A silent shadow appeared behind the girl who was absorbed in typing. She used the headphone as a snood in her dark hair as she was doing her business lost in her music and screen. She found two dark-green glowing points on the monitor a bit strange. It was already dark so didn’t know what could be that strange light. She looked at the side and nearly yanked off the laptop from the bed as she jumped when the singer’s glowing eyes looked into hers from very close.
- Oh gosh, Dave! How long have you been sitting here? – she turned down the volume of the loud music a bit.
- You’re listening to us? By the way for quite a while now.
From the heartily laugh of the man Usi giggled too. Well yes. The flesh and blood reality is here and she’s searching for pictures and music of the guys in the dark room. Quite bizarre. Maybe she really is a net-addict who lives her life in front of her laptop.
- Hey, don’t think things like this, dear. If you didn’t hang on the net, we wouldn’t have been able to find you. – Dave’s words have started the avalanche of curiosity.
- By the way, how did you find me?
- First of all we read your site. And we like the way you try to find answers to the whys. And that you don’t write the usual girly stories, although there were some soapy parts here and there, which melted Curly… but don’t tell him that you know about his sensitive soul – his wink was accompanied by an impish smile.
- I always thought that he has a sensitive soul. I mean his lyrics, too…
- Aha, and I’m the cocky man of pleasure, the macho – Dave turned away with clearly visible bitterness. Usi looked at him perplexed. It was true that this picture lived in most of their fans’ head. The writers she knew through the internet saw this too, but from his reaction she felt that they have misunderstood something.
- It’s not your fault. Sometimes it is just harder for me to deal with this double life. You’ll get to know us. And I’ll be patient. Okay? – The girl was just watching the sadly glistening dark eyes on the worn-out face. How tired and shattered he was… How thin. And still some kind of a young life-force was flowing from him.
- Okay – she breathed quietly.
- Go on, ask it! No? You have to be braver, little girl. By the way I guess you don’t pay attention to the details either. Yes, I’m under treatment. It was said that the tumor was malignant. And it was not my first tumor. – Seeing the collecting sadness and tears in the brown eyes he jumped up irritated and hurried to the window as if he sought refuge there to hold back his stirred up emotions. – It’s unbelievable that you all think that it’s just fake gossip and that I can just simply jump around after this short amount of time, as if nothing had happened. Plus there are those articles that say that I’m nearly in the same state as back in ’93 – his voice was nearly shaking from the suppressed anger, while the girl was silently crying behind him.
He is right. And she slipped over these things, although she knew about them. She too thought only on her own happiness. To be able to hear and see them live, to be sure that he’s well enough to do it. But it’s possible that this demonstration to the fans eats up all of his last energies. She didn’t even realize that during her silent crying she slid down next to the bed and Dave was already kneeling by her. He comfortingly stroked along her shoulder and hair with his big warm palm and she instinctively nuzzled between his arms, running from her own feelings.
Dave’s sweet scent filled up her cells, the hotness of his body like some blanket wrapped itself around her shaking figure as she was holding on to his over-washed white T-shirt. All the tension that have built up in her in the last few days got loose and after a few minutes she looked up at the grey stubble with a much lighter soul.
- I’m sorry, Usi, I always have a crappy mood when I can’t rest enough. And nowadays I’m more edgy from all the stupid things going on around us, too. – Dave’s voice came from so close and sounded so deep that the warmness nearly rushed through her veins from it. She saw honest sorry shining in the brownish-grey eyes. After all what color do his eyes have? It doesn’t matter, it always shines beautifully.
- Thank you – a sweet little childish smile spread on his face – You’ll get to know us. And you can calmly ask questions. I need you – he was looking seriously at the girl now – I need your help so I can fix what I’ve missed in the past years. We are… close to each other with Mart again since the previous tour – he finally faltered out and a softened feeling passed over his eyes – I want him to know how much he means to me. To know that I’d give anything for him, even if we had had our clashes.
He was bewildered from his own confession and Usi had to embrace him with a big kiss on his face, because she found him very cute. – I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at you, no matter what kind of an emotional wave you project on me – she melted seeing the blushing singer – Are you always this sweet?
- No, I’m just a child. Seriously, don’t laugh! I often cannot understand myself either.
- Then maybe the things you will tell me will help to understand yourself. As the good mood guard and useful companion I’ll try to help in everything.
- Alright! But it’d be better to rest now. Tomorrow we go early and we’ll throw you in the deep water with the others.
Uh-oh, the others! Come on, brace yourself up, she thought as she watched the singer go into the other room. She has to step out from the shell which has been protecting her in the loneliness of her room and PC. Now the LIFE with capital letters is here.
Distant growly and slightly irritated voices swept slowly into her mind. She sat up to peek through the still opened door. The TV lights flashed the same way like when she fell asleep. The bed wasn’t in her field of vision but she realized that Curly got back from the party.
- Because you don’t eat regularly – Martin grunted rather worried than angry.
- That’s not true, I ate more than enough. If I don’t eat there’s nothing to bring up – Dave’s voice sounded weak, coming from the depth of the pillows. – I don’t want to fight, daddy. I’m tired. And I missed you.
- You know that we have to pay attention on the façade. – The blonde man was still crawling restlessly in the semidarkness. – Drink this. – She was surprised by the nearly commanding voice and that the singer’s begging and endearing words haven’t affected him. Now he was really like a strict daddy. – You have to take care of yourself, even if you’re alone. – The voices suggested that he sat down next to Dave. – I don’t want to see you get worse again – the strict voice faded at the end of his sentence. It sounded as if all of its owner’s helplessness and pain were embodied in the enormous wobbly sigh. The bed linen rustled as the lovers hugged each other. The gentle sound of quiet sweet kisses could be heard.
- I miss you too, sweetie, on every party where you doesn’t sit next to me, grimacing on the reporters – his shaking whisper was closed by Dave’s kiss.
Usi heard enough, the whole situation made her feel at a loss. Slowly she stepped to the door, but before she closed it she had to look into the room.
Dave, who looked pale even in the flashing bluish light, was hugging the sitting and dressed Martin with demonic dark eyes while Martin held on to him like an orphan. Dave’s long fingers were playing in the light curls, seemingly enchanting the sighing figure surrounded by the golden looming. He looked at the girl with those black eyes, saying a silent “thank you” then he pressed a gentle kiss on his pair’s head behind the closed door.