moan out loud. My mouth followed the rhythm as I was moving on Martin. I was holding Dave with one hand and was biting him gently, driving him crazy. He was still able to remain silent. I accelerated the pace – I was curious how long he can take it.
I was moving on Martin firmly, which made him groan loudly and he bit down on my nipple harder, making me moan without regret too. I looked up at Dave playfully. We could be loud with Curly – but theoretically he couldn’t. He had had his morning portion already – or at least Martin thought that. Now I should give him all my attention, but I couldn’t resist my favourite panther. I sucked him into my mouth passionately again, moving faster on him too. But I was wrong if I thought he wasn’t able holding himself back. He was quiet – really quiet – not even moving. He suffered with pride. But he was the one, who fell off the cliff sooner. It took just a moment and he was there then I just saw him sneaking back into the bathroom. Again. I licked my face where I could reach his semen with my tongue and used the rest as a body lotion. His control, his panther-like sneaking and his taste amazed me. I could still feel him in and on my mouth… He blew my mind off. I wanted to feel relief immediately!
I wiped my mouth and straightened my back, looking down at Martin, whose face was contorted from joy, while my moves got faster and wilder as I was grabbing his shoulders, digging my nails hard into his skin. Now the both of us were groaning and yelling loudly and shamelessly. I won’t deny this little concert from me was partly for Dave, who drove me crazy again with his reappearance! He was leaning against the bathroom door’s frame, looking at us with his mischievous smile. My hips were moving in a crazy pace now, which I just intensified although Mart was nearly begging for mercy now. I’ve lost my self-control as I was riding him – now screaming a few times as he squeezed my tits harder or grabbed my hips. And after a few minutes suddenly my whole body tensed and breaking eye-contact with Dave I threw my head back, screaming into the air. I barely heard Martin’s similar utterance within half a minute.
I was still holding his shoulders panting. A sweat drop was slowly sliding down on my temple. Martin was still grasping for air and sliding out of me he turned me to the side and pulled me into his lap, putting his forehead between my breasts. He tried to regain his strength. From the corner of my eye I saw Dave coming closer then sitting down into a comfy armchair nearly opposite us. I glanced onto his contented and grinning face then I slowly got down from Martin and stepped behind him to embrace him. He cuddled into my arms, snuffling there. He was so sweet! I needed to shower him with small kisses wherever I could reach him… Dave was watching us smiling and Martin raised his head to kiss me. I let him do so and showered his mouth with small kisses too. I loved both of them.
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I think Curly could taste Dave on my lips as his tongue found its way between them.
“Where’s Dave?” he asked.
“He’s sitting there in the armchair.”
“When did he come in?”
“Well, quite a while ago. He can’t shower all day. How would he look like with webs on his hands?”
“True” he licked his mouth “I think he wasn’t bored” he lifted his lazy and contented gaze to look at his friend “Did you have your fun, Dave?”
“Oh, absolutely, Martin, thank you for asking!” he grinned back at him.
“Tell me when, what and how you did things?” he licked the corner of his lips again.
“You really hadn’t notice a thing?” I leant to his ear, putting my arms around his shoulders.
“No, I was busy with something else” he stroked along my arm.
“Do you hear this, Dave? We should be actors…” I looked at our satisfied and dark-eyed panther.
“Oh yes…”
“But to answer your question in short sentences…” I whispered into Mart’s ear “You sucked my breasts. I sucked Dave…”
“Yeah, I’ve tasted the result…” he grinned with a dirty look.
“Another round?” asked David, but his eyes were serious and longing.
“Dave, I think I’m sated with my protein-portion for this morning…” I purred “Even you can’t get always what you want” I grinned at him elfishly “I rather go and have a shower. If you’re in a hurry, ask Martin to help” I shrugged “And boys, behave while I’m in the bathroom! Hands on the table and start whistling!”
They were laughing so hard that they nearly fell onto the floor.
“I was never bad in my life” laughed Mart.
“Neither was I! Just the world wanted always different things than me!” grinned Dave too.
“Yeah, yeah, of course” I sighed looking back from the door “Well, have fun while I’m out of sight. Meanwhile try to figure out what we’ll do while I can stay with you.”
“Okay” they nodded in the same time.
“What do you think? Should we go to a nice restaurant for lunch? After a little relaxation and a walk we could go to swim” asked Dave.
“Do you want to see our wild kitty nearly naked again? No matter what?” he grinned, imagining her in a little bikini “By the way I’m in, but I think I can join you just later, cuz I have to talk with Andy about something.
“Well, I think I can handle her all alone too” he threw his chest out “But now I’d leave the wild cat alone. I want to see the sweet kitty again.”
“What? You don’t want such nice scratches and bites?” he liked the edge of his mouth, looking down onto his skin, which was red here and there.
“No, not yet. You know, I have to strip on the concerts. How would I look like with such love-marks?” he narrowed his sly green eyes.
“I guess the fans’d be surprised. Particularly Jenny…”
“Hey, hey, this was mean! Why are you picking me? Are you jealous?” Dave stroked his friend’s face. I stepped out from the bathroom in this very moment and seeing this stolen moment I felt myself like a stalker. Although they saw me entering the room, Martin tried to speak in a lower tone, but he didn’t whisper. “A little, David, a little. You were always the ladies’ favourite!”
“Look who’s speaking…”
“Well in this you are the winner, no doubts here.”
“Hmm and now you praise me in the face! Tell me what’s on your mind” he took Martin’s face between his hands.
“Nothing, really… just, okay yeah, I’m jealous! Are you happy now?”
“Sure enough!”
“Jeez, Dave!”
“Why? I just feel that I’m important to you and I like it. And you’re wrong, it’s good for my soul and not for my vanity.”
“I’m at my wit’s end from you! Oh, David!”
“Sorry guys, are you sure I’m not disturbing you?”
“You heard nothing new, or do you think she did, Mart?”
“No, nothing new. Just come here. Don’t take it upon yourself that I want him for myself. There are such moments when I need him and just him. I love it when he’s next to me… I love him…”
“I can understand that…” I noted sliding back into my robe, cuz the room wasn’t that warm anymore, and while I put it around my body and sank down at the other end of the couch - where Mart was sitting – and pulled my legs up, I watched Dave smiling an unbelievable and gentle smile hearing Mart’s last words. I loved watching them when they were this thoughtful with each other. Dave softly stroked Martin’s face. As I saw from there, I was sure Blondie’s eyes were telling a story to Dave.
“Marty, Marty… You know well that it’s the same here…” he touched Mart’s lower lip with his thumb.
“We are just fighting with this Dave, just fighting and always running the same circles without an end, right?”
“You mean it’d be wiser, more decent and simple to leave each other alone?”
“Well, yes.”
“You know you can accuse me with many things, except maybe living my life wisely. Wisdom, oh yes. Tell me what have rationality or logic to do with wisdom? There are just bare emotions – severely.”
“You are absolutely right, Mr. Gahan. It doesn’t matter how old we are, wisdom lets us down in this question again and again” he stroked the hand on his face with a light smile.
“Or… this is a certain kind of wisdom. Wisdom of nature emotions?”
A smile spread across my face listening to their conversation. I was sitting there like a naïve school girl, who was watching her teachers’ dialog with hungry eyes. They were incredible! I tried to understand them, I tried to imagine myself into their places how it can be living as Dave Gahan or Martin Lee Gore… What can they feel? I’ll never know it, even if they told me, cuz I can’t feel what they feel – they are men, I’m not. Their emotional life seemed incredibly complicated to me. I could feel happy that now I could be a part of something deep like this, going on between them and I couldn’t understand how they were able to open up like this – especially Martin, who was always the quieter and withdrawn one. I was thinking about what Dave’d sad, about the wisdom of emotions. He was right – this wasn’t anything else than emotional intelligence and showing who you really was. Who knows what had affected their lives. And well, there isn’t action without reaction.
I think these moments were the insights behind the scenes and the relationship evolved during these long years, behind the big emotions, which were hidden safely in front of me until now. I was fiddling with my robe’s belt absentminded. Of course I was an outsider, but I was okay with that now. I rather tried to understand them – to feel what they could feel, although I knew that I was just trying. But it felt good – as it was good to look at them as the distance became smaller and smaller between their faces. This was much deeper… really special, not just mere physical lust. These… these were really just emotions – from the deeper kind. Their foreheads touched and they leant their heads against each other. They were supporting each other. They were each others backups.
This moment moved me to the core! I bit down onto my lip and tried to pull myself as small as it was possible and I haven’t even noticed. I needed to struggle with the dump in my throat, not allowing it to grow bigger. This two-day-long emotional storm killed me. I blinked rapidly for a few times and then I felt just the streams of tears on my face and the salty taste in my throat. They didn’t do anything special – just what other people would do. They loved each other and I was crying silently. I didn’t want time to move – it seemed it was standing for long moments. Then Martin broke free and hugging Dave he suddenly stormed out of the room.
“Where did he run off?” I asked sniffling, rubbing my nose elegantly into the sleeve of my robe.
Dave looked deep in thought after him “I guess he’s as moved as you.”
“You know, you are incredible” I told him.
“I know. Even we can’t believe sometimes what we’re doing. With ourselves, with others. There are always emotional highs and lows – Martin knows it well… ‘Pain and misery always hit the spot’… But there’re moments when it was worth being born – when you feel everything’s okay even if you seem to cry.”
“Yes, I think, I know what you’re talking about” I wiped my eyes “But… since I’m with you two, I felt myself less than you not just once. This is something… something really special. Even just watching it is fantastic, and living through it… I feel a little sorry, cuz I won’t ever be able to understand this completely, but I’m so glad you’d allowed me to see this too. This means a lot to me.”
“Uhm… yeah, we let you see it. But I’m not sure we wanted it too. Nearly no one knows this! And it’s difficult to us – if I think deeper, this is our cross. A beautiful cross, but it’s a cross and we have to carry it. Even from our closest family just a few people know about this. I doubt they’d understand it. As a matter of fact, nearly no one knows it.”
“Maybe it’s no news for you if I say that this was no surprise for me. I mean that nearly no one knows this. I guess you must be a bit crazy to understand this. Or at least open-minded and liberal – or dunno. I don’t think your family’d be happy to know about this side of your relationship” I shrugged, playing with one of my rings.
“Well they wouldn’t accept it at all, I’m sure. Just one of my brothers knows it. And Martin never talks about it.”
“Philip, isn’t he?”
“You know him? Huh, yeah, by the way he is the one.”
“Um, we can say I ‘know’ him. I’ve found him on the internet and I’ve read his myspace site then we chatted a few times. But besides he knows from my account that I love you, we’d never mentioned you or DM directly” I shrugged again “By the way I found your younger brother interesting too. When I’d read through his site, I must say, I was impressed.”
“Yeah, Gahan-blood is thicker than water… He really is a great guy, we love each other. He’s nice. Besides – although I don’t deserve it – he adores me. But I must add that I always protected him and he did the same. This is kinda ‘shield and defiance fellowship’, you know.”
“Why wouldn’t you deserve his adoration? I can’t get this. But I know what you’re talking about. Although the last time I’d spoken to my sister was nearly three years ago, I have one or two friends with the same kinda ‘fellowship’.”
“Look, would you say out loud that you deserve to be adored? You wouldn’t, right? And if we add my life to the situation – which has a not very simple side of it…”
“No, of course I wouldn’t say something like this out loud, but haven’t you considered that maybe he adores you because you are who you are? What you did for him as a brother? That you protected and supported him and gave your help when he was in need? That you were an example for him when you climbed out of the darkest pits? I know him enough to say that he looks up at you and thinks highly of you, because you’d managed to get rid off your drug problems and I think the same way like Phil. Okay, I don’t want to glorify you, but sadly there really are few people who has enough will – even with help from friends – to stay clean like you. But let’s see it from the other side! Let’s look at your music! Look from where you came and where you’re now. The Basildon teenagers became world stars from their own strength! This is something. Do you think these examples aren’t enough for him to look up to you? To cry from emotion and pride when your song had been nominated for Grammy? I think it’s enough. I admire your brotherly relationship you’ve got. Maybe I’m a little envy too” I smiled a bit sadly.
“Hmm… well I really can’t complain because of my family, that’s true. We’re still a very, very converging family. My dearest mother, what she had to bear because of us… You know, Pete wasn’t that good boy either – he was like me. My poor mother!”
“But David, you’d given it up, it’s over!”
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