In the silence just our panting could be heard. Martin was whispering sweet little nothings into my ear, although I couldn’t get every of them, cuz I was still somewhere else. My hands were still grabbing that unlucky sheet desperately as I was panting towards the ceiling. I still couldn’t think straight, although a few minutes from that wonderful moment had already passed. Blondie shocked me. Completely.
“Thank you Martin for this unforgettable experience.”
“Hmm, I thank you too. You’re so sensual – passion runs in your veins – I love it!”
“Oh come on, Mart, give me a break.”
“But you really are adorable. You know, David’d asked something. You know what, don’t you?”
“I think so. If it’s okay for me being his lover.”
“No. He asked me if it was okay for you to be our lover.”
For a moment I was just looking straight into his green eyes, which were shining contentedly, but they were serious too.
“You’re kidding! You really want me to have a heart attack?!” I leant back on the sheet, pressing a pillow to my chest, hiding my face in it. Even just the opportunity evoked dirty and happy thoughts in my mind. There were a lot of them. I can’t believe this! – it ran through my mind.
“So, what’d you say?” he asked and it was as if he had an uncertain look now.
“Martin, I don’t… I can’t…”
“You don’t want it? Isn’t it okay for you this way?”
“Martin, honey, I just can’t believe it… just can’t believe it…”
“We thought you already know everything and you’d slept with both of us and you’re fantastic in bed – I can say this without any doubts. You’re curious, ready for challenges and brave. You did everything we wanted, although I’m sure these aren’t in your daily routine.”
“True. But you two – you are my gods! Martin, are you two serious? Isn’t this some kinda joke or bet? I’d do anything for you – anything. I’d duck walk to LA, or I’d be a greyhound on the race field in London - for a year! Look into my eyes and answer me!”
“I never, ever play with someone else’s emotions. Never. There were too many people who did that to me – too many times. I know how painful that is” he answered. I didn’t say a word, just hugged his neck – nearly strangling him.
“And Dave?” I asked.
“If he wants something, he can be somewhat manipulative and pushy, but this means just influencing, not lies. He’s a very straight man and tries to be correct with everyone. Well, he’s hot-headed, but you love that he’s this warm-blooded, right?”
“Of course. It’s more than some piety I feel. I love him.”
“This is why I told Dave that it’s okay. Look at me now! David is the most important person for me. If you harness him, or you misuse his emotions, I won’t be gentle with you.”
He totally shocked me. He didn’t say not to play with him… He feared for his other lover. He really… feared for him. I pulled a bit back, so I could see into his eyes more comfortably. I didn’t break the serious eye-contact, but I stroked his nape. My eyes were serious as I was looking into his. I was studying his face and all those things which his last sentence could have meant. All those things I knew from them and which I’d lived through with them. Just with them.
“If you ask me, I’ll swear to everything which’s sacred for me, that I will never hurt him or you or anyone who’s important to you willingly.”
“Alright. Accepted. I’m sorry, that I was harsher, but, but…” he looked away and avoided my gaze.
“No, don’t say anything… please. This passion kills me… this… this…”
He looked at me and repeated “This love… yes.” He stood up and went to the fridge then he drank four big gulps from the whisky bottle. “Don’t say a word. You love me this way or in no way at all” he moaned.
“I love you this way.”
“Come, come into my arms! You have to get used to us. We aren’t like others. This is a terrible love – it’ll hurt you. Are you sure you want this?”
“If it hurts then at least I feel that I’m still alive” I answered and smiled at him “I’ll hold your head, if you’ll need that, hon…”
“And you’ll search David with me, if he disappears! Where’s he?” he looked up at the clock.
“Don’t worry, he’s a big boy, he knows what he’s doing.”
“You’re wrong in everything you’ve just said.”
“Cuz you’re worried and he’s often like a little boy, who doesn’t know what he does?” I looked into his eyes again while I slowly broke free from his arms and reached for the bottle to put its cup back to its place – this was one of my habits – but then I’ve changed my mind and sipped from it. I never liked whiskey, but now I thought I could use a bit after all these excitements. A grimace ran through my face then I screwed the cup back and put the bottle back to its place, then I turned back to Mart.
“I’m really worried. He’s lazy, but when he dashes away like this… When he’s like this, something gets into his mind. You can’t guess what he’ll do next time. And after I go totally crazy with my worries, he usually just walks into the room and pretends that he was there the whole time, sitting in the living room watching telly. This’d be still okay, but sometimes he doesn’t come back for days. I have no idea where he goes those times and when he turns up, he looks awful. He’s full of bruises and oh God help me… It occurred that I’ve found him in unbelievable places, in impossible conditions…”
“Is this… because of his depression?” I asked quietly and carefully, looking at Mart’s collarbones where the late morning’s sunlight broke in a strange angle.
“No, or that’s just one part of it. It’s his nature – even as a kid he was like this. But back then I hadn’t been worried about him this much. I call Jonathan and if he doesn’t know where he is, we go after him, kitty, okay?”
“Sure. I’m worried now too. Martin, if we hadn’t been making love, you wouldn’t let him go, right?”
“I wouldn’t have been able to hold him back, Dave isn’t functioning like that. No one had been able to tame him – and I had no intentions to do so. I need every knowledge of a whisperer to make him stay, or if he doesn’t stay, then to persuade him to come back. He’s a beautiful and noble stallion, but no one can tame him. I don’t want to see him tamed, but I would be happy if he was a bit gentler.”
“What you couldn’t done alone, now maybe with my help we’ll be able to do it. I don’t want to change him either, just tame him a little bit – so you wouldn’t have to worry that much about him. You know… it’s still strange for me what you’ve got together, but I find this world beautiful. It opens its petals slowly in front of me” I stroked his back then let him go and I went to the bathroom, letting him call Kessler.
I could hear Martin’s voice in the bathroom until I let the water run and I’ve started washing my skin, which was blue and green in a few places then I washed my hair disheveled hair too. He was explaining the situation for Jonathan vividly, but I couldn’t hear it clearly. I was sure it was about Dave’s newly disappearance. Well maybe he just went to Andy or he was there somewhere in the hotel. I don’t know him that well that I could know what he usually does and how he does his things. To tell the truth, beside satisfying their needs, I didn’t known too much about them – except the things I’d already read during the years. But since I bumped into Fletch yesterday, I could take a peek behind the scenes. And it was amazing that they let me know this much! And they wanted me to be their lovers… THEIR lovers! I guess I’ll die sooner than the rest. The danger of a heart attack’ll be very high, if they really want this. But if they’re just playing with me then… then I can’t do anything against that either, I’ll just go home and that’s it. But it doesn’t seem like they are just playing with me.
I was as quick as it was possible – I didn’t want to make Martin wait for me. I still thought about being there with them like a gift, although I liked my conscious self better, it was too tired now so this flexible side of me stayed.
Martin came into the bathroom still naked, putting his cell onto the basin’s edge. Out there I thought I’ve got used to the nudity they made in front of me, but I was wrong. I needed to gulp again, but I held myself back. We had to hurry anyway and on the other hand, my body would have been able to handle it again. I still felt the effects of the last two sex we had.
“Did you find something out? Did Jonathan say something?”
“Well one’s for sure: Dave hadn’t asked his permission. Neither John, nor Andy knows where he is. And what’s the worst is Darren has no clue either…”
“Dave’s personal bodyguard. Now that Daryl had died, there’s no one who can put me into bed when I’m drunk, or to lure Dave back. He was a professional… Rest in peace, dude…”
“Now we’ll search for the pin in the haystack.”
“Or we can follow the girls’ screams and the trail of fainting fans.”
“Don’t think that it’s like that. No one can recognize him. He hadn’t left in black suits. Jeans, rusty T-shirt and a baseball cap. You wouldn’t give a second glance even if he was standing right next to you.”
“Perhaps. Did he take a car?”
“Don’t think so – he never does when he disappears like this – cuz it’d be easy to trace – first the car then him. He went on foot. And damn me if he didn’t know already where he was going. He seemed very purposeful. I think he called someone then off he went. He’s like my dog was – in the moment the door was open he ran out of the house. Although he loved us he loved bitches better, you know… Then a car hit him.”
“Bitches? He’s after girls?”
“Don’t think so either. Although he’s a great lover, Superman’d died last year.”
I couldn’t hide a smile while I rubbed his body with the shower gel.
“You know him better. Let’s see what we know. So… don’t you remember where you’d gone last time you were in Hungary?” I asked while I washed his left arm.
“I can’t remember too much. I was drunk half of the time. He likes the pubs in the castle district, but that wouldn’t be a secret to keep. Honestly, I don’t know. Do you have any ideas where Dave Gahan would go in Budapest?”
“If I knew in what kind of mood he was when he’d left, it would be a great help. Was he okay recently?”
“Yeah. He wasn’t depressed or something like that.”
“Okay then. And usually what does he like to do when you arrive to a city? Wasn’t there a certain place which he liked here in Budapest? Which he’d mentioned? Don’t you remember anything?” I asked again and turned him around so I was able to wash his back properly too. For a minute I sank into my thoughts “One place pops up in my mind when I think of him – the National Museum. Dunno why, but because of his artistic vein I’ve imagined that when you’re here, he wants to see some exhibition. But now I don’t know if there was something like that in the museum and if he was ready to leave us behind with such grit and élan just for something like this. What do you think? Can he be there?”
“This suddenly? Even if Dali’d resurrected and had signed his works to give them to Dave as a present, I wouldn’t think it could be possible.”
“Can I join you too? Were you worried about me? Look what I’ve brought for you!”
“Dave!” I jumped into his neck in relief, not giving a damn what he’d brought. If he didn’t come back, we would have had to search for the pin in the haystack. And that was the last one I wanted to do. “Of course we were worried about you!” I kissed his face all over.
“But I just went to pick up what I’ve ordered for us and I’ve told the hotel crew that we’ll go down soon, cuz they’re keeping the sauna warm for us and everything’s closed for our request. Fancy going down to swim?”
“Sure. We’d forgotten about that.”
Martin remained silent, but I saw that he was angry with himself assuming the worst and was relieved that his love was here with us, healthily. He looked up at Dave from under the water, but with such an intense gaze that I saw Dave taking a deep breath, his whole body shivering.
“Me too, Martin, believe me. Me too” and he stepped under the shower, next to Martin, fully dressed. I reached for a towel and turning away I’ve started drying myself. When I was ready, I picked up a brush and standing in front of the mirror, I tried to brush my hair somehow. Of course it wasn’t easy to concentrate on my task, cuz from the mirror I was discretely peeking at them. Then I’ve decided to leave them alone. The’ve started kissing each other with such desire… I rather closed the door behind me. I guess it was good for them to have some private minutes for themselves – I felt the same, cuz we were together for quite a long time now.
I didn’t want to disturb them. I rather grabbed my cell phone to call one of my friends to tell something for my boss to leave me alone for a couple of days. She asked me about the situation, but because the boys were expecting discretion from me – although they didn’t say it out loud – I gave her an evasive answer. In turn I felt with every passing minute that I needed to share this with someone! I’ll explode if I can’t say it to someone whom I trust. But I didn’t want to abuse their trust. I rather hung up and got dressed. I had no intentions to walk along the hotel’s corridors in a bathrobe.
Poor Dave – we didn’t appreciate his present too much. He had no time to show it us yet, I thought then walked to the window and looked down to the street. I thought I’ve seen a few Depeche fan down there. It was incredibly odd that the situation had changed and now I’m inside here. I gulped a big one when I’ve heard their echoing deep moans time after time. I so wanted to see what they does when they knows they’re alone. But it wouldn’t have been decent. I felt my self very strange. I sat down into an armchair with a cup of tea to think a bit.
But my thoughts got always distracted with the louder moans. Knowing that the heroes of my life were dealing with each other rather intensely in the bathroom, drove me crazy! Then they calmed down a bit and I was grabbing the cup’s ear so hard that my fingers turned to white. The tea was already cold.
Dave peeked out, wearing nothing “Are you still here, kitty? The present I brought… please, bring it out, cuz it’ll go to waste. We’re coming too. Hm, if Mart can stand up.”
“What did you do to him?”
“Who? Me? Hey, what did HE do to ME?” and then he came out of the bathroom a bit more and seeing his chest I understood what he’d meant. “He paid back for everything I’d done to him. The passionate and wild Mr. Martin L. Gore” he tucked his head back to the bathroom, addressing this last sentence to the other guy who was slowly getting up from the floor.
Jesus Christ, what did they do to each other? – I thought as Dave wobbled into the room discretely. For a minute I couldn’t even move – I was just grabbing that damned cup even harder – and first I was looking at Dave with round eyes, who had red and purple bruises not just on his chest, then at Martin, who appeared in the door – all wet, full of little injures, leaning against the doorframe. He glimpsed at Dave with his tired eyes, but I could still see the fire in them. They were glistening with such a fire that if I was Dave, I would have burned to ashes right away. I suspected that if they weren’t this tired, Blondie would have caught Dave again, who was sitting down carefully onto the white couch, touching his bloody lip.
Then I came back to reality from his compelling gaze and closed my mouth to get up. I said nothing just approached the bathroom. Only Mart was like a little retentiveness as he was leaning against the doorframes with his hands. I looked him in the eyes. I’d never seen him like this! His irises seemed to whirl. He was totally different! Demonic! Diabolical! ‘There’s a devil waiting outside your door…’ He was that devil!
I stepped into the bathroom a bit panting – the place looked like a battlefield slippery from water. I didn’t dare to look around too much, I just took notice with one glimpse that a lot of things were lying about. Like after a nuclear explosion. I quickly picked up Dave’s bag and ran for the door. Martin was looking at me. I won’t deny that for a moment I was afraid from his green eyes, which seemed to gloom. Whom had I let into my bed?
“Here’s your bag, Davie. Yummy, yummy. So you brought choc!”
“No-no. It’s bio carob with spinach” he answered indignantly and took out an enormous box from the bag. He opened it. There was a huge chocolate parfé cake inside, which’d already started to melt by the edges. Obviously it couldn’t take half an hour from the bathroom’s steamy air. Dave pushed a piece to his mouth and not into his mouth.
“Do you want me to order some ice instead?” I asked sitting next to him and dug my finger into the melted edge of the cake to taste it.
“No, it doesn’t matter. This’ll be enough” he answered and ate the piece of cake.
“Mart, don’t you want to try it?” I looked at him questioningly “It’s delicious” I took another piece.
“Yeah, I try it too” he sat down really close to Dave, embracing his shoulder, pulling him to him and like a purring cat Dave let him do so. I just remind you that they were totally naked. And this was that point when I swallowed the wrong way.
Dave grinned and softly patted my back “Relax kitty, you don’t have to eat this greedily.”
“I wasn’t… greedy… it’s just… you two!” I looked at them ‘accusingly’ with tears in my eyes because of the coughs “What’ll be downstairs in the pool? Will I drown there?” I cleared my throat then chipped another piece from the cool cake absentmindedly “Sooner or later you’ll kill me.”
“Tell me what did you find that amusing that you swallowed the wrong way?”
“What you two do with each other, oh god, I go crazy from that!”
“It turns you on, kitty?” lifted Martin my chin with his palm.
“Do you want to hear what I’d done to David?” Now Dave started to snort. “Oh come on, Davie, she’s our kitty.”
“Even if she is…” he turned to me “You know, usually he’s not like that, but today he… really snatched me” Dave smiled at Martin.
“And you were enjoying it, right?” Blondie asked his friend.
“Jeez, Martin, if we were able to carry on, I’d ask you for another round.”
The temperature of the room rose at least with ten degrees again. “Marty, would you really tell me?” I begged.
“If you tell me one of your adventures in details then I let him tell you our story” agreed Dave too.
“Okay, I already know which one I’ll tell you” I smiled “But it’s your turns! I want to hear every dirty detail!”
“Wow, you have more exciting cases?” Dave stuck to my first sentence, but I just winked at him.
“I’m waiting forward to your story too. Well then…” Martin put a piece of cake into his mouth.
“Martiiiiin! Don’t do this to me!” I looked at him with big puppy eyes.
“Isn’t turning you on the point?” shot Dave a lopsided smile at me. Ignoring Dave again I was staring at Blondie.
“I’m surprised that you’re this curious…”
“I AM curious!”
“Alright, alright. My little doggy’ll complete me if I leave something out” he pulled Dave’s leg.
“Your whaaaat??? Your dooooggy?? Don’t do this to me Martin, please start it already!!”
“Well for a start I got rid off his wet clothes – just to make sure he won’t catch a cold.”
“Yeah, you and your good intentions…” grinned Dave and put another piece into his mouth.
“Yeah, we can say it that way…” he shrugged, grinning.
“Wait, wait! I have to imagine this!” I closed my eyes for a few moments “Uhh… yes… Hm… I’ve got it. Go on!”
Both of them tried to keep their laughter down. They were laughing at me, but it was no problem for me.
“Well, the clothes landed on the floor and our lips met while my hand started to play with his ‘little one’…”
“And of course all DM fans around the world know from the frequent demonstrations that it’s not little…” I grinned.
“And then the soap landed on the floor” Dave laughed out loud and Martin joined him “and don’t laugh” said Dave “cuz it really slid out of my hand and we started the search after it and I went down on all fours and somehow Martin knelt behind me and this is why on the next concert I won’t kick up in the air, and I won’t strip – even if that means I’ll die from the heat. Go on, Martin, tell her how you’d tortured me and before you’d ask, no I didn’t push the soap to the floor willingly. Anyhow, use the shower gel!”
“I did” he licked his mouth with a dark gaze. My brain started to work again.
“Instead of saliva, right?” I winked, recalling a picture of our sweet trio’s sandwich from a few hours earlier, when he wet himself before entering me.
“Well after that I had a quite easy way into him…”
“You shouldn’t leave the ‘wild’, ‘merciless’, ‘dominant’ and ‘tyrant’ words out either, you… you evil seducer!”
“We could speak about who was the one who was shaking his nice butt in front of me before our first night together… I couldn’t see anything else, I didn’t want anybody else just you!” Mart looked at Dave, but this time his gaze was serious. It was clear that he was still thinking about this whole situation that way, although his mate handled their relationship more freely and without reservations. Martin was simply as jealous as Othello.
“But I hadn’t done it willingly…” Dave played the innocent, licking the melted choc from his finger.
“Yeah, sure” answered Blondie with doubts, following Dave’s move “But to move on with the story, for a while we were doing it that way then I dragged Dave to his feet and pinned him to the tiles. I wanted to feel him in my mouth” he said, still watching his mate then he looked at me “Do you like it so far?”
I was watching Dave too as he was licking his fingers – one’s sure: I know very few men who’re more sensuous than Dave. And it was clear that he was enjoying the choc – its taste, smell, colour and touch. When he realised that Mart’d stopped with the story and we both were staring at him, he asked “What’s now?”