After a few moments Dave closed his room’s door quietly behind him. He had no desire to answer Jen’s question where he was going, but luckily she didn’t wake up. He put his hands into his olive-green jacket’s pockets after he arranged his scarf with a thoughtful face. He stepped out of the hotel where a cab was already waiting for him. Of course he was going to see Mia. He knew that there was no visit time in the middle of the night, but now he used his connections and after a phone call he had a green light. He nodded to the doctor without a word and stepped into the dimly lit room. The machines painted the walls with their blue lights. ‘Blasphemous Rumours’ came into his mind right away.
Ended up on a life support machine, he thought with a bitter taste in his mouth. He pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, taking Mia’s slim hand carefully into his. A little machinery was on one of her fingers, counting her pulse. His heart sank as he started watching the vulnerable woman. Her chest was rising and sinking obediently to the life support machine’s rhythm. The young woman was motionless, she was sleeping soundly.
Obviously from the strong antibiotics, Dave grimaced. He was worried because of the strong meds. If Mia has to take them for a long time, she could get addicted to them like a junky.
“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you” he whispered and put a kiss onto her hand. Mia hasn’t reacted. Now she couldn’t hear anything. Her sleep was dreamless. A tear ran down on Dave’s face as he smiled bitterly. He blamed himself just as much as he blamed Martin. He was careless too. Both of them endangered her life – for the second time and now it was very close… He was wondering whether they’ll pull Mia down with them if they continue this affair. He was seriously worried that this poor girl can die from this relationship. But if they decided to leave her, would she survive that?
He was full of worries and doubts as he was examining the pale face, the closed eyes, the matted brown hair and the scary tube which was coming out of her mouth. It was nailed there so it could not move. He knew how it feels. He gulped unwillingly. For a very short time he had such a tube too. Back then…
At that time he experienced a lot of things – this is why he doesn’t like hospitals and he tries to do everything so he can stay away from them. Bad memories. “The Cat” the doctors called him like that, cuz in his darkest period he lived through a lot of things. How many lives had left for him? And for Mia? She was some kind of cat too and he was worried about her. He was worried that this illness, bringing her back from death, the meds and they can just cause more damage to her…
He was sitting there nearly until dawn. The light blue line over the horizon warned him that it was time to go back to Jenny. To his family. He was wondering – he put Mia in front of his family? How long can he keep this relationship in secret? It’d be a disaster if it turned out. The band’d be over – and for Mia’s, Martin’s and his life too. He shooed these thoughts, he can return to them later. Now Mia was top priority.
On that day after lunch Jenny and Stella said goodbye to Dave, who tried to blame his worry for Mia to the coming concert. Jen looked at him in a strange way, but she didn’t say a word yet. They agreed that they’ll speak about a next visit some time then they’d left. Dave realised surprised that he sighed in relief from this. But he calmed himself that this was just because the worrying and the situation. He had to prepare himself for the concert and he’ll have to speak with Mart about Mia and what they should do with her when they’ll have to go to the next city. He was sure she won’t be able to go with them the day after tomorrow – and for telling the truth he wouldn’t let her do so until she’ll be perfectly healthy again.
The day had passed relatively quickly. They went into the hospital with Martin and Andy then they had to concentrate onto the concert, which was like a routine task for them, although Dave was more tense than usual. He was running and screaming into the mic a lot to somehow deduce the tension he felt. He felt the lack of Mia’s vocal and this inspired more energetic movements from him.
After the concert Anton walked to them.
“Boys! This… this was simply fantastic! Incredible energy… Oh my god! The crowd… and the songs were nearly pulsating! We have to release this gig on the next DVD.”
Dave looked at Martin then turned back to Anton “I don’t think we should release this one. I was nervous today on stage and this’d be visible to everyone. And I’d prefer it with backing vocals” he drank from his mineral water.
“No, no, Dave, I hang on to this. You drove the audience wild! We have a fantastic shooting from you! We can’t skip this one!”
Anger crossed Dave’s face for a moment. He hated when someone disagreed with him. “Martin?” he asked, his voice nearly snapping.
“I’d like to have the vocals on the DVD too. That’s something new from us and I want to show it.”
Anton was looking at them shocked for a few moments. They’d never questioned his work.
“But Mart… you can’t deny that this concert was the best.”
“I won’t deny that it was a quite aggressive concert. Do you really want to release this to show it to the fans?”
“But they’d enjoyed it!” he broke out.
“Well yes. They’d enjoyed it. But it would probably turn out something different on the DVD. The fanatics – and the others who weren’t here – would realise that I was raging not because I was happy” Dave interrupted and lit a cigarette “And that wouldn’t be good for our image, would it?”
“What?” Anton looked at him confused.
“It wouldn’t be good to let them see how edgy I was and how tense Martin was. They’d think that we have problems among the band members. In my opinion this wouldn’t be too good.”
“Anton! Can we change the topic?” Dave flashed his dark gaze on him edgily “I’m not in a good mood and I don’t want them to see it – you could understand this.”
“What’d you say to a compromise?” Martin looked at Dave then Anton.
“What kind of compromise?” the Dutch asked.
“For example after I got out of my depression and the band’ll be full again, I’ll make you an even better concert than this!” Dave inhaled the smoke from his cigarillo and looked questioningly at Corbijn.
He was looking at the boys unbelievingly. “I’m sorry guys… but an even better concert?”
“Yes, an even better one!” Dave smacked at the table nervously when the last drop of his patience was gone too “Don’t you think that we can do it?!” he asked him yelling loudly.
“Relax Dave” Martin – who was sitting next to him - touched his arm.
Dave sat back cursing under his nose, nearly pouting.
“Alright, alright!” Anton held up his hands defensively “But we’ll keep this record too and if you don’t make a better show for me, then we’ll release this one.”
“Fine!” Dave growled and lit another cigarette then Anton finally walked out of the room.
Mart looked at Dave “Are you okay?” he asked softly.
“Are you asking this seriously?” he flicked the ash into the ashtray a bit calmer “No, I’m not okay!”
“Relax” he went on with his immovable calmness “We’ll take care of it. After Mia’s return we’ll give such a party that he’ll search for his jaw on the floor. Cuz she’ll be with us, Dave.”
“Are you really sure?” he turned to him questioningly.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you really sure that after all of this she won’t leave us behind? We just bring problems and bad things into her life – haven’t you noticed?”
“Don’t be like this to me Dave” he looked at him a bit harder “This won’t help. By the way I noticed it. But we must let her decide.”
“Yeah” he sighed looking at the burning cinder. Dejection swayed all over his body “But telling the truth… I’m afraid of her decision. With my mind I know it’d be better for her to go home and live a calmer life, but my heart… you know.”
“Yeah, I know” he hugged his shoulder “She’ll get better and then we’ll see, okay? You shouldn’t be worried until then. We have to leave in two days. We should pray that she’ll come round until then and we can tell her the news. If not then we leave a message or we write a letter or dunno” he shrugged. He was the sober one from them now. Dave just smiled at his friend. He was right. Finally he stood up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.
After the concert – on the day of their departure – Mart and Dave went into the hospital, hoping that Mia’ll be conscious. But she was still swimming in senselessness’ sweet groove, so the guys couldn’t tell her what they wanted to share with her badly. They had so much to say! Martin got some papers and sat down in Mia’s room. He wrote three pages for her – telling her his feelings, his opinion what she should do, what’d be the best for Mia then when he’d finished, he gave it to Dave to write down his own thoughts too. Although Dave wasn’t the type who writes too much – he left this for Martin – now he wrote nearly two pages about his thoughts and feelings, sitting surrounded by the machines’ voices. Then with a heavy heart he sealed the envelope and put it onto Mia’s nightstand next to a bunch of roses so she’ll be able to see it if she opens her eyes. As a goodbye they both stepped to her with heavy hearts and kissed her forehead, squeezed her hand and looked back from the door once more. Then they had to go to the airport. Dave wasn’t sure but it seemed for him for a moment that he’d seen another little teardrop sliding down Mia’s face.
She came round slowly. First she didn’t know where she was. The white ceiling was a bit frightening for her, but then she realised that she was in a hospital. She tried to swallow – it was hard. She softly bit down on the plastic tube, which went down to her throat… or even further? She didn’t know but it was a terrible feeling. She whimpered a bit, but no one’d heard her. She carefully sighed and then she smelled the rose-scent. She squinted to the side and smiled faintly. She didn’t know how long her weak body had been sleeping, or where the guys were, but she felt herself a bit better. Although her throat was disturbingly dry and she couldn’t really move from the tubes, but she was relieved that she was able to wake up. When she looked at the roses again, she spotted a white envelope with her name too. From this a blurry memory came into her mind – first she thought that it was just a dream, but slowly she realised that it had really happened. It was the boys’ letter. They’d left. But of course they couldn’t stop the tour because of her, she understood that. She wanted to read their lines as soon as possible, but she wasn’t able to move. This frustrated her a bit, but she tried to wait patiently and collect her thoughts and memories until someone checks on her. Luckily after half an hour a nurse came in to check the machines and she smiled at her.
“Oh, so we are finally awake?” she stroked along Mia’s forearm “I go and call Dr. Nielsen, okay?”
As an answer Mia closed her eyes then looked at the nurse again, who sent her another smile then disappeared from her field of vision. She was waiting for the doctor in silence and motionless, listening to the life supporter machine’s rhythmic snuffles – of course ‘Blasphemous Remours’ came into her mind immediately. She was humming that song in her head while she was waiting.
The doctor came in and examined her. After he judged that her lungs were strong enough to breathe by their own, he leant to the tube and while he advised her to take a deep breath he pulled the tube out of her throat. For a moment Mia thought she’ll puke, but just a coughing spasm came. After they freed her from a few now unnecessary tubes she sat up and reached for the letter. It was so great for her that the life supporter machine’s monotone voice had stopped! She was holding the letter in her lap while she carefully sipped from her water. The infusion was still in her, just like the thing which counted her pulse, but these weren’t as disturbing as the tube in her throat. She had no idea how she’ll eat and stuff, but now she wasn’t hungry or anything like that. From the doctor she knew that she was unconscious nearly for a week and her lungs were recovering nicely during this time. He’d mentioned that those who had left the letter there, called the hospital every day. They wanted to know how she was and hung up disappointed every day, cuz she was still playing the Sleeping Beauty. This care filled her heart with warmth.
After she thanked for the doc he walked out and she was finally alone. She carefully exhaled and stroked along the envelope with her hand and gaze too. Then she slowly opened it and pulled out the thick-written pages. She recognized their writing. She started reading. She wasn’t even by the one third of the letter when the tears started running down her cheeks. Soon she turned the page sniffling loudly. She nearly completely let her feelings flow, but she knew that if she did more, that’d result in a bad coughing spasm again. This is why she tried to hold back as much as it was possible. Later when she’ll be completely healthy, she’ll read it again and she’ll cry the whole time. Oh my god, Martin, she cried out inside reading his self-reproaching lines and new tears ran down her face when he told her he loved her. Dave did the same in his style and she could just cry on this too!
She missed them so much! And she knew that she won’t be able to see them for a while. She has a task. First she must recover. Now she promised herself that she’ll try everything so she’ll be able to go after them as soon as possible. That’ll be a nice surprise for the guys! The doc said that she must stay for another two weeks. But she’ll show the medicine that she can pull herself together in no time. If she hadn’t had such a strong system, she would have pushed up the daisies by now.
A lot of people said that if a woman takes something in her head… Instead of 14 days – for the doctors’ biggest surprise – she felt herself completely well after just 8 days. She had to stay for another day for safety’s sake, but after that she was free. She hasn’t hesitated for too long – she went after the boys. She knew that Las Vegas was coming on the list. Anyway a climate change will be good for her. She didn’t ask for a car and driver, cuz she wanted her completely healthy presence for the boys as a surprise. Her first way led her to the right floor where she knocked on Martin’s door. She wanted to see him after his letter. Badly. She carefully – like a cat – sneaked into his suite.
I put my bag down and was watching him for a few minutes with a smile on my face. He was playing on his guitar, totally closing the world around him out. I drank in the familiar moves. My eyes got nearly watery, but I held the tears back. I cleared my throat a bit to draw his attention, but at the end I didn’t wait him to turn around. With a few steps I was already behind him, burying my face into his neck, inhaling the familiar scent.
“MIA?!?!?!” he shouted after a moment of shock.
“Uh-uh, it’s me” I whispered happily into his ear “Happy?”
“Of course you silly!!! Oh my god, Mia!” he pulled me onto his lap and embraced me firmly but carefully. He was kissing my mouth hastily and desperately then hiding his teary eyes he buried his face into my shoulder, inhaling my familiar scent too.
“Alright Marty, now I’m here” I shushed him hugging back and with one hand I dug into his blonde tufts while I’ve started rocking us softly. He was hugging me like never before. He buried his blonde head into me and he was repeating that he was sorry and he asked me not to be mad at him. I wasn’t able to do so even for a moment. “It’s alright, Marty. Now everything’s alright!” I took his tear-stained face into my hands “I came back to you two. Now everything’ll be fine. I’m healthy. Everything’s fine! Don’t cry! Be happy! I’m not mad at you, darling. I wouldn’t be able to do so” I caressed him as I tried to calm him down. I think my appearance shocked him – or at least this was the relief for him after all these weeks. I was calming him for long minutes until he felt himself better, but he was speaking still ragged. I didn’t let him speak too much – I was kissing him as if years had passed. For me it seemed really that long.
“I’ve missed you so much” I whispered to him – just for him – so he could feel that he was important to me.
“Even after all these things?” he whispered embracing my waist carefully.
“Yes” I smiled at him and let him tuck a long mop of my hair behind my ear.
“No, Martin, just be happy to see me, please” I whispered putting my index finger onto his lips then I was examining his face profoundly, still smiling and finally his look and face relaxed too. We kissed again and we were savouring each others’ mouth without any rush, it was so gentle.
“Martin, I just called the hospital and they said that they’d let Mia out yesterday. I don’t know where she could have gone…” Dave stepped into the room – still pushing some buttons on his cell, which he wanted to put away, but it landed on the floor when he saw us.
“I think she’s in my lap” he finally smiled from the bottom of his heart.
I looked up at my singer with a smile “Hi Dave” I said and jumped up to nuzzle to the other man too. I didn’t really want to let him go either. He picked me up and was turning round and round with me. “Hey, hey! Put me down!” I laughed and he slowly put me down.
“Jesus, Mia, I’ve missed you so much!! I was so scared! I was so scared from a lot of things. And you came after us! Haven’t you read the letter?”
“Of course I have. I was crying reading it even when I wasn’t allowed to do so” I shrugged standing in front of him in the prison of his arms.
“Crap. If I love someone – and in this case we’re talking about two men – then I don’t care what comes. I would go crazy without you” I smiled into his eyes “You’d become the biggest part of my life in such a short time. Back in Copenhagen I had time to think through this whole thing – although it wasn’t a question for me that I’ll choose you two.”
“Oh, Mia!” Dave whispered hoarsely and he kissed me too. I was immensely happy that I was finally with them again!
“What’ll we do today?” I looked at them. Dave grimaced.
“Stupid press conference. And we can’t cancel it – this is Vegas, kitty. But” he whispered into my ear “tonight we’ll use this. So go shopping!”
“Cuz we’ll visit at least one casino, sweetie” Dave laughed, but seeing my face he looked at me a bit more seriously “Don’t worry Mia, we won’t gamble away all of our money, but we have to see such casinos like the MGM Grand or the Bellaggio.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to play, but I wanted to see these – so to say – celebrities too.