Dave crossed the hotel’s lobby, walking towards the elevators. He was in a good mood, holding a big yellow envelope in his hand. There was a huge smile on his face and was shining from happiness. The medical records came back with the results. He couldn’t wait for them in
New York. He couldn’t wait to show them to Martin and celebrate. As he stepped out of the lift, he turned to the right on the corridor, quickly heading towards his blonde mate’s room. He imagined what kind of face Mart will make when he tells him and from this thought his smile got even wider as he looked into the papers. But when he looked up, he froze. There was someone standing in front of his room.
“Jen?” Dave asked and his smile faded away and was replaced by the shock. He wasn’t counting on his wife’s visit.
“Hi” she turned to him “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“I am, it was just a surprise that you came! But I’m happy you’re here!” he smiled, but he lowered his hand with the papers. Somehow they had lost from their importance now.
Jen just smiled and reached out for Dave with one of her hands, pulling him close to a greeting-kiss. Her husband granted her wish, but when she hugged him, he saw over Jen’s shoulder as Mart stepped out of his room. The blonde man was about to ask if Dave was back, but when he spotted the hugging couple, his mood darkened a bit and retreated, although he would have been curious to know Dave’s results. He guessed that they were in that envelope the singer was holding in one hand. But instead of walking there to greet Jen – who hasn’t spotted him yet – he turned around and headed for the stairs.
Dave watched as Mart disappeared with sad eyes then felt Jen pulling away a bit to look him in the eye. He already had a smile on his face when they made eye-contact and stepped into his room chatting.
“The results?” she glimpsed at the big envelope while putting down her bag filled with clothes for a few days.
“Yep, they are. Do you want to see them?” he asked with a sly smile.
“No, thanks, I know its contents… Or…” her eyes grew darker a bit as a dirty smile appeared on her face “… do you want me to check something else?” she slid her finger under her husband’s belt to pull him closer by that.
“What do you want to take care of?” he asked innocently.
“I was thinking of checking myself if everything’s fine down there…” she let her gaze run down on Dave’s body while her hand gently stroked along the front of his trousers.
“Just to be sure that the docs made no mistake?” he dug into her hair.
“No, no, I’m just checking whether they have examined you… properly…” she loosened her husband’s belt and pulled down the zipper just to sink her hand into his jeans.
Dave moaned and was already pushing Jen down onto the floor – just like Martin did with him not so long ago. Jen let him do this and reached for Dave’s lips while she squeezed the awakening hardness.
Meanwhile Martin tried not to think about Dave and what they could do in that moment. He didn’t know how to distract his mind, but the solution came in the form of Andy’s invite for some table football. While he concentrates on the ball, he can suppress his thoughts. Although the unpleasant feeling in his chest won’t go away.
After a few hours Dave stepped out of his room to search for the guys, cuz he wanted to tell them what the records showed. He hoped that Martin will be there too, although he was afraid looking him in the eye. It didn’t matter that Jen’s visit was unexpected, he still felt himself guilty. He knew that for Mart’s greatest pleasure Andy drags along a table football with him on the tour and he holds the house matches in his room in the afternoons. So he headed for the third member’s room. The laughter and chatting was audible even from the corridor.
“Oh come on, Mart! Give us a little chance!” Andy cried out, adjusting his glasses on his nose, mourning because of the scored goal.
“First you should learn how to play this properly” the blonde man grinned contentedly and the next ball was already on the table.
From this Dave realized that it was useless knocking on the door, so he simply walked into the room “Hey, notice me too!” he laughed.
“Hey, Dave! Come here! Help us out against Mart! He doesn’t let us play!” Andy said, hope flickering his eyes.
“But you know, that we are a too good match with Martin, right?”
“This is why I’ve said to help against him!” he pushed Christian away a bit. Until now they tried to distract Martin’s attention together.
Curly just smiled from Dave’s sentence.
“Okay, although I didn’t come to play.”
“Then why are you here?” Martin asked quietly.
“I’ve got the medical results. I was about to go and tell them when I bumped into Jen. I didn’t know she was coming” he glimpsed up from the table football to look at Martin for a few seconds then he focused on the ball again.
The blonde man didn’t say a word just examined Dave’s face.
“AND??? What do the results say?” Christian asked curiously, although he suspected that it can’t be that bad if Dave has such a good mood.
“They’ve found nothing. But of course I’ll have to go to controls for a long while, but now everything seems to be fine” he smiled.
“This is great!!!” Andy cried out and Chris joined him, patting Dave’s shoulder.
“I’m glad too” Martin looked at the singer, but stayed at his place. Just his piercing eyes gave a hint from his feelings.
“Thanks guys” Dave laughed too “And now I’ll kick your butts…” he announced with a wide grin and leant over the table again.
A few days have passed and meanwhile they did some gigs too. Jennifer was still with the boys, which limited Martin’s chances. He had to content himself with those few glimpses and touches from Dave and this frustrated him a bit. But he didn’t want to complicate things even more so he tried to busy himself with other things. Now he was trying to tidy up his travelling case, because when he opened it on the actual location of the next concert, everything wanted to fall out of it. He cursed that member of the crew under his nose who put his case into the dressing room in not in a too professional way.
The door opened and a tall, slim figure stepped in.
“Mart?” he asked on his low tone “What’re you doing?”
“Some bastard knocked over my case and now everything’s a big mess in it. I’m trying to tidy it up a bit” he grumbled sitting on the floor.
Dave sighed with a smile and sat down next to him “Wait, I’ll help.”
“Thanks” Mart whispered, putting some make-up stuff out of the way.
Dave’s long fingers picked up Martin’s stuff quickly. This was the closest contact with Blondie since a few days’ time, but he worked quietly. What could he say him? Should he start to explain the situation why Jen was here with them? After all she’s his wife, she can visit him whenever she wants… Yes, he missed Martin, the nights they’ve spent together, the scent of his skin and his touches…
Martin didn’t want to go into chit-chatting with the singer. Usually he hated that anyway. He rather kneeled up to hang his vest into the chest.
“I miss you” Dave said quietly. Maybe he couldn’t believe either that he said it out loud.
Martin froze kneeling there then lowered his hand, still focusing on his clothes, but not seeing them. He swallowed hard. Dave was just looking at him without a word – he wasn’t able to say anything else. Martin slowly sat back onto his heels then looked at Dave, caressing his stubbly face with one hand.
“I miss you too.”
David closed his eyes and enjoyed his mate’s touch, putting his hand onto Mart’s. The blonde man just sank into the longing gaze and ran his thumb on the full lower lip. Dave couldn’t take it anymore – he slid closer to him and kissed him fiercely as if they had just minutes back from their lives and he was waiting for death like this. Martin moaned into the long awaited kiss. He let Dave’s arms sneak around his body, nearly pressing the air out of him with the tight hug. He returned the kisses readily, getting lost in them nearly completely. But it wasn’t enough for Dave. One of his hands was already under Mart’s T-shirt, while the other wandered lower to discover other areas too. It didn’t matter how much he hated to stop him, but Mart grabbed Dave’s wrist and with his other hand he pulled him away a bit to part their lips. He put his forehead to Dave’s.
“No, Dave. We can’t do it now” he whispered.
“Please!” Dave begged. His whole body was shaking from the burning desire.
Mart sighed bitterly and closed his eyes while he pulled away a little.
“We can’t…” his voice failed him.
“You can’t do this to me” he looked into the green eyes. He nearly felt physical pain from Martin not letting him close to him.
“I don’t want it, but I have to. Anyone can come in” he shook his head a bit, resting his hands on his lap, not to encourage Dave accidentally.
“You’re like this because of Jen, right?”
Mart just shrugged and turned away to replace a make-up jar.
“Please, don’t turn away from me” Dave slid closer to him “Tell me what bothers you.”
“How long will she stay with us?” he avoided giving an answer.
“For a few more days. But Mart, she’s my wife. And I know what you feel. You had a wife too.”
“I just… I don’t know. I’m an idiot.”
Dave looked questioningly at Martin.
“Nothing. Let it pass” he waved with his hand and turned back to his case to line-up his shoes.
But Dave reached under Mart’s chin and turned his head back “Please…” he said nearly begging.
But in that moment there was a knock on the door.
“Martin, Martin are you there?” they heard the always discreet John’s voice.
The blonde man pulled away, stood up and grabbed one of his suits to hang it into his case while he said: “Yes, come in!”
“Hi. I’m sorry for interrupting you, but Mart I need you for a little while. There’s something mixed up around your guitars.”
“Great! That puts the lid on it. Isn’t it enough that my case is a mess, now the guitars too…” he grunted “Alright, I’m going.”
Dave was still sitting on the floor, Mart’s stuff surrounding him, and suddenly he felt very lost. His blonde mate turned back and looked down at him, feeling his heart sank from the sight.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered then hurried after John. It didn’t matter where, he just wanted to get out of there.
But Martin couldn’t make good things with just this, he couldn’t heal Dave’s new bruises with it. The singer was just sitting there alone, hugging his knees tightly.
“Dave! Finally! I was worried about you” Jen looked up from the screenplay she was reading and spotted her husband’s bad mood immediately “What’d happened?”
“Nothing…” he said quietly, but his faraway look said something else.
“Sweetie…” she stood up and hurried to him to make him sit down onto the bed. She did the same next to him “I know you. I can tell that something bothers you…”
But the man pushed away Jen’s helping hand and turned away from her “Please… leave me alone…”
Jen didn’t get sore, she knew when she had to step back. Yet she didn’t know what her husband’s problem was, but knew that sooner or later he’ll tell her anyway. When he’ll be ready for it. Or at least he’ll share the problem with her by and large.
“I’m sorry…” his voice softened “It’s just that… you know, I’ve got across with Martin.”
For a moment Jen froze then sighed quietly.
“I see” she nodded “You know that everything’ll be fine. You’ll make peace as always” she said on a comforting tone “Hey, come here!” she asked him quietly, embracing her husband’s shoulder and pulling his head onto her chest.
Dave was clinging to her as if she was the only person who could save him from eternal loneliness. Maybe it was true. Martin didn’t care when he pushed Dave into the arms of the drugs… Jen was the one who brought him back, but he still depends on Mart. Jen was stroking Dave’s hair and nape reassuringly. She didn’t like to see him like this, but during the years she learned how to handle it. Her bad feeling has returned. For a while she was struggling with some thoughts about her husband, but she tried to accept it and not tamper whit it. She’ll see how quickly Dave’ll pull himself together.
“I love you, honey” she whispered, giving a kiss onto his hair.
“I love you too” he muttered.
Jen was watching her husband for days, but his state didn’t get better. She was getting angrier at the blonde man with every passing day. Dave turned into himself. Jen was scared that his depression will return so she decided to do something against it. When Dave voted for an afternoon nap, because he felt himself tired and dumpy, she waited until he fell asleep and quietly left their room to head for Martin’s door.
Martin looked up from the sound of knocking and stood up to open the door. He was hoping that it was Dave, who clearly closed himself, but when he opened the door he faced Jen. He hid his surprise then he started worrying that something has happened to Dave.
“Jen! What’d happened? Is something wrong?”
“Yes, you!” she jogged his chest with her index-finger and stepped into the room next to him.
Mart didn’t protest against Jen walking arbitrarily into his room, just closed the door with round eyes and looked at the woman.
“What’s your problem with me?”
“What’s my problem?! Did you see David in the last few days? That’s my problem!” she turned to face him and the flames of anger were clearly visible in her eyes as she tried to protect her husband like a tiger.
“Why do you think that I have something to do with your adored husband’s state?” he switched into a cold tone.
“Because he’d told me that you had a fight and he’s this depressed since then!”
“We had a fight? Do you think we had a quarrel?”
“Martin, you always have a quarrel then you make peace and fight again! Don’t think that I’m a fool!”
“I don’t think you are, because obviously you know everything what’s going on here!” he answered nervously and there was a lot of sarcasm in his voice.
“Do you think I’m blind, Martin?! Do you think I don’t see what’s going on between you two?!” she broke out, rising her tone.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about” he said, but inside he was frightened.
“Really?! I saw you two! I saw the gestures! For God’s sake, Mart, I saw that kiss in
New York! You’re lovers, aren’t you?” she turned down her voice at the end.
Suddenly Martin couldn’t react. That cold feeling in his stomach broke free and grabbed his heart with its icy fingers.
“If I’m right you are since long years… I should have fronted him or you with this for a long while, but I thought that until this relationship does good to David, I won’t interfere. I saw that your relationship or whatever it is between you two, helps him to survive the hard times, that it helps him to stay clean… This is why I didn’t say a word. I wanted him to be happy.”
“And what do you want to do now?”
“Now the situation is the following: I can’t stand watching him distress himself. So if you love him, you’ll lift your butt and go to him to apologize! I don’t care how just make things right! What kind of friend are you Martin? Cranking up in his instable state of mind because of his illness?”
“I wasn’t the one who cranked up! It was you!” he fought back.
Jennifer stared at him shocked “Me?”
“Yes, you! You have no idea what’s really going on! You just hope and use me for keep Dave on the same level, but you know nothing about what’s between us! I saw the pain and hesitating in his eyes when you appeared – and moreover I see it since then too. He tried to protect you but he needs me too. The longer you stay here, the deeper he’ll sink into his darkness!”
She was able only to gawp for a few seconds then anger flickered in her eyes again.
“So it’s my fault that Dave’s in such a mood?! Martin, I AM his wife, he lives with ME and not with you! Primarily he has to belong to me.”
“He has to? He HAS to?! You can’t prescribe to him where he has to belong!”
“You know how I meant it!” she huffed “I always accepted his independence and his need to be free” here she calmed down a bit with a long sigh and went on with a much softer tone “I just want him to be happy. I’m worried about him. I’m worried that this relationship’ll kill him. And this is why I want you two to end this.”
“To end it? Do you have any idea how long this has been going on? Or what this means to him or to me?”
“No, Martin. I have just suspicions, because you’ve left me out of this completely” she frowned a bit angrily as she folded her arms in front of her chest.
“It wasn’t a coincidence” he grunted “Our relationship has lived through many things. It has started a very long time ago and helped us through very hard times. You have no right to simply tear it apart and you wouldn’t be able to do that anyway.”
For at least two minutes she was just watching the angry man with his cold look, digesting the things she just heard. Then she sighed “Alright Mart, I have no energy for this now…” another sigh “I don’t care how, but pull him out of this state, cuz I can’t bear to see him like this…” she turned her voice down again at the end and simply walked out of the room.
Martin just blinked after the woman, still surprised. She not just haven’t demanded them to break up immediately, but gave him a task? How dare she?! Knowing that she knows about them shocked and angered him. Because she just exploited him to keep Dave stable! He was walking around nervously in the room, shaking from anger. He hated when someone used him, this is why it was hard for him to open up and Jen did this with the most sacred thing to him. But it didn’t matter how angry he was, he couldn’t tell this to Dave. He couldn’t push his mate into doubts – the singer wouldn’t be able to bear it, he’d dissolve in it. Mart doesn’t want to force him to choose. Dave was happy that this marriage of his was working – he wouldn’t have been able to bear another divorce… and Mart wouldn’t be able to see him suffer either. Sometimes he wondered how complicated emotions can turn people’s lives – sometimes generating even more problems. He just wanted to love Dave. Theoretically love should be an uplifting feeling, right? But despite this, for Martin it seemed that after all it counted whom and how you love someone…